I'm baaaack! I joked about not having internet in England, but the in-laws had just switched their provider- we didn't have internet for a week! Ah, first world problems...

Go, go, go, go go, go, go, shawty
It's your birthday
We gon' party like it's yo birthday
We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday
("In Da Club" 50 Cent)

Ben groaned and scrubbed his face with his hands. It had been two days since Rey had kissed him, clearly having given into her more primal urges. Unfortunately, she was back to her platonic friendly self immediately afterwards. At least she wasn't completely ignoring him! They had talked... never about anything important, and never alone.

Though, Ben was groaning for a different reason on this particular morning. Today was the day he had been dreading, especially if he were to be still stuck on Carcaso with his mother. He was, still stuck that is, so he wanted to hide in his room all day. Like a teenager. And that was just it- he was far from being a teenager anymore. He was thirty. Today was his birthday.

He hoped an early arrival for breakfast would mean that he would be able to avoid everyone he knew. He had memorized Rey's (and company) staple daily schedule- mealtimes, work times, breaks, nightly social activities... None of them would be up this early.

Ben was the first one to arrive for breakfast, besides those making the breakfast of course; however, the Dream Team (he hated that nickname, for only Rey was a dream!) filed in not long after he had started eating. He wasn't too worried, as they never sat with him. Now he just had to finish eating before Sven or his mother came to embarrass him. Pogba, he knew, would never do anything to bring unwanted attention.

It's like she knew. Not that it was his birthday- she's the one who had squeezed him out into the world, after all- but that he'd be here this early. He saw Leia enter with a soft smile on her face, eyes scanning the room. Ben slunk down in his seat and covered his face with a large hand, even though he knew his efforts were futile. He was a huge, pale, raven-haired man. He kind of stood out. Especially here. Especially to his force sensitive mother.

"Ben," Leia called when she spotted him and made her way in his direction.

He removed the hand that was covering his face to nervously glance around to see if she had caught the attention of the room. Of course she had! The Dream Team had looked up and followed her with their eyes with great curiosity. Poe and Finn whispered to each other, and when his eyes found Rey, she was looking at him. She offered a small smile and a nod before returning to her meal.

Leia took the empty seat next to him and tried to resist the urge to move a stray hair of his back in place. She failed, fingers lingering a bit too long. He huffed his annoyance.

"Thirty years," she whispered. "I can hardly believe it. Time moves so quickly! How do you feel? Any older?" she asked with a wink.

"No different than yesterday. Or the day before that," he answered with a hint of annoyance from the hair incident in his tone. He was thankful, however, that she was kind enough to whisper their conversation. Maybe he would get away with hiding his birthday from the others.

"Ben!" Sven's booming voice sounded through the room.

Oh no.

"Happy birthday, old balls!" Sven laughed and slapped him on the back- hard! He then took the free seat on the other side of Ben.

No no no no!

"Thirty is no joke! I, of course, am still merely in my youthful 20s."

"You're twenty days younger than I am..." Ben pointed out, rising to Sven's attempt to get him out of his grumpy mood.

"Yes...but as kids you would tease me that you were older than I was! Oh, how the tables have turned. I will enjoy these twenty days, old man."

Leia smiled, enjoying Ben and Sven's banter. She could almost imagine that they were a whole family again. Almost.

"What do you want to do?" Sven asked as he took some of Ben's food that he obviously wasn't going to eat. "Let's go to town! Let's going drinking!" He suggested excitedly before Ben could even reply.

"Now?" Ben asked skeptically, almost thinking the answer would be 'no.'

"Day drinking!"

"Absolutely not."

"Come on! Loosen up for one day," Sven pleaded. "We'll go to town, day drink, and you'll be sober...ish by dinner," he smiled triumphantly at his plan.

Ben thought about it for all of two seconds. "No."

"It would be good for you to get out a bit, Ben," Leia began to assist Sven on trying to get her son to celebrate his birthday.

