Chapter 26.
Santana woke up with Brittany's warm body still curled up around her from behind. The brunette smiled and placed her hand on Brittany's arm that was draped over her waist, gently rubbing the skin. Brittany let out a small, content sigh at the contact and pulled her even closer, burying her face in Santana's dark locks. Santana's smile widened. She loved seeing Brittany like this, adorable and sleepy, her mind free from any worries.
She would've been content to stay in this position for hours longer but her bladder seemed to have other plans. She carefully untangled herself from Brittany's arms and slipped out of bed. Brittany let out a grumble of protest and her hands unconsciously patted the empty space beside her, looking for her girlfriend. Santana watched her in adoration before leaning down to press a soothing kiss to her cheek. Brittany's furrowed brow evened out as she drifted off into a more peaceful sleep.
When Santana returned from her bathroom visit, she quietly climbed into bed again, this time lying face-to-face with Brittany. She lifted her hand to gently brush the hair out of Brittany's face before placing a light kiss on the blonde's lips. Brittany stirred and a moment later, tired blue eyes slowly fluttered open.
"Good morning." Santana whispered, smiling as Brittany struggled to keep her eyes open. She gently stroked her thumb down Brittany's jaw and over the corner of her mouth. Brittany's eyes squeezed tighter before they opened again and Santana leaned in to delicately kiss the tip of her nose. "Happy anniversary."
Brittany's eyes lit up and her lips curled up into a lazy smile. "Happy anniversary."
Santana felt butterflies in her stomach at the loving sound of Brittany's voice. They stared into each other's eyes for a while, bright blue into warm brown, as if they were having a silent conversation. Brittany started to lean in closer and their lips lightly brushed together until Santana applied more pressure, capturing Brittany's bottom lip between her own and sucking gently.
They pulled back and Santana slowly ran the back of her hand over Brittany's slightly flushed cheek, smiling softly. "I can't believe we've been together for a year."
"I know." Brittany whispered, giving her another sweet peck on the lips. "It feels like I've known you forever."
Before Santana had the chance to respond, Brittany wrapped her arms around her waist and rolled them over, effectively pulling Santana on top of her. A squeal escaped Santana's lips before she could stop it and she rested her head on Brittany's shoulder, their legs tangling together. Brittany brushed Santana's hair aside and tenderly kissed her cheek. Santana smiled a bit. "Britt, what are you doing?"
"I just felt like holding you for a while." Brittany told her innocently. "Is that okay?"
Santana felt her heart expand in her chest. She sighed happily and nuzzled her nose against the side of Brittany's neck, inhaling her scent. Brittany slipped her hand underneath the brunette's t-shirt and gently stroked her back, rubbing small circles into the warm skin. They didn't say anything for a long time, both simply enjoying being with each other.
Brittany's heart was fluttering rapidly within her chest, bursting with the amount of love she felt for the woman in her arms. It was a love so strong, so pure, that it was almost scary. She had been so lonely after her accident and then when she had least expected it, Santana had come along and filled up the hole in her heart that had ached for such a terrible long time. Santana's body molded around hers so naturally, as if they were made to fit, and Brittany never wanted to let her go.
"Baby?" Santana called out softly, kissing the underside of Brittany's jaw. Brittany blinked slowly and made a noise of acknowledgement. Santana pulled back slightly to meet ocean blue eyes that were clouded over with emotion and she frowned. "What were you thinking about?"
Brittany's hand came to a rest on the small of Santana's back as she blushed and shyly stared back at her. "About you." She admitted quietly. Santana grinned, causing her dimples to show, and Brittany averted her gaze. Santana's hands traveled down her sides and an involuntary giggle left Brittany's lips when the brunette began to tickle her. "San!"
"You're such a dork." Santana teased, watching in amusement as Brittany squirmed beneath her, trying to move away from her hands. It wasn't until Brittany's face started to color a deep shade of red that Santana decided to take pity on her girlfriend and ceased her tickle attack. She gave Brittany a moment to catch her breath before pressing a light kiss to her lips. "A ridiculously cute dork."
