26: In Our Midst
"Do you have news for the Dark Lord?" Severus asked the whimpering, cowardly, pathetic excuse of a human kneeling in front of him.
"Edgar B—Bones. He's going to be alone on the night when he should be guarding a Muggleborn's house," he said.
"How do you know he's going to be alone?"
"Lu—Lupin is supposed to be with him, but it's the full moon, so Bones said he could do it by himself—"
"Very well. If your information is wrong, Pettigrew, it will be you who pays," Snape said.
Pettigrew nodded, groveling at Sev's feet. "Spare me, please, spare me," he said.
"The Dark Lord will protect you as long as you continue to deliver," he said. "In fact, he would like to meet you," Snape drawled, watching as Peter began to cry.
"No, please, please…"
He dragged Pettigrew to the inner room where his Master was waiting. The back of the chair was all they could see, but Sev could feel the strength of the Dark Lord's strength before him.
"Bella," he hissed. Lestrange knelt at his feet, the look of pure obsession in her eyes.
"My Lord," she cooed.
"Bring the traitor spy before me."
Bellatrix grinned, her teeth as sharp as knives as she dragged a whimpering Pettigrew in front of the Dark Lord.
"Hm. So this is the Gryffindor scum who is willing to give up his friends in order to save his own skin," the Dark Lord hissed, the words slipping off his tongue like a slick liquid. "You should have been in Slytherin."
"Yes, yes, my Lord, anything, please…"
"Can you give me Dumbledore?" he asked.
"The school, he's mostly at the school—"
"Who leads your meetings, then?"
"The Prewetts," he said. "Aurors. Fabian and Gideon Prewett. And sometimes Edgar Bones. Moody, Alastor Moody!"
The Dark Lord laughed. "Very well, do not dirty my floor, lion scum," he said. "Bella, we need Moody dead. Send men to kill him."
"My Lord. And the others?"
"Bones will be dealt with, won't he, Severus?" the Dark Lord said without turning to face him.
"Yes, my Lord."
"S-Severus?" Peter said, looking at him, his eyes wide.
"Quiet," the Dark Lord snapped. Pettigrew shut his mouth instantly. "Do not disappoint me, Severus."
"I will not, my Lord."
"Now," Voldemort said to his loving supporters, with a slow-growing smile. "I require an elf."
.
By June 1979, both Lily and James were nineteen and had survived their first year outside of Hogwarts. With the news of Lily's mother's death in April, Lily had lost almost all ties to her Muggle life, especially since Petunia hadn't bothered to invite her to her own mother's funeral. She was torn apart by her mother's passing, but in all honesty, she realized she had long since said goodbye to her mother, probably since the day she married James. Her life with the Order and with James continued on much like before despite the fact that her mother was now gone.
It still hurt, regardless. Lily knew in her heart that she would never see her sister again, and she mourned for that too.
The end of another Hogwarts year brought some familiar faces to the Order. Marlene McKinnon and her family members decided to join Dumbledore's cause and Lily gave her friend a hug the first meeting they saw each other. James greeted his Assistant Captain warmly, congratulating her on the Gryffindor Quidditch Cup win, and everyone pretended not to notice her and Remus dance around each other like they were avoiding stepping in puddles.
Lily could hardly believe it had been a year of fighting Death Eaters. Her and James both had some close calls, along with Frank and Alice, who had since passed their Auror training and had already begun to put Death Eaters in Azkaban. They had also battled with Voldemort a second time and lived, something they now had in common with Lily and James. Everyone was thoroughly impressed with both couples, and Lily couldn't believe that all of them were still here together, alive.
She wondered darkly how much longer that could last.
"Attention, everyone," Dumbledore said. "Edgar Bones was ambushed last night at his post, but thankfully, he was able to get away relatively unscathed," he announced.
There were a series of gasps and hushed, incredulous whispers. Edgar Bones was a very accomplished and skilled wizard, and he would have been a great loss had he not escaped. Lily refused to look at James at this point, worried that she would allow her fear to consume her with one look at his face.
Lily couldn't help but feel the end was upon them.
"I must stress the importance that if you cannot make your post," he said, looking each one in the eye, "you must ensure that it is taken up by somebody else. I understand this is a demanding job and it requires long hours than can be very tolling on one's well-being, however, we cannot weaken our front."
Lily knew everyone was trying to figure out whom it was that did not make his post last night when Edgar was attacked. She hoped no one noticed that Remus was not present at this meeting. He had enough scrupulous eyes on him already without needing the weight of Edgar Bones' attack on his hands. She noticed Peter trembling in fear and she put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
Sirius was frowning with a brewing look in his eyes and she could see the storm ahead.
"On another note," Dumbledore said. "The Giants have retreated into small pocket communities in the north and have stopped attacking Muggle neighborhoods," he said. There was another small spattering of slightly more enthusiastic whispers this time, but they were still withdrawn. "However, we must not think this is the end of the repercussions. Many of the Giants are dead, and I would not be surprised if there are less than two hundred now left in total," he said gravely. "Wizards will again suffer the consequences of our actions for treating Giants in such a manner, and I urge you all to be wary of that fact."
