Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I own nothing interesting. All I've got is my bones, must be why I like McCoy so much.
AN: Kirk lays down some ground rules.
Content Warning: If you've made it this far, I think you're good.
Through A Mirror Darkly
Teris Xenite
Much to McCoy's surprise they were both still clothed when they ended up in bed. Instead of stripping him right away as he'd expected Kirk had merely toed off his boots, and pulled an equally shoeless McCoy onto the bed. Kirk pulled McCoy close and stroked his back, and began placing whisper soft kisses starting behind his ear and trailing down his jaw. He alternated soft kisses with playful nips down McCoy's neck, and slid his hands under the hem of the sweater that he still believed would look far better on the floor by his bed, because that of course meant McCoy was naked in his bed.
"What are you doing?" McCoy asked obviously confused. It wasn't that Kirk didn't normally allow sufficient time for foreplay, hell he normally made McCoy practically beg for it before he fucked him. But it didn't normally take this long to get naked at the very least. And Kirk seemed perfectly content just to lie there holding McCoy and tracing patterns on his skin. There was no sense of urgency, no rising pressure, just a slow methodical touch winding its way around his torso.
"I'm exploring. You see, I get the impression that you got a cheat sheet of all my hotspots in the form of a pretty Orion girl. As I don't have the luxury of a similar source for you, I'm going to have to take a more hands on approach." He inched the sweater up inch by inch caressing and touching as he went. "And rest assured McCoy, I intend on learning every inch of you before this is over. I'm going to know what spots make you gasp, what makes you groan. I'm going to know where you need a firm hand, or a light touch."
McCoy gasped as Kirk's fingers grazed his nipples, and still the shirt edged further. "And do you know why I want to learn all of those things McCoy? Why I'm planning to spend hours exploring every part of you?"
"Why?" McCoy gasped, breathless from both the stimulation and the intensity of Kirk's stare. The sweater was over his head now, and Kirk was slowly easing it up his arms.
"Because sweetheart, despite what everyone else seems to have told you, you are worthy of good things. And I intend to give them to you, because you deserve them." He took each of McCoy's hands in his and placed a soft kiss in the center of his palms and then drew them directly into McCoy's line of sight. "These hands McCoy, these belong to the best doctor in the fleet. There is none to equal you. Everyone else knows it, and you will come to accept this. It is alright to have pride in yourself, and your talents. I am proud of the work that you do, and you honor me as a member of this crew."
Kirk brought his hand to rest over McCoy's heart. "This, this is the heart of the kindest man that I have ever met. The only man I've ever known to feel compassion for his enemy, even as that enemy was trying to attack him. I know that you have been betrayed. I know that those who should have loved you, who should have cared for you, have hurt you. You don't have to trust me, not yet. I will earn that in time. But until then know that while I will never share it, I respect you for the courage it takes to retain your gentleness in a world that has been nothing but cruel to you."
He cupped McCoy's cheek and pressed a tender kiss to his lips, enjoying the hitch in McCoy's breath at the contact. He allowed himself a moment to enjoy the taste and feel of his consort before retreating to meet McCoy's eyes once more. "I will tell you this as often as it takes for you to believe it. When you doubt yourself, come to me. I will gladly remind you that I am a selfish bastard who would accept no less than perfection in his consort, or a high ranking member of his crew."
With this statement Kirk began to kiss and caress the exposed areas of McCoy's body, cataloging his reactions to different touches and locations. All the while he kept up a running commentary, telling McCoy how attractive he was, how much Kirk enjoyed touching him, how glorious that little gasping sound he made as he was coming was. Finally overwhelmed by the onslaught McCoy closed his eyes and allowed the feelings to wash over him. No one who knew of the fearsome Captain Kirk would have ever believed that his lover was brought to tears not by pain, but by praise. And yet, as McCoy accepted Kirk's ministrations, tears streamed down his face.
