"A falconry demonstration?"
The insensitive exclamation was not overlooked and yet, Rachel could not repress her distaste for the idea. Certain situations required discretion, for which Eddie wasn't well-known.
"Well, you asked me to look after the Earl situation," he replied, wounded.
Glancing down, she scanned over the leaflet for Steve Webb's Falconry and behind it, two graphic photographs of a dead pigeon. Rachel had not expected for Tom to storm into her office the day before, slamming the laminated sheets onto her desk. He had been outraged, and continued to be, while Rachel grew further impatient at his issues with the Kellys. So, with a conscious effort to involve Eddie, she had requested that he deal with the situation.
Outside, a shabby green van had parked to the side of the playing field, the back doors swung open by Steve Webb himself. He leant against one of the doors, allowing the students to peer in curiously. One of the first in line was Sam Kelly, flipping her ponytail around as her head whipped back and forth, chatting to the teenagers behind her and to the hawks in front. She reached out her arm and quickly snapped it back when she was reprimanded by Webb. Even though one Kelly was convinced, Rachel was not.
"One of Mel's ideas?"
Eddie scoffed incredulously, offended by the insinuation. "No, it's mine."
His indignance was amusing. She found herself smiling warmly up at him without realising. He was caught unaware by her rapid change in mood, blinking and then flashing his own grin. Catching her own carelessness, she turned and started back to her office, aware that it was close to the first bell. There was little time for distraction, knowing where that had left her last week. Although Eddie and Melissa had tried to atone for their lack of help, there seemed to be a constant abundance of paperwork, one Joyce hardly ever went out of her way to help with.
"We don't know if this has got anything to do with Earl or any of our students," she continued, the customary argument returning to mind. It was an immediate reaction to defend her students.
"Tom seems convinced."
That could not be said for her. Her patience was wearing thin for both of the feuding families. Personal issues were one thing but it was affecting the stability of the school; more importantly, her staff's reputation of professionalism.
"Well, Tom's been saying a lot of things," she answered tartly. "The entire lesson looks like, well, you're saying Earl is guilty."
Rachel reached for the door of the antechamber, swinging it open. What she wanted to avoid was blame based on non-existent evidence or even the possible discomfort of the students, including Earl. The van was hardly a mystery, particularly as Chlo and Donte were unashamed of giving their opinion on the matter.
"It's not all about him," Eddie frowned, his hand brushing against hers to hold the door. "There are other kids who will benefit loads from experiences like this. Besides…" He hesitated when she spun round to face him at the office door. "If this bloke can teach wild animals to do what he tells them to…"
His sentence trailed to an end, raising his eyebrows suggestively. He clearly wanted her to laugh.
"I think our kids are going to need a little more than bird seed."
Without admitting so, she had found the comment amusing but wouldn't allow him the satisfaction of thinking as such. Rachel was irate at his unwavering commitment to the idea, which was closer to disaster than success. It hardly mattered what she said. He would do what he wanted in the end.
"So do falcons," he insisted. "It takes time and patience to earn their trust. It'll be a good lesson in discipline, responsibility."
"You haven't exactly left me a lot of choice, have you?" she retorted.
He sighed heavily, growing irritated himself. "Rachel, you asked me to handle this and I'm handling it. If you don't like what I'm doing…"
She knew he was beginning to rant; it wasn't what she needed that early in the morning. No matter what she said, she was likely to upset him.
"Okay." She spoke over him, letting his exasperation falter. "Alright, you're right. It's your call. But remember, my name is on that risk assessment."
Which was another piece of paperwork she had happened to find on her desk, rather inconspicuously. Eddie was finally appeased, just satisfied that he was being of assistance.
"It will run like clockwork," he promised, reaching out to quickly touch her arm.
Rachel supposed she would have to trust him, knowing she would discover the real outcome by the end of the day. Raising her eyebrows, she turned into her office, hearing him rush out of the antechamber in excitement. For once, she wished she knew how to say no to him.
By the end of first period, Rachel had already tired of paperwork, knowing she wasn't naïve enough to expect company. She decided to brave the staffroom for coffee, despite having a machine in her office. With little friendships, or even acquaintances, she found stimulation was limited. Listening to the echo of multiple conversations, she hesitated at the stairwell, leaning over the bannister to look below.
Marley was at the graffitied platform, staring at the papers on the notice board. He fumbled in his pocket for a pen and crossed a line through one of them repeatedly until it was a black blob. Amused, Rachel stepped down the stairs.
"It's not like you to be vandalising school property, Mr Kelly."
He was abashed, tucking the pen back into his blazer. "I'm just taking my name of this head boy thing, ay?"
Visibly restless, she could see the reluctance at this new responsibility. With their current head boy unwell and unlikely to return, Rachel took only a second to decide he would be a suitable candidate. She held a lot of hope for Marley and it would be promising for the family after everything that had occurred.