Moody grumbled. "We're still putting Death Eaters away, but the inner circle keeps eluding us. The Lestranges, in particular. I have a strong suspicion the Malfoys, but I don't have proof. If any of you encounter any of them, you send your Patronuses to me first. Do not engage unless you are a trained Auror. Also, keep watch for new Death Eaters coming out of Hogwarts," he said. He looked to Dumbledore with a gruff expression. "No offence."
Dumbledore nodded once, looking serene. "None taken, Alastor."
The meeting ended and James went to go chat with Moody about one of his assignments. Sirius came over, broodingly, and she prepared herself for his new attempt to convince her of Remus' guilt.
"It wasn't him," she said before he could say anything.
"How do you know?" he asked. "He wasn't there—"
"It was the moon last night," she said, glaring. "James was with him. Where were you?"
"I'm not the spy," he hissed at her.
"That—that's not what I meant!" she said. "I trust you with my life, more importantly, I trust you with James' life. The same goes for anyone in this room, including Remus."
He wasn't convinced. "But he didn't get a replacement—"
"He probably tried. You know Edgar. He probably didn't want to burden anyone else and figured he'd be fine on his own."
"Exactly! And Remus could have sold him out to the Death Eaters! You know they've been wanting him dead for quite a while now."
She tried to come off as calm as possible. Peter was looking very distraught and she knew all of this was maybe a bit too much to handle.
"Sirius, it's not him. It was just a matter of wrong place, wrong time. We can't start mistrusting each other, or else we'll just fall apart."
He didn't say anything, but continued to look darkly at the ground. She knew there was more than just Remus bothering him, considering that with the end of another Hogwarts year, his brother Regulus was now free to do as he wished.
.
Regulus paced back and forth, his mind racing. Kreacher's recount of what had happened on his excursion with the Dark Lord was still replaying in his mind, changing the connections in his brain, forming new ideas and solutions and eating at his soul. He didn't know what he was supposed to do next.
But something had to be done.
The Dark Lord's manifesto was supposed to be about bringing wizards out of secrecy and ruling over the Muggles, not this cruelty towards magical creatures—the look on Kreacher's face was…wrong—his descriptions, his tears—
There was a large crack and Regulus jumped, looking up.
"Hey, Reg," Sirius said, a dark frown on his face.
Regulus took out his wand, and noticed Sirius didn't have his out. He was the last person Regulus wanted to see right now. That word kept bouncing around his head, that dark, forbidden word… How could the Dark Lord do such a thing to his soul?
"How did you find me?" Regulus asked, his voice rough for not speaking for so long.
Sirius laughed. "You're my brother. Where else would you be?" he said, tilting his head to the side.
Regulus didn't think his brother would actually turn up here, the little shack they frequented as children a couple blocks from their house to escape the miserable shouting of their parents. He didn't think Sirius even remembered this place.
"Are you here to take me in?" Regulus asked calmly.
"Why, have you done something to merit that?" Sirius asked him. He still hadn't drawn his wand, which made Regulus suspicious.
"What are you doing here?" he spat out. He needed to think and Sirius was not helping. Kreacher needed his help, and he needed to figure out what he was going to do about the Horc—
"I'm here to convince you, one last time—"
"Save your breath!" Regulus said, his voice cracking. Sirius looked alarmed.
"Reg, you look deranged. Look, as far as I know, you haven't done anything punishable by imprisonment yet—"
"You don't know anything!" he yelled, grabbing his hair and pacing again. The Dark Lord, he lied—this was just about himself and his quest for immortality—not about freeing the wizards from oppression—everything he believed was beginning to change and he couldn't think—
"Calm down," Sirius said, extending a hand to him, his face softening.
"I don't need your help," Regulus hissed, pointing his wand at Sirius' chest. "Leave."
Sirius frowned. "I'm not leaving until you hear me out."
Regulus glared at his brother, unmoving.
"Reg, you and me, we used to be close, no? We said we'd go travel the world and learn about other wizards in other countries. We can still do that, if you just come with me now—"
Regulus' jaw twitched.
"Please, Reg," Sirius said, taking a step towards him, hands open. "You don't need to do this. I can help—"
"I needed your help eight years ago, but you left!" Regulus shouted before he could stop himself.
Sirius' eye popped, stopping in place. "What do you mean?"
Regulus turned, pacing again, wishing he could stop himself from talking, but the words kept spilling out like water through a cracked dam. "When you left for Hogwarts, you know what they did to me? They locked me in my bedroom, without food, until I swore by their rules and promised not to disobey them. And where were you—in Gryffindor, of all places, with your new best friend, James Potter! And you forgot about me! You abandoned me!" Regulus yelled, his throat raw and his anger threatening to crush him.