Kirk gently brushed away the tears and put kisses in their place. The look on McCoy's face was precious to Kirk, and he stored it away in his memory. He held onto this moment tightly, because he knew that it was a ray of light in sea of shadows. There would be more troubles to face, he would fuck up, McCoy would freak out, and the universe would throw obstacles at them. For the moment, however, Kirk had all that he needed right here.
After sometime Kirk pulled away from McCoy and removed his own clothes, before returning to McCoy and sliding his pants and boxers off of him. He sat with his back pressed against the headboard and gave McCoy's shoulder a squeeze, then pulled him over so that he was straddling Kirk's lap. He put a finger to McCoy's lips silencing him as he was going to question the purpose of these events and fished out a bottle of lubricant from the bedside table. Slick fingers began to tease McCoy's entrance, and within a few strokes McCoy was rocking back against the touch.
"We're going to do things a little differently tonight, McCoy. You get to drive." Kirk slathered his cock with lubricant and stroked it a few times then used one hand to hold it steady, while lowering his other hand to McCoy's hip. "You get to control how far and how fast." McCoy looked a little uncertain at this, after all this was the first time that Kirk had actually offered him any degree of control in their sex life. The hand on McCoy's hip traced reassuring circles. "It's alright. You'll enjoy this, I promise. Now take a deep breath and relax."
McCoy felt the tip of Kirk's length pressing against his entrance and Kirk words washed over him. He understood that he was being given another gift, a much more subtle one than the last, but a gift none the less. For the first time since bringing McCoy into his bed, Kirk wasn't constraining him, neither the padded cuffs that the man seemed so fond of nor the physicality that he was so able wield so effectively were at play here. McCoy took a deep breath and let himself begin to sink down onto Kirk's cock. It felt different from this angle, and didn't enter him nearly as easily as it did when Kirk was in control of their encounters, and in many ways reminded McCoy of trying to insert the toy that Kirk had left him with to prepare him before his first time.
Sensing that McCoy was getting frustrated, Kirk reached up and caressed his cheek. "McCoy, you can do this, stop over thinking it. Just relax." He gave him a few moments to comply with that order, and then when he felt that McCoy had calmed down enough brought his hand around to the small of McCoy's back. "Now bring your hips down, and bear down like you're trying to push me out." McCoy complied, and with the combination of the instructions Kirk began to slide inside of him far more easily. He repeated this process until the head of Kirk's cock was inside of him, pulsing from Kirk's reaction of watching McCoy take him in.
"Now, the hard parts over, you can let gravity do the rest." And sure enough McCoy felt himself start to slide down onto Kirk's cock. Once Kirk's hand was no longer needed to keep his dick stable he reached up to McCoy's cock. After a moment to adjust to the feel of Kirk inside of him at a vastly different angle than he was used to McCoy began to shift, drawing a gasp from Kirk. "That's right sweetheart. You're doing great, feels good doesn't it?"
"Uh huh." McCoy bit his lip at the dual sensations of Kirk's cock up his ass, and his hand on his dick.
"Grab the headboard." McCoy's hands came up to clench around the old-fashioned headboard. "That'll give you better leverage. Now, you're going to fuck yourself on my cock, take what you need to make yourself come. Alright?"
McCoy nodded, and after a few halting attempts found a rhythm and tempo that suited him. Kirk, always vocal he'd discovered, provided an ongoing soundtrack of gasps, pants, and hitched breathing that made McCoy's cock harden even more than the occasional brush against his prostate which was made more difficult at this angle. He closed his eyes to savor the sensations, and in that moment, he thought he understood what Winona and Gaila had meant.
He may not have money or power of his own. But by virtue of the fact that Kirk found pleasure in him, in spilling his seed within him, and in wresting similar experiences from McCoy, he didn't need either of those things. He just needed to readjust to what he conceived of as power. He began to twist his hips as he went up and down and increased his speed, enjoying the twist and flex of Kirk's cock within him and the growing tension between the two of them as Kirk panted and groaned, and his own gasps filled the air in the rapidly heating cabin.
