Diamond

Pokemon-

Chimchar (Punchy)

Buneary (Hoppy)

Hippowdon (Sandy)

Murkrow (Poopy)

Diamond's bad at nicknames…

Pearl

Pokemon-

Piplup (Humpy)

Ponyta (Brokeback)

Staravia (Orgy)

Dawn

Pokemon-

Turtwig

Shellos

Drifloon

Jack

Pokemon

Chatot (Jesus?)

Riley

Pokemon

Gallade

Rhyperior

Regigigas

Marley

Pokemon

Crobat

Arcanine

Note from RTJ: Hello again all you sexy viewers out there. Yes, I just called you sexy. Why? Because I love you all right now even if you're an ugly chode. I'm HAPPY right now. Why am I so happy all of a sudden you ask? Because, I checked my story stats page this morning. Diamond Fists has reached over 5000 hits! When I went on hiatus for six months (because of freakin maplestory owning my soul…) I'm pretty sure I only had about 1000- 1500 hits on this story. You people like this story so much that you kept coming back to read it again and again for six months. By the time I started writing again the count was up to about 4000. And since I've only been writing for about a week now I've gotten 1000 hits in like three days. … OMGZ FREAKIN AMAZING! YAYNESS TO THE MAXEST!… uh… right… All the new hits are helping out my other stories too. Apparently, my profile has been visited almost 2000 times. My first story; Golden Flames 1 is even reaching 20000 hits, even when it's been over for almost a year! As for the other two stories, Sapphire Stories and Trial and Tribulations, they're getting more hits but not nearly as fast as Diamond Fists is. SS is reaching 3000 and Trials is at only 100… I might just delete that one… but anyway… My next goal is to reach 100 reviews. None of my stories have 100 yet even though Golden Flames is close with 97 reviews. So once again read, review and I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!!!!!! Oh and before I forget, this chapter is done from PEARL'S point of view, not Diamond's. Don't get confused by that.

"Are you ready Pearl?" Marley asked me. She, Mars and Jupiter each took out a pokeball. This was gonna be one hell of a double battle… However, I was too distracted by Mars and my dick to care about that right now. She's so freaking pretty… "Pearl? Pearl! Snap out of it!"

"Huh? What? Oh yeah right…" I reluctantly took a pokeball off of my belt. I wanted to stare at Mars some more…

"Begin!" Jupiter exclaimed. She let out a Floatzel and Mars released a Skuntank. I caught a whiff of Skuntank's foul gases. It smelled like rotten eggs, piss and unwashed vagina. Marley and I each put a hand over our noses we tossed out Arcanine and Humpy.

"Flamethrower!" Marley ordered.

"Hydro Pump!" Jupiter ordered back. The attacks collided into each other in midair. They cancelled each other out and sent steam pouring across the room. The mist blocked my view of anyone else.

"Now's your chance Pearl!" Marley cried out to me. "Do something!"

"Oh my god I think my dick just sneezed…" I muttered.

"What?!"

"Nothing!" I grabbed Humpy and dived under the mist. I could barely make out the enemy's feet. I slowly crawled over to them, trying hard not to make a sound. "Okay Humpy, use bubble- GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH HUMPY KNOCK IT OFF!" I shrieked when I realized Humpy was humping my leg again.

"Ah hah!" A hand came out of the mist and grabbed my collar. It pulled me back onto my feet. I was now face to face with Commander Mars. The mist suddenly subsided. Mars grinned at me and I froze on the spot.

"Get her now Pearl!" Marley urged.

"Uh… can I do it later?" I asked. Mars giggled at me. I realized how stupid I must look with Humpy humping my leg…

"See ya cutie. Poison gas!" She said. Skuntank released a green, fouler smelling mist around me and Humpy. Humpy fell to the floor and writhed there out of suffocation. I dropped onto my knees. The gas burned inside my chest. It blurred my vision and thoughts from the inside. I felt like I was dying until… "Flamethrower!" The entire gas cloud flashed bright orange. The ground beneath me suddenly exploded and sent me and Humpy soaring into the back of the room. We collided painfully into the wall and slumped to the ground.

"What the fuck just happened? Ooh… look at the pretty Bunearys circling my head… Hopitty hop little Buneary friends…" I said dazedly. Marley and Arcanine crouched down next to me. She was glaring furiously at me.

"What the hell is wrong with you Pearl!? Why didn't you attack her when I said so?"

"I don't really know actually. Every time I look at her my guts clench together, my knees get weak, my mouth gets dry, I lose control of my bladder, my dick gets-."

"Okay enough! I think I know what's wrong with you… You're in love with that cow over there…"

"What?! You don't understand! I'm a pimp! I don't understand what love is! And don't call her a cow!"

"Well, Don Jaun, this is the worst possible time for this love garbage! In case you haven't noticed, you're ho over there almost killed you!" She pointed over to where I was stuck in the poison gas before. A small crater formed where I once stood. The surrounding floor looked singed over. I looked down to see that both Humpy and my pants legs were burnt as well.