"Oh?" she probed, meeting him at the platform.
"Not my idea really." He didn't meet her eye. "Flick kind of did it without asking."
"Yeah, I know. She just told me actually." She gestured behind her, although she hadn't seen Flick since early that morning. It wasn't Rachel's business but she knew the two seemed keen on each other, and at least the two women agreed on his potential. "She obviously feels quite strongly that you should be in the running. You know they've been voting for you all week."
He looked away from her with a scoff, annoyed at their interference. "That's fine. I'm not really good at responsibility anyway."
Her eye twitched, an eyebrow slowly rising at his response. Rachel knew this to be untrue in reference to his family. She had watched him since the moment they had arrived, interested in his potential. Marley needed to view himself as others saw him. If Earl was past guidance, at least Marley may be helped.
"Well, you seem quite responsible for your family," she commented.
"Yeah?" Marley was surprised she had mentioned them, almost sounding hopeful.
"Yeah," she reaffirmed.
"You should try telling that to my mom."
Then his gaze fell to the floor, not trying to meet her eye again. Her smile faded, thinning into a line as she struggled to use reason rather than sentiment. Marley could sense her internal conflict, flustered that she cared at all. Pushing past, he left her there to attend class. She watched him leave, unfolding her arms. A ready excuse was that it was her own fault for his lack of progress, but she knew who needed to be spoken to.
Rose Kelly looked rather indignant at being interrupted from her daily routine, the faint hint of cigarettes and liquor following her. She slumped into one of the chairs at the round table. Her narrowed glare followed Rachel while she closed the office door, her bag dumped unceremoniously onto the floor.
"Whose done what now?" she exclaimed harshly.
"No, no. Everything's fine," Rachel assured her, sliding the window closed too. Joyce was already glancing through the glass in interest. "I just thought you could come in and we could, erm, have a catch up."
It sounded questionable, even to her own ears. Peering over, she hoped the comment had sounded somewhat realistic, heading back to her desk. Rose spun round in the chair with a sneer before choosing to stand instead.
"Yeah?" she jeered. "Phone's not working?"
Although Rose acted foolish, she certainly wasn't. She could always sense uncertainty in other adults. Rachel knew honesty was the best policy. If she wasn't careful, the visit would end unfavourably and her students were her main concern.
Taking a deep breath, Rachel abandoned her polite demeanour. "Marley has pulled out of running for head boy this afternoon and I've tried talking to him, but he…" She paused, questioning why Rose was staring so obliviously at her. "Well, I thought you could have a word."
Rose's smug grin fell, her strong Irish cut through in her offence. "You've called me all the way here like someone's died for that?"
Placing her hands on the desk, Rachel leant forward in the hope they would come to a reasonable intermediate. She was determined that at least one of the Kelly children would be successful.
"It's a really good opportunity for his CV," she disputed.
"He's fine as he is."
"No, he's not actually, Rose. Do you know how many lessons he's dropped out of, just this week?"
Rose shrugged, grimacing. There was a moment's pause, even though Rachel could feel her thoughts racing. If she had something to say then she would.
"We do what we can but if they don't have the help they need from home…"
The suggestion was left suspended between the two. That time, Rose caught the insinuation.
"I am there for him twenty-four hours a day," she seethed.
"Really? Okay," She walked around the desk to move closer, knowing there was a potential argument fomenting. However, she needed Rose to see sense. "Is that why he gets to look after the kids?"
Rose narrowed her eyes, instantly furious. "Has he been saying that?"
Rachel paced to the window, halting and circulating back.
"No, but he doesn't need to. He's throwing his life away while you're looking for yours in a bottle."
It may have sounded derogatory, and most definitely unprofessional, but she could feel that distinct intensity that grew whenever she saw a child's life waste away before her. Rose's children were incessant in their need for guidance. Rachel had to ensure one of them would be okay.
"I beg your pardon?" Rose revealed her uncertainty, her voice shaking as she clutched onto her handbag, almost tearful.
"Come on," Rachel exclaimed, advancing closer, "I can get you help. There's a lot of really good AA groups. You can't expect your kids to achieve something if you are sitting around drinking all day?"
One of Rose's hands reached up so she could bite onto her chewed nails, running the tips of her fingers over her lips. She stared up at Rachel with her indignant, clear blue eyes.
"And who made you the bloody judge and jury?"
"You know what? I have not got a perfect past myself." Rachel felt a slight appreciation that she could admit as such, a small step forward from the previous year.
"Yeah?" Rose smirked. "I heard all about that, Madame Mason."
Her barbed comment was a deliberate insult- anything to distract from the real issue. Rose was unused to such an attack, from a teacher at least, and she was lashing cruelly in fear. For once, Rachel knew the smear did not hurt her. It had been something she was working on since the beginning of her therapy. A smile slowly appeared, knowing the clear judgement in others was less hurtful; only she could punish herself.
