"Show me your tits, and I'll give you some beads."

AJ stared stone-faced at the computer in front of her, hoping that her annoyance was being conveyed across the country to her boyfriend. He grinned cheekily at her, hoping she would break. She didn't. Her face stayed the same, and he laughed, "What, you're in New Orleans, that's like the protocol there!"

"I'm not going to do that, no matter how horny you are."

"It's not like I haven't seen your boobs a million times before, there are only a few women whose boobs I've seen more than yours. I have access to your boobs whenever I want, so it's not like they're anything new."

"So what you're saying is you're tired of them?" AJ asked.

"No, that's not what I'm saying at all, I like them a lot, and I'm really glad that I have access to them, I wouldn't have it any other way," he told her, "so can I see them?"

"Stop," she told him, sticking out her tongue, "I'm not going to flash you, this is not that kind of call. I just wanted to talk to you, and see you, and tell you that I missed you even though I just saw you yesterday, and I'm going to see you tomorrow."

"I see we've reached the clingy phase of our relationship. This is about the time when women become annoying to me, so if you come home and find all your things out on front step, I hope you'll take the hint."

"I have my key though."

"I'd change the locks," Dolph told her, "duh, and please don't try to climb the fence into the yard, at least preserve a little bit of your dignity. I'd hate to see you become a crazy chick again."

"The crazy chick is always present, she's just dormant right now," she told him, "but don't worry, it's not like I'm sleeping alone over here anyways, I've got someone who makes me very, very happy, and we slept together before so I hope you don't mind."

"Is it cold, leather, and shaped like a butterfly?" he asked, and she nodded. "You know, that's the weirdest vibrator I've ever seen."

"Dolph!" she said, covering her face and laughing, "you're so gross." Her voice was muffled and he laughed, loving it when he could make her embarrassed. There was something sweet about her still having that innocence about her. He liked it. He didn't want someone who flaunted their sexuality all the time. It was fine if they wanted to, but there was just something so endearing about how modest AJ could be sometimes.

"Oh, you love it," he told her, "you ready for your panel later?"

"As I'll ever be. I already told the host that I didn't want to field any questions about you know who."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah, I figure everyone is dying to get the dirt, and I don't want to get into it when I don't know anything."

"Even though Britt asked you to talk to him."

"Yes, but I told her that she needed to take care of that herself. I'm not going to play anyone's go-between, especially not with this, and I know that it wouldn't make you happy if I got myself involved. Even though I'm friends with Punk, I still think of you, see, that's how much I love you."

Dolph's smiled was resplendent, and she couldn't help her own smile. "Thank you, I know you didn't have to do that, but thank you."

"I love you, I would do anything for you."

"You know I would too."

"Hey, AJ!" Briley said, walking behind where Dolph was, cutting into the conversation before things got too mushy, which both Dolph and AJ were thankful for. Neither one did mushy very well. "Hey, has anyone asked you to flash your boobs for some beads?"

"I swear to God, I'm not coming home to you two, you're both the worst, and I'm sick of living with the both of you," AJ folded her arms and shook her head. Briley and Dolph were so much alike sometimes that she sometimes thought they were the same person and they were somehow tricking her into believing they were two people.

"What did I do?" Briley asked.

"Your brother already asked me to show him my breasts," AJ said, "then you come here and ask if anyone has asked to show them my breasts, so I'm just going to move back to Florida because I can't handle two of you."

"Dude, bro, that's gross, we're in the living room, if she flashed you and I walked by, that would make everything very uncomfortable," Briley shook his head, "I'm sorry you're stuck with this loser, AJ."

"Oh, thank you, Briles, but I'm stuck with you too," she told him, and he pretended to be affronted, pressing his hand to his heart as if she'd just broken it.

"Well, I don't have to stand here and take this, and if you were thinking about flashing my brother, I'm going for a jog, so you're free to do whatever you want, have fun at the panel, if you want to name drop me or plug my books or merch, you can do so."

"Well, if, by some chance, someone asks me about you, I'll be sure to do just that."

"Cool, see you tomorrow, be safe, don't cheat on my brother."