Brittany smiled and her eyes held so much love that it was Santana's turn to blush.
"What are we doing today?"
"It's a surprise." Santana told her with a smirk, her fingers lightly tracing the outline of Brittany's features. Brittany's brow furrowed as she prepared herself to protest but Santana stopped her with a firm kiss to the lips. "Don't even bother. I'm not telling you anything."
"But babe…" Brittany whined pathetically. "The suspense is already killing me!"
Santana chuckled. "Dramatic much?"
Brittany's lips formed into a pout. "Fine. I have a surprise for you too anyway."
"You do?" Santana asked curiously, her attention perking up. Brittany nodded and Santana narrowed her eyes in thought. "What kind of surprise?"
"I'm not telling you anything." Brittany recited Santana's earlier words. Her smile faltered slightly as a flash of doubt suddenly crossed her face and she glanced away, suddenly looking a little scared and nervous. Santana's face twisted in concern at the unexpected change in mood and she gently cupped Brittany's cheek, encouraging her to continue. Brittany licked her lips before adding, "I-I hope you'll like it."
"I'm sure I will." Santana tried to reassure her, even though she couldn't possibly know.
Brittany bit her lip and nodded slowly. "How late are we leaving?"
"Not until around dinner time." Santana replied as she rested her chin on Brittany's chest, looking up at her with a small smile on her face. She could feel Brittany's heart beating faster than usual and she placed her hand on the area, rubbing gently. "What's wrong, Britt?"
"Nothing." Brittany mumbled unconvincingly.
Santana eyed her skeptically but decided not to say anything. She touched Brittany's cheek and Brittany leaned into her hand as she pulled her into a sweet kiss, gently nibbling on her bottom lip, before pulling away. "I love you."
Brittany couldn't stop the smile that appeared on her face. "I love you too."
"Babe are you ready?" Santana asked as she made her way towards the bedroom. They had spent the day in bed, enjoying each other's company in more ways than one, and Santana couldn't wait to show Brittany what she had planned for the evening. A smile lit up her face when she found Brittany standing in front of the mirror. "You look beautiful."
The blonde was wearing a knee-length skirt with a white top and a pair of black heels. Her hair fell in waves over her shoulder and light makeup complimented her delicate features. She turned around at the sound of Santana's voice and looked down at herself, nervously twisting her hands together in front of her. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." Santana said confidently, closing the distance between them. "Absolutely beautiful."
Brittany let out a breath and a smile formed on her lips as her eyes scanned up and down Santana's body. "You don't look half bad yourself."
She was wearing a dark blue form fitting dress that ended mid-thigh, a pair of heels, and her hair was pulled up into a neat ponytail. Santana smiled at Brittany's words and leaned in to kiss her. She could sense that Brittany was nervous, although she had no idea why, so she took the blonde's hand in her own and laced their fingers together.
She pulled back and tucked a strand of hair behind her girlfriend's ear. "Are you sure you want to wear a skirt? I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."
"I don't feel uncomfortable around you." Brittany told her softly. "Just tell me one thing… are you taking me to a crowded place?"
"Not at all." Santana replied, causing Brittany to let out a sigh of relief. She smiled and gently kissed the corner of Brittany's mouth. "Are you ready to go?"
Brittany nodded and allowed Santana to lead her out of the bedroom. They both grabbed a jacket before leaving the apartment and started to make their way towards the car. Santana quickly walked around the vehicle to open the door for Brittany. The taller girl squeezed her hand in silent appreciation before letting go of it and sliding into the passenger's seat.
Santana took a seat behind the wheel and flashed Brittany a small smile before starting the engine.
After a short drive, the car came to a stop and Santana turned in her seat to face Brittany. She leaned forward to press a chaste kiss to the blonde's lips before whispering, "Close your eyes."
"Why?"
"Just do it, Britt." Santana smiled.