"How did that crater get there?"

"I'm glad you asked," Mars said. A stomach clenched when she spoke. "Skuntank's gas is highly flammable. First I trapped you and your Piplup in it and then blew you up with Skuntank's flamethrower. I like to call it Skuntank's Stink Explosion."

"You know what, that's clever. Wasn't that a clever attack? I thought it was clever, didn't you Marley?" I asked in admiration. Right now I liked everything Mars did and said. Even if it nearly killed me.

"Shut up Pearl… Pearl quit acting like an idiot and- WATCH OUT!" Skuntank and Floatzel were rushing at us with Double Edge. Arcanine stepped in front of us and took the brunt of the attacks. "Arcanine are you okay?" Marley asked. Arcanine had collapsed onto the ground. It weakly got back to its feet at the sound of Marley's voice. "Extremespeed!" It ran full speed, leaped over Mars' crater (hint hint anyone?) and rammed Floatzel into the opposite wall. It remained motionless with its eyes closed.

"Fuck. Looks like I'm out of it Mars," Jupiter said bitterly.

"Don't worry about it. This will be over soon enough," Mars said, causing another spasm from stomach.

"Hey! We beat you! You have to give us one of the passwords," Marley said to Jupiter. (Marley and Pearl still don't know that the passwords are useless)

"Right… The first one is 'Dialga'."

"What the hell's a Dialga?" I asked. "Is it some kind of fish?" Mars laughed at that a little. I made her laugh… YAYNESS!

"Hopefully you'll never live to find out…" Jupiter said under her breath.

"Since you're too horny to help out, I'll finish her off," Marley told me. She rolled her eyes at me and turned back to Arcanine. Dumb bitch…

"Toxic!" Mars said. Skuntank was too fast for Arcanine. The hairs on its long bushy tail stood on end. The very tip of the tail stabbed into Arcanine's side. Arcanine yelped and collapsed onto the floor again.

"Get up Arcanine!" Marley urged. She tried to get it back on its feet but to no avail.

"It can't get up. That side of its body was badly damaged when it got hit with Double Edge. Now toxic made it even worse. Poor, poor Arcanine," Mars said in feigned pity. She smiled even wider as Arcanine tried to get up again. When it fell again she giggled hysterically. I like that laugh… it's a sexy laugh….

"No one laughs at my Pokemon. FLAMETHROWER!" Marley shrieked at the top of her voice. Skuntank let out another poison gas cloud in front of Arcanine's jet of fire. When they both made contact, another, bigger explosion went off in the very center of the room. An even bigger crater formed in the middle. But this time the fire didn't die out. The flames spread until they formed a crescent around Arcanine, Marley and I. Marley returned Arcanine as the blaze slowly closed in on us.

"What do we do Marley?" I asked. I was beginning to panic because we were almost backed all the way into the wall. We'd have nowhere to run soon…

"What kind of dumbass are you?" She asked irritably.

"There are different kinds of dumbass now?" Marley rolled her eyes at me and pointed at Humpy.

"You have a freakin' water Pokemon with you damn it!"

"Oh yeah! Humpy use water gun!" Humpy let go of my leg and sprayed a small stream of water at the flames. It wasn't enough to put it out though… "Fuck! We're gonna die!"

"Well, I'd like to say it was a pleasure meeting you Pearl but no it really wasn't…" Marley said. We were backed up against the wall completely now.

"Well since we're gonna die I'd like to say… that I was the one who traded your unconscious body to that creepy bartender for all the free beer we could drink."

"YOU WHAT?! I'M GONNA STRANGLE YOU!"

"Well its kind of late for that isn't it?" Humpy pulled on what was left of my pant leg. I lifted him into my arms and stared at it. It looked like it was about to cry. "You did your best Humpy… Remember what I told you down at the Beach Tournament? You and I have the power of sexiness on our side! Nothing can defeat us when we're sexy!... except for now of course because let's face it… This is fucking hopeless… We're gonna die but we'll look sexy doing it!"

I don't know whether it was my words of encouragement or sheer dumb luck but Humpy started to glow brilliantly white. It began to change form in my arms until it turned into…

"PRINPLUP!" It cried out.

"Holy bacon strips! You evolved!"

"Ahem…" Marley said to get my attention.

"Oh yeah. Water gun again!" Humpy leaped out of my arms and shot an even bigger stream of water than before. This one was so big it blasted a hole through in the wall of fire in one spray. Marley and I leaped through the hole. Humpy then turned around and took out the rest of the flames.

"See what the power of sexiness has Marley?" I asked. Once again, she rolled her eyes. "You're just mad because you don't have it." An innocent giggle rang through the air. I looked around. Mars was still sitting on Skuntank's back while Jupiter was brooding in a corner. Mars got off of Skuntank and walked towards me. A wave of perfumed air came from her. How could someone who trained such a smelly Pokemon smell so damn good?

