Bella was feeling really ill. Hot then cold then hot then cold, cramps and she had been vomiting on and off for most of the morning but she really didn't want to go home and sit on the sofa eating peanut butter out of a jar and watching shitty soap opera's. She picked up the pile of patient notes that were hers to lug around for the day. She took the top one without looking at it and called across the E.D to Ruth. The blonde doctor was staring into space and Bella could use some backup, "Ruth mate, I have a patient in cubicle six that you might be interested in, do you fancy taking a look?"

Ruth frowned, she seemed to be on the crux of making a decision, and then she nodded slowly.

Bella was concerned, it wasn't like Ruth to be unenthusiastic about shadowing Bella, "Are you okay?"

Ruth's tone was serious and she was frowning, "I need to talk to you."

Bella nodded, pulling her friend into Nick's office knowing that he wouldn't mind, "Ruth, whatever it is, you can tell me? I promise, I won't tell anyone else."

Ruth shook her head. "No, I'm not sure that's a promise that you can keep."

Bella frowned, worried now. "What is it?"

Ruth looked tortured, her face crumpled. "I- Mr Jordan thinks- I probably - I'm pregnant."

Bella inhaled sharply. "Does he know?" She was referring to Jay, "Ruth you have got to tell him, you can't make him go through that again. Last time it nearly killed both of you, and you know it. If you don't tell him, I'll have too. He deserves to know this time."

Ruth nodded slowly, "I know that, I just- I don't think I can do this."

Bella pulled Ruth into a hug, finding tears in her own eyes. "Oh god, we are a right pair aren't we Ru. What are we going to do with ourselves?"

"What do you mean?" Ruth was suddenly confused.

Bella pulled away. "Snap, whatever that game is called, I'm pregnant."

"What?" And then Ruth frowned, "And have you told Dr Keogh-"

Bella interrupted sharply, "That's different."

Ruth raised an eyebrow, "How is that different in any way?"

"Jay's- Dylan is, well you know what Dylan's like. If I tell him he'll be half the way to timbuctu before you can say responsibilities. And I don't want to lose him."

"So how are you planning to explain the baby that pops out at the end?"

Bella bit her lip, "I wasn't."

"Great plan Bella. You're planning to hide a pregnancy from the sherlock holmes of emergency medicine-"

Bella laughed. Sherlock Holmes. Ruth had just unintentionally reminded her of a private joke that Dylan and her had always had. Bella bit her lip seeing that Ruth was giving her was giving her a look that suggested that Ruth thought that Bella had gone mad.

Her friend continued, "and then when you give birth you're just going to hope he doesn't notice."

Bella was still smiling, she shrugged, "Sounded so much better in my head, I promise."

"I think congratulations are in order for that masterplan."

Bella stopped laughing, suddenly finding the humour had gone. "The sarcasm is appreciated as always Ruth."

"Sorry."

"You're right though. I have just been lucky. Super lucky. I've been sick in front of him at least 3 times. And I nearly fainted the other week and he had to take me home-"

Ruth looked slightly concerned, "Is morning sickness really that bad?"

Bella shrugged, "I think it might just be me. I tell you, it's the last woman I tell to piss off when they come in complaining that they have extreme morning sickness."

Ruth smiled, looking away. And then Bella sniggered, shaking her head. Ruth frowned, "Sorry, it's not funny."

Bella smiled, "It it is a bit." She sighed, "Do you think I should tell him?"

"I know you should tell him."

Bella nodded, "I know I should tell him." But she couldn't, not yet anyway. Not with this headache, she needed to prepare herself for the outcome. She groaned, "Can you prescribe me some bendectin?"

Ruth smiled, "You look terrible."

"Oh thanks."

"Go home Bella. This department doesn't need your assistance 24/7. You need some sleep. And to eat some food. Doctor's orders. Go on. I'll take your cases."

"Ruth-"

"No arguments. Go."

Bella rolled her eyes, "Fine, fine, fine. My notes are on the nurses station." She wandered out of Nick's office and staight into the staffroom, not wanting to go home and be alone. The sofa looked inviting but she would be cold. Semi-delirious and without even thinking why she pulled open the door of Dylan's locker, using a credit card to open the lock. Now that was an old habit... She pulled out the jacket that she knew that she would find and curled up on the sofa without much more of a thought. She was too tired and too cold to care whether it was a good idea.

Just before the end of his shift Dylan walked into the staff room hoping to get home early. He found Bella was lying on the sofa, using his jacket as a blanket. "Bella?"

Bella sat up sleepily, blinking in the light. "Hey- Dr Dylan – what?"

"How did you get my jacket?"

"Oh sorry, I was cold. I picked the lock." Bella yawned and handed him his jacket. She really felt awful. Awful enough to forget that Dylan and herself weren't on speaking terms any more and stealing his jacket to use as a blanket was poor form.

"You-"

Bella stood up, suddenly realising that Dylan was looking at her strangely. "I'm fine. I don't know why I even-" But she had stood up too quickly, and vision shifted. "Eurgh."

Dylan placed his hand on her forehead. "You're feeling a bit hot."

Bella pulled away with a groan, turning so Dylan couldn't see her expression. She muttered, "I was sick this morning. And again later."

"I know, I was there." Dylan frowned, pulling Bella round and looking into her eyes with his pentorch. "Any other symptoms?"

"Just a bit spaced out really."

"You're a consultant of emergency medicine and you've been a fully qualified doctor for however long and all you come up with is 'a bit spaced out'. Dizzy? Disorientated?"

"A bit like coming down from-" Seeing Dylan's face she stopped herself. They were really from different worlds. What was she doing? "A bit shaky and weak. Look, like you said, I'm a doctor, I'm fine." She shivered.

Dylan shook his head, "I'm going to run some tests."

Bella was feeling ill, but even she knew that letting Dylan run a blood test on her would be a bad idea. "I'm fine. Really, just go." She bit her lip.

Dylan looked at her again, "Are you crying?" In all the time he had known Bella she had never, ever cried. Bella rubbed at her eyes, blinking furiously. "Just watery eyes. I'm sorry I borrowed your coat, I just wasn't thinking right. But I am fine." She turned to leave, but Dylan's hand caught her shoulder. "Bella."

Bella let herself enjoy the feeling of his warm hand on her back, the feeling of being safe- she blinked, stopping herself and stepped away. "I'm fine."

"You are not fine. Let me take you to cubicles-"

"No Dylan, please don't- I'm fine. Just-"

"Nope, just let me go home."

"You came in on your bike this morning, you can't go home on that like this." Dylan picked up his jacket and put it over her shoulders. "Come on, I'll take you home." Bella tried to protest but Dylan wasn't having any of it. He grabbed her bag, shut his locker and helped Bella out of the E.D

.

Bella was sat in her living room, on the sofa with a half-empty jar of peanut butter in her hand. It had taken a lot of willpower to say goodbye to Dylan at the door. She could have invited him in, so easily. A coffee? A chat? Any number of excuses had rushed to her head. Wait to see if I'm okay? But she knew what was wrong with her. Her body did not like being pregnant. Pregnant. What Ruth had said was bouncing around her head. She could tell him, but she couldn't. The words would never come out right. He would freak out, he wouldn't be able to deal with it. He would leave her, and she didn't, no she couldn't take rejection. But he did deserve to know. Her child deserved to know. For the first time ever she really, really didn't know what to do.

reviews are always loved and appreciated people hint hint