Brittany looked at her for a moment before reluctantly doing as she had been told. Santana got out of the car and made her way over to Brittany's door. She opened it and reached for Brittany's hand, giving it a soft squeeze in reassurance. Once they were both steadily standing on the pavement, Santana moved to stand behind Brittany and reached up to cover her girlfriend's eyes with her hands.
"I wasn't going to open my eyes." Brittany protested with a small smile.
Santana kissed her shoulder. "I'm just making sure."
As Santana carefully guided Brittany's steps, Brittany could hear the sound of water coming closer. Her brow furrowed in curiosity, her fingers curled around Santana's wrists for no other reason than that she felt like holding onto her in some way or another, as they continued to walk slowly. Finally, they slowed down to a stop and Santana pressed a kiss just below Brittany's ear. "Ready?"
"Yes." Brittany told her quickly, barely able to contain her excitement. Santana removed her hands and Brittany blinked a few times before taking in her surroundings. They were standing on a dock, overlooking water on which boats were lined up. Brittany looked at Santana in confusion. "You own a boat?"
Santana shook her head and took the blonde's hand in her own. "Quinn's father owns a yacht and he allowed me to borrow it for the night." Brittany smiled softly in adoration and Santana brought her hand to her lips, kissing her palm. "Come on, let me show you."
Brittany nodded and let Santana lead the way. They climbed aboard and Brittany's eyes wandered around curiously. There was a table set for two, red rose petals covered the floor and music played softly in the background. It was beautiful.
"This is amazing, San." She whispered in awe, tightening her hold on Santana's hand. "Thanks for bringing me here."
"I thought it'd be romantic." Santana said with a shrug, suddenly feeling a little shy.
"I love it." Brittany told her brightly, pulling her closer.
They made their way over to the table and Santana held Brittany's chair out for her, waiting patiently until she was seated before dropping a kiss on the top of her head. She walked away and returned with two tall glasses of champagne, handing one to Brittany and setting the other one down on the table. As Santana disappeared into the kitchen again, Brittany let out a dreamy sigh. She couldn't be more in love with the brunette. Her heartbeat sped up slightly when she thought about what she had planned for tonight. She hoped that she wasn't about to ruin everything between them.
"Perfect timing." Santana's voice brought her back to reality. She watched as Santana carried in two plates of food and placed them on the table. "Let's hope it tastes as good as it looks."
"Who made this?" Brittany wondered as Santana sat down next to her.
"Berry." Santana replied simply. Brittany shot her a strange look and she quickly explained. "What? She overheard my conversation with Quinn and offered to help out." She paused for a second before adding, "I've come to the conclusion that she's kind of nice. Annoying as hell but nice."
"I'm glad." Brittany said softly, placing her hand on Santana's knee.
As they clinked glasses, Santana said, "To our first year together and hopefully many more to come."
Brittany offered her a small smile, her stomach churning with newfound nerves, before she took a mouthful of champagne, swallowing hard. She picked up her fork but accidently dropped it as a result of how badly her hands had started to shake. "Sorry." She blushed, rubbing the back of her neck. "I… I'll go get another one."
"Britt wait." Santana stopped her, covering her hand with her own. Brittany's entire body language had changed and she even seemed to be sweating a little. Santana tilted her head in concern. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah." Brittany tried to speak as calmly as possible. She didn't want her nerves to ruin the evening when Santana had put so much effort into making things perfect. She shook her head at herself and flashed Santana a reassuring smile. "I just need to use the bathroom."
Santana hesitated for a moment but then nodded and removed her hand. Brittany pecked her on the cheek before getting up and walking to the other side of the yacht. In the bathroom, she took some time to get her thoughts back in order and splashed some water into her face to calm herself down. She took a few deep breaths to try and get rid of her nerves before she exited the bathroom and returned to Santana's side, grabbing a new fork on her way back.
They chatted lightly over dinner, teasing and feeding each other, stealing sweet kisses every now and then. As the night went on, Brittany could feel her nerves getting worse but she tried not to let it show. When they were finished eating, Santana took Brittany's hand in her own. "I want to show you something."