AJ laughed as Briley left the screen she was sitting in front of. Dolph waited for his brother to leave before he continued to the conversation, "Speaking of moving back to Florida, you told me you were moving in with me permanently, but we haven't even moved your stuff out here."

"I know, but we've been so busy," she told him, "we need to plan a weekend where we just go to Florida, and we can pack up my stuff."

"Then integrate it into our place," he told her, "and yes, we can use your stuff, it's not like I'm married to my things, we're barely here. We'll bring Briley to help. You can have Kaitlyn come over too since she's over there."

"I know, it sucks. It's like just when I leave, she moves back into the area," AJ pouted. "We'll have to get a moving service though because I don't want to haul that stuff myself. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about my car."

"We can ask Briley if he'll drive it. You know, if you don't want to move to Phoenix, I'm not against moving back to Florida. I lived there before when I was in FCW, so it's not like I'm unfamiliar with the area."

"I really appreciate that you would do that, but Nacho and I like Phoenix, and it's closer to LA so you can do your stand-up."

"I'm nervous for Monday," Dolph admitted. "I'm going over my material, and I just don't know if it's good enough, you know what I mean. I just don't know if people are going to laugh."

"I'll laugh, and Briley will laugh, so you won't be greeted by silence, and didn't you say some of the guys backstage expressed interest in coming to your show, so you'll have them there, and they'll laugh because they're not jerks, and if they don't laugh, I will put them in the Black Widow until they do."

"See, you always say you're going to put guys in the Black Widow, but I'm not sure I want your legs wrapped around anyone's head but mine," he told her, winking at her through the computer. He could see her blushing, and he laughed, "I'll see you tomorrow, alright, and have fun at your panel and signing, and if anyone asks, yes, I am really that hot in person, and I am the best kisser in the world."

"I think I'm going to tell them I don't want any questions about you either."

"Not fair, do you know how many times I get asked about you?" he told her, frowning as he did so.

"Can you just put Nacho on so I can say goodbye to him."

Dolph lifted Nacho, who had been sitting by his side the whole time and put him in front of the webcam. "There, Huevos, your mom wanted to talk to you, probably more than she wanted to talk to me, she likes you more."

"That should be obvious by now. Oh, hey, have you heard anything about Naomi and her eye? I need to know if she has any chance of challenging me."

"Um, just that it was pretty bad," Dolph said, "nothing particular, we don't run in the same circles, obvs."

"I just wanted to know if she wanted my title. You know, I'm the title holder, and I love it, and I want to keep it forever, but sometimes I feel so…I don't know, like I'm only holding it for the sake of having someone hold it. Nobody feels like they really want it, you know, and I thrive on that competition. You saw how I completely destroyed Kaity, I was so good at that, and now it's like none of them even want to really challenge me."

"I wish I had that problem," Dolph said.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up," AJ shouldn't be complaining. At least she had the title, but Dolph was still struggling to find a place after last year's concussion. Plus with this year's concussion, it meant he was back down at the bottom.

"No, hey, don't do that, of course you can, and I shouldn't have said that, just my frustration shining through. Maybe you could look at it this way, you're so good at what you do, nobody wants to dare face you. That's how good you are, you should just move to wrestling the guys because you could probably beat them too."

"I just feel like I need more competition, you know, fresh competition, someone who isn't scared of me. I know that puts me at risk to lose my title, but I want that competition, that's why I wanted to be a wrestler in the first place, it certainly wasn't for the shot at Playboy."

"Wow, you in Playboy, I can just imagine how everything would be strategically placed so you wouldn't be revealing anything. Maybe Emma will challenge you or hey, Paige, right, or Bayley."

"Yeah, maybe, someone will hopefully step up. There are only so many tag matches I can take. Okay, there's someone knocking on my door, probably telling me that I need to get downstairs, so I'll talk to you later, love you, Nacho."

"Hey!"

"Oh yeah, love you too, baby," she blew a couple kisses towards the screen before signing off.

The panel went off well. The fans were courteous towards her, and they asked great questions. She got to say that she loved being with Dolph, so that was a plus, and she met so many sweet people who brought her gifts and stories about how she'd inspired them. It was always uplifting to hear about how she touched the fans. She might be frustrated with the lack of competition right now, but she'd never be ungrateful for the fans who always came out to support her. This was really, truly why she was a wrestler and continued to be the very best.

