A/N: I have been so excited to write this chapter cause it is one of my favorite episodes. I started school So I don't know if I'll be able to write as often but I plan to try! So enjoy(:
Disclaimer: I only own Maddie.
Episode: What Is and What Should Never Be
The last couple weeks had been on edge. Dean and Sam couldn't shake off everything I had told them. A part of me wishes I had never opened my damn mouth, but knowing our background, it was going to come out one way or another.
Dean never let me out of his sights unless it was to use the bathroom or shower. Sam barely slept. He was always researching to see if he could find more about what was going on with me and even him. I flinched every time I heard a noise out of the ordinary and I think Sam was starting to notice it too, and the worst part is I think he was starting to feel bad for me. The last thing I need is fucking sympathy.
"Dean?" Sam looked out the window through the cheap motel curtains. I went to stand next to him to see what he was looking at. Outside there was a police car parked. "There's a cop car outside." Sam was on the phone with Dean, while Dean was out at scoping out places in his car.
"You think it's for us?" I asked. It wouldn't surprise me if they had found us. We were basically America's most wanted at this point.
"I don't know," Sam answered not taking his eyes off the window.
"I don't see how. I mean we ditched the plates, the credit cards." Dean said through the phone. Sam put him on speakerphone so I could hear. The cop car eventually drove away and I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding.
Sam let out a breath too, "They're leaving. False alarm."
"You see? Nothing to worry about." Dean assured.
"Yeah? Being fugitives, freaking dance party," Sam rolled his eyes sarcastically.
"Hey man, chicks dig the dangerous vibe."
Sam shook his head and stood in front of the piles of books placed on the table and on top was Dad's journal.
We had found a hunt a couple of days ago. People were disappearing, the usual signs to know that it was something for us too look into, the only thing is we didn't know what it could be yet.
"So, you got anything yet?" Sam asked, looking through the pile of crap.
"Are you kidding me? How could I? You got me sifting through like 50 square miles of real estate here," I laughed at Dean's over exaggeration.
"Well that's where all the victim's disappeared," Sam shrugged not seeing what the big deal was.
"Yeah, well I got at least squat," Dean sighed, "What about you guys?"
"Just one thing, I'm pretty sure of it now," Sam pulled another book closer, "We're hunting a Djinn."
"A freaking genie?" Dean asked incredulously.
"Yeah."
"Do you think they can actually grant wishes?" I asked taking the seat next to where Sam was standing.
"I don't know. I guess they're powerful enough. But not exactly like Barbara Eden and the harem pants. I mean, Djinn have been feeding off people for centuries. They're all over the Koran."
"My God. Barbara Eden was hot, wasn't she? Way hotter than that Bewitched chick," Dean was now in his own mind, and out of the real situation. I looked at Sam with an eye roll.
"Are you even listening to me," Sam asked annoyed.
"Yeah," Dean snapped out of his daydream and gave Sam his full attention, "So what do the Djinn's lair at?"
"Ruins usually. Uh the bigger the better—more places to hide."
"Yeah, I think I saw a place a couple miles back. I'm gonna go check it out." On the other end you could hear shuffling as Dean gathered his stuff.
"No, no, no, no come pick us up first," Sam urgently pleaded demanded. It was a horrible idea for Dean to go alone but I knew Dean wasn't going to make the trip back.
"No. I'm sure it's nothing. I just wanna take a look around." Dean assured as if that was going to make us feel any better about the situation. I was just smart enough not to argue cause I knew that wouldn't get us anywhere.
Dean hung up the phone and Sam lowered his head with a sigh. I looked over with small grin, "We could always just hot wire a car and go find him," Sam gave me a look. Dean and I had been teasing him, by suggesting all these illegal plans. Sam was so against every thing that had to go against the law in this time. He didn't want another set of cops up our asses. I put my hands up in surrender, "Or not."
DEAN'S POV:
After hanging up with Sam on the phone, I drove to an empty factory I saw when driving past it. I put my car in parked and stalked towards the building, pointing my flashlight in every direction and walked down the dark, narrow hallways.
I felt something pass me on my right and snapped in that direction but saw nothing there so I walked on. Next thing I know, I'm being pushed against the wall by a human figure that had tattoo's all over it's body. His hand rose and blue smoke formed over his skin. He reached his hand to touch my forehead but I tried pulling away, but it was of no use. I blacked out.