"Yeah…" She took a moment; it was a story that she could use to her advantage. "I moved on. I got a job."
"So I'm an alcoholic whose not there for her kids and you're telling me to get a job?" blurted Rose quickly.
Rachel was unable to restrain her voice, an uncomfortable yell in the quiet office. She shouldn't have been arguing but she needed to express her opinion. "Listen, you have the social services on your back and you've just thrown in the adult literacy course. You need to work, Rose; to prove to them that you mean business."
There was silence in response. Rachel noticed the way Rose stared at her, as if realising she had the crux of the argument. Her voice cut across, low, calm, and determined.
"Have you got kids?"
"Yeah, I have six hundred of them," she answered unflinchingly.
Rose knew she had an advantage, her eyes squinting once more, but there was a torment there that Rachel did not understand. For once, Rose wanted her to.
"Your own though?"
Rachel faltered, knowing she had no response. Not this time. Any argument she had vanished when she realised this was her critical point and she had no concept of it. Her smile remained, despite an arising panic, laced with unwanted emotions and distractions. Her gaze fell and she turned from Rose. There was no response that would qualify.
"That is my job, yeah?" Rose pressed, realising she had leverage for the first time. "I could have walked away like all their dads but I'm up to my eyes in debt raising them best I can. You're going to deny me the odd drink for that?"
Although the alcoholism was still questionable, Rachel acknowledged the struggle that had undoubtedly followed when raising the children. She considered what to say but nothing seemed right. Rose decided they were finished. Seizing the potential in her silence, she turned and left the office before anything else could be said.
The usual sound of coffee could be heard as it rose in the ceramic, swirling round in a flurry of steam. A cup, much like the one she was using, sat beside the machine. It hadn't been used since the first day of the term. Usually, it was reserved for Eddie but he hardly visited her office for more than a few minutes since the start of the new academic year.
As she finished filling the cup, there was a timid knock on the door. Rachel put down the pot and reached across for the door, curious as to who it was. On the other side, Rose stood, dejectedly.
"If I'm such an alki, who's going to give me a job?"
Seemingly, she had the sense to know the whole situation needed fixing. Rachel was pleased that something had got through to her. The children needed it, but so did Rose. She felt a relieved smile pull at her lips.
"I am. In the school canteen."
"N-uh. No way!" scowled Candice.
She continued to stir the pasta sauce in her industrial pot. Rachel leant forward, her hands clasped together.
"Candice, please," she half-begged, although her voice remained firm. "She needs this."
"Yeah, and I need it like a hole in the head."
"It's a trial, just a trial. If she messes up, she's out."
Candice took the spoon from the pot, turning to face Rachel with her usual severity. "What is this? A drop-in centre, ay? That woman and hers sweat trouble. I can smell it."
She gestured toward Rose, who had been told to wait at the serving counter. The woman looked suitably bashful, perhaps remembering her previous encounter with the cook. Rachel watched the interaction with her hands on her hips.
"Oh, and yours were always little angels, were they?" she remarked.
Candice was clearly outraged yet said nothing. She continued to stir in silence. Rachel knew she needed to flatter her ego. Besides, the cafeteria did need one more member of staff so she was doing them all a favour.
"Look," she sighed, "it's a different pay scale for supervisors." She watched Candice pause in interest. "I'm sure you could do with the extra help."
Glancing over, Candice exhaled heavily. Rachel knew she had won the disagreement.
"Right," muttered Candice. "Sixty quid a week extra. I do the hiring and firing for now on, and if she messes up…" She pointed to Rose, her voice rising. "Out."
Rachel was already backing away, knowing better than to continue the argument. She raised her hands in defeat and headed back to Rose. Opening the hatch of the counter, she allowed the woman to enter the kitchen.
"Here we are," she smiled.
Rose glanced around, sullenly. "S'pose I've got no choice, have I?"
Candice gave her a scathing glare across the room. "Neither of us do, love."
There was a moment of silence. Rachel decided it was her time to leave, knowing Candice would be able to maintain professional boundaries. It may have been unwise, considering their previous fight, but Rachel knew they were both doing it for more than themselves, and that was worth more than their pettiness.
Passing the front foyer, Rachel glanced outside to take note of the students playing and halted mid-stride as she saw what was on the playground. Steph and Melissa had their backs to her, handing out pink slips of paper to whoever happened to pass. In her hand, Steph held a mass of pink and purple heart-shaped balloons. Rachel knew what that meant. They had ignored her and continued to scheme for a speed-dating night. It was not the image that Rachel wanted for the school, something she had made clear on the occasion it had been brought up. Students began to run in all directions when they saw her approach, aware of what was about to occur.
"Excuse me," she yelled, "What is going on here? I thought I said no to this."
