Shadowed Heart--Part 26
(see disclaimer in Part 21)
Author's Note: Hey, just wondering... has anybody here actually let the save-screen midi fully play out? They don't have it (or the Ivalice-transformation music) on the soundtrack, but it's actually REALLY pretty. Give it a listen sometime.
OMG, this thing is 26 chapters already? Hard to believe... especially when I've still got... oh... three more saga/minisagas left, not including the rest of this one. Yes, I am going to be including the Judgemaster storyline, but with a good ol' happy Shadowed Heart twist. And then there's Dreams to Come, if I even decide I'm gonna write that after all. And Revenge. Oei... (head-slumps) They both take place after SH (even though I'm writing Revenge now); DC is prolly gonna be much shorter and to-the-point. For those of you who have read my one-shot Biskmatar, you'll probably be happy to know that Morgan, Gaol, and Aria will be in it... as well as one other OC I have yet to introduce.
Just to let you know, I recently lost the floppy Revenge was on, and the half-completed chapter I was working on is now gone. That might be a good thing or a bad one… I was thinking I should rewrite it anyway…
Hey, if you have a lot of time on your hands (like SOME people I know, who have reviewed my one-shots about five times in a row coughcoughKupoKupoKupocoughcough), you should go check out my other crud! It doesn't matter if you don't actually read/play/watch whatever it is, just go read my other fanfics! Plzplz? (puppy eyes)
On with ficcy! Woohoo less'go!
---
I don't know what made Ujuidar madder--the fact that we'd gone after a Falgabird without him, or that we'd taken Ztir without his say-so. He sat sulking in a corner, glaring malevolently at the rest of us, for several hours; Ztir avoided him for a change, so I got the chance to talk to her about things I hadn't been able to tell anyone for a long time.
Watching Shara gently fluff Kumo's hair from the other side of the room, I smiled. "You know... I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually glad Marche defeated me in the Ambervale. If that hadn't happened, I would never have met all these people... I wouldn't have Shara, Babus and I would still be enemies... and I wouldn't be so happy to be alive."
«That's a very strange thing to say,» Ztir chided. Was that actually amusement I heard in her mental voice? «Glad for defeat? It's impractical...»
"That may be so, but someone told me once that you always find your true path on the far side of suffering," I said with a shrug. "You have to think about what the gain is in a situation like mine. And for me, there's so much gain and so little loss... just because of that one tiny defeat. I don't have to spend my life in fear of the queen anymore."
«Fear?»
For some reason, it was easy to tell Ztir about it. Maybe because I'd just gotten so used to thinking of Ritz as a big sister by now... but I could tell her the entire story of my earlier life, where I was ashamed to let even Shara know about it. "Yeah... I didn't turn out the way the queen wanted me to, I guess. I never knew exactly what it was, but I always seemed to be doing something wrong. First, it was just the fact that I was unable to kill Marche over and over... she got really angry at me, and even used to beat me. Things got worse and worse, until all I needed to do to set her off was sleep in late, or mess up a practice drill. All I ever wanted was to keep Mewt safe and happy, but it seemed like the harder I tried, the angrier she got. He told me once that in his own world, he'd always been picked on because he was really bad at snowball fights, and the other kids thought he was weak. I thought, maybe I'd help him so things would be different here, and I taught him how to aim when you throw. Mewt was grateful, but the queen was so mad... I guess she'd thought I was putting ideas into his head so that he might decide he would want to go back to his Ivalice, after all. She beat me and beat me and beat me after that. Because of the Fortune law that she'd placed on me, only she could harm me in any way.
"One day, Babus found me lying in the hall where she'd left me, crying and bleeding badly. He took care of me, put two and two together... he approached the queen on my behalf, and she didn't ever attack me like that again, but... it seemed as though she hated me more and more from then on. Babus and Mewt both cared about me, but I also wanted her approval. She... she was my mother, and I didn't want my mother to hate me like that. I spent so many days just wishing I was dead...
"But here, I don't have to worry about her. I have my friends... and I finally, finally have a home in Ivalice. My clan. Shara loves me, and even Marche cares about my well-being. I've gone from being everyone's scapegoat, a misfit no one would take in, to having a loving place for me in both worlds. I'll never forget how lucky I've been. I'll never forget how it was to never be happy. I'm really so grateful that I got the chance to live the life I now do."
«I... see.» Ztir seemed pensive, turning to face the rest of the big pub.
"There's something I've been meaning to ask you for a while now," I told her. "I just didn't know when I could with that idiot always skulking around."