I snapped awake to the noise of a black and white movie playing to my right. I looked around my surroundings, and realized I was in some kind of bedroom. I grasped the sheet covers and saw a naked women wrapped in sheets to my right.
I quietly shuffled out of bed, hoping not to wake the stranger lying next to me. I walked into what looked like a living room and dialed Sam's phone right away. After a few rings he finally answered, but he sounded confused.
"Dean?"
"Sam!" I let out a breath of relief.
"What's going on?"
"I don't know, I don't know where I am," I paced the room and looked at all these different picture frames on shelves and on the walls. They were of the girl who I woke up with and me, holding each other like a couple. The last thing I remember is the Djinn attacking me, then I woke up here.
"What? What happened?"
"The uh, the Djinn, it attacked me."
"The gin?" Sam asked not understanding a word I just said, "You're drinking gin?"
"No, asshat. The Djinn. The uh, scary creature. Remember? It put its hand on me and I woke up next to some hot chick..." I looked down the hall to make sure she wasn't there listening. To her, I would sound like crazy person.
"Who? Carmen?"
"Who?" I narrowed my eyes at nothing.
"Dean, you're drunk. You're drunk-dialing me."
"I'm not drunk! Stop screwing around!" I was starting to get frustrated. I didn't know where I am, I don't know why Sam is playing stupid, and I don't know who the hell that girl was.
"Look, it's late…I'll just see you tomorrow, OK?"
"Wait! Sam! Sam!" I whispered called into the phone but he hung up.
I hung up and tried calling Maddie. She didn't answer. I shut my phone off and shoved it back in my pockets. I walked over to the dresser and picked up the pile of mail. They were addressed to me with an address from Kansas. Other envelopes were addressed to Carmen, same address too.
"Lawrence?" We were in Lawrence? No, I hunted the Djinn in Illinois. "What the hell?"
"Honey?" A sweet voice asked, "What are you doing up?"
I turned around and saw the woman I woke up to, "Hey Carmen. Carmen, uh, I just uh," I stuttered trying to figure out a lie to say but I didn't know what I could say that might have been right.
"Aw, you cant sleep huh?" She walked closer and pulled her robe tighter. She was a petite, dark brunette, with beautiful big eyes.
"Yeah," I sighed.
She wrapped her hands around my neck and brought her face closer to mine. She stood on her tip toes so our heights were almost the same, "Well why don't we go back to bed and let's see if there is anything I can do to help," She whispered seductively.
"Yes," I said a little too quickly but I had to remember that this couldn't be real and that I should try and figure out what is going on first, "In a minute, you—you go ahead."
She smiled back at me, "Ok, don't stay up too long."
I smiled back at her as she walked away. I turned around, the smile dropping and I ran a hand through my hair. I walked closer to one of the picture frames when I saw something I thought I recognized and I was right.
In the frame stood, my mother, sister, brother, me, and my dad. It looked like we were a few years younger, and we were standing in front of our old house. I picked up the frame and stared at it, stunned. I dropped it the second I realized my mother could be alive. The glass shattered and ran out the door and sped to my old house.
When I pulled up I raced to the door rang the doorbell multiple times and banged on the door hard, my anxiousness getting the better of me. The porch lights flicked on and the door opened.
My mother was dressed in a white robe and her long, wavy blonde hair was messier than I remembered. Probably cause I just woke her up in the middle of the night. "Dean," She looked at me concerned.
I could only stare at her for a few seconds, not believing my eyes. My mother was here in the flesh, alive, and breathing. I really wished Maddie were here. She always wanted to know what she looked like in person since she had no memory of her. "Mom?"
"What are you doing here? Are you alright?"
"I don't know," I admitted in a whisper. I felt my eyes begin to water.
"Well," She stepped aside, "Come inside."
I walked inside slowly. I wasn't able to take my eyes off of her. I felt like if I lost my gaze she would be gone forever again, and the good moment would be gone.
"Carmen just called; said you took off all of a sudden. She's worried about you," Mom closed the door and walked further into the living room. She stood in the middle and crossed her arms over her chest, and if she were to have an annoyed look on her face, she would have looked just like my sister.