Steph looked reasonably worried at her appearance, glancing at Melissa in the expectation that she dealt with her. She hid the string of balloons behind her back as if she would be unable to see the hearts still dangling in the air.
"It's for the community," Melissa reasoned, smiling widely.
"Yes," snapped Rachel, snatching the papers from the students as they passed. "But not for the kids, thank you!"
One of the boys startled at her shout, bolting in the opposite direction.
"Some of us got a little carried away in the moment." Melissa gestured at Steph, who appeared disgruntled at the accusation.
No matter how innocent she tried to look, the balloons swayed guiltily behind her.
"Steph, this is setting completely the wrong tone for this school," warned Rachel.
"Oh, come on, Rachel. Lighten up." She rolled her eyes. Steph was another member of staff who had suggested speed dating, back in her interview on the first day. Her and Melissa were a recipe for disaster. "The only time the parents get twenty feet within this place is when their kids are on the skids. It's time they had a bit of fun."
Rachel scrutinised the posters in her hand, the pink paper with flowery handwriting and hearts plastered down the sides. She hadn't forgotten Steph pointing directly at her when suggesting the event. There was a certain bitterness at the thought of romantic happiness and although she had tried to prevent it, Rachel was incredibly resentful.
"Excuse me," she snapped. "I will tell you what…"
"Rachel."
She felt Eddie's hand on her wrist, already distracting her from further conflict. His voice was low but urgent. Rachel didn't appreciate being interrupted, feeling as though her authority was being undermined from all angles, even as she knew he probably had a good reason to interrupt. It felt surprisingly good to rant at her staff. There was a lot of frustration that she had left to build.
She held her finger up sharply. "Can you just give me a second?"
"No, please."
The tone of his voice caused her to pause. She ducked her head forward to yell one last time at Steph but he spoke over her.
"We've got a problem."
His hand travelled further up her arm, tugging lightly on her blazer. He was visibly worried and she felt herself become angrier. No doubt something had happened with the falconry demonstration. The fact he still had his coat on proved that.
"I'll f…"
Eddie pulled her away before she could finish. For once, she let him. Perhaps it was better to not finish the sentence. Instead, she pointed threateningly at Steph, who couldn't look less bothered by the warning. Rachel had to concede the event would be happening anyway, clenching the remaining papers in her fist.
Following Eddie, he glanced cautiously at her. "One of the hawks is missing."
They rounded to the back of the van where Steve Webb was waiting for them.
"They've got trackers on," Steve told them.
She brushed her fringe aside, watching the man stare worriedly into the back of the van. The remaining birds had been caged but one was empty. From behind, a horde of students had gathered to view the commotion.
"If it's one of the kids that released her," Steve said, "we should be able to get her back."
"Can it have gone far?" she questioned, an edge to her usually polite voice.
Tom was standing round the other side, seizing the opportunity to voice his frustrations. "It's not how far they've got that you have to worry about, is it?"
Rachel sighed heavily, knowing his unprofessional conduct could leave them in a difficult position. Tom was unable to keep his opinion to himself when it came to the Kellys. She wished Eddie hadn't tried to involve him, considering the issues the two families had.
"What do you mean?" frowned Steve.
"Well, didn't they tell you, mate? They've had you out teaching a bird killer."
Already that would leave the blame with Earl, but also with them for allowing him near the demonstration in the first place.
Steve spun round to face them. "What?"
"He's been murdering birds and putting them on my doorstep," Tom's voice called across.
Rachel mentally cursed Eddie and his unrealistic ideas. She felt herself tremble in exasperation, ready to voice her displeasure with him but also Tom. It wasn't helping that there were students nearby who could hear their conversation. The rumour would be around school within minutes.
Steve pushed away from the van, suddenly furious. "And you've had him out there with my birds and you didn't think to tell me?"
Tom stood behind him, almost smugly justified. Slowly, Rachel licked her lips, stumbling for any answer. Eddie answered for her.
"We're not sure about all this, Steve," he insisted.
Steve gestured back toward Tom.
"You lied to me."
"No!" exclaimed Eddie quickly.
It was clear that he was only growing more confused and exasperated. She knew she needed to support him, be the only voice of reason.
"Have we even looked for Earl yet? Because all we've got at the moment is a missing bird."
Eddie glanced over, scoffing and producing a childish eye-roll. He shook his head, even as she thought she was helping him, and Rachel questioned what she had done wrong. She wasn't sure what he wanted from her half the time.
"What?" she growled, her irritation rearing its head once more.
He thrust his hands into his pockets, shaking his head still. There was no further attempt at responding. She glared at him, prepared to begin an argument, her mouth already opening when Michaela was the surprising saviour of their escalating disagreement.
"I told Mr Clarkson I saw Earl lurking by the van," she smirked.