One hand left the headboard, and began to play in Kirk's hair as Gaila had told him that Kirk liked, and he was rewarded with a tightening of the fingers that grabbed his hips as well as a twitch of the cock inside him. He leaned down to suck and nibble the tightly corded neck muscles, and was rewarded with a heated groan. He began to bounce more rapidly on Kirk's cock, panting as he grew closer to his own satisfaction, and Kirk's gasps and groans of encouragement made him tremble.
The expert hands working his dick and the pleasurable feeling of his ass being filled by a warm and responsive cock that was somehow hitting just the right spots at just the right moments, did him in and he came with a shout over the Captain's hand and chest. The tightening of McCoy's channel around him as he came made Kirk tense and McCoy felt the heat of Kirk's come within him as Kirk reached his satisfaction.
He sat still impaled on Kirk's softening cock as he tried to catch his breath, and come down from the intensity of the experience. He trembled lightly and Kirk chuckled good naturedly as he stroked McCoy's cheek. "I always knew you'd be fucking fantastic." He leaned up and pulled McCoy's head down for a kiss. "That was perfect."
McCoy didn't have the energy to do much more than lean his forehead against Kirk's, and enjoy the feeling of Kirk's hands as they stroked his shoulders. Kirk kissed him again, and he felt the corners of his mouth turn up in a smile as they pressed against each other. Then suddenly he was being rolled onto his back, with Kirk still inside him. "Shortest fucking refractory period in the universe, I swear." McCoy panted.
Kirk gave him a satisfied smirk, and then he pulled one of McCoy's legs up to rest on his shoulder, changing the angle of his thrust allowing him to hit McCoy's sweet spot with each thrust. "Comes in handy doesn't it?" McCoy gasped as a particularly strong thrust robbed him of his speech, and miraculously his dick began to harden again. Kirk's hand reached down and grabbed his cock and started fisting it in time to his thrusts, causing McCoy's breath to catch in this throat. "I thought you might like that." Kirk continued a steady pace, driving both of them towards a second climax quickly. Kirk grinned as McCoy's hands clutched at his back.
"That's right Bones, enjoy it. Come for me." McCoy tensed and gasped as Kirk continued expertly manipulating his cock and pounding his ass. "That's it, come for me McCoy, right fucking now." McCoy tensed and experienced his second release in the span of an hour, something that he never would have believed himself capable of until Kirk had pushed him to it.
As McCoy spammed around Kirk he found his own release, and collapsed onto McCoy panting. He was still only a moment before releasing McCoy's leg lowering it to the bed, pulling out of McCoy, and rolling to the side. The two men lay panting, and Kirk left his arm splayed across McCoy's chest, enjoying the way the man's heart hammered even into the afterglow. He met McCoy's eyes and gave him a contented grin. "See McCoy," He panted. "I told you that I planned to give you good things."
He sighed deeply and pushed himself up from the bed, then extended his hand to McCoy. "Come on, let's grab a shower, and then we'll see if we can't find something for dinner." McCoy grabbed his hand and the two made their way to the shower. Kirk was laughing and smiling as he pushed McCoy underneath the warm spray. As always during their shower Kirk's lips and hands tended to wander, not that McCoy was complaining. In short order the two of them were clean and McCoy allowed himself for the first time to ponder on the gentleness and the look of appreciation in Kirk's eyes as he toweled him dry.
They sat down to dinner wrapped in warm robes, and McCoy's level of interest and participation in their dinner conversation had improved considerably, much to Kirk's satisfaction. With less effort than he would have expected, he managed to pull a laugh from the historically grumpy man, and even got the beginnings of a smile. He allowed himself to feel a sense of satisfaction in that, and promised himself that he'd be hearing more of the sound in the near future.