"Ok, let me repeat to you both this truly idiotic plan of Sven's, and then you can tell me if it still sounds like a good idea. You want me, the Supreme Leader- the probably much hated Supreme Leader, to go into a town full of strangers, who, again, most likely hate me, and proceed to drink the day away, most likely getting drunk around these people who hate me, and then maybe accidentally kill those people. Yeah, we've got a winner of a day planned..."

"Just leave the lightsaber here," Sven suggested with a smile. "And maybe you can wear a hat."

"A hat?" Ben asked blandly.

"Yeah, as a disguise."

"I don't think a hat would be a very good disguise..."

"Out of the kindness of my heart, I'll happily cut your hair! That would really change your look!" Sven smiled like he had solved the galaxy's greatest problem.

"Don't you dare cut his hair!" Leia exclaimed in mild horror, protectively placing a hand on Ben's head, which earned a glare from Ben to Sven.

"I second that," Rey spoke up, joining the table. She kept her eyes on Ben and asked, "it's your birthday? Why didn't you say anything?"

"Why would I? No one really cares," he shrugged, "least of all me! It's just another day. I'm just another year older."

"Actually, you really should celebrate... I mean, no one thought you'd live this long!" She teased him.

"Thwarted all of your efforts..." He muttered, smirking.

"And, most importantly, you're our esteemed Supreme Leader. The galaxy should be celebrating this wondrous occasion! Shall you require a parade?" Rey continued her teasing.

"Maybe Hux could give one of his lovely speeches!" Sven joined in on teasing him.

"Maybe fireworks?" Leia suggested. No one could tell if she was teasing or not. Ben certainly hoped so!

"Back to reality... I am completely sure that I want none of that. Furthermore, I'd prefer to just hide away and be ignored as I have every other year," Ben informed them.

"Nope. That is not an option this year," Sven told him. "We are finally free from Snoke's power over us. We are allowed to have a teeny tiny little bit of fun. For your birthday. I will not back down. Do not force me to throw you a party wherein I force everyone in this civilization to be there."

Ben, Leia, and Rey just looked at him in varying degrees of surprise, and a touch of annoyance on Ben's part.

"Or... we can go to town, just the two of us- I mean, Pogba can come if he wants but I don't see him wanting to-"

"I don't want to..." Ben interrupted.

"-and get drunk!" Sven continued without minding what Ben said.

"Or... just stay here. There are several empty rooms or there are nice places outside. Poe can show you," Rey suggested. Then added, "You didn't hear this from me, especially you, Leia, but Poe is also the keeper of spirits. Wines, whiskeys, anything you could want, Poe has it or can get it!"

"That's a good idea," Leia nodded. "Plus, it would be nice for you all to become friendly with each other. Poe will be your main ally here."

"Rey is my main ally here, so I don't think that I'll need to spend anymore time than necessary with Dameron," Ben argued, carefully keeping his eyes on his mother.

"I will!" Sven, of course, volunteered.

"You just want free alcohol," Ben explained Sven's noble cause for what it really was.

"True...but he seems like a solid guy. I wouldn't mind expanding my group of acquaintances." He smiled triumphantly.

"Ben, please just spend some time with my friends," Rey asked seriously. "Part of our...issue is your jealousy regarding the other people I love. Maybe if you get to know them, you'll see why they're my family."

Ben felt all eyes of their little foursome on him. He sighed deeply, dragging it out as long as possible. "Fine," he conceded.

The other three didn't wait for him to say anything else before looking positively gleeful and chattering over each other, to each other, and to Ben. Leia summoned Poe, who donned the expression of a schoolboy in trouble. They (all except Ben) relayed all information that Poe needed to help celebrate Ben's birthday. Poe looked about as happy as Ben did, but he was relieved that he wasn't in trouble, which made Leia wonder what he had done...