"Power of sexiness, huh? Maybe I have it too. Perhaps that's why I'm so much better than Jupiter over there," she said.

"Screw you Mars! I'm ranked higher than you!" Jupiter retorted furiously.

"Yeah, yeah…" She said ignoring her superior. "So, who would you say is sexier? Me or you?" She asked me.

"Uh…" There was no clear cut answer for this. I thought she was sexy but if I said that I'd look like a horny idiot (which I kind of am). If I said I was sexier than she'll think I'm an arrogant asshole (which I am also). Once again she laughed at me.

"Well since you can't decide we'll have the Pokemon do it for you. Whoever wins is the sexier one. Okay?"

"Um… okay…" I managed to say.

"Good… Poison gas!" She ordered. She ran back to Skuntank's side at it released the foul green gas once more. It completely encompassed me and Humpy again. The painful stinging came back as the gas found its way up my nostrils. In a few seconds I felt like I was going to black out but I had to stay up no matter what.

"Pearl! You're breathing in too much poison! You have to get out of there!" Marley shouted to me from outside the cloud of virulent (I got that word from Diamond. I wouldn't know it otherwise…) gas.

"I'm-cough- trying!" I returned Humpy back to its ball and switched to Orgy (I named him to keep up with my sex themed nicknames).

"I hate to do this to such a cute guy but duty comes first. Skuntank, flamethrower!"

"Now Orgy!" Before the gas ignited again I grabbed onto Orgy's feet. It lifted me above the cloud just before it exploded. An even bigger fire than before spread across the room. Shards of what used to be the floor and ash were sent in all directions. Black smoke replaced the sickly green one from before and dispersed across the room along with the fire. I used the resulting confusion to toss Humpy's pokeball at Skuntank from above.

"Drill peck!" I shouted. Humpy came out of its pokeball in midair and began to rotate. Its beak collided with Skuntank's face. It shuddered for a second and then collapsed onto the floor, clearly knocked out. "Kick ass!" I looked down. Jupiter and Marley had evacuated the building while Mars was getting cornered by the fire just as Marley and I were a few a minutes ago. "Water gun Humpy!" Humpy cleared a small passage for Mars to go through that led to the doorway. I rock so hard right now. Mars look bewilderedly up at me.

"You're saving me? Why?" She asked. I shrugged and smiled at her.

"Just because. You can give me a medal later. Now go before the fire takes out the passage again!" She smiled back at me.

"I'll give you more than a medal next time we meet… The password's Palkia," she said before returning Skuntank and tearing out of the door. I returned Humpy and had Orgy fly me over to the stairs. The bottom step was beginning to burn down so there wasn't much time. I returned Orgy and sprinted up the stairs to join Riley and Diamond. But right before I opened the door to get to the second floor, a terrible pain shot through my entire body. Marley was right, I did breathe in too much poison... I fell down to my knees. It was getting harder and harder to breath... The flames were slowly creeping up the stairs. I tried to crawl the rest of the way up the stairs but the poison was constricting my limbs. The world was becoming more and more hazy every second... God damn it... not here... I can't die here... Where was the power of sexiness now...? I kept struggling to get away from the flames until my arms and legs were completely paralyzed. My head was about to burst... I was slowly beginning to black out...

"Bronzong! Use Psychic!" A familiar voice said from under me. I couldn't tell who it was because my neck was paralyzed as well. The heat from the flames abruptly subsided. An unknown hand grabbed my numb arm and flipped me onto my back. I was suddenly staring into Mars' amber eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I asked weakly. She grinned.

"Returning the favor..." She said. She kissed me on my cheek. It was the only warmth left on my completely numb body. She turned to leave.

"Wait... aren't you gonna help me out here? You're not gonna leave me here are you...?"

"I'm a bad girl, sweetie.It's what I do," she said. She blew me a kiss and walked back down the stairs. I like the way she walks... I smiled again and closed my eyes as I slowly lost consciousness...

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So, Pearl's very own chapter didn't go to bad did it?

Pearl: You bet your chode ass it didn't! My chapter kicked major ass!

You don't even know what chode means asshole…

Pearl: I still can tell its offensive… What is a chode anyway?

(I point to Pearl's crotch) ALAKACHODE! (He grabs his crotch)

Pearl: What did you do?

Look and see. (He looks down his pants)

Pearl: GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! THAT'S WHAT A CHODE IS!? CHANGE IT BACK!

Okay… next chapter.

Pearl: NOOOOO! RTJ YOU COCK TEASE!

You know who else is a cock tease?

Pearl: Who?

Mars.

Pearl: No! Don't say her name around me! Just the very thought of her makes me get a boner!

Mars and Pearl sitting in a tree. S-E-X-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes sex, then comes an illegitimate child in a baby carriage!

Pearl: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!