After their plates had been cleared away, and they were settled with their beverages of choice, Kirk looked over at McCoy and raised an eyebrow. "We need to discuss a few things McCoy." Kirk noticed that as he said these words the lines of tension that had relaxed from McCoy's face immediately returned. He held up a hand reassuringly. "Easy there, I didn't say it was anything bad."
"Historically 'we need to discuss a few things' translates to and now it's time to talk about the things that you've fucked up." McCoy wouldn't meet his eyes and looked down sullenly.
Kirk reached over, and jerked McCoy's head up to force him to meet his eyes. "Now hang on a damn minute. One, I am not your bitch of an ex-wife. Two, when I think you've fucked up, I assure you, you will have no question that I think you've fucked up. Have I ever kept my displeasure with any member of this crew including you a secret?" McCoy thought about that and realized that actually, when Kirk was displeased with someone, that person typically found out about his displeasure in a much more strongly worded statement than 'we have some things to discuss'.
Seeing that Kirk was waiting for an answer from him, McCoy shook his head, and resisted the urge to sag with relief when Kirk released his chin and continued speaking. "You haven't fucked anything up, and when things go wrong, which so far as I'm concerned they haven't at this point, it isn't automatically your fault. Now we're going to talk about some things. Is that ok with you?"
"Yes." The tone wasn't as willing as Kirk would have liked, but he let it slide in favor of not further impacting the pleasant mood that they'd been experiencing this evening up to this point.
"I told you that once things settled down some we'd set some ground rules. We're going to start off easy I promise. Alright?" McCoy nodded, but the set of his jaw still indicated that he very much was not pleased with this course of events. "The first one is simple enough. And to be clear I don't anticipate any trouble about this one, but I can't hold you accountable for something that I haven't told you."
"You're mine. That means that no one else touches you." The blue eyes went arctic and he enunciated each word very carefully. "I am serious about this. Should you for any reason while we have this arrangement decide to take another lover, when I find out about it I will make you watch while I kill them very, very slowly. And then we will address my displeasure with you. Do you understand?"
"Yes, I understand." McCoy shuddered to think what the punishment would be for cuckolding a man like Kirk.
"This does not change the fact that I've told you that I won't hurt you. I won't. But I can make you very, very unhappy without ever putting a mark on you. So long as you don't betray me you will never need to worry about that. And I don't think that you're going to do that. But I owed it to you to give you the courtesy of a warning. Do you understand?"
"Perfectly." McCoy resisted the urge to bristle at the fact that Kirk was giving him consequences for something that he would never do, but then realized the logic that Kirk was applying and the fact that it was a good thing that Kirk wanted to iron out these details now. That he said he wouldn't punish McCoy for breaking a rule without warning of the rule before hand was promising. It was, at the very least an indication that Kirk was reasonable.
"Good. The only other thing that we're adding at the moment, I don't think will be an issue, but we'll have to see. You don't come without my permission. Now, I'm not thinking that's going to be too hard a rule for you to follow. As you might have noticed, I'm not exactly stingy in that department. I plan on giving you all that you can handle pleasure wise, but should you need more, you are to come to me, instead of handling matters yourself. Do you understand?"
"Yes." McCoy resisted the urge to roll his eyes at this one. Really, Kirk had been with him pretty much every moment that he'd been off duty for the past week, when precisely did the man think that he'd have time to jack off? Or hell, even the desire to? He was in damn good shape for a man his age, but he was a grown man, not an oversexed teenager. Kirk was pushing him pretty much to his limits without pharmaceutical interventions.
"Alright, that brings us up to three rules total. I think that's a good number to start with. Now, so there is absolutely no possibility for confusion. What are they?"
"I'm not to do anything that could be considered endangering myself unless absolutely necessary to fulfill my duties, I'm to be faithful, and I'm not to come without your permission."