As much as Michaela was a known gossip and liar, there was also every chance she was telling the truth. Rachel knew she could be proven wrong and that the suspicions about Earl could be founded. It almost meant the whole idea had been a waste to begin with, which she may have been smug about if she hadn't been sure Eddie would only have another tantrum. Rachel rolled her tongue along her cheek, hoping to refrain from a biting remark. The effort caused her jaw to jut out.
"Sienna is my prize hark," Steve fretted. "You better be praying she's okay or else I'll report you and you'll all be up on charges."
The situation was escalating further than she had wanted. She never took professional threats well, knowing she had to end whatever doubt they had.
"Hang on," she exclaimed. "No police, no hysterics. Not yet."
He was growing agitated. "Too late."
"You should have excluded him while you had the chance," Tom added.
It was almost like he was whispering to Steve, constantly ensuring he continued to get angrier at anything they said. Rachel found herself between three angry men. The testosterone was palpable in the air, all of them staring each other down.
"It's not that simple, Tom." Eddie's voice escaped in a strangled tone.
"Why don't we just wait until we find either the bird or Earl," she demanded. "There's no need to panic."
"It'll probably be on my doorstep by now," Tom said matter-of-factly.
Steve reached a stage of critical panic that Rachel could see forming, almost in slow motion. She wished Tom wasn't being so dramatic, questioning his professional position and whether she had made the right choice in allowing him to remain as head of pastoral care.
Steve was heading round the van. "Right, I'm off."
"I'll come with you," Eddie offered quickly.
"Hang on, Eddie." Rachel tried to reach out for his arm, her fingers barely grazing his coat as he stepped out of her reach. It was all happening too fast; she needed time to think clearly.
He rounded back at her and she felt herself take a step back, flinching at his sudden shout. "Rachel, I'm going with him!"
Opening her mouth, she hoped some words fell out, yet nothing did. She tried to shut it quickly, flustered that the scene had occurred so publicly. It seemed fitting, however, that he should be the one to fix the situation. The whole thing had been his idea, after all. Rachel had to remind herself that she needed to allow people to correct their own mistakes. Still, it had been his fault in the first place and so he had no reason to direct his frustration at her.
The two left, leaving her in abashed silence. Glancing scathingly at Tom, she wanted it to be clear that she was pissed. He was the only one left for her to reprimand. Even her look didn't bother him. Tom gave a slight smirk, clearly pleased at the frenzy that he had caused. Rachel left before her temper reared, knowing it was best that nothing else was said. Not in front of the students.
Rachel closed the lid of her laptop, slotting it into the precise sections of her bag. Hearing a soft knock at the door, she glanced up to find Eddie there. He was notably more relaxed than earlier, and more apologetic.
"Looks like I've made some progress with him," he said softly.
Straightening her spine, she could see he was proud of that, which, she supposed, he ought to be. Earl was a difficult student to handle. She wanted to be pleased for him but her irritation was more poignant. His deliberate disregard for her opinion hurt the most, yet he had hardly noticed. Lowering her gaze, she continued to pack her bag, barely taking a moment to look at him.
Eddie continued, knowing she wasn't going to respond. "Finally. Seems he's found a real passion for it. Steve is going to take him to the weekend classes."
She slipped some papers into her bag, listening to the rustle of the pages instead of what she should say to him. Her gaze swept the desk, hoping to prolong the moment she met his gaze.
"That's good," she answered eventually, a little pointedly.
Rachel started to pack objects that weren't entirely necessary but she had to make her point. Her hand hesitated over the journal, deciding to take it home with her. She'll probably need it for later.
"I'm sorry." Eddie's voice was so soft that she finally looked at him. "For not listening earlier. Got caught up in the drama and overreacted."
The journal slid among the papers, her hand already feeling the weight of the words as he stood before her, the physical manifestation of her fantastical imaginings. Suddenly, she felt that she needn't write in it after all. Not that evening.
"Honestly…" she drawled, sighing heavily. "I'd kind of given up on him myself, as well."
He raised his eyebrows, visibly smug at her confession. Rachel knew she should continue before he offered any form of I told you so.
"Well, I think I made some progress with Marley and Rose today as well, so…"
He advanced towards her, grinning widely in genuine delight for her admission. Rachel felt relieved to tell him. They had rarely shared any of their success together since the new academic year.
"Oh, what a team!" he exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "Getting the Kelly's back on track."
She grinned, zipping up her bag and fumbling somewhat with the straps, too busy staring at him to pay attention to what she was doing. Rachel felt absurd for enjoying every compliment that he paid her. After the unbearable distance that had occurred over the past month, she wanted to take that step in getting their friendship back to how it should be. She wanted it more than she could possibly say.
"Yeah." Her mood had already improved. "We should go for a drink to celebrate."
It felt like nothing had changed and she forgot that there could possibly be anything else he would be doing. He grinned at her, mirroring her own expression, and then he sighed, seemingly annoyed.