"Carmen?" Then I remembered. Apparently that was the girl I live with. "Right, I uh, let me ask you a question. When I was kid, what did you always tell me before putting me to sleep."
"Dean I don't understand—"
"Just answer," I pleaded quietly, "Please."
She had no idea where I was going with this. She narrowed her eyes and answered, "I said that angels are watching over you."
"I cant believe it." She was right. I walked over to her and hugged her tight thinking that if I let go she would be gone forever.
"Honey, you're scaring me," She admitted and I immediately let go. "Now, just tell me what's going on."
"You don't think that wishes…could really…" I trailed off when she looked at me confused, "Forget it." I hugged her again, "I get it, I just uh, I'm just really happy to see you." I pulled away and looked down on her. It was crazy how much her and Maddie looked alike. Their hair was the same, height was about accurate—"You're beautiful."
"What?" She smiled.
"Hey when I was young, was there ever a fire?" I walked towards the wall that was filled with books and pictures.
"No. Never."
"I thought there was," I shrugged and picked up a picture of my parents, Sam, Maddie, and I smiling in front of our house. Maddie was as young as 3 and my dad had the biggest smile on his face. "I guess I was wrong."
There was another picture of me in a baseball cap, another was a picture of as a teenager standing with what looked like my prom date. There was a picture of Sam as a graduate, and an action shot of Maddie playing soccer. There was another picture that got me to smile. Dad was in a softball uniform, smiling big for the camera.
"Dad's on a softball team," I said to myself. I turned to mom and she was looking at me seriously. "Dads… dad's on a softball team. It's…that's funny to me." Dad never was one to be on a softball team.
"He loved that stupid team," She said sadly.
I looked down at the picture and looked back up at her, my mood slightly changing, "Dad's dead? And the thing that killed him was a…"
"A stroke?" She looked at me skeptically, "He died in his sleep, you know that."
I couldn't help me grin to myself. Dad died a normal death which meant he had nothing to do with hunting which meant that we had normal childhoods. "That's great."
"Excuse me?" Mom asked like I offended her.
"That—that's great. That he went peacefully I mean. That—that sure beats the alternative."
"What's going on?" I turned around towards the stairs and saw Maddie walking down with her arms crossed like she was shielding herself from the cold air. Hell, I don't blame her. She was dressed in blue short, and I mean really really short, shorts, and a white tank top that revealed some of her stomach. Her hair was up in a high pony tail. She looked awfully tired.
"Madds—" I breathed out and the smile formed back on my face. She looked at me confused and back to our mother.
"What are you doing here?" She walked closer and leaned in on the door frame.
"Honey—" Mom tried to soothe her. I don't know what crawled up her ass, but something tells me we have some sort of a problem.
"Is he drunk?"
"What? No, I'm not drunk," I turned back to mom who looked unsure, "I'm not drunk," I assured her.
"Oh that makes sense because you're such a family man," Maddie glared and I looked at her confused.
"Sweetie—" Mom was cut off by an infant's cry coming from upstairs. Maddie sighed and walked upstairs. My eyes grew wide and felt my stomach churn. No. No way in hell.
Maddie walked down a few minutes later with a baby that looked no older than six months old in a pink onesie crying for dear life. "She has a—" I stuttered on my words like word vomit, "She has a baby?"
She smiled sadly, "I guess you just weren't there to scare away the boys."
"No, no, no," I shook my head no believing that statement for a second. I thought back to all the guys I scared away, and then I thought of that douche bag Braden. The only reason Maddie has not had a boyfriend is because of me, and kind of Sam, but mostly me. That was my job to scare away the boys. It's in the brothers handbook for goodness sake.
"I'm just gonna call Carmen and tell her to pick you up, Ok?" Mom walked over to the phone.
I quickly stopped her and put my hand over her's which was over the phone, "Wait! No, no!"
"Why?"
"Because I—I missed the place," I looked over the corner into the kitchen where I saw Maddie sitting down on at kitchen table feeding the bottle to the baby girl. "Don't do that. I wanna stay here. I miss the place. It—it's okay. You go to bed, OK?"
"Are you sure you're alright?"
"I think so," I admitted.
"OK," She walked closer to me and whispered in my ear, "Don't bother her, okay? Let me sleep in peace tonight?" She smiled and walked upstairs.