Sirius was speechless. He was staring at Regulus with his mouth open, his eyes as wide as Kreacher's, and Regulus swore. Kreacher, what was he going to do about Kreacher? Kreacher, his only friend when his brother left him for Hogwarts—
"Reg, I didn't know—"
"Of course you didn't! Because when you came back from Hogwarts, you know what you did? You ignored our family, ignored me—locked yourself in your room with your Gryffindor pride and made it your mission to sequester yourself away from anything Black! Including me!"
"It was never about you—"
"Yes, I was just excess baggage, wasn't I?" Regulus spat out. "Fuck you, Sirius. Leave me alone. You never had any problem with it before."
"I'm sorry," Sirius said, looking more broken than Regulus could ever remember him looking. It did nothing for him anymore. He had other things to worry about than his brother's guilt. "I'm sorry for doing that to you, it was wrong. I'm sorry for what they did to you, I never knew. But it isn't too late. We can fix this, Reg. Come on—"
"I said, leave!" he shouted, pointing his wand at Sirius' chest and shooting out a random hex that first came to mind. Sirius, unarmed, went flying into the wall and fell against the floor.
Regulus froze, looking at the slumped figure of his brother. Was he dead? What did he do?
"Sirius," Regulus said, taking a cautious step forward.
His brother coughed and Regulus let out a small breath of relief. He dusted himself off and stood, and Regulus almost offered a hand to him, but kept his hand firmly to his side.
"Fine. But it's not too late," Sirius said to the ground, refusing to look at him in the eye. "I'm your brother, and I always will be. If you change your mind, find me," he said, taking out his wand and Disapparating on the spot.
Regulus swore, his brain hurting. No, he couldn't back out now. They'd just find him and kill him. And knowing what he knew, that would be a waste of his death. He needed to die doing something more meaningful than running like a coward, under the protection of his brother's shadow—
A glimmer of gold caught Regulus' eye from the ground and he bent to inspect it. It must have fallen out of Sirius' pocket when he was thrown to the ground. Regulus picked it up and ran his thumb over the gold locket. What would his brother be doing with a locket?
The locket—the Horcrux, the potion, Kreacher, the Inferi—
Regulus stood from the ground, putting the locket into his robes. The plan began to form inside his head, his thoughts becoming strangely clear as he straightened out, his shoulders becoming lighter as he fingered the locket in his pocket.
He knew what he must do now and he let the realization settle in. He knew what the only outcome was for his plan and it chilled his bones, making his muscles stiff with fear, but he didn't let it weigh him down. He stood tall and thought of his brother, the Gryffindor, and what he would do. Regulus could do this.
He walked back to his home on Grimmauld Place and understood that this was the last time he was going to see it.
Regulus found Kreacher in his cupboard, the elf still shaken by the effects of the potion, his wide eyes glossy with unshed tears.
"Master Regulus?" he asked, trembling.
"Kreacher, take me to the cave."
.
Sirius showed up at James and Lily's home, looking distraught. Remus and Peter were already here, getting ready to leave when he stormed in the door. Lily tried asking him what was wrong, but he refused to speak, just getting out James' Firewhiskey and pouring himself a glass. Lily looked at James in alarm, but he discreetly told her he'd handle and she nodded, disappearing upstairs.
"Mind sharing?" James asked as the three of them sat down in front of Sirius. Sirius passed him the Firewhiskey, but that wasn't what James meant. He got out three extra glasses anyway and poured one for Moony, Wormtail and for himself, holding it in his hands.
"Fuck. Should have just moved to Australia when I had the chance," he grumbled, downing another cup. "Fuck."
"What happened?" Remus asked.
Sirius glared at a knot in the table. "Nothing. S'not important."
"Right," James said, taking a small sip of his drink. He saw Lily appear in the living room again, looking to James to see if she could come in. He shrugged, and she entered.
"So, Sirius, your birthday's coming up," she said, getting out a glass for herself. "You'll be turning twenty! That's a big deal," she said, pouring herself some Firewhiskey. "Should we start planning something?"
He drained the rest of his glass and poured himself more. Lily shot James a sideways glance.
"Fuck my birthday," he said, grumpily. "Fuck everything. Fuck my life, fuck my family, fuck the war, fuck Hogwarts, fuck Voldemort—"
"Sirius!" Lily said. "Calm down! What is going on?"
He stood from his chair and began pacing, running his hands through his hair. He continued to mutter under his breath.
"Padfoot, tell us what happened. Did you find Regulus?" James asked.
"Fuck Regulus!" he screamed angrily.
"I guess that's a yes," James muttered to Lily. She looked at him, concerned. "Did you attack him?"
"Should have. Should have just knocked him out and tied him up and brought him back—"
He stopped pacing and drained his glass, quickly pouring himself another one and draining that one as well. James could tell Lily wanted to put it away, but she didn't move.
"I'm sure you did everything you could—"
"Fuck, I just want to drink without punching anyone in the face, okay?" he said, sitting down. "That's the only reason I'm here. I don't want to talk about, for fuck's sake."
