Thanks again for all of your awesome reviews! Hope you like this chapter…sorry it's a little short! :-S
Chapter 26
MASH 4077th - June 11th, 1953 - 1:00 AM
The still really was being used that night. It had only been about an hour and a half since Hawkeye spoke to his wife, but as soon as one martini was gone, he'd just pour another one, and another one, and another one.
BJ was in Post-Op, starting his rounds, having just taken over Charles' shift. The bald, heavy-set man walked to his quarters, the craving to listen to one of his records had him humming a rather upbeat tune as he walked, even though he was tired from the night's work. He didn't like to admit it to himself, but Hawkeye had really become a pretty close friend in this hell he was shanghaied into. When he had congratulated the new father earlier after watching the film with everyone else, he truly meant what he said. He was very happy for the chief surgeon, and sympathized with him the fact that he couldn't be with his new family. The pompous major was actually willing to do whatever it took to help his…friend…cope with being apart from his loved ones.
Coming a little closer to the Swamp, it looked like maybe he would have to try and help a little earlier than he had expected, or prepared for. Through the screen, he could see his tent-mate at the table where the still sat, pouring himself a glass of the homemade gin. It didn't look like it was just his first drink of the night, either. Hawkeye's eyes were visibly blood shot, even through the screen from where Winchester stood, about two yards away. The jar of olives that had been pretty much full when he left for Post-Op duty earlier that afternoon was about half empty by now, and it was a medium sized container as far as olive jars went. The man's black hair was a mess and his shoulders were drooping. 'Oh good heavens…' Charles thought.
Hawkeye took a seat back on his cot before taking a sip of his martini. The door opened and he looked up. The room was still stationary since he wasn't quite drunk enough to not feel anything…yet. "Charles." He nodded toward the man at the door in a 'welcoming' gesture.
"Pierce, what are you doing?" Winchester tried to be gentle in his small interrogation, but the question may have come out a little harsher than he would have liked.
"What am I doing?" The tone in the doctor's voice made it seem like it was a stupid question, "What I'm doing is trying to drown my sorrows…my wife just had twins a couple weeks ago…I've been a dad for two weeks and didn't know… I know drinking all of this won't make me feel better and it won't get me home, but I'm just trying feel better." With that, Hawkeye gulped down the rest of the drink in one shot, chasing it down with the olive he had slid off the toothpick.
Sure, he may have contradicted himself, but the point got through to the other man, still standing at the doorway in his lab coat. "How many is that?"
"I dunno." Pierce shrugged, "eight…maybe ten"
Charles sighed. Ten drinks in about an hour and a half… "Don't you think you should be done with that stuff for awhile?"
"Would you be if you were in my place?" He asked, almost sadistically.
The question hit him hard. Would he be able to quit drinking if he was in the same situation that his friend was in? Now he was the only one in the Swamp who didn't know what it was like to really be in love and to be a world apart from the one you love more than anything else in the world. Of course he was a world away from his mother, his father, and his sister Honoria, but that was hardly the same thing. Clearing his throat, he reached for the glass that was in Hawkeye's hand, snatching it from him easily, the alcohol messing with the man's reflexes, even though he wasn't all that drunk. "Why are you drinking Pierce?" He tried, very hard, to be calm and helpful… "It's not going to get you home and it's not going to make you feel better. You said it yourself."
The man in question looked over at the balding Swamp Rat angrily for a moment. Then his expression turned to one of more sadness than anger. "You just can't understand this Charles. BJ can't understand what I'm going through…Potter can't understand it…Klinger can't understand it, and God knows Father Mulcahy can't understand it either. There's no one here that's really knows what I'm going through. BJ got to meet little girl before he had to come here via the American travel agency that just does such a great job…"
"Hawkeye," it was the second time he had ever used his colleague's 'real' name, and both times were in the same day… "I know that none of us have had to deal with what you're going through, and we can all appreciate that, but you just have to remember that you are going to see your children one day. You know how the peace talks are going. For once they seem to be heading in the right direction. Who knows? You might be kissing Margaret for the first time as mother and father in a month or two. You'll see Alicia and Michael before long. You've got more rotation points than anyone here, you're the closest one to that doorway. You deserve the key to that door very much so, but drinking this homemade hooch won't lead the way to what you need. It'll harm you more and could even lessen your chance of ever meeting your son and daughter in the first place. You're a doctor Pierce, you know what drinking so much in so little time can do to you. It's a big risk and it won't drive all of your pains away anyway. Why risk it?"