She continued to hold Brittany's hand as she led her up to the deck of the ship. It was already dark outside and stars illuminated the sky. Brittany sighed happily and turned her head to place a kiss on Santana's temple. "It's beautiful."
Santana smiled as they cuddled on a bench in the corner, a blanket draped over them. She wrapped her arm around Brittany's waist and the blonde rested her head on her shoulder in response. "You make me so happy, Britt." She whispered, squeezing Brittany's waist in affection. "I'm so proud of you."
"Why?" Brittany asked quietly.
"You've gotten so much better." Santana explained. A blush immediately crept up Brittany's face and Santana gently nudged her girlfriend's cheek with her nose. "Don't blush, babe. It's something to be proud of. You've come so far. You're finally talking about the accident, your nightmares have gotten so much better, and you're following your dreams."
"I couldn't have done it without you." Brittany said, playing with Santana's fingers in her lap. "I'm so lucky to have you."
Santana nuzzled her nose into Brittany's hair. "Believe me, I'm the lucky one."
"You made me smile when I was upset, you stayed with me through everything, and I'm so incredibly grateful for that." Brittany paused, getting teary-eyed as her emotions took over. "It'll always be hard but at least I know I'm not alone."
Santana cupped Brittany's chin and tilted her face up to capture her lips in a kiss. Brittany sighed into the kiss and melted into Santana's arms, parting her lips to allow the brunette access. They kissed for a few moments until Brittany pulled back, looking into Santana's eyes. "I'm proud of you too." She said softly.
"You are?" Santana asked, the corners of her mouth pulling upwards.
"Of course I am." Brittany replied, squeezing Santana's hand. "I know how difficult it is for you to talk about the situation with your parents. You told me that being around Andrea brings back a lot of memories and I'm so glad that you're not letting those memories scare you away." She pressed a gentle kiss to the back of Santana's hand. "You deserve all the happiness in the world, San, and your parents shouldn't get to ruin that for you."
Santana's throat constricted, lungs momentarily forgetting how to draw in air, and she dropped her eyes to her lap. Brittany always seemed to know her better than she knew herself. Not knowing what to say, Santana pulled Brittany against her again, giving her a kiss on the cheek.
They sat there in silence for a while, watching the night sky, until Santana finally spoke up. "Have you heard anything from Marley lately?"
Brittany nodded slowly. "She told me that Zach's in anger management therapy."
"That's good." Santana said, pursing her lips in thought. "Let's hope he'll stick with it."
Brittany placed a kiss on the side of her neck. "I don't really want to think about him right now, babe."
"Okay." Santana agreed, trailing her fingers up and down Brittany's arm distractedly. She sighed and tried to steer the conversation in a different direction. "Is it time for my surprise yet?"
Brittany stiffened in her arms. Her heartbeat sped up again, this time beating loudly in her ears, as fear settled in her stomach. She licked her suddenly dry lips and replied in a shaky voice. "Now?"
"If you want to." Santana told her gently. Brittany pulled away from her and she frowned worriedly when she saw how pale Brittany suddenly looked, as if she had seen a ghost. "Hey, what's wrong?"
"N-Nothing." Brittany stuttered, her hand anxiously rubbing her arm. She took a calming breath and turned to face Santana, looking at her nose to avoid her eyes. "I was going to wait with my surprise until we got home since I didn't know where you were taking me but I guess I can give it to you now." She rambled nervously. "Maybe I should've prepared things better to make it more romantic but it was kind of a spontaneous plan and you already made things as perfect as they could possibly get so… Tina helped me with it and she said that you'll like it but then again she couldn't possibly know for sure and-"
"Whoa, slow down." Santana interrupted her, narrowing her eyes in concern. "There's no need to be so nervous, honey. I'm sure I'll love it, whatever it is."
"I'm not so sure of that." Brittany whispered, an almost pained expression on her face. Her eyes darted around before she suddenly got to her feet. "I left my purse at the table."
Before Santana had the chance to respond, Brittany was already walking away. The brunette pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she tried to figure out what her girlfriend could possibly be so nervous about. She didn't have much time to think about it because Brittany returned, looking even more terrified than before, clutching her purse so tightly that her knuckles turned white.