James nodded and Lily stood, putting her hand on Sirius' shoulder as she passed. "Don't stay up too late," she said to James. "We have an early shift in the morning, remember?" James nodded and she turned to the rest of them. "Oh, and please don't break my house," she said as a parting sentiment, smiling at them before she went upstairs.
Sirius continued to drink and eventually passed out on the table, but Remus and Peter had left much before that. James moved his best friend to the couch and went upstairs where Lily was fast asleep. He checked the clock—they had to be up in an hour. He collapsed in bed beside Lily and closed his eyes.
"James," Lily said, shaking him awake. He opened his eyes, blurry, and saw Lily's face in front of his. "Time to get up."
James groaned as Lily went downstairs. He got out of bed and showered, trying to get rid of the stinging of his eyeballs. When he got downstairs, the couch was empty.
"Where'd Sirius go?" he asked Lily as she handed him a cup of coffee.
She shrugged. "He was gone when I got downstairs," she said, yawning. He noticed she had bags under her eyes as well.
"What time did you get to sleep?" he asked her, taking a sip of his coffee.
"A couple hours before you came to bed," she said.
"Did I wake you?"
She waved her hand at him. "You were quiet, I was just having a bad night," she said. "Ready?"
He nodded and drained the rest of the scalding liquid. She walked past him, ready to leave, but he grabbed her waist and pulled her against him before she could get too far. She smiled at him and put her arms on his shoulders.
"Good morning," he said, kissing her lightly.
"Mm, morning," she said, quickly hugging him before letting him go. "Let's try not to die today, hm?"
They Apparated to the Prewetts, where they were brought to the neighborhood they were supposed to be watching over this morning. They relieved Benjy Fenwick and Marlene, who gave them a small, tired smile as she left.
Lily shivered and James offered his coat, but she told him she wouldn't need it soon. The sun was rising and they were sitting on a hill, silently watching the Muggle neighborhood, one rumored to be the next target of Death Eaters, considering many 'blood traitors' resided here.
James yawned as Lily leaned her head on his shoulder. "I bet Aurors get better hours than this," she said quietly.
"Probably. But then they have to come work for Dumbledore afterward, so I'm still pretty sure this is the best option," he said.
"Did Sirius say anything after I left last night?"
"Nope."
She sighed. "I'm worried about him. I feel like he might do something rash."
"He'll be fine. Sirius is a survivor. Hot-headed, but he won't do something he'll end up regretting. He likes his life too much to waste it brooding over some stupid decision."
"Do you think this will be over soon?"
"Our shift just started, Lil," he said.
"Not our shift," she said, rolling her eyes. "I meant the war. Everything. I just want to be able to have a normal breakfast with you without having to leave and sit in front of neighborhood, pretending to be sightseeing."
James wasn't sure what to tell her. There were no signs of it ending. Even thought the Giant attacks had stopped, the Death Eaters were recruited people at every corner, and the Ministry wasn't doing anything productive. They hadn't caught someone in almost weeks, and Moody was getting restless. He couldn't see how it would end anytime soon, especially since no one was even remotely close to killing Voldemort, who seemed to deflect curses like he was made of mirrors.
He could tell her all of this, but he knew that wasn't what she wanted to hear.
"We could always move to Antarctica," he said, putting his arm over her shoulders.
"Mm, you're going to have to learn how to hunt seal," she said.
James chuckled. "Good think I've always fancied you in fur," he said.
She laughed and hit him in the stomach. "I'm not moving there unless you build me a proper house. I refuse to live in an igloo."
He pretended to be severely burdened by it. "Fine. Merlin, I never would have married you if I'd known you were such a Niffler," he said.
She looked up at him with a smile, which erased the bags underneath her eyes and brought color to her face. "Cheeky bastard," she said, kissing him.
"You're going to have to work for it, Evans," he said. "If you want me to build you a house, you're going to have to cook all my meals, and give me lots of children."
"I already cook all your meals, you twat," she said.
"So the children, then," he said. "Grace and Harry, at least. Twins, maybe. Then the rest, we can figure out later."
"Grace and Harry Potter," she said, smiling. "I like it. But our first born is going to be a boy," she said. "There's no way it won't be."
"Want to bet?" he said, holding out his hand for her to shake. "Chores for two weeks after the baby's born. If it's Harry, I'll do everything. If it's Gracey—" James stopped at the look on her face. "—Fine, I'll still do everything."
She smiled. "Good, I almost thought you were going to propose I do all the house chores right after I've carried another human being in my body for nine months and then pushed it out of my nether regions."
James grinned.
"So, what do you say? Since you've got nothing to lose except bragging rights, bet on it. Harry, and you win. Grace, and I win."
She put her hand in his and shook. "To Harry James Potter, our first child."
He laughed. "Grace Lily Potter won't be too pleased about that."
She made a face. "I don't want our child's middle name to be named after me."
"Why not? You decided Harry's will be mine."
"Because it sounds perfect! Harry James Potter. You've got to admit, it's the name of a hero."
"Grace Lily is equally heroic."
