Chapter Twenty Six

She had a difficult time unlocking the door to her apartment. Castle's hand wrapped permanently around hers since Jordan escorted them out of the Aquarium and into her SUV. She had driven them here so Kate could pack some clothes. They'd be staying at the Shaw residence until they could end this...

If they could.

The word if had been thrown around a lot. Along with how much Jordan didn't know what they were dealing with. And that small amount of hope they had been holding since Kate called upon her, had dwindled down to nothing by the time they parked outside her apartment.

But Jordan was determined.

They had resources... man power and they would get to the bottom of this. But Kate...she had been sagging deeper into his arms. She couldn't see the light anymore until Jordan could show her just even a smidge amount of hope.

Now it was yet another waiting Game. And Kate couldn't keep feeding quarters in...She had nothing else to give.

Kate growled through her teeth when she dropped her keys, the metallic chink echoing down the silent hall, and it made her feel jumpy, eyes blinking shut forcefully at the sound as she just stood there for a moment looking down at them. Still feeling his hand warm and strong in hers.

Castle cupped her elbow when she went to get them, stilling her movements silently, and letting her hand go. But he trailed his fingers down her body as he bent, keeping that tangible connection between them until he pressed his chest at her back, unlocking the door.

Kate let her body fall back into him, let herself be guided by him as he turned the knob, arms around her body, and pushing open her door. He held her close, walking them into the middle of her apartment as she fell loose against him.

Emotionally tired... just... so tired.

"I'll help." He whispered into her ear, his breath brushing at her hair, tickling the side of her face.

She only nodded, tilting her face towards him a little more as he led her into her room turning on the light and sitting her down on her bed. She grabbed his hands when he turned to go to her dresser, gripping them tightly in her own shaking ones, and looked up at him with resigned eyes.

"What are we going to do?" She asked, eyes drifting to their hands as she thumped them on her thighs.

He rubbed his thumbs along her soft quivering skin, squeezing them as he spoke, "We're going to fight, Kate." He said, kneeling down in front of her. "We're going to find a way... we have Jordan now... we have the FBI on our side... we can do this..." He kissed her forehead, pressing his lips hard into the warmth as her hair fell to brush his nose, and he breathed her in. "We've got this." He whispered against her skin, he felt her nod, and take in a long breath before sighing.

"I knew there was a reason I couldn't forget you." She said, as he let her go, and moved to get some clothes out of her drawers.

He looked back at her quizzically , as she stood from the bed, moving to the bathroom door and turning to look back at him. She leaned on it, head tilted to rest against the frame, and a small smile spread. Miniscule, but it was there.

It was right there in her eyes.

"Because I love you so much." She said softly, before going into the bathroom, leaving the door open as she started collecting her toothbrush and other things she might need.

Kate smiled at herself in the mirror, now cleaned and wiped away of all evidence of her breakdown. And her grin spread wider across her face, a swelling in her heart, warm and freeing. It pushed away the weight that now cracked in two and it seeped out and away from her.

She knew she didn't love him for nothing. Only he could make her feel that way in the midst of a battle. And Kate now felt ready, to stand there beside him as they fought to keep what was theirs, however they would do it.

Her mind had been reeling. Seeking out all the options, and there was one... right in the back of her mind that she now brought forefront. Before she had not been sure if it would work... but maybe it was all she had. One last thing she could give away to perhaps have what Kate knew she finally deserved.

Her mom would want her to move on with her life and finally live it.

"Maybe..." She said, slowly turning from herself and standing in the doorway.

Castle stopped what he was doing, dropping a pair of her pants onto the bed, and looking at her. His brow creased at the look on her face... sad but decided, and he crossed the room, "what is it?" He asked, a hand at her cheek as her eyes fogged over.

despite her certainty.. she could not help but feel the loss already for her decision. "Maybe... I can...forget her." She whispered, her voice haunted as she came out of it, eyes locking with his.

"No, Kate." He said, shaking her a little. "I won't let you do that... I won't let you choose me over your mother." He was getting angry, holding her firmly in place as she began to shake her head.

"It's the only way...If I don't remember her... then... there is no case.." She persisted, pulling out of his grasp and going back into the bathroom.

She could see him behind her in the mirror, his jaw tensed as he shook his head at her, fists clenched as his sides. He looked down, away from her sharp green eyes that told him, she had made up her mind already.

"No." He said, taking a step towards her, but then he froze, gaze darting down to the floor before his eyebrows raised. "It's not the only way." He walked right up to her, eyes connecting for only a moment before he bent down, picked something up off the tile, and rose.

And when he was level with her again, both of them looked down, to the small thing between his thumb and index finger.

A pill.

They all gathered around her dining room table, Well, the three of them, and Agent Avery, as they waited for the rest of Kate's detached team to show up. She had both hands cupped around a steamy cup of coffee, and Castle sat close to her, shoulder pressed into hers, with one hand on her thigh as he lifted his cup to take a long drink.

