OK so this has more angst than I expected… I thought it was going to be solid fluff… but having Pawpaw there brings up the shadow of our boys' childhood…
Also thanks to Blackrectangle for beta-ing the last chapter and her really helpful suggestions for this one.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++SPNSPNSPN+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Coming home was a sweet dream. Stepping from the car, the sea breeze blew strands of Sam's hair into his eyes. He reached up to push them behind his ear. Seeing Pawpaw and Dean come around from the terrace to greet him, he changed his hand movement into a wave of greeting. Sam grinned like a loon. Walking on air, he didn't protest Nick taking his arm to steer him towards his family, nor that Nick held his duffel. Nick was under determined orders from Anna to hustle Sam into bed, but this was modified when they saw the sun-recliner laid out with cushions at an angle sheltered from the breeze and lunch already prepared on the outdoor table.
Sinking into the cushions, Sam sighed as a layer of tension drained from his body.
"It's good to be home." He expressed, "I hate hospitals."
"I hear ya," Dean curled his lip and handed Sam a cold Sprite.
"I am glad to see you looking so well Sam," Pawpaw said, "and it is lovely to have you here. Nick and Dean have taken good care of me but having you home is a blessing."
Sam drew a breath, "I want to thank you. Thank you all," He caught Nick's eye as he came back through the open French windows, "You've all put your lives on hold for me."
Hands were raised and mouths opened to protest but Sam continued, "Let me say this. I appreciate it. I know you miss Cas, Dean, and Pawpaw flying cross country to be here. I, I mean it, 'kay?"
"'kay Dude," Dean huffed with affected faux-nonchalance, "You're home two minutes and you gotta open with feels. You been watching Dr Phil in that hospital?"
Sam rolled his eyes able to decipher the underlying emotion in Dean's words.
"Now leave your brother alone," Pawpaw chided, "He's a good honorable boy."
Dean rolled his eyes behind Pawpaw's back and stuck his tongue out at Sam. Wanting to josh Dean about his childish but funny response, Sam refrained because that would have ratted out his brother's bad manners to their Pawpaw.
"Have Dean and Nick shown you the beach?" Sam asked instead.
Pawpaw nodded, "We have walked down to the water at low tide."
"Nick and I have a running route that I could show you."
Nick hummed and raised his brows.
"No running, Babe," Sam corrected. "Down on the sands for the easy stroll Anna said I could take. I can show you my favorite spot to sit out too, Pawpaw."
"That will be nice, Son, but tomorrow maybe? I think being discharged from hospital is enough excitement for one day."
Sam chewed on his lip. He'd have to adjust to this. He felt capable of donning his running shorts and taking to the beach. He was a touch on the tired side, but would normally have run through that until the endorphins kicked in and propelled him further and faster. Running to the bathroom to relieve his shrinking bladder was the most strenuous exercise he'd have for the foreseeable future.
"I am however a great believer in the benefits of fresh clean air," Pawpaw continued, "While the days are warm, taking some time out here or having your wonderful long windows open, will blow any cobwebs of inertia away."
"Much better than a hospital." Nick agreed.
Dean gave a bark of a laugh, "You're all the opposite of me. On sunny days, they used to have to threaten to drag me out by both arms to get me to leave my room at ACIC." His face darkened, "'Course that was because I tried to leave without sanction at the start and faced the consequences."
Nick looked at Dean with sympathy. Sam winced at how their simple conversation could trigger Dean's memories of his hellish period.
Pawpaw paled. "The consequences?"
Dean shook his body like a dog shaking its coat after emerging from a lake. "Not good ones. I got this," He ran the pad of his middle finger over the lunar cheek scar that his grandfather had caressed on the day of his arrival, "for resisting. I was wild, with grief and rage, until they broke me."
"Jesus." Sam swore. He threw the cushion by his side onto the timber decking, but Pawpaw was faster to rise. The senior had a quaking Dean in his arms.
"Hold on to me Deanie." Pawpaw consoled. "You are not broken, you beautiful boy. I'm so proud of you."
Dean gulped and turned his head into Pawpaw's body with a sob, "How can you say that? I've had to claw and fight my way out, but I'm flawed and marked by it. I can't speak if… I couldn't speak from when Nick called to say Sam had collapsed until the next day… and I could… I could… You never saw me like Sam did, and Nick too, when I couldn't walk right, couldn't talk…"
"Hey," Pawpaw tilted Dean's head up with a two gentle fingers under his chin, "Look at me. I know. Believe me. While Sam was in the Lawrence ICU and John was being detained for questioning. While Samuel rang relatives and undertakers, I washed the smoke and stains off your body. I laid you down in my bed and covered you with our blankets. I stroked your forehead while your eyes relived the nightmare. And neither of us could speak a word, but your small hand squeezed mine. You always were a beautiful person Dean, and I don't believe for a moment that the years have changed that."