"Whatever, we can discuss this in the future since Grace will have to wait until after Harry is born anyway, and that could be years off," she said, grinning.
He shook his head. "May be sooner than—"
James couldn't finish his sentence when there was a flash of green light in the distance of one of the streets. They jumped to their feet, quickly getting their wands out and sending multiple Patronuses to the relevant parties.
"Ready?" he asked her. She nodded and they ran to the source of the lights.
"Potter!" he heard one of the Death Eaters calling his name. He looked at Lily, who looked alarmed. "Come out, come out, Potter!"
"How did they know we'd be here?" she asked him, hiding behind one of the houses. It was still too early for the Muggles to be awake, but with this shouting and the lights, they would be up soon.
"Show me your Mudblood wife, Potter! I want to teach her a lesson in tainting pure blood families with her mud blood—"
"Lil," he said to her.
"Don't you dare say it," she said sternly. "Help is on the way, we just need to keep them busy until then. I'm not leaving you here alone, idiot."
He nodded reluctantly and they came out from behind the house.
"Travers," he greeted. "Ah, Rosier and Wilkes, too. Thought I saw you at the last Giant attack, but I couldn't be sure."
"Potter," Travers said, grinning. "Ah, and your Mudblood whore. I've been looking forward to this for—"
Lily shot a curse at his head before he could finish and the small street erupted into a flurry of lights and yelling. She was dueling Travers while James took Rosier and Wilkes. A green light flew past James' head and he turned to see Lily dodge it quickly and he breathed in relief. Rosier took his moment of distraction to put him under the Cruciatus and he fell to his knees—
"Stop where you are!" Moody's voice erupted in the mix. All three Death Eaters Disapparated on the spot and Moody growled angrily, Alice and Frank standing behind him.
"Are you okay?" Lily asked, helping James to his feet.
He nodded and fixed his glasses, looking up at the houses where people were starting to wake up.
"Moody—"
"We'll take care of it, Potter," Moody grumbled. "Now get out of here, quick. The Longbottoms will take your place. If the Ministry find out you've been here, they'll grow a new set of heads. Quick, both of you, get to Headquarters," he said, already casting Confundus Charms on the Muggles staring out their windows.
James and Lily quickly ran from the scene, Disapparating once they got to a secluded area. Gideon was already waiting for them when they arrived at his house.
"Which nephew knocked over the Christmas tree last year?" he asked them, wand raised.
"Bill and Charlie," James and Lily answered simultaneously.
"Come in, we got your message," he said. "Both of them at the same time, it gave us quite a fright, having two deer prance into our living room," he said, sparing a smile of them. "Are you both all right?"
"Yeah, Moody came just in time," Lily said. "Gideon, they knew we'd be there," she said, sounding frightened.
"What?" Gideon asked.
"After we saw the lights, before they'd seen us, they called out my name," James said. "Told us to come out."
Gideon swore and sent out his Patronus. "Thought this might happen soon," he said.
"What are you talking about?" Lily asked.
"Dumbledore thinks there's a spy," he said, grimacing. "Too many of the Order have been ambushed to be considered coincidence anymore. That's how Dumbledore thinks they almost found Moody back in March."
James and Lily sat in silence, unsure of what to say. James knew some people were getting anxious about a possible spy amongst them, but if Dumbledore thought it as well…
Dumbledore arrived and Gideon checked him as was the norm. Dumbledore stood gravely in front of them.
"Gideon's told you my suspicions, I suppose?" Dumbledore said. They both nodded.
"But Sir, surely there can't be—"
"I have strongly begun to suspect it, James," Dumbledore said. "It's no surprise, really. Voldemort wants information on our organization, and he's not afraid to use whatever means to get it. Surely, the person doing this is being forced by means of torture and threat of death. These are dark times. There's no telling what lengths some would go to in order to preserve their own lives," he said. "I do believe that there is a spy in our midst."
"Who do you think it is?" Lily asked. "You have suspicions, don't you?"
"Yes, but they are only suspicions," Dumbledore said. "I will not share them with you in the chance that I am wrong, however, I will urge you two to be cautious. It seems that you two have made it onto Voldemort's list of enemies worthy of being killed."
"But if they wanted us dead, or anyone else for that matter, why not just attack all of us at the next meeting here, since the spy would know when and where?"
Dumbledore smiled softly. "I hate to sound arrogant, but I'm assume that would be because I am here during the meetings," he said. "Tom never liked me as a teacher, I'm afraid."
"But still. All the houses of those the spy visited are in danger, aren't they?" Lily asked.
"Precisely right. Which is why, Gideon, I've come to tell you that I think it's time you and your brother used the Fidelius on your house. Since it is Headquarters, both of you are in danger and we cannot risk it, I'm afraid."
Gideon sighed and nodded. "Fabian is going to hate this, but I think you're right."
"Sorry, what's a Fidelius?" James asked.
Lily explained the details of the charm to him as Dumbledore nodded sagely. "It's the strongest form of protection out there," she said gravely.