Soon Poe recruited (required, to be be truly honest) Finn and Snap to join in preparations. Finn glared at Rey, who in turn happily shrugged as a response. Leia insisted on being invited to the beginning of the little party and left in search of cake. Rey, Conni, and Rose were also required to be present as long as Leia was there. She made sure they knew that this was an order and not a request. Rey found it all amusing - nothing like forcing people who didn't really like, or know, each other to socialize. Sven, Rey, and Leia were the only three who were genuinely happy for this to happen.

"Oh, I'll just have water," Conni was telling Sven as he was going around getting drink orders for Poe to fill.

Rey was relieved that she wouldn't be the only one drinking water, but was surprised that Conni, the queen of day drinking when possible, had chosen water. Rey had used the excuse of needing to stay sober to make sure Ben stays in line. Ya know, in case she had to use the force or whatever on him. She felt that it was a good excuse, even if Sven did roll his eyes at her and Ben protested that he'd be just fine, thank you very much!

"You mentioned something about accidentally killing townsfolk earlier... I'm not risking my friends!" Rey informed Ben.

He rolled his eyes at her. "I wasn't going to kill anyone. I was just trying to get out of this whole thing. If you recall, I'm not really a social person."

"That's a bit of an understatement," Rey laughed.

"Exactly. I'm not trusting either, so allowing Sven to get me drunk with strangers is slightly terrifying."

"It will be fine," Rey patted his shoulder, "as long as you're not torture-probing their minds or slicing their backs up with your lightsaber, I think this will actually go ok."

"Well, I didn't bring my lightsaber, so that's half of the threat solved!" he smirked. "Though, I can kindly ask for you to not probe minds either."

"I don't probe minds! Except yours...that one time! And, it was an accident. And, you deserved it!" She defended her actions.

"True..." He agreed with another smirk and took a drink of something much too sweet for his liking.

"So...thirty..." Rey began on a new tangent. "That's a full decade between us now!" She smiled widely, trying not to laugh. She could tell that Ben was mildly uncomfortable with their age difference, but she found it thoroughly amusing. She couldn't help but to tease him. "Me, a mere teenager. You, a thirty-year-old full grown man!"

Ben groaned. "Alright, just stop. I know you think me an old pervert at this point! But, I didn't know you were so young when I started having feelings for you. Besides, this age difference isn't out of the norm for me. My father was even older than my mother compared to us."

"Ah, so it must be that Solo blood that desires a younger woman," she laughed and winked at him, sipping on her fizzy water.

"Probably," he agreed. "The Skywalker bit would have had me with an older woman or alone."

Rey had the urge to comfort him again about not being alone, but found that she couldn't bring herself to be that nice to him quite yet.

"Please tell me that you hadn't just turned nineteen when we first met," Ben said, still trying to find some sort of peace with their age difference.

"No. I hadn't just turned nineteen when you chased me down and kidnapped me," Rey said teasingly, though she did want to remind him that they didn't just 'meet' in the normal way that other people who fall in love did. "I'll actually be twenty in exactly thirty days from today. So, ten years and thirty days is our exact age difference. Feel better about it now?"

"A bit."

"Rey," Conni interrupted their conversation with Rose in tow, "let the man mingle. Keeping him to yourself is not the point of this gathering. Besides, Poe is genuinely trying to be friendly. He and Sven are acting like they've forever friends."

"Ok, ok," Ben spoke up before Rey could, "I'll go be social with Dameron."

After Ben was our of earshot, Conni stole his seat and leaned in very close to Rey's ear to whisper, "I have a secret." Rose pulled up another chair to huddle closely.

"Does it have to do with why Poe looks shifty?" Rey asked. She was excited that someone else had a secret for a change!

Conni nodded. "You know how we thought you were pregnant?"

Rey looked uncomfortable but nodded. She wondered if they had figured her out...

"Well, I'm the one who is pregnant," Conni informed her.

Rose stared at Rey to gauge her reaction, which was shock. Rey was so hung up on her own issues that she completely missed the signs that her friend was having the same problem. However, Conni and Poe were at least in a loving relationship. The father of her child was...well, Ben. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, master of the Knights of Ren, darksider, enemy-but-maybe-not-so-much-anymore of the Resistance. So a tad more complicated! She felt a hint of jealousy creep into her mind, but she quickly pushed it away for it was a useless emotion.