Hawkeye looked over toward his empty glass, the bare toothpick resting on the side. "I don't mean to sound redundant, but I just wanna be there…I wanna hold my wife in my arms…and my kids of course! It's not fair Charles, it's just not fair."
"I'd have to agree with that completely." The Bostonian surgeon took a seat on his bunk.
Hawkeye stiffly bent down to take his boots off along with his socks, "I'll tell you what else isn't fair…the amount of cold showers I've had to take in the past six months. It's a good thing there's not much for warm water around here…if you get my drift."
Chuckling, 'Chuckles' nodded, "Yes, I think I do know what you mean by that. Had to be tough on you Pierce, going from getting what you love all the time to none at all…" For really the first time, that Hawkeye had seen, the third Swamp Rat's eyes sparkled in fun. Well, he had seen it before, but not when he had been talking to him, at least not much.
"It is hard!" He laughed, although he was really hurting inside. Hawkeye's voice got softer and a little slower and separated. "I miss running my fingers through her soft hair, and the way it smells. I have her old hat close by all the time, but it's not the same… It's starting to smell more like canvas than anything else." He maneuvered himself so he was lying down on his cot, his arms folded behind his head, "I miss feeling her soft skin under my fingertips and feeling the goose-bumps she got when I kissed her neck…and the way her lips felt warm and soft on mine and the way they tasted like…strawberries almost. I miss feeling her weight on me when we slept in her cot all the time. And the way her eyes lit up whenever we talked about the baby…well I guess that was about the babies. And then we can't forget my other favorite part, but you probably don't want to hear about that."
Charles listened intently, knowing that just being there to listen would help his friend more than anything…well, a discharge from the Army would help more, but he couldn't exactly do that. If he could, he'd be on his way back to Boston faster than it would take to sign all of the paperwork. "True… Though I have to say, I'm pretty proud of you."
"You're proud of me? Those are four words I never expected to hear you say, especially talking to me while saying 'em." Leaning up on his elbow, Hawkeye could get a better view of the man that had really sort of flattered him, "What for?"
"For being faithful to Margaret. She was hurt very much by that Donald Penobslob and I'm just proud of you for not doing what he did…especially since you were once quite the womanizer."
Hawkeye understood, "I would never do anything to hurt Margaret. I'd never be able to live with myself if I did. I love her with all my heart and would never betray her. When she called me from Tokyo all that time ago…I felt my heart breaking for her. And I felt like killing that Lieutenant Colonel Jackass and I'm a pretty peaceful guy. I hate all the killing in this stupid war, but then it just seemed fitting and necessary because of what he did to my Margaret. I…I just…I just can't believe that anyone would do that to her."
"Nor can I…to anyone. But nonetheless, I'm happy that you're being faithful to her. Like I said, I'm proud of you."
Smiling, the temporarily celibate physician replied, "Thanks Charles."
4:00 A.M.
BJ stumbled, sleepily, into the Swamp and collapsed on his cot, waking Charles up. "You're home early." The ordinarily arrogant doctor mumbled, still half asleep.
"Things were going smoothly in Post-Op…Kellye said she could take care of everything for the rest of my shift." BJ spoke into his pillow, but was still understandable.
"Didn't happen to see Pierce while you were out there, did you?"
"No, why?"
Yawning, Charles turned over in his cot, "He left a couple hours ago, didn't say where he was going."
Rising rigidly from his bunk, BJ headed for the door, "I'm gonna try to go find him. He's pretty depressed, no saying what he'll try to get outta here."
"Good luck." Winchester mumbled and fell back asleep.