"I don't think that will be necessary for you yet," Dumbledore said to them. "However, you should still exercise caution in telling anyone where you live and the location of your shifts. That should be need to know information only."
Dumbledore informed them of what they should do next—the Longbottoms would take over the rest of their shift under Auror orders dispatched by Moody, and James and Lily would resume the next morning. They were not to tell anyone of the switch. They agreed and went back home.
When James wished he could get more sleep, these were not the conditions we was hoping for.
.
November 1979
"Morning," Lily said, opening her eyes to James' hazel ones, staring back at her with a smile on his face. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss, pulling him down on top of her. He didn't complain, responding enthusiastically.
"Mm, it's been much too long since we did that," Lily said, against his lips. The sun was streaming in through the windows and she rested her head on James' chest, listening to his heart beat steadily. She ran her fingers down his stomach and back up to his pecs. James grabbed her fingers and intertwined them with his.
"It's been a week," he said, laughing.
"Like I said, much too long," she said, yawning and closing her eyes against his chest. "I think we beat our previous record," she said with a grin.
He laughed and shook his head. "You nearly killed me, Evans," he said, grinning.
"Oh, stop complaining," she said, leaning up so she could look at him better. His hair was wild as usual, his glasses perched lazily on his nose. His thumb was running across her hand and she smiled at him. "Do we have to go in to work today? I mean, he's technically not even paying us," she said. "We could just stay in and try to beat our new record."
James frowned at her and she giggled. "Merlin, you really do want to kill me, don't you?"
"I believe in your abilities, James Potter," she said, grinning widely and kissing his chest.
He kissed her and she almost thought he was going to agree, but he pulled away, groaning. "We can't," he said, shaking his head with his eyes closed. "We can't," he repeated, probably more for himself than for her benefit.
She sighed. "Much too noble," she said, getting out of bed and wrapping a robe around herself before James could open his eyes.
"Hey," he said. "We still have half an hour, come back here—" he said, staring after her.
"Not anymore. I have to shower if we're going to work," she said, laughing at his expression. "It was your decision, Potter. You have to pay the consequences," she said. James pouted.
Their shift was relatively uneventful and they passed the reigns off to Sirius and Dorcas Meadowes.
"See, we could have stayed home," she said as they left.
James shook his head at her. "Deviant. And what would we have told Dumbledore, huh? 'Sorry, Professor, but I can't come in to work today because Lily wants to shag my brains out.' I hardly think he would accept that."
She frowned at him. "Well, we wouldn't put it that way…we wouldn't want to give Dumbledore a heart attack."
James snorted. "You will be the death of me," he said, kissing her on the nose. "Merlin, I'm so tired. Let's take a nap, please? Just sleeping. Only sleeping for a couple hours."
She nodded, giving him a smile. "You make it sound like what we did last night was torture. Like I was holding you hostage or something."
"It wasn't," he said, remembering fondly. "It was bliss, and I wish we could do that every night, but unfortunately, I also need sleep. And food and bathroom breaks, unfortunately."
She sighed dramatically. "Okay, I guess we can sleep for a little bit," she said right before they Disapparated back home. "Goodnight, Potter," she said when they got upstairs.
"What, aren't you sleeping too?"
She shook her head, giving him a mischievous smile. "I think," she said, taking off her shirt, "I'm going to take a nice, hot bath. But you're tired, so I'll let you sleep," she said, stepping out of her pants and shutting the bathroom door behind her.
She heard James swear before he opened the door, standing there, glaring at her. "Bloody hell, Evans. That was bloody unfair."
She laughed as he took off his shirt and picked her up, kissing her fiercely.
Merlin, she loved him.
.
December 1979
"You okay, Lil?" James asked, yawning. They were meeting Alice and Frank for a pre-Christmas lunch and they'd just gotten off an eight-hour shift.
She nodded and tried to smile, but there was too much on her mind for it to look genuine.
They met with Alice and Frank in the Muggle restaurant. James held her hand as they entered and greeted their old friends.
"Alice, you look amazing," Lily said, noticing how her friend glowed with happiness. Frank was also looking unusually happy and she guessed it was because of the holidays. Lily couldn't say the season was affecting her as much as them, however.
"So do you, Lily!" Alice said, giving her another hug. "Oh, I wish Mary were here," she said sadly, missing her best friend.
"Me, too. Have you written to her lately?"
"Yes, I just sent a letter in the Muggle post recently. I only hope it get to her through. It takes so long to deliver it, I'm scared the news will reach her after it's too late," she said.
"What news?" Lily asked.
Alice beamed and she looked a Frank. "I'm pregnant!" she said, flushing beautifully and gripping Lily's hand forcefully.
"Alice!" Lily said, giving her friend a hug. James shook Frank's hand, extending his congratulations. "That's wonderful!" Lily said, trying to feel happy for her friend, but preoccupied with her own news. "How far along are you?" she asked.
"Nearing on two months," she said, beaming. Her round face was pink with joy. "The Healers said it would be a July baby."