"I guess this is what I get for teasing you!" Conni continued in the absence of a vocal reaction from Rey. "Poe is excited, though. He's also nervous that Leia will find out and make us leave and go live like normal people in town."

"Maybe you should," Rose made her opinion known. "You have another life to think about now. If you all stay with the Resistance, either or both of you could be killed."

Rey could tell that Rose was passionate about this and had probably already been trying to convince Conni to tell Leia and move to town.

"I could move..." Conni began, "but I wouldn't want to take Poe away from this. It's his cause. It's all he's been working for. I also don't want him to feel like he has to choose because he doesn't."

Ignoring this part of the conversation because Rey really felt that it was up to Conni and Poe, she finally had voice to some of her thoughts, "how has it been? Have you felt sick? Or tired? Anything?"

Conni smiled, relieved that Rey wasn't going to join Rose's cause. "I've been sick a few times, always tired, and could probably eat all the cheese in existence!"

Rey wanted to say "me too!" but knew she couldn't. This could be an experience she could go through with a friend. She didn't have to go it alone. But, no. Hers had to remain a secret. Even though she thought her friends would be supportive, news of an heir to the Supreme Leader would get out, and Rey feared for her and her child's safety. She knew people (Hux specifically) would come for her to get to Ben. That was a whole new level of danger to bring down on the Resistance. Maybe she should leave. Go back to Ahch-To to raise her child in secret. Again, no. She couldn't do that. She never wanted to be lonely again now that she had a sort of family, and she wouldn't condemn her child to a lonely life either. It would also be wrong to keep the child's existence from Ben and Leia. It's just not something she could ever do in the long term. Keeping this secret for the present was difficult enough!

"Cheese sounds good," Rey settled on an appropriate reply. "Maybe we can find some for the purpose of this party."

"What's a party without snacks?!" Rose chimed in. "We need snacks!" She loudly told Poe, who was now the official- appointed- party planner.

"Yeah, we need need to line those bellies with food so you all don't get too drunk too quickly or get sick!" Rey added.

Poe nodded, knowing the true reason, and sent Finn and Sven to gather snacks. Leia was making Pogba help her with cake placement, and Ben and Poe were making small talk. All in all, Rey's plan for peace was doing fairly well, thanks to Ben's impromptu birthday party.

A firm knock at Rey's door woke her from her evening nap. She rolled off the bed and answered the door with sleepy eyes.

"You need to come get your boy," a slightly inebriated Poe told her, leaning on the doorframe. "Ben is really drunk. Like, more than me drunk. Luckily, he's a slap-happy 'iluvyooou' drunk person. So, good luck with that. I need to go sober myself up, and I don't really want to deal with him, if I'm honest."

"Ok...is he still in the party room?" Rey asked, not sure whether to be amused or annoyed.

"Yep. He's in there all alone," Poe replied, he then looked perplexed. "Well, I hope he's still in there. That's where I left him, but he does have legs."

Rey didn't wait for any other stupid comments to come out of Poe's mouth, she marched off to retrieve Ben. She entered the room slowly and spotted him immediately. He was sat on a couch with a drink in one hand and eating a handful of cake.

"My Rey of sunshine!" he declared upon seeing her. "Come! Eat the cake! It is wonderful!"

Rey smiled, "Hello, Ben. Seems like you are enjoying that cake." There were crumbs and icing stuck to his face.

"It's almost as delicious as you are." He smiled back.

"I'm glad to see that your mood has improved," Rey told him and took a seat next to him.

"Yes, well, I took your advice to enjoy being alive. I'm sure I won't be for much longer," he informed her with a mouthful of cake. He brushed her cheek, leaving a small trail of icing behind. He leaned in to lick it off.

"I think you've defeated the fiercest of foes at this point. I'm sure you'll live for a while longer, yet!" She pushed him away gently and wiped the icing off of her own cheek.