It may have been June, but the night air, or rather the very early morning air, felt cold. BJ stopped in the middle of the make-shift basketball court and looked around. His first thought was going over to Rosie's, but it was actually dark inside the building. Then, he looked back toward the Officer's Club. Thinking that might be a better chance, the mustache clad Swamp Rat made his way over to the metal building.
The door creaked as it opened. The only light in the 'club' was coming from the juke box and there was obviously no one in there. Even Igor had closed up. Of course, he didn't lock it, but that was pretty usual seeing as how he was pretty drunk when he left every night. 'Must be fun running this place…' BJ mused, turning on the light to make sure Hawkeye really wasn't in the building. After checking behind the counter, he was satisfied and turned to leave, swinging the door closed behind him.
Something in the camp's main building caught his attention. BJ headed toward Potter's office and saw a soft, grey light while he was in Radar's bit of the building. Tip-toeing past the sleeping company clerk, he made sure to keep his big feet clear of the silhouetted furniture, not wanting to stub his toes. Looking through the Plexiglas windows in the doors, BJ found missing friend. The whirr of the projector could be heard from behind the wooden panels and the images of Margaret, Daniel, and the twins went through the screen. Hawkeye sat behind the Colonel's desk, resting his head in his hands and watching the film longingly. A small smile was on the chief surgeon's face and, seeing the backward version of what his best friend was watching, one spread on BJ's as well.
BJ brought his hand up to push the door open and go in to talk to the new father, but felt a hand on his shoulder. He jumped, startled by the sudden presence in the room. "Easy Hunnicutt." Colonel Potter whispered, "Just thought I would come and see what's going on in my office."
"How'd you find out? I just saw the light in here while I was looking for Hawkeye."
"I didn't. I've been trying to get to sleep for about four hours and just can't do it…my sleeping pills are in my office."
"Wouldn't it be easier having those in your tent?" BJ whispered back.
Used to having to answer that question, Sherman just laughed, "Too easy."
"Ah, gotcha."
"So…I'm guessing that Pierce in my office?"
"Right, he's watching the film again. I don't hear the commentary though, must just be watching it to see his kids…" A sad tone entered the younger man's voice.
Potter nodded, "Yeah, I could understand that." The older, grey-haired man thought about something long and hard before speaking up, "Listen BJ…can I talk to you about something?"
"Uh...sure Colonel. What is it?"
The C.O. started walking toward the door and motioned for his colleague to follow. When they were outside, he spoke up, "Let's go to the Swamp…we should discuss this with Charles too."
"Uh-hu…" He was understandably confused about the way his 'father figure' was acting, but followed, a little worried about all that was going on.
About an hour later Hawkeye was watching the film for about the fifth time in the office. While it was playing through the rest before the parts with Margaret, his dad, and his kids, he'd think about everything going on in his life. Then he'd get depressed again and want a drink from the Colonel's liquor cabinet. He kept thinking about what Charles had said though and knew he wasn't just trying to keep him from getting too drunk and out of control. All the booze that he'd want to drink to drown his sorrows would be pretty bad for him and, being the doctor he was, he knew that having way too much like he would, could lead to some pretty big consequences…maybe even irreversible, devastating ones.
No, he decided that he was pretty much on the wagon from now on. Maybe a little celebratory drink every now and then, but his binging was done. He had a family now, he couldn't be that care-free bachelor anymore. Of course, for the past six and a half months he wasn't a bachelor, very faithful to his wife - no matter how many cold showers it took, tried his hardest to be a family man in training, and yet hit the still a few times too many.
He was in a lot of pain, not being able to see his brand new family for however long, but every time he saw his son and daughter's sweet faces and his wife's beautiful smile, he felt stronger and stronger about jumping on the wagon. He could get past anything that got in his way if he just kept thinking about those two little faces, about the first time he'd be able to hold his brand new babies, and about the next time he'd be able to look into his wife's sparkling blue eyes and feel her soft skin and do everything he missed doing with her, and do all the things he missed out on while half a world separated them. Even though his pain was caused by not being able to see his family, the help for getting through the pain would also come from them. Not a bottle of booze.