Was I imagining things, or did I see her lips curl slightly at my mention of Ujuidar? Did I really see what I thought I was seeing in her? «What is it?»
"Do you remember what it was like, waking up for the first time?"
She gave a slight shrug, and this time her face was emotionless as ever. Perhaps I had been wrong... «A deep blackness, and then I came awake, with Her Majesty standing over me and Ujuidar beside me.»
"Did you know..." I fumbled for the words. "You knew who and what you were, though, right? Why she'd created you?"
Ztir paused, then gave a small nod. «Yes.»
"For me, it was different. I... I was completely disoriented when I woke up. I didn't know where I was or who I was, or who the queen was. I felt completely drained, as though I'd just used up all my power somehow. It really surprised me the first time I saw bangaa, vieras, nu mou, and moogles. I don't know why." I paused, and frowned. "Maybe I am defective..."
«No...» Ztir, looking at me, shook her head, letting her soft red hair fan out. «There is something different about you... that's all. Perhaps that difference is why you are able to feel emotion, as we cannot. Llednar Twem, you still do not know who you are.»
Her words stunned me for a moment, but then I realized... she was right.
I'd been so happy just to be loved that I'd completely set aside the matter of my scattered, jumbled memories, the way they seemed to belong to two different people. I'd long since regained my entire memory from the moment I'd awakened in Ivalice, but I'd been a little afraid to tread back into the ground of the strange images from the other side. I'd even tried not to think about what it meant that I was apparently Lune Pierrot's violinist prodigy. I didn't know who I really was.
"Thanks, Ztir. I may not be able to deal with this until we've cleared out the Redwings, but you've definitely given me some things to think about." I stood, stretched, and smiled at her. "Later, then."
---
"Hey, everybody! Check me out! So how does this look?"
I turned while still drinking my frosted mug of cider and promptly spat it back out.
Ritz, in the middle of an unusually strong giggling fit, stood in the doorway to the ladies' room, one hand on a small aerosol can and the other clamped just below her ribs. There were two streaks of neon green in her otherwise white hair, framing her face.
"What the hell did you do?" I managed, still half-choking.
"Ahh, I asked my parents for some of this a while ago," she replied, shaking the aerosol. "I told Lune a while ago that I'd only dye my hair for fun ever again, and I started thinking that green might be nice. Seriously! It's cute, don't you think?"
"Green goes good with pink," Shara admitted beside me, giggling along with Ritz.
"It becomes you," Kumo said softly from my other side, apparently covering a smile.
"Marche is gonna wack out for sure," I told her.
"It'll be the perfect Kodak moment," Doned commented as he passed. "Too bad there aren't any cameras in Ivalice."
"Yeah, you've gotta give us the play-by-play when you go see him," I said.
"I think he's talking to the leader of some noob clan," Miserie pitched in from behind her own mug of cider. "Clan... Larksong, I think. They came and asked if they could join up with us and Clan Angel to fight the Redwings."
"Really?" Shara's ears pricked up a little. "And they volunteered to help out?"
"I've heard that clans Dip and Clatz also formed a temporary union," I added. "There're a lot of people banding together lately, following our example. It's a good thing. Ivalice has to stand united, right?"
Kumo smiled and nodded. "Yes... if the peoples of my world had overcome their differences, perhaps it, too, could've been saved. And there are only two Falgabirds left."
I put a hand on his shoulder, grimacing in sympathy. Every now and then, he'd let slip a comment like that, almost as if to prove to us that he wasn't hurting anymore. It always achieved the opposite effect.
"I'm alright," he told me in a soft voice.
"I bet," I murmured back. "Anyway, Ritz—that really does look good on you."
Shara elbowed me.
"What?"
"You say that as if I don't," she told me, mock-sulking though her sapphire eyes glittered with amusement.
I shook my head at her. "I never said you don't look good! Don't put words in my mouth, it's not nice…"
Shara was still pouting. I could hear the others trying to hide their laughter, and could feel my cheeks starting to heat up.
"Agh! Don't look at me like that! I can't stand it! You're cute, you're cute—why do girls always have to be so sensitive about their appearances?"
"How cute?" Shara asked, standing up and putting her hands on her hips.
"Really cute. Satisfied?" I demanded, pushing my chair back and getting up as well.
"What do you mean by really cute?" Shara continued, advancing a step towards me. I backed up.
"Uh… really… really cute…?"
"In comparison to whom, I'd like to know?" Shara advanced another step, pointing an emphatic finger at me, just a few inches short of poking me in the nose.