It was also why she couldn't understand how Punk could just walk out on his fans like this. She wasn't lying when she told Dolph that she didn't want to interfere in Punk's business with Britt, but it was also because she didn't understand where Punk was coming from. She understood that he was upset with Hunter, she got that because she had no love lost for the man. He did pretty much tell her boyfriend that he wasn't good enough right to his face, so that earned her disdain, but even if she discarded that, Hunter was not the type of person she ever would have been friends with, so she could understand Punk not liking him.

The whole love triangle thing, she got that too. She'd been embroiled in one with Punk too, well, so she thought, so she wanted to believe actually. But Daniel and Punk both only saw what they could do with her. She figured the situation was different for Britt, having actually been with both men. But still, she could understand that part at least.

The leaving the fans part though, she didn't understand that. Even if she hated everything about the company, even if she suddenly hated Stephanie with every fiber of her being, she wasn't sure she could walk out on all the people who came to see her wrestle. Those people came to see her, and to let them down, she just didn't think she could do that, and she couldn't believe Punk would do that just because he hated Hunter. She was afraid that if she talked to him, she'd yell at him, and he'd get angrier, and that was probably not what Britt needed.

Whatever was going on with him, only he knew what would get him to come back, so she wasn't going to bother. She had things on her plate. Dolph was right when he said that they needed to move her stuff from Florida, and that was something huge, and put that on top of wrestling, and WrestleMania was coming up, and she just didn't have time to bother with someone else. Punk was stubborn anyways, so nothing she said or anyone else said could sway him.

The backstage area felt lighter this week when they walked backstage. Last week, everyone was abuzz about Punk's departure, but now it was business as usual. It was nice though because they shouldn't dwell on that. Besides, it was a bigger night than usual because after the show, Dolph was scheduled for a set at the Upright Citizen's Brigade, and she couldn't wait to see him. Although she'd seen him perform almost every time he'd performed so far, it still never got old for her. She was so proud of him in everything he did, but she knew what kind of guts it took to get up there and perform, and it made her even prouder.

"Me against Del Rio? I like that, I like that," Dolph said, "getting a chance to go against him can show how serious I am about getting back into the title picture. It also means I can get some more revenge from last year."

AJ rubbed his back, "Stiff him one for me too."

"You're so vicious and I love it, what do you have?"

AJ groaned, "Another six person tag team match, surprise, surprise. It's like they don't even care, why would I team with these two, I don't even like Aksana, and they ditched me. I'm sick and tired of this."

"Are you going to walk out?" Dolph joked.

AJ lightly pushed him, "You need to stop taking jabs at him! You think I don't see your tweets and what they mean, it's like every chance you get, you are making fun of him."

"Why shouldn't I?" Dolph asked. "The guy's a jerk."

Dolph was actually glad to see Punk go if he was being honest, and he was glad that it appeared he wasn't going to be here this week or next week or the week after that. The guy was a jerk. He strung AJ along, making her think that he cared then when she was GM, and AJ didn't kowtow to his demands, he humiliated her week after week, insinuating that they had sex when they didn't, and that was too far in his book. How anyone could like a guy like that was beyond his reasoning.

And now that he left, the people still chanted for him, and it bothered him. Punk chose to leave, so good riddance. If Dolph never saw him again, it would be too soon. The only thing that could have topped it would have been if he'd taken Daniel and Cena with him, but he didn't have that kind of luck. He'd settle for Punk being gone though, and eventually the chants would fade away, and Dolph couldn't wait. Punk deserved to sit at home like the crybaby that he was. Maybe it would give him time to change the kind of person that he was.

He didn't say these things to AJ because he knew that AJ forgave Punk a long time ago, but that was AJ, and she had the capacity to forgive, she had much more capacity for it than he did. He wouldn't bring it up because it would only start a fight, and he wasn't going to be the type of guy who dictated who his girlfriend could be friends with, so he kept it inside for the most part. That didn't mean he couldn't subtly hint that he disliked Punk on Twitter though, even though he knew his girlfriend would read between the lines.

"He's gone, so it's not like you have to worry about him."

