I leave the front door unlocked because no matter how hard I try I can't keep my eyes open till 2345 hours. I take my meds, late of course, but I take them and I doze in and out while sitting in my easy chair. One of Ruby's quilts covers my legs and the fire keeps me warm.

Her kisses fill my face and her smile lights up the room. I must be dreaming again. I open my eyes and Vic is above me.

"Hi, sleepy head."

Without thinking, I grab her waist and pull her into my lap, my hands spread across her back and our lips meet. The warmth of her mouth is welcoming me where I belong. I want to devour her.

"Did you really come back for me?"

My eyes search hers; my fingers stroke her face, "Yes."

"Why?"

"I truly love you and I want us to have a life, a real life, together. To live, Vic, and to be alive. That is what we are for each other."

"I've never felt this way before, Walt."

"I know you haven't but we just need to relax and to trust it."

She studies my face.

"The top two drawers are yours in the bedroom and I figured you would like the right side of the closet."

"I thought you wanted me to relax?"

"I do, I just thought, well I don't know, I thought I was being thoughtful"

"You are, Walt. You are. It's me, ok it's not you."

Cleary, I did not listen to a word Henry was saying to me earlier. My brain is running into overdrive which is really only third gear because the Vicodin is working and working well. I'm trying to put the pieces together and I finally do, all of the cylinders finally fall into place and line up.

I lean forward and kiss Vic's neck and softly speak in her ear, "It's ok, baby, that vulnerability you feel, it's what love feels like. I feel it, too. I love you just the way you are. I think you are pretty amazing and of such value. I'll never hurt you on purpose, never. It's ok to love me back."

My arms tighten around her and she hugs me, hard.

"I so want to make love to you right now"

"You already are" I whisper.

We stay like that for a long time and finally Vic says, "I need to get you to bed so you can get some sleep. I'm gonna shower first and I will join you, ok?"

"ok"

"Hey, thank you for shaving and keeping the sideburns. Makes kissing you nice."

"I aim to please." I smirk and get in the bed ready for slumber but I wait for her to join me so I can sleep peacefully. Vic crawls in next to me, "So, Peggy hooked you up?"

"Yeah, she was great. Thank you very much."

"You're welcome."

"I'm coming back to work on Monday. I'll see her at her office after that."

"Are you sure you're going to be ready?"

"Yup"

"I want you back but only when you're ready. I'm thinking if things get out of this lull we can always ask Cumberland County or Montana County to lend us a deputy."

"I always knew you were smarter than me." I kiss her forehead.

"So, I'm going to ask because I want to know."

"What?"

"Are we…ah…still a secret?"

"Ha! Not after you choreographed your near fatality."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I haven't had time to think about it but now that you ask."

"Maybe it's the one time I should have kept my mouth shut"

"No, actually, I'm fine, Walt. I knew I was going to be ok with us being out for the world to see when I saw you at Tillman's Ranch. I mean," she sits up in the bed, folds her legs, faces me, "let's just get this shit out now. Sean and I got the shit beat out of us by a fuckin' sovereign extremist with a baseball bat and while I was concerned about him. I mean really concerned and I loved him, Walt you must know that but it felt entirely different. There were moments when I thought we were going to die in that basement but I knew I had to be the strong one to carry us through.

When I saw your blood," she stops and collects herself refusing to cry, "when I saw the blood filling your shirt and soaking your jeans it was different. I was fucking terrified that I was going to lose you and sitting next to you at night in the hospital, holding your hand, so you could sleep. The fact that I was the one you wanted to comfort you, it felt as if I belonged, with you and to you. My place was by your side.

I didn't give a fuck who knew or what they had to say about it but it doesn't mean that being with you isn't terrifying because it is. To know that someone else gets me, the real me, the scared little girl, the insecure woman, the overachiever who doesn't feel quite smart enough or doesn't quite fit in. That's some scary shit. That's why I want to always reign us in, it's not because I'm not in love with you, I am, and it's not because I doubt you are in love me. I know you are. It's because knowing someone else sees you for who you really are is the most dangerous position of weakness and it is the purest form of surrender and anyone who says otherwise can kiss my ass."

"It's going to be up to you whether you want to step all the way in, Vic. I can't convince you to do it. I've made up my mind about how I feel and think about us." I hold her hand. "I won't push you or force you to do or not do anything, ok."

"ok."

"Man, that's like the most words I have ever spoken to you at once."

We both laugh as she settles back in by my side.

"I'm a good listener. Says so on my business card."

"I'm glad I'm here with you."

"Me, too"

This chapter should answer lots of questions. Who knows where our couple will go from here. More chapters to follow later this week. Enjoy