"Really happy for you two," James said. She could hear the small amount of envy in his voice, and she felt the guilt possess her. She didn't know if she could do this.
"Thanks, James," Alice said. "But what about you two? I feel like we haven't seen each other in ages."
The two couples caught up over lunch and had a good time exchanging old stories. James checked his watch near the end.
"Sorry to leave, but I told the lads I'd join them at Sirius' when I was done here."
"Oh, no problem, we need to get going as well," Frank said. "We need to break the news to my mother," he said, rolling her eyes.
James laughed and he looked to Lily. "Ready to go?"
She nodded. "I'm just going to use the loo first," she said.
Once she got into the stall, she began hyperventilating, unable to get the air to her lungs, and she couldn't think—how could she do this, it was too much, and James, he wanted this so badly—
"Lily?" Alice's voice said, knocking on her stall. "Are you all right?"
"No," she admitted, her throat tight. Merlin, was she crying? She wiped her face and swore internally. So much crying, all she did was cry—
"Lily, come out," Alice said, sounding concerned. "Tell me what's happened. Is it James? Are you two fighting?"
"No, no," she said, grabbing the tissue and putting it over her eyes. "James is perfect, it's not him."
"What is it then? Please come out."
"Alice, I'm pregnant," she said, quietly, finally admitting it to someone other than herself.
Alice was silent for a moment and Lily wondered if she had gone.
"Lily, please come out," Alice said.
Lily opened the stall and Alice was smiling gently at her. She wrapped her arms around Lily and Lily couldn't stop the tears from flowing.
"Why are you crying?" Alice asked. "This is great news! Our children can be friends, it'll be great—"
"I'm scared," she said quietly. "I don't think I'm ready to do this. You and Frank, you're much more prepared than James and I. And if something happens, Frank's mum, she'll be able to take care of your child, but James and I have no one—no one to help us, it'll be a disaster, the two of us raising a child—"
"Lily, breathe, please, relax," Alice said, grabbing more tissues for Lily and putting them in her hand. "You won't be alone, for Merlin's sake. What are we, a bunch of Flobberworms? We'll help you if you need anything. But you won't, because you're going to be a great mother. And James will be wonderful. You two can do this."
Lily nodded, knowing this in her brain, but her heart wouldn't stop causing her problems. She couldn't help but feel like something was going to go badly.
"I'm being ridiculous, I know," she said, hiccupping and splashing her face with water.
"Does James know?"
Lily shook her head. "I was too scared to tell him. I know what he would say—he'd agree with you—but I wasn't ready to hear that yet. I just need to process what this means for us. He would just sweep it under the rug and tell me everything is going to be fine, but I couldn't deal with that just yet."
Alice nodded. "He'll understand. How long have you known?"
"A week," she said. "I'm a month and a half along," she said, putting a hand to her belly.
Alice smiled. "They'll be friends at Hogwarts then!" she said. "I know you're scared, but you should really tell James. I felt the same way until I told Frank. You two will be okay."
Lily nodded again and gave her friend a hug. "Thank you, Alice. I'm sorry I'm such a mess."
Alice patted her back and sighed. "I miss Mary. She'd know what to say to get you to laugh."
Lily smiled. "I miss her too."
"Let's go outside, hm?"
"Oh, no, does it look like I've been crying?"
"Not at all," Alice said. "Besides, if they ask, I'll just say that we got a bit emotional in the bathroom and I'll blame it on little Neville."
"Neville?" Lily asked.
Alice put her hand on her stomach. "It's a boy, I can tell."
Lily laughed. "Mine is called Harry. Harry James Potter."
"Brilliant," Alice said, beaming at her. "That's brilliant."
They left the bathroom hand in hand, smiling at their husbands who were waiting impatiently at the table.
"Merlin," James said. "Did you two stop for coffees in the middle of the loo?"
"Something like that—"
There was an explosion right outside the restaurant and they all turned their heads. Muggles were screaming and Lily stared with dread as a troop of Death Eaters made their way down the street, destroying buildings and throwing Muggles in the air—
Frank and James were already sending their Patronuses out, Alice and Lily joining them. Alice made sure all the restaurant patrons were safe before casting protective charms around the building.
James ran forward and Lily followed, quickly losing sight of Alice and Frank. She disarmed the first Death Eater she came across and knocked him unconscious with a Stunner. She ejected ropes from her wand, which wrapped themselves around him on the ground. She moved a couple Muggles out the way, who were staring in disbelief and fear of everything that was going on around them.
She saw the Prewetts arrive in the corner of her eyes and she nodded at them before moving on. Where was James?
Lily ducked just as a green jet of light whizzed past her and she turned to see a Death Eater with his wand pointed at her. She whipped her wand in his direction, cursing him with all she knew, but he deflected. She took a step towards him, sending curse after curse after him, which he blocked, one after the other.