I decided to hold my ground. "Okay, let's see—you're cuter than Ritz, interesting new hairstyle or no. You're cuter than Miserie and Daryle, you're cuter than Lune… mmm… you're cuter than, than… Makoto. Happy now?"
Shara grinned. "Better!" To the onlookers, she announced, "He's finally starting to catch on!" And then she leaned over and kissed me.
To make things even worse, she bent me back, the way the guy is always supposed to do to the girl—so far back that my hat slipped off. Twisting away, I made a wild grab for it and got lucky, rescuing it just before it hit the floor.
That got a lot of laughs.
"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha," I managed through gritted teeth, jamming my hat back onto my head. "Heartless, soulless peons that you are—I ignore you."
I turned, however, when the laughter suddenly stopped—in time to see Kumo close his eyes and raise his cupped hands to his chest, and catch sight of the faint green glow that cast over his body.
In the dead silence that followed, it was easy to hear Kumo's newest command: "Tiamat Dragoa, Falgabird of wind and storm, was seen in the Koringwood. Your duty is clear! Godspeed."
---
We headed out to the Koringwood right away.
Our party was formed by Ritz (the acting commander, as Marche and Montblanc were busy settling matters with Datenshi and Clan Larksong's leader, Hibari), Shara, Miserie, Mewt, Ujuidar, and myself. In addition, Doned and Kumo were joining us for the first time. Overprotective as Marche could be, Ritz and I both figured it was time to get Doned's feet wet, and so much the better if his brother wasn't around to muffle him in wool.
Ritz and I had tried to find Ztir before we'd left the Prancing Chocobo, but oddly enough, she was nowhere to be found…
Tiamat was an enormous Thundrake, surrounded (as seemed to be the Redwings norm) by Mog Knights. There seemed to be more of them than usual, and they formed a protective barrier around Tiamat itself.
"Let's see…" Ritz put her hands on her hips. "Shara, Miserie, you take care of some of those Mog Knights, would you? Find high ground and then plug 'em before they can get to us." Both vieras smiled, nodded, and took off for the boulders that surrounded the rocky valley we were in. "Doned and I will take the Mog in the front, the one with the captain badge. Mewt, stay back just in case. Llednar, Ujuidar, it's your job to take care of the dragon—Kumo, do what you can to help them, okay?"
Ujuidar looked at Ritz with distaste, and I elbowed him. "Hey, lay off, will you? She's your field commander. You have to get used to taking orders if you're with a clan, and Ritz and Marche are two of the best out there."
"I suppose you would know, wouldn't you, Llednar? Wretched, servile little failure that you are…" Ujuidar's cold gray eyes flashed, and I could feel heat emanating from the pendant he wore, a clear yellow jewel in the shape of a many-pointed star.
"You take the queen's orders readily enough," I shot back. "And she can be a total bitch when she's in a bad mood."
"You dare—" Ujuidar started, but Ritz cut him off with a glare. He turned to glower at her instead, but she didn't back down.
"Please," Kumo said softly and uncomfortably. "Don't argue… we must think of the enemy. If we can't at least set aside our differences for now, this world will…" He let his sentence trail off as Ujuidar turned that evil gaze on him.
"Llednar, handle him," Ritz told me, shaking her head. "Kumo's right, we don't have time for this. C'mon, Doned, time for target practice."
The brown-haired boy nodded grimly, a knife in each hand, following her as she took off lightly, running like a hunter or a wolf and only touching the ground with the tips of her toes as she flew.
I gripped Ujuidar's shoulder none too gently and glared up into his eyes, feeling the angry heat of my own blue pendant wash over me. "We haven't got the time for this, you pain in the ass. Fine, don't listen to Ritz—but you have to listen to me."
He stared at me, incredulous. "Why would I?"
"Because in this eternally effed-up little order of ours," I said through gritted teeth, "I happen to have seniority because I was created first." Ujuidar's disbelieving stare waxed dumbfounded. "Even you can't manage to wiggle your way out of that one. Now come on, let's go." And I bolted forward, drawing my swords as I went.
Sparing Ritz and Doned a glance out of the corner of my eye as I passed them, I smiled approvingly. Ritz was keeping the offending Mog Knight so busy dealing with her slashes that Doned could strike at him without worry of being hit himself. Also, it seemed as though Shara and Miserie were having success in dealing with the other moogle warriors; I could hear their annoyed cries of "kupo" as I sprinted headlong for Tiamat.
The dragon swiped for me, its cumbersome paws slow but powerful in the air. I ducked, vaulted to the side, and slashed hard, focusing my mind. I was able to physically feel its barrier slide with my sword as I struck its flank, sending splatters of blood everywhere along the ground and my clothes.