Looking up, he saw the outside of the hospital in New York City again and turned his full attention to the screen, smiling from ear to ear when he saw his wife smiling back at him…
MASH 4077th - June 11th, 1953 - 5:30 P.M.
"You wanted to see me Colonel?" Hawkeye entered the room, sat down and put his feet up on the C.O.'s desk in normal Hawkeye fashion. His shoulders were drooped, still pretty depressed.
"That I did," Colonel Potter took a seat from where he was by the filing cabinet. "Hey Radar!"
The short corporal swung the door open and stepped inside the room, carrying his clipboard and a file in his left hand. "Here's that paperwork you wanted."
"Good, can I get that paperwork I wanted?" Realizing that Radar had just said that he had what he wanted, he cleared his throat, "Right, thanks Corporal."
Hawkeye just chuckled at the show. "I'm not interrupting anything am I?" It didn't really matter how depressed he was, hearing Radar's double talk could make him laugh. With that, the young man went back to his part of the office to fill out the morning report.
"Of course not, I'd like to talk to you about something." There was something in the older man's eyes that looked playful, like he was trying to hide something…something needing to be shared.
"Uh oh...that doesn't sound too good." Pierce played along.
The Colonel laughed while he took his glasses off to rub his eyes quick, "I've talked this over with everyone, except for Casey, and they all agree that I should give you this." He pushed the file folder over to the edge of his desk.
He opened the off-white file, and the captain's eyes grew wide. "Really?"
Potter nodded, "For the two and a half years that I've been here, you've been the best damn surgeon I've ever seen. You disserve that discharge. I've arranged it so you now have all your points. You were damn close to it anyway. Margaret needs you now more than we do, especially if those twins are anything like their daddy."
"Uh...thanks, Colonel." Hawkeye had to speak through the lump in his throat. Plus he really didn't know really what to say. "Are...are you sure I can have this? I mean...BJ...his family and..."
"BJ was in on it too, Pierce." The honorary grandfather smiled fatherly and a playful tone entered his voice, "We all want you outta here, Captain!"
Hawkeye laughed, "Oh I want me outta here too." He shook his head, "I don't believe it...I…I'm going home..."
"Congratulations, son."
One of his dreams had finally come true, he was going home..."When do I leave?"
"Tomorrow afternoon." The colonel laughed at the look on his chief surgeon's face, "I'd say you'll be home in time to welcome Margaret and your dad back and help get your kids accustomed to their new home sweet home."
Hawkeye just leaned back in the chair he sat in across from the C.O. and sighed happily, "You know, I've had the day I go home planned out for a loooong time...Ever since Margaret went stateside."
Colonel Potter got up and went over to his liquor cabinet to get two glasses and a bottle of scotch, "Well, how about you tell me all about it over a drink?"
Hawkeye remembered about the previous night's 'jumping on the wagon' promise to himself, but decided that this really was a celebratory drink, "Sounds good." The sparkle finally found its place back in the handsome blue eyes, "So...can I call you Sherman now that I'm pretty much done with the Army?"
"Don't mind if you do." The old surgeon in question winked, raising his shot glass, "To your new family."
The new family man smiled proudly and clicked his glass to children's stand-in grandfather, "Cheers."
Well, sorry it took SOOOOO long to write and it's so short, but there ya have it! Don't worry, the story's not over yet! :-D Thanks for all of your AWESOME reviews for chapter 25 and for all of your support. I'd also like to thank Lissy again for being such an awesome opinion-giver and to Bev for giving me the idea about the whole 'cold shower' thing! ;-) THANKS! And, I really hope you liked this chapter. Please tell me what you thought and I'll try to update again soon, but school's getting harder in the fourth quarter. (ANYBODY KNOW WHERE THE HELL I'M GONNA USE ALGEBRA II AFTER HIGH SCHOOL?!?!?!?!?!) Ugh. Have I mentioned how much I hate that place?
Thanks again for reading! Click the button! :-] Please?