"Brittany…" Santana said softly, getting to her feet as well. Whatever it was that her girlfriend had planned, it couldn't be worth getting this worked up over.
Brittany's wide eyes followed Santana as she slowly moved closer to her. All her doubts and fears came rushing back to the surface, twisting her stomach into knots. Her nerves were unbearable and she momentarily regretted telling Santana about her surprise because now she couldn't back out anymore. Her blood was pounding in her ears, making her head spin, and her voice came out in a shaky whisper. "I think I'm going to be sick."
She suddenly dropped her purse and lurched forward, dry heaving over the railing. Her throat strained even as nothing came out. Santana quickly moved to stand behind her girlfriend, brushing her hair back with one hand and placing her other hand on her stomach.
"Jesus Christ, Britt." She muttered, slipping her hand under Brittany's top and rubbing small circles over her bare skin. "I've never seen you this nervous before. Are you sure your surprise is a good thing? Because you're starting to scare me a little."
"I'm sorry." Brittany said softly, slowly turning around in Santana's arms. She swallowed thickly and took a moment to compose herself. She couldn't believe she was already ruining things by being such a nervous wreck. The love that Santana's eyes held gave her the confidence not to run away and she reached out to take the brunette's hand in her own. She smiled sheepishly. "Don't worry. I'm fine. Just being silly."
"That's kind of hard to believe right now." Santana said skeptically, giving Brittany's hand a soft squeeze. "I'm not sure what's happening but we can just forget about this whole thing and go back to what we were doing if that would make you feel better."
"No, it's okay." Brittany replied with a stubborn shake of her head. "I can do this."
"Do what?" Santana asked, growing more confused by the second.
"I think you might've saved my life." Brittany blurted out, completely ignoring Santana's question.
Santana tilted her head. "What do you mean?"
"I was so sad after the accident but then you came along and made everything better." She paused and took a deep breath in preparation. She wasn't good with words and didn't want to turn into a rambling mess again. "From the moment I met you, I knew that you were special but I didn't think you would make this much of a difference in my life. You made me happy again, something I never thought I would be again, and I was falling for you before I even realized it was happening. When I finally did, I was terrified. I was terrified that I wasn't good enough for you, that you wouldn't want to be with me. You somehow managed to get me to open up to you, which I surprised myself with."
"Why?" Santana whispered, tears glimmering in her eyes.
"Because my initial reaction was to push you away. To run and never look back." Brittany explained with a helpless shrug of her shoulders. "But when I saw the look in your eyes that night, I just knew that I couldn't not try."
Santana offered her a small, watery smile. "I'm so glad you did."
"You weren't freaked out by everything I told you. Instead you held me and took care of me. That's when I knew that I never wanted to be without you. I couldn't survive without you." Brittany paused again, hesitating for a moment before letting go of Santana's hand. "You made me see that I was worth it. You gave me the courage to follow my dreams. You gave me a reason to get the help that I needed."
Santana was stunned to silence, too emotional to think.
"And you're such an amazing person, Santana. Every time I look at you I can't help but fall for you a little bit more. You're so beautiful. Your eyes, your smile… You're so passionate, funny, kind. And so incredibly strong too. I want to be there for you forever. I want to protect you, hold you, listen to you, for the rest of my life… You're the one."
Santana's eyes widened in shock when Brittany reached into her purse and pulled out a small, black box. Her breath hitched in her throat when Brittany dropped down onto one knee and she covered her mouth with her hand. "Britt..."
"I know that this is crazy because we've only been together for a year but you're the love of my life. I've never been more certain of anything." Brittany looked up at Santana, her eyes filled with sincerity. Slowly, she opened the box with shaky hands, revealing a simple but beautiful ring. "Santana, will you be crazy with me? Will you marry me?"
Santana allowed her tears to run freely. Brittany looked so vulnerable, staring up at her with those big blue eyes, and her heart clenched uncomfortably. "Britt..." She started and Brittany's face fell. "I can't."