"Listen to Pawpaw," Sam had been biting down on his lip.
"You took care of me." Dean's voice was small and young.
"I did. You and Sam, and I would have done it every day with pleasure." The deep regret in Pawpaw's words tore at Sam's heart.
Dean's mask slipped back up as he said, "Would have been a different childhood, hey Sammy? Being in one place? With someone to raise you with love?"
"I had someone who raised me that way. I had you, Dee." Sam's eyes bore holes into Dean with conviction.
Dean dropped his eyes as if he had reached his limit for 'emotional' discussion. He tugged at the fastenings of his wrist cuff. Sam almost expected a 'Good Talk' comment but Dean was mindful of his Pawpaw's presence and instead picked up on a comment that the older man had made. "You said Dad was being questioned about the fire?"
Pawpaw nodded. "It was accidental. Final verdict of the fire officers. But they had to investigate. John had a record of misdemeanors. It also didn't look so good that his four year old rescued his baby son, while he was comatose with alcohol on the sofa."
"Mom gave me Sammy." Dean's eyes glistened. "She told me to run, but I followed her through the heat and the smoke into Sammy's nursery. And she put him in my arms but it was too hot. There were flames everywhere. I ran as fast as I could but Sammy was really heavy and when I looked back the whole upstairs was ablaze and Mom was… Mom was gone."
Nick disappeared to get the box of Kleenex and shared them around. When Pawpaw had dried his eyes he touched Dean's arm, "Thank you."
"What?" Dean blinked.
"My mind has conjured horrific ghastly versions of my baby's last moments for twenty years. I've seen John beat her, seen her die screaming for her boys… woken with night terrors of her death. The truth is dreadful but she put Sam into your arms?"
"She did." Dean nodded slowly.
"She held her boys at the last."
Dean nodded again.
"Thank you." Pawpaw gave a little sigh, "Samuel told me, you know. He would say that Mary must have had a hand in getting you both out of the house. Would you mind very much if I called him?"
Dean and Sam both spoke together that they understood.
"I'll close the windows. Give you some privacy." Nick said rising to accompany the elder Dean indoors.
"Sonvabitch." Dean muttered.
"Huh?" Sam raised his brows.
"I mean. I never thought of Pawpaw not knowing about when Mom died." Dean ran a hand over his jaw, "I guess I was the only eye witness. I'd told you I carried you out, but I never told any details, until one of my drawings prompted a talking session with Layla."
"You, you and Mom, saved my life Dean," Sam gave his brother a sighing smile. "Pawpaw is so proud of you, and you did a good thing there, telling him."
"I guess." Dean huffed.
Nick came out with fresh drinks. "Your Pawpaw is an amazing man," He said as he pulled his lawn chair close enough to hold Sam's hand.
"He is," Sam agreed.
"How are you holding up?" Dean asked.
"Besides Lola jabbing me with her elbow, I'm great. My BP is normal, well normal for me, and I'm home." Sam answered.
"There's flowers in your room and a huge bunch in the den." Dean said, "from Sarah, Jess and Ava. The weird bonsai thing with charms is from Balthazar."
Sam chuckled, "I'll have to look at that one."
Nick flicked his eyes upwards, "He dropped it into the restaurant. Told Lilith they are known healing charms, before trying his charms out on hir. They've a date next week."
"She'll devour him." Sam whooped.
"Who?" Pawpaw asked as he returned.
"Castiel's cousin has a date with Nick's trans bartender." Dean grinned. "How's grandpa?"
"He's fine." Pawpaw obviously didn't want to speak about the discussion with his husband, but his eyes were red-rimmed.
Nick cleared away their lunch remains while Dean took out his sketch pad to show Sam and Pawpaw what he had been working on. The latest works were really impressive. They were scenes from Bodega Harbor that had been quick line drawings. Dean was fleshing them out and re-working them in his spare time.
"You could sell these." Pawpaw said as he turned the page back and forth.
"Someone'd want to pay hard earned bucks for 'em?" Dean asked doubtfully.
"You bet." Sam replied.
"Definitely." Pawpaw added.
Dean huffed and went to put the pad away. Sam noticed the swagger to his walk with a private smile.
The day was catching up with Sam, but he was reluctant to make his excuses and leave the others.
When Nick came back out, Sam quipped, "I think I might go upstairs to my new kingdom."
"I'll come with you." Nick stood.