She heard Moody's growl and was momentarily distracted when the Death Eater sent another green jet in her direction—
"Move!" a voice shouted, pushing her out of the way. James lay on top of her, crushing her body, still and unmoving. No, no—
"James!" she shouted at him. He stirred, only unconscious, and she exhaled in relief, closing her eyes and pushing him off of her and casting a temporary protective charm around them. Her abdomen cramped painfully, but she ignored it. "James, wake up," she said, hitting his cheek.
He opened his eyes and he blinked at her. "Merlin, Evans," he grumbled. "Pay attention, you almost got yourself killed," he complained.
She laughed breathlessly. "Thank you. Now get up. There are still Death Eaters everywhere."
Another, stronger cramp hit her and she winced. "Lil?"
"I'm fine. You just knocked the breath out of me," she said. "Go!"
He nodded, helping her to her feet before engaging the next Death Eater.
She put a protection charm around herself while she caught her breath, her hand on her stomach. I'm sorry I was scared, she thought to him. Please don't die, please, not yet, please, you're okay, we're going to be okay, Harry. Please, just hold on—
The cramping disappeared and she took a couple more steadying breaths before realizing both of them were going to be okay. Harry was a fighter. He wasn't going to let a little knockdown hurt him.
"Lily? Are you okay?" Remus asked her, appearing out of nowhere.
"Yes, fine!" she said. "Good to see you!" she shouted as he ran off, waving at her.
Lily caught up to the group, Aurors and Death Eaters everywhere. She freed a couple more Muggles and Stunned a couple more Death Eaters, seeing Sirius duel fiercely with another one. His face was contorted in rage and he was shouting.
"Where is Regulus Black?" he yelled between firing curses. The Death Eater didn't respond, but Lily couldn't think about that now when James was dealing with three Death Eaters by himself.
She ran to his side, sending curses their way. He shot her a rushed smiled before blocking another curse aimed in their direction.
She heard a blood-curdling scream somewhere too her right and she finally landed her curse on the Death Eaters before turning to the scream.
Her eyes landed on a horrifying sight. Voldemort was pointing his wand at Alice, who was kneeling on the floor, grabbing her head and screaming, Frank being restrained by Death Eaters and forced to watch—
"No!" she yelled, running towards them and shooting as many curses as she could at Voldemort's head. James ran by her side, quickly dealing with the Death Eaters holding Frank, who quickly got his wand out and ran to Alice's side, breathing heavily, but no longer screaming.
"Ah, the Potters," Voldemort said silkily, smiling widely at them. "I was wondering if you would show your faces, or hide like cowards."
Lily ignored him and continued to shoot curses at him. Not Neville. Neville and Harry were going to be best friends, he couldn't touch either of them.
James stood beside her and shot curses at him—
"Crucio!" a woman's voice said, aiming it at James. He screamed and collapsed, and Lily turned to the woman, Bellatrix Lestrange, who wasn't even wearing a mask. All Lily could see was red.
"Crucio!" Lily shouted, pointing her wand at the crazed woman.
Bellatrix laughed when the curse deflected. "Not as easy as you think, huh, Mudblood? You need to actually mean—"
Lily shot another curse at her before she could finish her sentence and sent Bellatrix flying backward into another Death Eater.
Alice had finally recovered and she stood with Frank, holding her stomach and pointing her wand at Voldemort, who was engaging Moody. Lily helped James to his feet and the four of them began sending everything they had at Voldemort, who cackled in delight. More Death Eaters swarmed around them and Moody abandoned his fight with Voldemort in order to subdue the new arrivals.
"Die!" Voldemort screamed at the four of them, sending curses in every direction. He looked manic and genuinely pleased to be causing this much destruction. There was a flash of light and Dumbledore arrived, a beacon of hope for the Order members and Aurors fighting.
"Tom, enough," Dumbledore said, interrupting their four-on-one duel.
Voldemort laughed. "You old fool," he said. "I do not take orders from you anymore, Professor," he mocked.
"You've done enough damage. Now is the time for remorse," he said.
Voldemort cackled. "You will never understand, Dumbledore. I've gone beyond anything you could ever hope to accomplish. I am above you!"
Dumbledore struck out his wand and send a beam of white light at Voldemort, who deflected it, but not without suffering the blow. He snarled at Dumbledore before Disapparating on the spot, many of his Death Eaters along with him.
As the rubble settled on the street and people helped others to their feet, James picked Lily up in a hug, his arms wrapped around her waist and she held onto his neck as tight as she could, little Harry resting between them. It was going to be okay, it really was.
Harry was safe and she knew that even if she and James died, he would still be the most beloved little boy ever to live on this planet.
Author's Note: I feel like I've already said this, but Sirius Black has got to be my favorite character in all of the Harry Potter series, and I hope he's as interesting to you guys as he is to me. I think Mary's description of him back in the earlier chapters describes him perfectly in my eyes…a wonderfully baked cookie with a crispy outside and soft, chewy inside. Yum.
Only two more chapters, folks! Review!
I know it's getting sad and dark, but I think the end of this story is a happy one. So don't despair! And review!