93. Frisk said that he's been praying. For everyone, including me. He said for me he prays for peace. I don't know what he's talking about. Am I not peaceful enough? I haven't killed anyone recently. Does that not count as peace?

I've been keeping to myself, nowadays... but WHY won't Frisk play with me!? Sometimes we play Monsters vs. Humans with pool noodles but he won't attack me. He just sits there and gives his pool noodle to me. I bonked him on the head with it a few times, but he's so braindead he STILL won't attack. He'd rather take it than let other people suffer. Didn't anyone tell him this was just PRETEND!? I should've known better than to try with the likes of HIM.

I hit Papyrus with a pool noodle but it's not the same. He's not human. And I don't know any other humans that I'd be comfortable with. Besides you, Chara. At least if I hit you with a pool noodle, you'd fight back.

94. Why didn't I catch this SOONER? Why is it that whenever Frisk RESETS that this thing doesn't just erase what I wrote that day? It keeps it right where I left off. That's odd. Does Frisk know about this? I'd tell him, but I don't like him reading my stuff. So forget it.

95. I think I'll put this in here. This is the third night in a row that Frisk holds me before going to bed. Chara, remember when we used to sleep in the same bed back when I'd have nightmares? I know you didn't like it, but it reminded me of that. After Toriel tucks Frisk in, we just sit there and talk. Usually about life and stuff.

Frisk said the bullying at school has died down since the incident and that even the monsters kids stand up for him. Toriel's been helping, too. She's a teacher at his school, so she lectured the kids. I prayed they didn't die of boredom. Frisk threw me off with something. He mumbled out that he was sorry. Sorry about everything. I looked up at him and asked him what he meant by that.

Then Frisk threw himself on the bed, crying, "WAH! I'm not a good friend! I should've been more patient with you! Now you're all depressed and it's all my fault!" Silly human. I'm ALWAYS depressed. He kept on going, saying, "I'm sorry for putting you through all of this and for making you watch me suffer. I just wanted to give you a happy ending. I didn't want you to hurt anymore. I want you to be at peace."

I was silent. I could've said something, but I chose not to. I like Frisk, Chara. I truly do. I can't actually care about him, but between you and I, I really wanted him to be happy. Yet all I've seen so far was him being thrown into the back of an ambulance car. All because of me. I admit it's my fault. Frisk should have never brought me up here in the first place. All I'm good for is causing trouble.

What part of me could possibly be worth SAVING, anyway? Before I became a flower, I had everything. Loving parents, a warm home, a purpose for living. I always dreamed that when I'd become king that I was going to free all the monsters and that there would be peace and prosperity forever! I was so grateful to meet someone like you, Chara. You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Not only were you my best friend, but my parents saw a lot of hope in you. We thought you would free everyone and you even tried to do just that. I just wish you didn't have to die in order to do it. And when we were in the village... after I lied you down... I don't regret not killing anyone anymore, but sometimes I wish I stayed dead.

Now, I have nothing. I've lost my family, my identity, my SOUL... I've even lost my grasp of reality. Tell me, Frisk. Since I see you've been having your fun. How does it feel to know NOTHING matters anymore? That if you wanted, you make the WHOLE WORLD your personal play pen? Or maybe not. Maybe we're all just figments of your imagination.

Frisk, I've lived through life, already. Actually, I've lived through life a MILLION times. It wouldn't bother me to leave. I'm just scared though. Scared of what would happen if I truly did.

But, there's something I want to do. Something I've ALWAYS wanted to do. I want to go to school. A REAL school. One that's on the surface, like the one Chara would always talk about. I know Chara HATED school, but I wanna go for myself. I want to experience something NEW. After all, aside from all the bullies and stupid teachers, what's the worst that could happen?