"It's the start of the Bed-In." Dean chuckled. "Who's John Lennon and who's Yoko Ono?"
"Sam's Yoko. His hair is longer." Nick joined in the fun.
"Yeah Yeah," Sam snorted, "Pick on the poor invalid."
"That should be Yeah Yeah Yeah." Pawpaw added with a smirk.
"Oh my God. This is surreal. I'm being teased with Beatles references by my Grandfather." Sam wheezed.
Nick linked his arm to take the stairs at an obligatory slow pace. He sang his own adaptation into Sam's ear, "I thought I lost my love, but I saw him yesterday, it's you I'm thinking of, and I know just what to say, I love you."
Sam twisted to peck Nick's cheek at his silly but adorable singing and to take the furtive chance to flip Dean the bird.
When they got to the bedroom Sam took a quick shower hoping it would lessen his fatigue but he stumbled as he emerged from the wet room. Strong arms surrounded him. He pressed his head into Nick's chest. Limp and drained, Nick held him up and without a word moved him to the bed. It was like Nick was his anchor.
"You're my port in a storm," Sam giggled with the hysteria of overtiredness.
"I hope that means I'm your safe harbor and not any port in a storm," Nick chuckled. He eased Sam down onto freshly laundered soft sheets. He slipped the pillow between Sam's knees and settled him on his left. Light kisses were pressed to Sam's lips. Sleepily Sam touched his lover's stubbled cheek and whispered an early goodnight.
Drifting and drowsy in the luxury of their huge bed, Sam snuggled into the light summer comforter. It was later when the mattress dipped and he felt Nick climb in behind him. He'd felt the lack of this intimacy over the past few nights. One night was too many to go without. Nick pressed their bodies flush together. Sam responded by pushing back against him. Spooned with Nick's hand stroking his flank and bump, Sam breathed, "Love you."
"Me too, my sweetheart, now go to sleep."
"Mmm, 'kay," Sam mumbled before doing just that.
++++++++++++++++++++++++SPNSPNSPN+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sam didn't mind that the bedroom was his center of operations. He followed Anna's advice and begrudgingly had to admit that the pamphlet Deb Rutherford had given to him was full of helpful tips to keep life interesting. It was early days. Sam had his partner and brother in attendance. Also he was glad to have these few days getting to know Dean Campbell. Saturday, the day of Pawpaw's departure, was rushing towards them too quickly.
Having his Pawpaw come check on him, bring him sandwiches, and sit with him on the terrace in the evening was a joy. They stuck to stories that lifted Sam's spirits. Pawpaw riffled through Nick's music collection and selected classic favorites to fill their home with Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald. There was an aura and a presence associated with the older man, a great majority of that was Pawpaw's warm personality and unconditional love for the boys he had lost. A portion too was something Sam had seen in movies and in school mates' homes. Dean was the one who named it. It was the sacred connection of Family with a capital F and Blood with a capital B.
Sam watched in fascination as Dean Campbell bustled around the house, magically making small chores vanish before Sam could begin to feel a twinge of guilt at having to leave them for the others. It was difficult to believe his Pawpaw was seventy four years old, until the gentleman would nod off to sleep in the armchair. He was constantly forgetting his walking cane and reading glasses, laughing heartily when Nick or Dean reunited him with them.
On Thursday afternoon Sam heard the distinctive rumble of the Impala announcing Dean's return from his appointment with Victor. Within moments Dean popped his head around the bedroom door.
"Pawpaw resting?"
"I guess so if he's not downstairs," Sam answered. "I got second helpings of Pawpaw's homemade tomato rice soup."
Dean clutched at his heart over-dramatically, "Thief."
Sam smirked and offered him the empty bowl and spoon to bring back to the kitchen.
"Hey Sammy. Can I use your laptop?"
Sam closed down the window, not really wanting Dean to see the Angel spoilers message board. Dean had gotten enough teasing material when he'd spotted Sam's 'Badass Wesley' boner during the last season.
"You only need to ask. Checking for Cas sent smooches?" Sam smacked his lips obscenely as he lifted the laptop tray towards Dean.
"So what if I miss my nerdy teacher?" Dean puffed, "Now Imma gonna delete all your vids of frolicking puppies and kittens tangled up in balls of twine."
"No way. Hand it back, Dee. They're for Lola."
"I was kidding," Dean sniggered, "Y'mean there are kitten videos? What folder?"
"Not telling."
"Ve haf vays of making you tok." Dean eyes popped.
"Geez, I'm quivering." Sam laughed.
Dean tapped on the keyboard for a moment, then blew a raspberry. "Huh."