"I would but… Erm…" Eddie looked up slowly, apologetic. "I promised your sister that I'd help her with the speed dating."
Rachel felt her previous surge of annoyance, at the couple and the terrible scheme they had concocted. Even when she had said no.
"Eddie, I cannot believe you are getting involved in that!" she snapped, unable to repress her frustration.
The emphasis on the last word made him flinch and he already looked guilty enough, rubbing the back of his neck. She thought he was better than that, although she supposed his relationship may have something to do with it. Grabbing her bag, she glanced down, frustrated such thoughts could ruin her mood instantly.
"The whole thing should be cancelled," she grumbled.
"I know but it's too late." He knew she wasn't convinced. "What would you prefer? Her doing it by herself or doing it with a little supervision by us?"
His eyes were sparkling, back to the boyish banter that she hadn't seen since the year before. For a moment, she forgot about his relationship. All she had heard was the 'us' and knew that was all she needed to be convinced. It had been a while since she had last had a little fun. No doubt, the adults would be entertaining to some degree. Surely there would be more than a few jokes to be made and she knew Melissa had bought bottles of wine.
"Give her a chance, Rach."
His voice was almost a whisper, ridiculously soft. His gentle tone was more than she could bear, knowing she couldn't resist him. Exhaling heavily, she glared across the room.
"Fine!"
Eddie's grin returned, his head nodding toward the door. "Come on then. What are you waiting for?"
"For it to end."
He headed for the door, pausing to wait until she was by her side. "You never know, I could get you a drink. I heard there's a punch bowl."
Students were hurrying through the corridors, eager to leave the premises once the bell had rung. Rachel watched them pass as she walked down the stairs, hardly caring some were walking perhaps too fast for her liking. She was too fixated on the man beside her.
"I just think it's worth trying," he insisted.
She let out a thoughtful hum. "We'd have to trial it. I wouldn't want to implement something like that immediately."
"When are you going to admit that sometimes I have really good ideas?"
Eddie seemed to know he was provoking her, unable to repress a smirk. Her eyebrows raised, ready to retort an answer when they were interrupted by the sudden appearance of Marley.
"Sir," he called, waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs. "Look, I wanted to apologise for my little brother. He's, erm…"
"No," Eddie cut across as they came to a stop. He glanced at Rachel with a repentant laugh. "It's me who should be apologising. Turns out I got him all wrong."
Marley was genuinely surprised, his eyes widening.
"He told me about your cat leaving all the dead birds on Mr Clarkson's doorstep," continued Eddie.
The boy glanced questioningly between the two of them and Rachel offered him an encouraging smile. She knew he doubted himself, hoping that the past few hours had made a difference to the family. They had managed to prove themselves. He should proud of that.
"Right…" he frowned.
Rachel knew there was still something bothering him. "Is everything okay? Did you get to do that speech in the end?"
He looked fazed, his gaze still darting between them. "Yeah."
She decided it was due to shyness or, rather, being too modest. He had the trait to a fault.
"Well done," she offered. "I look forward to the results."
That was another issue that had righted itself. Rachel was more than confident that he would win the position, no doubt with a little influence from a friend of his. He was popular among students, more than he realised, but Flick certainly held an enthusiasm for him.
"See you," Eddie nodded.
The two parted from Marley, trusting he would be fine. As soon as they had left, Eddie turned back to her with a feigned frown.
"So, are you going to take me up on that idea or what?"
"Oh, Eddie," she sighed, half irritably.
She continued walking without saying anything, ignoring the indignant humph beside her. Smirking, she glanced upwards to ensure he was in a good mood. His eyes flickered over to her, noticing her smile, and although he didn't mean to, he smiled back.
In the hall, cheap pink and purple heart-shaped balloons were plastered everywhere, the same ones that Steph had been carrying around. Rachel felt her nose scrunch slightly at the sight, almost stepping back into Eddie. If he hadn't been present, she would have made her excuses and left.
There were a surprising amount of people who had shown for the event, more than she would have credited for. She had entered as the adults seated themselves, a buzz of excitement settling over the tables. Melissa leant over to the two as they approached her.
"Not a bad turnout, huh?" Her eyes glistened with their usual excitement, standing back up to speak to the room. "Okay, everyone. Two minutes a session, then move on and no stragglers."
Rachel raised her eyebrow at Eddie, who failed to hide his amusement. Clearly, he found the ordeal funnier than she did. He nodded toward one of the tables. Realising what he was implying, she crossed her arms, glaring over. She didn't appreciate the suggestion. Someone else who felt the need to comment on her personal life.
From behind the refreshment table, a gong sounded. Where Melissa had got that from, heaven knows. Eddie rested his hand on Rachel's arm as he passed, offering one last warm smile before he approached Mel. She wasn't sure what she had expected. It was always the same; he would offer to stay with her and he always ended up being distracted by her sister. Whether they were in a relationship or not was inconsequential to her. She just wanted him to stay.
