Summary: Ichigo's birthdays were nuts, to say the least, but at least this one turned out pretty good. Until 'That which Must not be Spoken of' happened. Damn Isshin and his craziness.

Characters: Ichigo Kurosaki, Isshin Kurosaki, short appearance of Yuzu and Karin Kurosaki, random emergency service members.

Pairings: None to really list.

Mood: Funny, fun, family pretty much.

Theme: Ah, reviewing old comments on dA, really.

Sunday afternoon, July 15th

"So you mind telling me what happened again?"

"I was punching my father in the head when I managed to ram into the damn pole, okay?!"

"Why were you punching your father?"

"Because he is an idiot, all right?! If you had to handle his crap for the past nine years, you would wanna hit him, too!"

"Look, what happens in your family stays in your family, kid."

Isshin pinched the bridge of his nose, knowing that even thought Ichigo respected the law, there was only so much of the police and their frustration he could handle. "Ichigo, call Yuzu and tell her we'll be late. I'll handle the rest of this."

Ichigo gave a look of pure joy at that before jogging away from the mess of police cars, an ambulance, and their ruined mini-van.

It had started out as a simple outing an hour earlier. Isshin treated Ichigo to a nice birthday lunch at his son's favorite Chinese place, Ichigo getting a rather cryptic (and strange, as far as he was concerned) fortune cookie.

"'A car crash in unavoidable in your future.'" Ichigo read, frowning at the slip of paper. "What a load of bullshit."

"Ichigo, watch your mouth. You may be eighteen, but you're in public."

"Sorry dad, but this fortune is so... Well, stupid for lack of a better term. I'm not going to crash the car."

"And I trust you. Just try to relax, okay?" Isshin said, settling the bill and tossing Ichigo the car keys. "I did promise, after all."

"Sweet! Let's go, dad!"

Isshin chuckled and guided his son to the car, settling in the passenger seat. "You remember what to do, right?"

"Yes, dad." Ichigo muttered, starting the mini van and shutting the radio off to focus. 'Just relax, Ichigo.' He told himself, slowly pulling out.

At least until his father started cheering and shouting about how proud he was of his son for being able to drive and that he was a man at last and: "Masaki, Ichigo is driving a car! I am so proud of him!"

"DAD! SHUT THE HELL UP!" Ichigo screamed, glaring at his father and punching the man in the eye, now officially pissed since he had been so normal since he had awoken that morning!

Then the car veered off the street, up the curb and into a lamp post, the front of the car ruined from the crash and air bags released.

The emergency services were called, as was the electric company to repair the pole, cops interviewing Ichigo and EMTs tending to his moronic father an hour later after lunch.

"Yuzu, hey, calm down. Everything is fine. Why don't you hand the phone to Karin, hmm?"

"Ichi-nii! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!" She shrieked into the phone, making him wince and yank his cell phone away from his ear.

"Dad was pulling his stupid father act and all I did was punch him! The car veered off the road and into a damn lamp post, okay?! Dad has black eye and EMTs are treating him! I'm perfectly okay, save for a couple bruises from impact, so please calm Yuzu and tell her?"

Karin agreed, albeit grudgingly, and hung up, and Ichigo returned to his father, running a hand through his hair nervously. "Dad, sorry about punching you..."

"It's all right, Ichigo. It was my fault for yelling and shouting, so don't worry about it." He apologized, patting his son's leg once he sat beside him at the request of an EMT.

"Next time you are in the car with me, shut the hell up, dad." Ichigo grumbled, letting the woman give him a rather... Grope filled exam to make sure he was all right. Jesus, what was with woman being all touchy feel-y with him these days?

"All right, you two. You can get a ride home with my partner since you both seem to be pretty okay." An officer said, stepping forward to talk to Isshin. "Try not to distract your son again while he's driving, sir. It could have ended a lot worse than just the car around a lamp post."

Isshin nodded and sighed, wrapping an arm around Ichigo's shoulders. "We're both safe and all right, that's all that matters right now, Ichigo."

The orange haired man nodded, just relaxing against his father. "Can we go home now? I just want to comfort Yuzu and crash for a while."

"Sounds like a plan, Ichigo." Isshin guided him up and over to the police car, both slipping into the back and settling in, the ride home silent and calm compared to the "Incident" that just happened.

In Ichigo's eyes, it wasn't that bad a birthday. Better than the last eight years at least...

A/N: So, ~dreaminxinxlife on deviantART did this cute picture of Ichigo getting a driving lesson from his father and I had written a short thing for it in the comments but never took the time to make it into something more, ya know? But then the other night I figured: Why the hell not? And went with it, belted this out, posted to dA & AO3 and here we are today!

Did I mention I now have an Archive of Our Own account? No, good because you had better look up caribouandcake on AO3 and show that woman some love! Serious as a heart attack right now, go look her up on the site! If you wanna stalk her, I will personally use all my invites to send you a join request for the site since it is still in the beta and they gave me ten invitations to use. Still got nine! So that means you had better invite some people, reader. Sorta Pay It Forward kinda thing.