"Is that a good huh or a bad huh?"
"I dunno." Dean scratched at the back of his neck.
"Spill."
"Aaron."
"Aaron Bass?" Sam squinted.
"No Aaron the freaking Yoda Jedi storm-trooper. Of course Aaron Bass."
Sam waited.
"He'll be in The States for Rosh Hashanah."
"Sydney'll be over the moon," Sam commented. "When's that?"
"Do I look like I know?" Dean said tetchily. "He wants to meet up before Yom Kippur."
"Do you want to meet him?" Sam asked slowly.
"How do I tell Cas?" Dean said as if he hadn't heard Sam's question.
"Just tell him."
"You crazy dude? Just tell him? Seriously?"
"Yeah Dean. Just tell him. Cas is cool."
Dean clicked his tongue, unconvinced.
"Dean you can't keep that a secret. It would hurt Cas."
"Might hurt him, me seeing Aaron."
"Worse if you do it behind his back. Telling him is the decent thing to do."
Dean hummed, "I'll think about it."
Sam sighed, hoping it was a case of Dean needing a little time to decide if he wanted to meet Aaron, and how to approach telling Castiel.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++SPNSPNSPN+++++++++++++++++++++++++
The following afternoon sounds of laughter and the beat of Led Zeppelin IV drifted up to Sam's bedroom. Dean and Pawpaw were cooking up a storm in preparation of Castiel's arrival that evening. Nick had gone into The Gates for the shift changeover to avoid World War 3 breaking out between Crowley and Alastair. Lola was doing a tribal rain-dance against Sam's stretched stomach muscles. Sam threw the Terry Pratchett, he was tired of reading, across the bedcovers. He was bored, uncomfortable, sore and feeling out of the loop. However he was under another set of instructions to stay at rest because he had a nosebleed that morning and as a result was told over the phone by Anna Milton to take it extra careful that day.
"A bird in a gilded cage," Sam muttered partially to himself and partially as a grouse to Lola. "Your Daddy is sick of this Lola Petal. I'm allowed to go downstairs and I'm damn well going."
He threw on soft lounge pants and his Cardinals hoodie. Descending the stairs slowly rather than stomping two steps at a time, Sam gained the advantage of arriving at the kitchen unnoticed. Steam and delicious aromas greeted him. Pawpaw had his sleeves rolled up and was wearing Nick's 'Kitchen Devil' apron. He was pressing a homemade pie crust into their large fluted tin. Dean was seated at the table, juicing lemons on the glass squeezing gadget.
"Sammy!" Dean's head shot up, "What ya doing up? You coudla shouted if you wanted something."
Dean jerked his thumb towards the baby monitor on the huge dresser. Nick had raided their Lola hoard for the monitor. Sam had shelved any indignity about making use of the device when he'd gone back to bed without his cell phone and had wanted to call Jess.
"As if you'd have heard me over Stairway to Heaven."
"I'd'a heard you." Dean protested with a grin that showed he knew Sam was ribbing him.
Sam pulled out the chair at the opposite end of the pine table, "What you making?"
"Baking," Pawpaw corrected, "My special Peach Pie."
"It's awesome." Dean added.
Pawpaw smiled indulgently, "You haven't tasted it yet."
"I'm a specialist. I can tell."
"I believe you." Pawpaw ruffled Dean's hair.
Sam snorted at Dean's surprised gape. Pawpaw kept moving, getting his warmed sugared peach slices off the stove and asking Dean to pour the lemon juice over them.
"Should you be up?" Dean tried again.
"You're not shooing me back to bed. I was bored. Monumentally bored." Sam pouted. "I'm not meant to use the stairs much and if I go back now, I'll have to come down again when Cas gets here."
"I see a flaw in your logic." Pawpaw pointed a spatula at him, "relating to descending at this time."
Sam did his best to look sheepish but he was too happy to be in the midst of things.
Pawpaw came over with a small bowl containing an egg. "Why don't you fork this up for the glaze, while Dean assists me with the pastry lattice?"
Whisking an egg made Sam feel foolishly useful. Pawpaw brought the perfectly lattice topped pie and a pastry brush over for Sam to coat the strips.
He took off the apron and replaced it on its hook. When the pie was in the oven he proudly declared, "Now we can say the pie was truly a family affair."
Dean looked like he was fit to burst with glee. When he came around to pass Sam on the way to wash his hands in the sink, Sam laughed loudly at all the flour on from the ends of his black tee and down his jeans. "Dude, did more flour end up on you than in the recipe?"
Dean looked down at the mess and attempted to pat some of it off. "First I did the pastry rolling, flour's a hazard. Second, there's no recipe."