The next few rounds passed in uncomfortable silence for Rachel. Mainly, Eddie and Melissa talked between themselves and she stood beside them, having already finished her limit of alcohol for the evening. Around the room, some of the dates seemed to be going well but the majority weren't. She found bleak satisfaction in knowing that they all were struggling as much as her when it came to romance.
At one point, a woman had abruptly stood, her hand reaching out to strike Grantly across the face. His wife, Fleur, stood too.
"Oi," she shouted.
Rachel had avoided questioning the current situation with Grantly and Fleur. All she knew was that he was living with Steph and that was enough for her not to speak of it. Her only concern was that there would be a fight in the middle of a supposedly romantic evening, but then Melissa hit the gong and the group shuffled across the tables quickly.
Eddie leaned over, snickering to himself. "I guess the toupee was a little much for her."
She snorted before she realised the sound had come from her, shooting a warning glare at him. He chuckled, raising his shoulders slightly. They watched Grantly as he trudged dejectedly to the next table. For once, Rachel empathised with him. He wasn't the only one who felt wretched.
As the evening drew to a close, the guests leaving, mostly still alone, Rachel knew she regretted the decision to stay. As much as she had enjoyed her time with Eddie, those moments had been few and far between. Even Grantly had been luckier than her- leaving hand-in-hand with Fleur, who was trying to downturn his collar.
"At least it wasn't a complete waste of time then," Melissa commented at the sight, ever bubbly.
"Not a complete disaster but I don't think we'll make a thing of it."
As terrible as it had been, Rachel was not in a terrible mood and she hardly wanted to admit as such. She hadn't spent any time with her sister either in recent weeks and she was undoubtedly proud that Melissa had managed to organise a successful event.
"Oh, spread a little love, Rach!" Melissa knew she made a habit of protesting. "It doesn't seem fair me and Eddie keeping it to ourselves."
Rachel was already annoyed at the turn of conversation, peering over her shoulder to the man in question. He was talking to a group of friendly women, some that were hoping he was single. She felt her reserve soften at the mere sight of him, that moment already being replaced with a deep-seated anxiety. His relationship was developing faster than she had originally thought and she was unsure of whether she had been hasty in trusting Melissa's flighty nature.
She took a step closer to her, her voice lowering. "Mel, do you think that maybe you and Eddie are, you know, going a bit too fast?"
Melissa only stared confusedly at her. She didn't seem to think so.
"Next thing, you're going to move in together," she continued hastily, hoping she would see sense. "You've only known each other five…"
Her voice was teasing, unable to hide the fact she thought it was a ludicrous idea, but then she saw Melissa's face lighten at the suggestion. She had put down her drink before Rachel had even finished what she was saying, pushing past her sister.
"Eddie!"
The interruption unnerved Rachel, who was unsure and yet certain of what was about to happen. Her hand curled around Melissa's wrist without realising, pulling her back in front of her in the hope she could physically restrain her from saying any more. Melissa barely struggled against her grip, thinking nothing of it and called out again.
"Can you come here a minute?"
Rachel knew she was fighting a losing battle, praying to any God she knew that he had more sense than that. Her body grew rigid as she waited expectantly, her hand curling tighter than intended on Melissa's wrist. Realising what she was doing, she tried to maintain control and let go, practically tossing her arm away from her. She could hear his footsteps. Unable to look at him, she stared ahead at the wall, knowing she couldn't face Melissa either. The words were already ringing in her mind before they had been said.
Exhaling slowly, she listened to his footsteps. Counting them as they advanced closer. Licking her lips, she felt her mouth go dry.
"Rachel's got a great idea."
Somehow, those words came through and Rachel had glared unknowingly at her, unable to see the brief loathing that resided there. Melissa hadn't noticed, her arms wrapping around his waist. He had stopped close behind Rachel and she could feel his presence unbearably close. She glanced over quickly, thinking she could fake a smile, but she couldn't. Her gaze fell away immediately.
"What do you think of you, me, and Phillip all living under one roof?"
From the corner of her eye, she can see that Melissa was holding onto his hands, the both of them tightly grasping each other. Rachel thought she could be sick. Some uncomfortable feeling was encasing her chest. Already, those few words had ruined her good mood, however brief. That momentary illusion that they had all been together as friends, not her as an extra amid their nauseating bliss.
She tried to look at him and found him grinning widely, her head turning away again within seconds. Desperately, her gaze flicked around the room, unsure of where to look. There were too many bloody hearts everywhere.
"I can't see why not." His arms wrapped tighter around her as Melissa stood on the balls of her feet. "Yours or mine?"
Rachel could see Melissa moving as if it were in slow motion, the way her hands brushed against his cheeks and his arms around her waist.
"Ours."