"I'm talking about the hole in my heart left by you, my pretty pretty Rey!" He explained with a pout.

Rey fixed him with her best perturbed look and crossed her arms. "I believe you mean my heart, and the hole was caused by you!"

"I apologized!" he defended himself.

"I will not argue with a drunk man, but I will not let you twist facts around to suit your needs." Rey also couldn't argue with a man who had bits of cake on his face. Anything she would say couldn't be taken seriously if she was holding in laughter.

"What must I do to get you to forgive me, to take me back?" Ben asked, the desperation clear in his voice.

As much as she didn't want to discuss this now, rehashing well trod ground, it was a rare time that they had alone. And, it seemed, he would not let the subject drop.

"I don't know," she told him honestly. "That is, I have forgiven you, but I don't know that we can be together again. I want to be clear that I have forgiven you for me and my need to move on, and not to ease your guilt."

"Well then, do the same to me. Find pleasure with another man," he, stupidly, suggested, obviously hoping she would do no such thing.

Rey scoffed. "I am not vindictive. Besides, there are several reasons why that mode of punishment for you would not be possible. I would not use another poor soul for my own selfish pleasure as you have. Furthermore, every man that I know is too terrified of you, and Poe for that matter, to even think of me in that way. And, most importantly, I love you. That is what you fail to realize. I cannot wrap my head around what you did because I love you so much that doing something like that would never occur to me! The fact that you could do something like that lets me know that you cannot love me as you claim to, and I will not settle for someone who does not truly love me. I need that above anything else. You know my insecurities, my parents never loved me. I will be loved completely or not at all."

"I do love you completely!" he continued to argue. "I have left the First Order, abandoned my ship, come to reconcile with my mother, and form a truce with the Resistance, all because of you. Not for you. Not simply because you want me to, but you have instilled morality back into my soul. I want to be good. I want to be good enough for you. I know I betrayed you, left you when you undoubtedly needed me most, but I never stopped loving you. I was afraid. Afraid to end up like my parents. Afraid to completely ruin you like I do everything else. I should stay away from you. I should encourage you to be free of me, but I am selfish and just can't do it. I need you, Rey, and I know that I can make you happy if you give me the chance to."

Rey had never wanted to kiss him and make everything go away more in her life! However, he was drunk, and this discussion didn't mean much since he wouldn't probably wouldn't remember it tomorrow.

"How about," Rey began calmly, "I help you to your room and we'll talk more once you're sober."

Ben nodded and allowed her to help him to his feet. They stumbled down his hallway, and he leaned against the wall, staring at her dreamily, as Rey pushed her way through his door. He followed her into the room closely. Ben flopped onto his bed, but he had grabbed her arm and pulled her down with him.

"Cuddle me," he insisted.

Rey bit back a chuckle. "Oh, I suppose..." she said and wrapped her arms around him.

It didn't take long for them to both drift off to a peaceful sleep.

Star Wars: The Next Generation... Poe and Ben's kids are gonna be besties! Ooohhh - or, maybe they'll get married! Jk... No one thinks that far... They're totally gonna get married. I mean, in my head. There's no way I'm writing that far into the future! Epilogue? :-D

Author's New Year therapy session:

Man, y'all... I just don't know how I'm going to, entertainment-wise, make it through 2019, as it will be here tomorrow! I'm excited and scared at the same damn time. Why did the gods (be they the old gods, the seven, Norse, or even just the force) choose 2019 to put an end to all of my favorite things?! The Sequel Trilogy is the least of my problems! I've only loved these (new) characters for 3 years... but Tony, Steve, Thor? Jon, Dany, Arya? That trailer for Avengers: Endgame has me feeling all pessimistic. I don't trust the Russo Bros. to spare my faves, and I don't trust JJ either! I'm not even going to mention the lack of trust in Game of Thrones... It'd be like trusting Hux- that's just silly! I swear, they better not hurt Drogon! #ImInAGlassCaseOfEmotion