Chapter 26:
Callie and Arizona spend the early hours of the morning rushing around two crowded trauma rooms trying to help their young patients. Callie keeps stealing glances at the blonde even though she is continuously reminding herself not to. A few times she catches Arizona looking back at her and in the moments that their eyes meet, Callie feels like her heart is going to beat out of her chest and her brain is on fire. She thought a week without talking to Arizona or seeing her would help her get over her. Boy, was she wrong. She is craving even the slightest contact with the blonde, a conversation, a touch, anything would be better than the torture of trying to avoid her. She can't admit that to anyone though, and knows she should try to stay strong and continue keeping her distance.
Arizona is beyond defeated. Every time she has seen Callie over the past week, the brunette would turn and walk the other way. She is trying her hardest to give Callie the space she needs, but the blonde finds herself craving Callie even more the longer they are apart. When she saw Callie standing at the nurses' station earlier that morning her body ached with excitement that she was finally going to get to spend some time with the brunette. She was going to walk up and happily say good morning to Callie, but changed her mind when she heard the nurse fill Callie in on what was coming to the pit and saw Callie visibly deflate when the nurse mentioned Arizona's name as the second doctor on the case.
After that Arizona just does her job. She puts her brain in auto pilot and doesn't focus on anything other than the task at hand, saving two kids' lives. She catches herself looking at Callie once in a while and forces herself to draw her attention back to her patients. She sees Callie looking at her a few times too, though and feels her hope starting to bubble up against her better judgement. She turns away from Callie and smiles despite herself.
The day passes by slowly for both of them. Arizona tries to talk to Callie every time they are left alone and every time, Callie stops her. Callie says they need to focus on getting these surgeries done and then maybe they can talk, so Arizona does just that. She works hard and fast and both surgeries are done by about 5:00 p.m. that night. Arizona scrubs out and walks down a nearly empty hallway on her way to the doctors' lounge. She has no more surgeries today and her shift technically ended a while ago, so she is going home.
Callie finishes her part of the surgery before Arizona does and scrubs out. She still has to work for another hour or two before she can go home, but she needs a break for a minute. She finds an empty gurney in a particularly empty hallway and sits down taking a deep breath as she does. When did life get so exhausting she wonders to herself and drops her head in her hands to think.
Arizona is walking toward the doctors' lounge when she sees Callie sitting on a gurney in her path. She stops walking and thinks for a moment. This is a perfect opportunity to talk to the brunette, but she doesn't want Callie to run away again. What should she say that will make Callie stop and listen to her? She takes a deep breath and goes for it. She steps up to Callie and faces the brunette. Callie sees Arizona's feet step in front of her and refuses to look up at the blonde.
"You are the most amazing, most beautiful, most perfect woman to me," she says softly and Callie slowly looks up meeting the blonde's eyes. "I am madly in love with you, Calliope," she continues and Callie feels a million butterflies erupt in her stomach despite her anger. "I am not going to give up on us and our possibly incredible future together." Arizona finishes and smiles shyly at Callie. She knows that she needs to explain to Callie everything that happened with Sarah and prove to her that what she is saying is true, but now doesn't feel like the time or place to do that.
Callie doesn't say anything and instead drops her eyes from the blue ones they were locked to. She shakes her head slightly and Arizona reaches out grabbing Callie's forearm.
"I know I have a lot of explaining to do and I am one hundred percent willing and ready to do it, but I don't think I should do it here." Arizona looks up and down the mostly empty hallway they are in, then back to Callie whose brown eyes are back on her. "I will be home tonight if you decide you want to talk to me you can stop by." She smiles and gently squeezes Callie's forearm reassuringly. "It's up to you, Calliope," she says in nearly a whisper before her smile fades slightly and she turns and walks away.
Callie stares at her until the blonde turns a corner and is out of view. Her mind is racing. Arizona wants to talk, like really talk, and all she has to do is show up at her place tonight and she will get the explanation she has secretly wanted to hear for a week now. But is this really a good idea? Should she really put her heart on the line again for a person she isn't even sure she trusts anymore? She leans back against the wall and looks up to the ceiling. She replays the conversation she just had, if she can even call it a conversation, it was more like a speech. Arizona said she was in love with her. Callie smiles at the confession, Arizona is in love with her. She smiles until an image forces its way into her mind, a picture of Sarah wrapped in a sheet. Her smile disappears and she shakes her head. She doesn't know what to do. She gets up and goes in search of Mark.
Mark has successfully avoided getting in the middle of his two best friends for the past week. He is shocked that it is taking them this long to have a legitimate conversation with one another. Callie is being stubborn as hell and he knows it, but that's just who she is. When she is hurt she hides and won't let the person who hurt her close enough to make amends. He is walking to the cafeteria to grab some food when none other than Callie comes rushing up to him. She grabs his arm and pulls him into the closest on-call room.
"Damn Callie, I know I'm good, but I'm with Lexie now," he says while chuckling at his own joke. Callie doesn't find it amusing.
"Shut up, Mark," she says bitterly. "I need advice," she says while starting to pace around the still dark on-call room.
"Okay what's got you pacing today, Cal?" he asks while sitting down on the bottom bunk of the bed in the room. Callie continues pacing for a moment trying to figure out what exactly she needs advice on. Should she go to Arizona's tonight? Should she believe anything Arizona has to say? Or should she just cut and run and forget any of this ever happened?
"Arizona told me she is madly in love with me," she mumbles out. Well that is a good start she thinks to herself.
"Well duh," Mark says not understanding what advice Callie is looking for. "Of course she's in love with you, Callie," he says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world to anyone with eyes and a pulse. Callie ignores his sass and continues to say everything that pops into her mind.
"She wants me to stop by her house after my shift so we can finally talk, like really talk," Mark is about to say something but Callie cuts him off continuing to ramble out her thoughts. "I don't know if I can trust her. I don't know if anything she says is the truth. I don't know if going to her house tonight is a good idea. But I feel like I owe her something. She waited two months for me to figure out that I really was attracted to her and not just missing Owen. She waited patiently and even let me have my space when Owen came home. I owe her a chance to explain herself don't I?" Mark knows there is a question in there somewhere. He is about to tell her that she should go to Arizona's as soon as her shift is done when she starts talking again. "I am just so mad at her, Mark. I think she slept with Sarah and I can't get that stupid picture of Sarah out of my head. You know what, screw it." She stops pacing and looks Mark right in the eyes. "I'm gonna go to her house tonight and tell her how mad I am, and that telling me she is in love with me isn't going to fix that!" She is practically yelling at Mark. She nods her head and leaves the room in a rush. "Thanks, Mark," she throws over her shoulder as she makes her way out the door.
"Yeah sure thing, Cal," he says while laughing to himself. "This is going to be interesting," he says to himself before leaving the on-call room.
Arizona is at home sipping a glass of wine standing absent-mindedly in her kitchen. Callie isn't coming she thinks to herself. It is already close to 10 and she hasn't heard anything from the brunette. She knows Callie's shift ended at 7. She is just about to give up hope when there is a loud knock on her apartment door.
Arizona's heart flutters as she looks through the peep hole at Callie. She opens the door and sees an angry looking Callie on the other side. As soon as the door opens, Callie brushes by her into the apartment. Arizona steps out of her way and looks at Callie with disbelief.
"Sure, come on in," she says quietly with slight sarcasm in her tone. She shuts the door and turns to follow Callie into her apartment. It's going to be a long night she thinks to herself and knocks back the rest of her wine while walking back into the kitchen.