Sam raised skeptical brows.
"Pawpaw made the sweet pastry using his hands as measuring cups."
The senior ducked his head, acknowledging Dean's truth.
"No way," Sam said, "Impressive Pawpaw."
"The bake will take the bones of an hour. Why don't we sit outside with some iced tea?" Pawpaw suggested.
Sam wasn't sure if iced tea was a diuretic but he wasn't going to pass up the chance to try a single glass made by Pawpaw.
They remained on the terrace as the afternoon cooled into early evening. Pawpaw had checked the pie just under the hour mark and declaring it done, left it to cool in the pantry. Nick returned and took control of the kitchen to prepare the main course of their last dinner together.
Dean had kicked off his boots and was leaning back on the two-seater with a long necked beer when Castiel's Ford Taurus pulled into the property.
Leaping to his feet, Dean crowed, "He's early."
Castiel must have left immediately after his final class of the week, a fact confirmed by his rumpled dark suit, white shirt and askew blue tie. Dean threw himself bodily around the startled teacher, pushing him back against the open driver's door of his car, running his hand though Castiel's dark hair and sharing repeated kisses.
"That's Cas." Sam informed their grandfather redundantly. "Anyone would think Dean hadn't seen him for a year."
Dean practically pulled Castiel by their linked hands onto the terrace. He cleared his throat and stood tall. "Pawpaw this is my partner Castiel Fletcher. Cas this is my Pawpaw Dean Campbell."
"Very pleased to meet you Sir." Castiel leaned forward with his hand extended.
Pawpaw clasped both of his around it, "As am I."
"We've got pie." Dean blurted.
Sam laughed and shook his head slowly.
Nick appeared leaning against the frame of the open windows with his arms crossed. "Dinner first. Pie later."
Dean slumped in defeat. "Good God, Sam he's gonna be a great Dad."
Nick puffed up like a peacock at that remark. He came over and shook Castiel's hand. "Welcome back Cas. How is the school?"
Cas removed his jacket and sank into the two-seater, patting beside him for Dean to retake the spot he had recently vacated. "Tough but brilliant. Brilliant but tough. They handed back their first homework assignments this week. I burned the midnight oil doing corrections. I've learned my lesson about spacing out the submission days for different classes."
Pawpaw nodded in amusement. "I remember it well. Mind you I taught the youngest grades. Dean tells me you are teaching honors chemistry and AP physics."
Cas sneaked a glance at Dean. "I have freshmen to seniors of all abilities, including the sophomore biology class that clashed with Inias's schedule."
"Inias is Cas's friend that I told you about," Dean volunteered, "He's the social science and biology teacher."
"Do you like the school?" Pawpaw asked.
"I do," Castiel leaned forward , "It is not too big. Not overwhelming for my first school after graduation. Everyone has been very welcoming. I think Dean and I will enjoy living in Bodega Bay for a long time."
Pawpaw smiled. "I'm glad to hear that. And it is great to have another teacher in the family."
Dean beamed at Castiel's inclusion in Pawpaw's definition of family. Sam beckoned Dean over and whispered to him. "I think Cas is a hit."
"Me too," Dean replied, "Honest to God I wasn't worried. I mean Cas is awesome, of course Pawpaw was gonna love him."
"Can I get a hand with the table?" Nick called from inside, "Not Sam!"
Castiel and Dean both rose to go but Pawpaw asked Cas to stay.
"I got this." Dean said, heading in to assist Nick.
"Cas," Sam spoke up, "before I forget. Thank you. You really came through with Stanford. You cut through it all so I only had to get that form submitted."
"It was nothing."
Sam wasn't having that. "It wasn't. It meant a lot, and my advisor Mr. Wyatt came to see me in the hospital on the back of your phone call."
"He was very concerned when I spoke with him." Castiel said.
"You helped take a weight off Sam's mind." Pawpaw smiled. "Castiel, could we have a word? You don't mind Sam being here?"
"No." Cas replied with a hint of wariness.
"Tell me. You and Dean have moved in together. And you speak of the long term. Do I have any need to worry about your commitment to my grandson?"
Castiel licked his lips. He leaned forward and spoke with intensity, "I love him. He is everything. I never knew how lost I was without him until we met."
Pawpaw patted his hand. "That's all I wanted to know. Thank you. Now I think I hear my elder grandson hollering about our meal being ready. Shall we?"
"I could eat a horse." Sam said as he rose from the recliner. He offered Pawpaw his arm.
"I had a ham sandwich at recess." Castiel commented, "You could say I have a healthy appetite tonight. We could give Dean a run for his money."