Jordan stared at the tiny pill set in the middle of the table. It's innocent white coating quite deceitful to the unknown eye. But they all knew, as she picked it up, that it was much more than simple a pain medication.

It was a wolf in sheep's clothing.

It held the one thing that could wipe Castle free from Kate's life. Well maybe not the only thing. Other than this tiny memory detonator, there was one more key element in the entire process, and Kate let her hand drop from her coffee to push into her hair. She felt the scar from the incision she was not convinced was from a bump on the head when she slipped in the tub...

No.

It was more more than that. It was the flint to the fire that consumed her mind and snuffed out all traces of the man beside her.

But before she could point it out, the door buzzed, and Jordan looked to Avery, who went into the kitchen as she left to get the door.

Giving them their privacy for this reunion.

Castle gripped Kate's thigh tighter, and she let him remove her hand, still wove it in her hair, lacing their fingers together atop the table. They both watched as the crew entered, cautiously entering the FBI agents home.

And Kate realized... seeing them for the first time after everything... after coming to the conclusion that every last one of them were in this together from the start... She couldn't be mad... every last ounce of anger dissipated the moment she saw Lanie walk into the dining room.

Kate stood up from her chair dropping Castle's hand her eyes misting over when they locked with Lanie's. The women crossed the room towards each other without hesitation, and it was Lanie, who let the first tear slip for her eyes as she swept Kate into her arms.

"I'm so sorry." Lanie cried embracing Kate tightly, squeezing her hard against her, face in her hair as they both started to cry.

Kate couldn't say anything, the words choked on the lump in her throat, but she could hear Castle, who took Ryan into a hug, Ryan whispering his own apologies. Castle clapped the Irishmen on the back as Kate held Lanie at arms length, looking over at Esposito as he approached them wearily.

She gave them all a fixed look before she took Castle's hand, still holding Lanie close, and spoke from her heart. Where she knew the truth would always truly lie. "No. I get that you were trying to keep us safe." She told them, looking up at Castle with a soft smile.

"We know." Castle nodded, extending a hand to Espo, "S'okay we can get through this." He coaxed the stern detective, "Together." He added, and when he finally took his hand in a firm shake, Castle drew him into for a proper embrace.

When they parted, Espo cleared his throat uncomfortably, going to take a seat at the table, where Ryan followed. "What have we got?"

"Yeah." Lanie agreed, bumping Kate with her hip "Because I would really love to run Alexander down with my car."

They all chuckled as Jordan cleared her own throat and stepped in between the group holding the pill in the palm of her hand.

"Well," Kate said, cutting Jordan off as she went to explain what they had in mind. Kate looked to the Agent, who nodded her head to her.

"You have the floor detective."

Kate gave her a pursed lip smile before turning to Lanie. "That might just be what we have to do."

"Seriously?" Ryan asked.

"Yes... I don't think... that this little thing will do the trick.. not on its own." She said, plucking the capsule from Jordan's palm, who went to lean on the doorway, Avery behind her listening as Kate seemed to have formed more to their initial plan.

Lanie's eyebrows rose on a small intake of breath. "You're right...There was more too this whole thing then slipping you a pill..." She turned to the others who look mildly confused. "Thing is.. Alexander had a neurosurgeon start it off."

"Like... made an incision and did... what exactly?" Espo asked, and the others nodded, as Castle seemed to be working it out on his own.

"Scar tissue." Lanie said, as Kate let her fingers poke at the incision, walking backwards till she collided with Castle who she knew was there. "There is not much else I know about it... "Lanie said with a frown, crossing her arms. "But I did overhear them talking about it beforehand... something about..."

Castle leaped in, pushing against Kate in his excitement. "They injured the part of Kate's brain that holds memory, with damage already done.. it wouldn't take much... like a specifically designed serum hidden in a pain pill, to insinuate itself in the scar tissue, and corrupt the part of her brain that held selective memory." Castle's eyes are wide, that far off I - just- found- the -killer look, all over his face.

"Okaaay... if it wasn't for the fact that.. this whole thing happen.. I would say you've gone off the deepened...Castle." Ryan started. "But seeing as...well... it did...that makes complete sense... but what does that have to do with running him over with Lanie's car?" Ryan finished.

"He needs to get in an accident. We need a reason for him to be in the hospital, so that the same procedure he had done on Kate, can be performed on him." Lanie said as the others caught on.

They all nodded but looked to Kate and Castle, his arms wrapped protectively around her middle as she pressed her back into him. "Do we have our own neurosurgeon?" Espo asked the question the two of them had also been wondering. And they both looked over at Jordan and Avery, who glanced at each other.

"We have our resources." Avery confirmed.

"So what does this mean?" Ryan asked, wanting the entire plan now drawn out, simplified.

"It means." Jordan piped in, pushing off the door frame and taking the pill from Kate again. "Alexander needs a taste of his own medicine."