Brittany's hand that was holding the box started to tremble uncontrollably as tears abruptly sprang to her eyes. "I-I…" She stammered, heat spreading across her cheeks. "It's too soon, isn't it? I-I'm so stupid. I'm sorry, Santana. Please don't… don't be mad at me."
"Hey, no that's not how it is." Santana reached down to cup Brittany's flushed cheek in her hand. Brittany couldn't possibly look more heart-broken and Santana had never hated herself as much as she did in that moment. "Sweetheart, it's not that I don't want to marry you. Believe me, I do. More than anything."
Brittany's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "I don't understand."
"Baby, you basically just told me that you wouldn't still be here if it wasn't for me." Santana started to explain. She knelt down in front of Brittany and covered her girlfriend's trembling hand with her own. "You literally said that you wouldn't be able to survive without me. What if something happens to me? To us? Would you just give up? You can't put that kind of pressure on me, Britt. It's not fair."
Brittany was so embarrassed. She just wanted to disappear. She pried her hand out of Santana's grasp, dropping the box in the process, and shuffled backwards. "I didn't…" She trailed off, not knowing what to say. Tears escaped her eyes before she could stop them. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. "I'm sorry."
"Oh no, don't cry. Please, babe, don't cry." Santana pleaded, moving closer to Brittany. She couldn't believe how this conversation had gone downhill so rapidly. For a moment she wished that she had just accepted Brittany's proposal because she really did want to marry the blonde but that wouldn't have been fair to either of them with these questions still on her mind. Placing her hand on Brittany's knee, she spoke as calmly as possible. "I need to know that you didn't just get help because of me. I need to know that you'll be okay if something ever were to happen to me. You're your own person, sweetheart. You should do things for yourself. Not for me."
"I am doing it for me." Brittany said. She still refused to look at Santana and Santana knew that she was embarrassed. "It's just that… Before I met you I didn't think I was worth it but you made me realize that I am. Getting help is the best decision I've ever made. It's liberating to talk about things." Her eyes briefly met Santana's but almost immediately flickered down again. "I'm doing it for you but for me too and for… for Jess. I can feel that she's proud of me."
Santana's shoulders deflated as she let out a breath. She suddenly felt stupid for making things so hard for herself, for hurting Brittany. She just needed some certainty and Brittany had now given it to her.
"Ask me again." She said and Brittany's eyes snapped up to hers. "Please."
"Why?" Brittany asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Please Britt." Santana replied, picking up the box that had fallen to the ground. She took Brittany's hand and put the box in her palm, closing her fingers around it. "Ask me."
Brittany's eyes nervously darted around her face, taking in every inch, before she held out the ring and softly asked, "Will you marry me?"
"Yes." Santana said confidently. Brittany's eyes lit up and Santana let out a laugh, cupping both of Brittany's cheeks and wiping her tears away with the pads of her thumbs. "Yes." She repeated once more before sealing her words with a sweet kiss on Brittany's lips. "I'm sorry for being an idiot. I just had to be sure, Britt."
"Are you not just saying this because you feel sorry for me?"
"No." Santana was quick to reassure her, pressing another firm kiss to her lips. She pulled away and rested their foreheads together. "I was just making things harder than they should've been. I guess I have some fears of my own. I'm sorry for scaring you." Brittany's lips curled up into a sympathetic smile and Santana felt her heart skip a beat. "I can't wait to make you my wife."
"Me too." Brittany told her lovingly. She carefully slid the ring onto Santana's ring finger before raising the brunette's hand to her lips and kissing her palm. "Beautiful."
"You were really nervous, huh?" Santana asked, tenderly caressing Brittany's cheek with her free hand.
Brittany's smile faltered slightly as she blushed furiously. "I can't believe I almost threw up."
"It's okay, babe." Santana told her, pecking her on the lips once again. "This is definitely a proposal to remember."
The corners of Brittany's eyes crinkled as she smiled shyly. "We're getting married."
"We're getting married." Santana echoed with a grin.