Sam chuckled, "Naw, Cas. Forget it. There's pie."
Before the pie there was a huge warmed serving dish of Nick's juicy ragu. The rich sauce was tossed with fresh taglietelle, handmade by Baldur and purloined by the restaurant owner. Bowls of freshly grated Parmesan and a long baguette of garlic bread sat to each side of the ragu. It was delicious, so much so that conversation was limited to small talk and Nick's dilemma of which manager had seniority during his absence.
Sam used the last piece of buttery garlic bread to mop up the smears of sauce. He leaned sideways, pecking Nick's cheek in thanks.
Dean Campbell placed his knife and fork neatly on his empty plate. He nodded toward Nick. "My compliments to the chef."
"It was a simple ragu." Nick waved his hand over the table.
"It was delicious." Castiel inclined his head in agreement.
"Very tasty," Pawpaw added, "And nice to learn that Sam has found a partner who can cook."
"Is that a comment about Grandpa?" Sam asked, as he raised his glass of soda.
"Man cannot boil an egg." Pawpaw grinned, "but my own Poppa said I spoiled him."
"Was…?" Sam's eyes widened as he joined the dots, "Did you have two Dads too?"
"You never?" Dean gasped. "Why didn't I remember that?"
"You were only a kid, Deanie. I might have told you bedtime stories about my Dads but there were lots of family tales. And I simply thought I must have mentioned them already. Please forgive my senior moments. I forget how little you know." Pawpaw took a sip of the Valpolicella that Nick had matched with the ragu. "My parents had a bakery in downtown Lawrence. Controversially and scandalously they were the only local carrier couple of their generation. You understand? Poppa and Dad were both carriers. Poppa was my birth parent. Dad carried my older siblings Eddie and Sally. We all worked in the bakery. It was quite a conundrum for the town prudes. Who should they condemn for not being a homemaker when Poppa and Dad shared everything?"
"That's amazing." Castiel commented. "To think that way back then, they were open about who they were?"
"Yes they were." Pawpaw said wistfully. "Everyone, neighbors, school friends, knew they were carriers. They faced problems about being different, being other. But Pops and Dad were brave proud men, and during the harsh times of the Depression people had more to be worried about than which baker was pregnant. Also Poppa had two Dads and a long family history of carriers with loving positive and negative hateful stories down through the generations."
"For real?" Sam asked.
"Oh yes. We have ancestors who were driven from their villages, even killed. But also ones who stowed away on a ship to the New World to be together."
"Are there any cousins Sam could meet from your side of the family?" Nick enquired.
Pawpaw's face fell, "My brother Eddie died at Iwo Jima. Sally never married. She passed in 1981 but I have a photograph at home of her holding Deanie."
"I'm sorry." Sam whispered.
"I'd love to see that photograph." Castiel smiled tenderly at Dean.
"I bet I'm all pudgy and red cheeked." Dean huffed.
Pawpaw laughed, "You were a darling. If I remember Sally tried to remove your binky for the shot and you sucked so hard on it she gave up."
"Stop." Dean yelped.
"Now I must see it." Castiel grinned.
"I can have a copy made." Pawpaw offered. "When I get home I will go through my albums and make up a collection that I can gift each of you. After all there'll be another generation to look back at their ancestors soon."
Sam placed his hand on his bump, imagining showing little Lola all the pictures of her family. Photos were precious things. He had cherished and guarded his few of Dean during his teenage years. Maybe one of his bedrest projects could be sourcing a high quality album online. He would enjoy organizing and transferring the new photos from Kansas, his treasured ones, and the new favorites taken since he came to California. He'd purchase a thick book so he could leave plenty of pages for future occasions.
"It must have been difficult to lose your brother and sister." Dean said sympathetically to his grandfather.
"Life is full of losses and gains." Pawpaw said sagely. "I think we are in a gain time now. And there were always plenty of Campbell cousins to fill the family home."
"Are there any carriers on that side of the family?" Sam asked.
Pawpaw shook his head. "No, but I wasn't surprised when Dean told me you are both carriers, especially when you consider the rumors about Henry."
"Excuse me? Who?" Sam asked, "Henry Campbell?"
"Henry Winchester. Ran off in the night. It was said he'd married John's mother under family and church pressure to deny his biology, and there was talk that he didn't leave with nowhere to go."
"Oh my God." Sam was goggle eyed. He could see Nick had paused with his glass midway to his lips. Dean had frozen too.
"That's awful." Castiel spoke. "Some families cannot accept having a gay or a carrier son."
"Tragic." Pawpaw agreed. "I can't imagine how terrible it must be to have to deny your identity. I know you boys had to hide it from John for your own safety."