"When he changes, and I believe that he's not the same guy who challenged you to tell everyone how intimate you got even though you didn't get intimate then maybe I'll let him slide."

"What if we have kids, and we have a daughter, and some guy breaks her heart, what are you going to do?"

"Threaten him with a baseball bat like all good sitcom fathers, duh," he told her, "either way, Punk isn't here, let's never think about him again."

"Okay, that I can do," AJ said, "I should probably meet with Aksana and Alicia, but I don't think there's anything I can say to them that I haven't said before because I think I've teamed with them about 500 times already this year."

"Don't be bitter…or at least try not to sound like it," he told her, kissing her forehead, "one of us has to be the non-cynical one in this relationship, and I claimed cynicism a long time ago. Remember, you're champion."

"Yes, champion that is getting lost because nobody will challenge her, what good is being champion if nobody is chasing you. I'm getting complacent, I can feel it, maybe it's time I cut another pipebombshell."

Dolph made a face, "Don't call it that."

"Sorry," she said, grabbing him by the lapels of his blazer and pulling him down for a kiss. "Let's both think of it this way, the sooner we get our stuff done and win, the sooner we'll be to you doing your stand-up."

"Oh, hey, so…about that…"

"What?" AJ pulled away from him, tilting her head to look up at him. "What's wrong? Do you not want me to go to your set tonight? I mean, I'm going to try not to be offended if that's the case, but I'm going to be really offended, and I'll probably sneak in and make a scene because it'll probably be dark, and I'll trip over a table, and I'll just embarrass you, and neither one of us wants that."

"No, it's not that, I kind of…did something."

Now AJ was really confused, "What do you mean you did something? This is the complete wrong time to tell me you've cheated on me."

He cupped her cheeks in his hands and kissed her softly, "Now that's just ridiculous, I just kind of invited someone to come tonight."

"Oh my God, you invited Amy," AJ pulled away and shook her head in disgust. "You get all bent out of shape about me even associating with Punk, who isn't even really one of my exes, and you invite your ex to your gig. You're such a hypocrite, you know that."

AJ grabbed her bag and started stomping down the hallway towards her locker room. She knew she was sharing with Dolph, but right now, she just didn't want to look at his face. She knew about Dolph's exes, that wasn't a problem, she even knew that he talked to his exes on occasion because he was apparently a really great breaker-upper because all of his ex-girlfriends still liked him. She never wanted to be on the other side of that. She just didn't want to really actually meet any of these exes. It was one thing knowing of them, but it was another thing to meet them.

She knew if she ever did, the only thing she'd do is size herself up to them. She knew her place in Dolph's life was secure, but how could she not at least kind of compare herself to his exes? She compared herself to the other divas sometimes, and she had no attachment to any of them. So of course she would compare herself to Dolph's ex-girlfriends. She knew what Amy looked like, she was famous, so she at least knew what she looked like, and she kind of had that girl-next-door thing that Dolph liked, and she was funny, which she knew Dolph loved, but she didn't want to meet her face to face and feel inferior somehow.

Dolph jogged to catch up to her, grabbing her by the arm, "AJ, can you stop?"

"Leave me alone," she hissed at him as they neared their dressing room. "Don't follow me inside either."

"I kind of have to because I'm not getting dressed out in the hallway, I don't want anyone to get jealous of what I've got."

"Trust me, nobody is going to be jealous," she shot at him.

He chuckled because her fire was just the best. He pushed her gently inside their locker room to make their conversation more private. "I did not invite Amy, believe me, I really don't feel like seeing her much. I don't care what she does, but no, I didn't invite Amy."

"Oh," AJ said, "well then, you do pack something a little extra."

"Thank you, I appreciate you saying that," he told her, "I just…invited Serena."

"You invited her?"

"Yeah, I mean, we're friends, at least enough to where I told her that I remembered she lived in LA, and I hadn't seen her in a long time, and I may have mentioned that Briley would be there, and…yeah."

"Oh, he's going to kill you," AJ said. "He is going to murder you in your sleep, and they're going to think it's me because I sleep next to you at night, and he's going to flee to Mexico and change his name to Javier, and I'll get sent to the electric chair."