Tiamat turned and sent a shower of sparks at me with its deadly breath; I jumped back to avoid it, and did—mostly, though sparks crawled over SaveTheQueen's blade as I gathered myself to spring again. Letting out an angry cry, I leaped hard into the air, driving my heel down and gathering my magic to deal the Falgabird a backbreaking Life Render kick. It squalled, agonized, as I rebounded, then made a grab for me with both paws. A little surprised at its initiative, I lurched back, and stumbled, falling flat on my back.
Gasping, I struggled to stand, then let out a sharp yell as I felt hot pain shooting up my ankle. It wasn't broken—I must have twisted it or (I hoped not) sprained it in my fall. I certainly wouldn't be walking on it, though, until Mewt or Roland had a look at it.
I looked around—Miserie and Shara were standing helpless, watching but unable to get past the dragon's barrier to help. Ritz and Doned looked to be almost done with the Mog Knight, for all the good that would do me… where was Ujuidar? Glancing backwards, I almost groaned as I saw that he was standing in exactly the same place as before, looking sulky. Obviously, he could not be relied upon.
There was a white flash, and I stared as Kumo flung himself at the Falgabird with a willful slash of his slender blade. The dragon squalled in agony; Kumo had gotten its face, and blood was once again spurting along the stony ground.
Kumo had gotten through its barrier, somehow.
As my mind struggled to wrap itself around that fact, Kumo kept slicing, weaving an intricate dance with Tiamat as he tried to land another hit. His lips had tightened into a grim line, and his jadeine eyes were hard with conviction.
This is what he must've been like before he lost his world, when he was still fighting what he calls Chaos, I thought, awed.
But the next second, Tiamat landed a backhanded blow, and Kumo crumpled, gasping, white-faced with pain as he clutched the still not quite healed wound in his belly.
That made both of us incapable.
There was a sharp, sick roar, and I felt cold air rush past my face as that wave of nothingness swept at Tiamat, which squalled, teetered, and fell either unconscious or dead to the ground.
Ujuidar. He'd decided to act just in time.
As I finally managed to sit up, I heard the snap of twigs, and looked up to see him walking towards me.
"I didn't do it to help you," he muttered bitterly as if embarrassed, but held out his hand anyway. Hesitantly, I took it; Ujuidar pulled me to stand up none too roughly. He still looked sulky, and refused to meet my eyes when I tried to see what he was thinking.
"Llednar!"
I turned—Mewt was running to me, pale with worry.
"You hurt yourself…!"
As he knelt to examine my ankle, I shook my head. "It's not broken—ugh…" He'd rotated it a little, and I shivered, feeling almost sick with pain.
"It's sprained, but not badly. Here…" And I felt a wave of cold wash over me, completely relieving the pain. I sighed appreciatively, closing my eyes in sheer gratitude. "Don't rest any weight on it if you can help it, though. It's still hurt, and I want Roland to take a look at it when we get back, okay?"
"How am I supposed to get back without walking on it?" I asked blankly.
Shara was at my side, smiling crookedly. "How about a piggyback ride?"
---
"How much more awkward can today get?" I groaned, slumping dispiritedly against Shara's shoulder. "Isn't it supposed to be the guy who carries the girl around?"
"But you're light, and you're shorter than me," Shara pointed out. "It's no big deal, is it?"
"Yes it is. I have my manly pride to think about, you know."
Shara giggled and hugged me around the shoulders. "If you say so, Llednar."
We were back in the Prancing Chocobo, with me sitting at a table, my foot up on a free chair and wrapped up in frozen bandages on Roland's orders. Until tomorrow, he said, I was not to rest any more weight on it than necessary, or I'd just keep straining it further. Apparently, Shara was to be carrying me around quite a bit.
Suddenly, Shara frowned at something past me. "Hey, Ztir! What's up with your hair?"
I turned. Ztir had been walking along the wall, almost as if she didn't want to be seen. Though her hair had been a deep crimson the last time I'd seen her, there were now two locks of black framing her face…
Pale, Ztir turned to us and shook her head. «I… don't know. It was normal until recently, but then… This is extremely peculiar…»
"You would've had to have dyed it," Shara continued, frowning. "I mean, hair doesn't just change color on its own like this…"
I let out a small "oh". Shara looked at me questioningly.
"That's the same part of her hair that Ritz dyed. Do you think there could be some kind of connection?" I asked pointedly.
"Maybe you're right…"
Ztir simply looked at herself in the glass of the pub's wine cabinet, raising one hand to touch her hair. As she did, her fingers were trembling.