"But to be forced to marry a woman." Sam shuddered. "I know many men, carriers or not, never come out of the closet. And some carriers are bisexual like Dean, or some prefer women. But I can't imagine. God, if that is true, I bet Dad knew. That was why he was always banging on about 'sissy dads', derogatory abusive crap about carriers, and his speech of chimps living in trees."
"His what, Son?"
Dean answered, his voice dropping an octave in imitation of their father, "Just because we can climb trees doesn't mean we have to live in them like chimps." He inhaled deeply, "All that BS about male carriers procreating with women and ignoring biology."
"Ah-ha. I see. Complete hogwash."
"It was." Sam huffed.
"Damn right." Dean added.
Castiel stretched his hand across to grab Dean's fingers. Sam could see Pawpaw's almost imperceptible nod of approval at Cas's supportive gesture.
"Enough talk of John Winchester." Nick declared, "It will make the cream sour."
"Pie!" Dean remembered and dashed to the pantry.
Pawpaw produced a bowl of freshly whipped cream and served them each a generous portion. Sam moaned almost as much as Dean around mouthfuls of the delicious treat, redolent with brown sugar and spices. The pastry melted in Sam's mouth as his taste buds rang with the sweet juices and the cool luxurious cream.
"You know Dean," Sam said between bites, "I think Imma having my first pie-orgasm."
"Welcome on board," Dean smirked. Sam thought that's what his brother said with his mouth full and hand reaching for the cake-slice to lift a second generous piece of pie onto his plate.
While Nick cleared the table, and Sam twisted his fingers at being banned from helping, Pawpaw changed the subject to how Sam was coping with the pregnancy. They adjourned to the den so Sam could recline on the sofa. Dean and Castiel helped clear up while grandson and grandfather compared notes on indigestion and the growing pressure on Sam's bladder. Pawpaw chuckled knowingly at the last remark, telling him that the crude saying 'as squashed as a carrier's bladder' was true. In the final trimester male carriers needed to be continually aware of the nearest restroom according to Pawpaw.
When they were all reunited with a tray of coffees and a hot chocolate for Sam, Nick dimmed the lights and put a Rat Pack compilation CD on for background noise. He grazed Sam's forehead with his lips. Then he offered to top up the coffees with Baileys or Hennessy.
"You know I honestly am not a big drinker," Pawpaw dipped his head towards the Baileys. "Your partner's cocktails and ideas are too tempting."
"You are on a vacation of sorts Dean." Nick allayed any protest, "Allow me to treat you. I make a mean Irish Coffee too, but we used up all the cream with the Castiel Welcome Pie."
With a rocking laugh Dean Winchester poked Castiel in the ribs, "That's it. Pawpaw's Peach Pie is gonna be known as Castiel Welcome Pie forevermore."
"I will have one warm from the oven on the day you both come to Kansas to visit." Pawpaw promised.
"I'd love that." Dean looked towards the ceiling for a moment. "I'd take Cas to Lawrence and show him where I was born."
Sam gulped. "I wish Dad had left us there. Y'know I used to think he dragged us around like a bag of stones slung over his shoulder because there was nothing or no-one else to take us, and he always threatened that CPS would split us up and send Dean to a home. But there was somewhere for us. Our grandparents wanted us."
"Sammy," Dean choked, "No point wishing on the past."
"Geez, Dean, when I think of all the nights we went hungry, couldn't sleep from the cold, the sound of his belt hitting you. Why? Just why?" Sam sobbed, feeling the pressure of Lola moving, "How could he do that to his own children?"
Nick pulled Sam into a hug, permitting him to bury his nose in the warm skin of his love's neck.
"Son," Pawpaw intoned with his hand pressed against his heart, "There is no fathoming John Winchester. You could twist yourself into knots attempting to."
"I know," Sam sagged further against Nick. "I'm real sorry for being a downer on your last night here."
"Shush, now. Don't talk trash. We're all a tad emotional."
"I think I want to go to bed," Sam whispered to Nick. He was drained. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be." Castiel said. "I came here thinking we'd all be eating out of cartons around your bed."
That was an obvious exaggeration but Sam was grateful for the remark.
Dean asked if he wanted anything brought up with him. Sam shook his head. He pocketed his cell phone off the table. Nick would bring up a carafe of water. Everything else was waiting in the room.
Pawpaw kissed Sam's forehead goodnight and said "You go and lie down nice and quiet-like. That little girl is not ready to come into the world. She's nice and snug in her Daddy's belly. You've got to hold on to her for another couple months."
"I will."