"It's not a big deal, there's a bunch of people coming, so it's like she's just one of the crowd," he said, "besides, our Valentine's Day plan was not going to work because it would have been so obvious, also…I would have been spending Valentine's Day with my brother, do you see where that's not fun for me?"

"So what? You think that just because she's there, your brother is going to jump her bones in the bathroom then ask her to marry him or something?"

"No, but maybe he'd work up the courage to make V-Day plans with her without us shoving him into it."

"Are our plans really that important for that day?"

"No, because I'm only taking you out to dinner, but I would like it to be about us and not getting my brother laid."

"I don't think your brother has a problem with that," AJ told him with a slight shrug.

"What do you mean by that?" Dolph asked, not really wanting to talk about his brother having sex, but he had to ask.

"I mean that your brother is very good-looking, and when we've been to parties, there are always women who want him, so I don't think your brother is hurting in that department, plus, when I was out with my concussion, he was going to have a woman over, but had to cancel because I was there and your mom was there. Your brother isn't celibate."

"Yeah, but it's better when you have someone you love," Dolph said without thinking, but it caused AJ to hug him spontaneously. He hugged her back, "Okay, what did I do now?"

"You're just great, you know that," she told him, "either way, your brother isn't hurting in the girl department."

"Still, I invited her, she's coming, and you know, whatever happens, happens, right?"

"Okay, but if you're murdered, I'm fleeing to Puerto Rico to live with my family."

"Is that really fleeing when Puerto Rico is an American territory?"

"Don't get me with your technicalities. So are you getting nervous for tonight, has that set in yet because we were going to go to dinner before your set, and I don't want you to eat then throw up on stage or something."

"Well, I didn't think of that before you decided to say that."

"Oh, sorry, we'll not think about it."

Except he did think about it. He thought about it and that nervous anxiousness that came before every stand up set he did started to settle into the pit of his stomach until all he could think about was his set and if his material was good and if people would like it and if they would actually laugh and if anyone would heckle him and who of his coworkers would come and if they would hate it and if they did hate it would they tell everyone they worked with and if he somehow embarrassed himself would they tell everyone? He had tons of confidence with regards to wrestling, wrestling was second nature to him, he didn't know how to be anything but the best, but stand up comedy was something else entirely. It was like throwing himself into the ocean while only knowing how to dog paddle.

These thoughts were still pouring through his mind when he was out there with Del Rio, and he knew he should focus, but his material was still running through his mind. He couldn't have crib notes (he wasn't The Rock, he couldn't write on his hand) so the material had to be in his head, and it kept replaying, and while he tried to get into his match, it all fell apart soon after it started. One second, he felt in control, the next, he was losing, just like that. He wished he could care, but still, the thoughts about later were running through his mind.

He did have the wherewithal to get the hell out of there when Batista showed up to decimate Del Rio. At least Batista was there to do what he couldn't that evening. As he went backstage, AJ was there with her usual sympathetic glance (he was so used to it by now that he memorized every line and curve and frown), but he shook his head, "Totally my fault."

"I don't understand what you mean."

"I wasn't in it, not from the start, I wasn't in the match. My head is just on later, and I can't stop thinking about it."

"Well, go get cleaned up, I guess," she said, the reassuring words dying on the tongue. She was all ready to tell him he was great, that this was just a fluke, but he knew himself more than anyone, and if he was distracted, that was going to negatively impact his matches. "And stop worrying about tonight, you're going to be great, you've already dipped your feet into the water, you know what to expect."

AJ didn't fare much better in her match. Her team lost, but without her even having played a part in the match at all. She stood there and lost. This was her life as a champion, stand around, wait to get tagged in, dominate, but somehow lose because her teammates were incompetent or not there or just plain bad. It was getting so tedious, week in, week out, no competition, nobody even on her level. She needed to focus on Dolph's stand up just so she wouldn't get angry at all the other divas and start telling the truth they couldn't handle again.

All in all, there were five or six guys who came to the show that evening from the company. Briley and E were with her, but some other guys showed up as well, Miz, who dragged Zack, Christian, and of all people, Santino. It was an eclectic mix, but she was happy to see them coming to support Dolph. If she were doing the set, nobody but Dolph and E would have come, so she was happy to see her boyfriend actually had friends.