She knew they were kissing. Her gaze stayed where Melissa had been before she had lunged toward him, the wall opposite her only saviour. It was the first time they had kissed in front of her. The realisation caused a sharp ache in her chest. Risking one last look, she only watched for a moment before instantly regretting it. She turned away in disgust, the aching spreading across her chest while she repressed the urge to scream. That was the exact opposite of what she had wanted.
Eddie's voice cut across her silent rage. "Oh, Rachel, you definitely have to come for that drink now."
She took a moment to gather herself, grateful they couldn't see her face. When she had made the offer, it had only extended to the two of them, not three. Especially after what had just occurred. Yet, Rachel knew they couldn't see her agitation. It was unfair to unload her feelings onto them, glancing over with a wide smile. The whole situation was excruciating, let alone a whole evening of it and she knew she needed time alone.
"This is definitely a celebration," he added, sensing her hesitation.
Melissa reached out to tug at her, her hands and her blazer. Anything she could. "Come on, come on!"
Her sister seemed to resort to the same girl who had shown enthusiasm for partying and socialising, while Rachel had remained at home. They had not changed as much as they thought. Knowing she wouldn't relent, Melissa released her grip, unable to hide her disappointment.
"I'll go get the coats," she informed them.
Her happiness didn't lessen, perhaps hoping Rachel would change her mind while she was gone. No matter what was said, Rachel wasn't staying. They were smiling, laughing, looking at each other. She turned her back once more, choosing to run her gaze over the leftover cups of wine, most half-drunk. Sighing, she wished they hadn't been so wasteful so she could have had some. The image of Eddie, grinning at her sister like some lovesick fool, was difficult to shake from her mind. She hated to see him like that but she knew she couldn't change his feelings. Suddenly, Rachel became aware that he was staring at her.
"Rachel…" He hesitated, stepping forward to be closer. "I know what you're thinking."
He couldn't possibly. Else the whole ordeal would never have happened, although she knew she was more to blame than him. He had never lied about his feelings. At least, it hadn't seemed that way.
"Do you now?"
She had hoped to sound calm but her voice sounded breathless. Her chest was heaving, unable to shake the irritation and the dull ache. Planning her swift exit, she thought of her handbag that had been left upstairs, her car outside, that bottle of spare wine by the end of the table, and the sound of their lips as they clashed together. That smile on his face. Rachel couldn't help but smile at the absurdity of it.
Peering across, the hopeful gleam in his eye destroyed any remnants of her charade. Rachel felt as if she could cry, staring down at the floor instead. As impossible as it seemed, she hoped he hadn't noticed how affected she was.
"It must seem crazy, me getting caught up in all this." He was staring at her steadily when she braved to look him in the eye. The sincerity in his expression was hard to ignore. "But I'm deadly serious about your sister."
That was the opposite of what she wanted to hear, no matter how much she wanted to ignore that feeling. It was too desperate and ugly to ignore. She wanted to hear him repeat what he had said that first day. Now she had felt his missing presence, Rachel would have done anything to hear him say that. There was another moment of silence. Unable to respond, she hadn't said anything at all. Nothing could be said.
His voice continued, huskily. "I just need to know that you're okay with that before we take it any further."
There was no question that he was being serious and as much as she wanted to take it from him, she knew that was selfish. Rachel did genuinely care for the both of them and their happiness, even if it was with each other. She couldn't take that from them. Besides, if he truly felt that way for her sister, what would her admission do? It wouldn't be fair.
Gulping forcibly, she met his eye, mirroring his smile. Her eyes traced the curve of his lips and knew she couldn't upset him. There were too many unsaid conversations but she had left them too late.
"Of course." Her voice sounded a little strangled. Attempting a better confirmation, she tried to sound pleased for them. "Of course I am!"
His grin grew wider, if possible, and he looked over to Melissa. Rachel took a moment to watch him before he started to walk away from her to follow her sister out of the hall. Taking a minute to recollect herself, Rachel exhaled slowly. She took advantage of the empty hall to slip through the farthest door and hurry back to her office. There was no intention on her part to see any of her staff or agree to their celebration afterwards. She simply couldn't face it.
Eddie.
There is not much else to say. I wish I could express my feelings as I have previously in this journal. But I feel for now, it is best that I say nothing at all.
AN
I haven't forgotten about this. This chapter seems a little here and there to me, so sorry if it's not much. I've been so busy with the last few months of uni and then my summer job, but I'm taking a break so I should be able to get some more of this pumped out at a much regular speed. I really do want to get this done.
Also, I've struggled a little with where to take this. Season 4 isn't actually that full of interactions between Rachel and Eddie for their relationship until later and I don't want to cover things that aren't useful to the story (hence the lack of letters too- don't want to repeat myself). So I've had a think and I know where I'm going for the next few, as well as how to take the present day interactions forward.
Hope this is okay and thanks to all you who have stuck with this, during my updates and between them! Means so much!