"Very good, now I think you understand why that first rule benefits you?" McCoy nodded, it was logical that not harming himself was a smart thing to do. "Ok, then I'll explain why the other two aren't just me being a controlling dick. You aren't going to have anyone else in your bed, because I am a jealous bastard who will kill anyone who touches you. The bright side of that however, is that the admirals and higher ups all know this. At no point will you be expected to perform as others are at Starfleet functions, nor will you ever be expected to service anyone but me."
McCoy could definitely see the positives in that. The vulgar and cruel displays that some patrons put their dependants through at the Starfleet functions were appalling, and he was relieved that Kirk would not be expecting him to serve him in that way. And it was a relief that Kirk wouldn't allow the higher ups to demand his services. After all if he'd meant to be a whore he could have done so long before now.
"As for the last one, if I'm not keeping you satisfied, or if I'm not giving you enough attention I need to know. I don't intend to share my bed with others while I'm with you, and sex really isn't any fun for me unless you're enjoying it. So I don't want you worn out when it's time to play."
McCoy's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "Did-Did you just say that you didn't intend to share your bed with others?"
"I am capable of monogamy McCoy, I've just never had a good reason for it before. Now, why on earth would I want to sleep with some air headed bimbo that I pick up on shore leave, or a member of my crew looking to advance though the ranks based on something besides their own skills, when I'm going to have you waiting for me when I get home? If I didn't think that we could satisfy each other I wouldn't have made you my consort. Of course if you'd rather I fuck around and leave you with blue balls until you're willing to beg me to fuck you, I could arrange that?"
"That won't be necessary." McCoy growled.
Kirk smiled and took a sip of his brandy. "I was hoping that you were going to say that." He sat his glass down on the table with a clink. "Come on, we should get to bed. You need your rest, can't have the best doctor in the fleet sleep deprived."
"Best doctor in the fleet? Can't say I've met him."
"Come on, I've stroked your ego and everything else enough for one evening. Now to bed, I've already kept you up longer than I should have. I'll have Scotty fasten one of those obnoxious signs that flashes self affirmations put over the bathroom mirror tomorrow morning if need be."
"Oh no, the horrors of pop-psychology, anything but that." Kirk noted with pleasure that some of the doctor's customary bite had returned and he smiled and the two of them shed their robes and lay down for bed. He wrapped an arm around McCoy, and pulled him close.
"I could be persuaded to save you."
"Ah, but I have nothing to give you."
Kirk grinned and tapped a finger to his lips. "I'm sure you could think of something. You're very creative after all." Kirk allowed himself to smile as McCoy looked like he was pondering. He leaned over a place a very chaste kiss on Kirk's lips, then pulled away. "That'll do nicely. Alright, no pop-psychology bullshit, I promise. Now get some sleep."
Kirk smiled as McCoy drifted off to sleep, he'd been worried for a moment there when he'd responded so negatively to the beginning of their talk. But things seemed to be coming back on track quite nicely. McCoy had even touched him several times without direction or orders to do so. This was definitely progress. Granted the kiss was chaste, but still it was freely given. The touches were still tentative, but they were willing. He could work with that.
He looked over to the slumbering man by his side. He'd learned a lot of things tonight, starting with the lack of understanding of his own worth that McCoy brought into this. It had never occurred to him that the reason McCoy might be frightened was that he didn't believe he was deserving of something more than abuse. In a way though, this lack could be a benefit for Kirk. McCoy's trust would be hard to earn, that was true. But once he did, the man's loyalty would be absolute. And really what more could a man ask for?
AN: So Kirk once again high jacks the chapter. He felt like McCoy needed a little bit of TLC after the things that came out last chapter. So instead of just the rules being laid down he decided that there needed to be some cuddling and comfort sex before the talk. As always thanks for reading, and let me know what you thought.
P.S. I'm high on cold meds at the moment. I proof read for typos, but probably missed some. If so PM me. Also when I'm more coherent if this chapter sucks, I'll rewrite it. At the moment it looks pretty good though.
Next Chapter: Does trouble in Med Bay lead to trouble in paradise?