Before they went inside, AJ pulled Briley aside, "So, I wanted to give you fair warning that your brother did something that you might not like, but he had the best intentions when he did it."

"I can only imagine the shit my brother could pull, is his entire set about me?"

"No, but you're going to have to be very brave right now," AJ said. "Hey, Serena!"

Briley's face blanched as he turned around slowly, "Serena…"

"Hey!" she said brightly, bouncing over and hugging him. "Long time, no see, stranger. You never come to visit me, and you live in Phoenix, so it's pretty unacceptable."

"Heh, I'll try to come more often." He turned them around so he could look at AJ, and she mouthed that she was sorry. He was completely taken off guard by this entire thing, and AJ really believed her boyfriend was not going to live to see tomorrow, unless something good happened tonight. "Um, hey, have you actually met AJ?"

"I think we met a couple times when I was in FCW," AJ said, "but that was a long time ago, and we really haven't seen each other since then."

"Oh, well, Serena, this is AJ, Dolph's girlfriend, and AJ, this is Serena."

"We both were screwed over by Punk, we should get along just fine," Serena said with a laugh.

"I knew we'd talk about that at some point," AJ shook her hand.

"So you're dating the blonde wonder, how is that going? Does he make you wear a Dolph mask when you're making out or anything?"

"No, surprisingly, he doesn't, but he did make our room entirely mirrored, I'm not sure what that's all about."

Serena nodded her head and laughed, "Yeah, I like you."

"Well, we should probably head in," AJ said, as Briley let the both of them go in before him. Serena started walking and AJ hung back to speak with Briley. "I'm so, so, so sorry that your brother did this. I didn't know he was going to do this tonight and—"

"Wait, didn't know he was going to do this tonight? You mean you guys were going to do something, but just not tonight?" Briley caught her out and she gave him an uneasy look that said everything she couldn't and didn't want to say. "You two are unbelievable, you know that."

"We just want you to be happy," AJ said, rubbing his arm. "Briley, we love you, and we just…look, your brother and I, we never would have happened if we didn't give it one shot, so what's the worse that can happen tonight? You give it one shot after this, it doesn't work, oh well, you tried, but if it does…"

"I should hate you both."

"But you don't?"

"Not when you're only looking out for me," he said, "but come on, I guess I have no choice but to go on some kind of weird forced group date."

"It's not a date, it's hanging out tonight, but you should ask her out, just try it, just to see. You never know, okay, just one shot."

"Okay, one shot."

They walked inside and went to the table reserved for them where E and Serena were already sitting. AJ took a seat next to E, giving a little squeal of excitement and grabbing his arm. He rolled his eyes at her good-naturedly, but he was excited too. This was the first time he was going to get to see Dolph perform, and he was rooting for his friend. Briley took a seat next to Serena, and she gave him a little look, and if it were brighter in this room, she would have seen him blush. For all their posturing, the brothers Ziggler were big on blushing when girls they liked did something.

"You have to laugh at everything," AJ whispered to E, "like, I will disown you if you don't."

"Got it," E said, "I probably would have laughed anyways, but I'll put some extra 'ha' into it, you know, to make it extra powerful."

"That's all I ask," she said, "I'm going to put a little 'hee-hee' into mine so that gets everyone else going."

"Then we should have him covered."

"Oh yeah."

When Dolph came on, he did great. People were laughing, having fun, and nobody heckled him, except for Briley, who wanted to, but AJ elbowed him in the side and Serena pinched him on the leg to get him to stop before he could say anything. Dolph could hear his brother, girlfriend, and friends laughing, and it was such a confidence boost that he felt like he could do an entire comedy special right then and there. He was gaining so much confidence out here that it was getting easier to think of himself as an actual comedian. His timing was getting better, his transitions were becoming smoother, and his delivery was getting sharper. He felt great out there, and where he felt frustrated in wrestling, he felt like he was soaring in stand up. It was such a pick-me-up, and something he needed right now when he felt himself just trying to figure out how to get back into the title picture.

"Hey, Serena," Briley said after Dolph's set. "Are you doing anything for Valentine's Day?"

"No, why, you want to do something?" she asked of him.

"If you're free."

"Oh, I'm free."