"I know you can do it." The older man nodded, "You're a good boy Sam. You'll take care of her and cherish her, and when she arrives your life will change in the most wonderful way. I promise."
"I believe you."
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++SPNSPNSPN++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Pawpaw was leaving. His bag was packed and sitting by the door. The day was cloudy. Earlier had been fine. Sam had taken his Pawpaw for a short stroll on the sands, before Dean made a blast of cinnamon and syrup drenched French toast. Now rain threatened as if the weather was matching the Winchesters' mood. Sam had remained on the sofa storing up the precious last minutes with his grandfather. Dean headed into Pacifica to fill up the Impala's tank. Castiel, in the Taurus, would follow Dean and Pawpaw to the airport before their two car convoy continued on to Bodega Bay.
Sam excused himself from Pawpaw, Nick and Castiel to use the downstairs restroom and get a glass of iced water. Dean had left the baby monitor on the kitchen dresser from when he had been cooking and Sam had lain on the couch post-walk.
"I wanted to talk to you before I leave," Dean Senior's voice came through the monitor. "Both of you boys."
Sam froze. It was like eavesdropping, but he couldn't help listening.
"Nick, Castiel, I have seen my grandsons with you both and the affection between them and you. I want to know your intentions towards them."
A puff of air blew out of Sam's lungs at his grandfather's bluntness.
Both Cas and Nick jumped in, speaking over each other to say they loved their partners.
Dean Campbell hummed, "I believe you but let me tell you that love is not enough."
The unspoken history of Mary Campbell and John Winchester being in love and marrying over her father Samuel's protests weighed on Sam's chest.
"For almost twenty years I woke every morning with an ache in my heart wondering where Deanie and Sam were and if they were alright and if John Winchester was treating them like the princes they are. And every day I knew deep inside that it wasn't so, because if it was, he would have allowed the boys to be in our lives. I won't rehash the bitter cruel words that were exchanged after Mary's funeral but when John left Lawrence, he stole our family and the future we wanted Dean and Sam to have." He paused to wet his throat. No-one spoke until he continued. "We tried private investigators, the church, CPS, everything… until it wore me down and Samuel had to, what do you young people call it?... Stage an intervention before I broke down completely, but I never gave up that kernel of hope… I can see the questions in your eyes. Why am I telling you this? It is partly a warning not to hurt them, but it is also to tell you that you never know what life will bring. Samuel and I have been married for over fifty years. We've fought. He can be a cranky demanding sonvabitch and I can be a moany whiny bastard. Mary was the light of our lives. When that light went out and we lost the boys too, it was the hardest road we had to travel, but I never doubted Samuel's support and we are each other's rock. My question is, will you be there when the 'shit hits the fan', when the storm comes, when businesses fail, when your children rebel, when life seems monotonous and the days long?"
Castiel's graveled deep tone said a simple, "Yes."
Then Sam's heart leapt as he heard a break in his Nick's voice, "We're facing a storm now. A slow brewing one. I promise you, Mr. Campbell, that I am not turning away from Sam, no matter what. I can't bear to think of losing Lola, but if we end this year in mourning instead of in joy, my arm will still be around Sam's waist. After many years I found him. I don't care about being sappy, Sam is my soul mate, the one. I'd do anything for him."
"And I for Dean." Castiel said.
Sam picked up the monitor receiver and moved across the hall back to the den. Blinking back his tears, which must have been hormonal, Sam placed the monitor reverently into Nick's hands. "I heard everything. And right back at ya."
Nick beamed, putting the monitor aside.
Castiel and Pawpaw smiled indulgently at them.
"You heard everything?" Nick double checked with hands spread in a gesture of open embarrassed apology, or seeking of acceptance.
"You are a sap." Sam punched his open-mouthed partner in the arm, "But you're my sap."
"What did I miss?" Dean asked, swinging the Impala keys around his finger.
"Nothing," Castiel said coming to wrap him in a hug, "But how much I love you."
Dean bopped his head and dragged out his first word, "Ri-ight. I go out for ten minutes and this whole house turns click flick."
"That's right." Sam grinned.
"And sappy. Don't forget sappy." Nick added.
"You young people have done me a powerful good." Pawpaw laughed. "I feel ten years younger. Samuel won't recognize me at arrivals."
That was the moment Sam treasured, rather than the heart tugging, tight hugging teary goodbye that followed. It was a scene to be remembered in soft focus. Pawpaw with crinkles of happiness on his face, Dean smiling with his head on Castiel's shoulder, and Nick relaxed and contented after all their stress. This was the home and the family where he would be proud and fortunate to raise his daughter.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++SPNSPNSPN+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++