I took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen where Maddie was. She barely casted me a glance as she patted the baby's back and looked over several text books and notes. I sat down next to her looking over her stuff. She was looking over history homework and old tests that had a big fat A marked on every one. She was a straight A student? Maddie hated school.
"What?" I looked up and Maddie narrowed her eyes at me.
I shrugged, "I didn't know you were so into school," I picked up one of her tests, "Straight A student—you're like a mini Sam." She scoffed and looked at me with the biggest 'what the hell' look. "What? Is that a bad thing?"
She scoffed, "Look, If I wanna get a good job to support Emily and I then I have to get into a good school and I cant do that if fail my classes and sit at the garage for the rest of my life." She brought her crying baby back on her lap and tried to sway her back to sleep, "And it would be a lot easier if Sam were here to help me, he was always good at this school stuff. It just sucks he turned out to be such an arrogant douche you know?"
"Why do you say that?" I looked at her confused.
She laughed, but no humor was in her tone, "Dean, he doesn't really want anything to do with the family since we're not all scholars like him. I think he cares about his reputation a little too much. I mean he didn't even come to the hospital to see me when Emily was born," She looked back at her baby and pinched the girl's nose cutely. "I mean, I would expect to see him there more than you…no offense."
"None taken," I said quietly finding it really hard to believe Sam would ditch our sister on such a hard time in her life.
"And I mean he still blames you for all the stupid stuff you did as a teen. Basically since we're not as perfect as him, he could care less."
"Wow you have a lot of deep down anger for the guy don't you," I shook my head.
"It just kind sucks, ya know?" she held up her baby and made funny faces her at her. I smiled at the sight. I never thought that Maddie would be the one to handle a baby on her own and act all cute with it. If it were the Maddie I knew, she would have left the baby crying upstairs cause she wouldn't feel like getting her.
I coughed awkwardly, "Speaking of uh, Emily, who is her father?"
She looked at me like I should know that one, "My ex, Harry…"
"Right, Harry," I snapped like I knew that, "And not Braden."
"Whose Braden?" She asked confused.
"Ah, that's my sister," I smiled, "Here, how about, you study and do whatever and I'll take care of Emily."
"Are you sure?"
I motioned for her to give me the baby and she did. "Thanks, Dean."
"Sure," I walked the baby and I over to the living room couch and played with her a little, making funny faces, tried playing peek a boo, and tickled her tummy to see her beautiful smile. I was never good with kids, but this baby was too adorable. She had her mother's eyes and smile that I couldn't get enough of. She had an effect on me that I never thought anyone would get. I felt bound to this beautiful infant, like it was my job to protect her.
I held her close as she drifted to a peaceful sleep on my chest. I rubbed my hand down her barely haired head and fell asleep myself.
When I woke up, I looked down to the gurgling baby who looked down at me with big, glossy, blue eyes. At first I was confused on why there was a baby on me but then I remembered where I was. I couldn't fight the smile to come to my face. "She really likes you." I looked up and saw my mom leaning against the door frame with a cup of coffee in her hand, smiling down at me. I sat up and held Emily in my lap.
"Where's Maddie?" I asked.
She walked over to me and grabbed the baby out of my hands and bounced her on her hip, "She fell asleep on her text books last night. The poor thing—I told her to go upstairs and rest when I saw her this morning." She walked into the kitchen and started making Emily a bottle.
On the stand next to the couch was another picture of me, my parents and siblings when I was about 15 smiling at the camera with Santa hats placed upon our head, and me holding bunny ears above Sam's head. Maddie sat upon dad's lap. He looked like she was tickling her and she was laughing hard. Mom was looking over at them and laughing along side with them.
As much as I really wanted to stay in this world, I knew something wasn't right and I had to make sure I wasn't going crazy. I dialed Sam's number one more time, but it went straight to his voicemail. I cursed under my breath and hung up the phone.
I grabbed my jacket and drove to the closest college to talk to a professor who would know anything about a Djinn. Luckily, someone was able to see me and I was sitting behind an older African American's desk as I tried to explain that I was one of his students.
The professor laughed and shook his head, "I don't think I have ever seen you in my class."
"You kidding me? I love your lectures. You…you make learning fun" I lied and we both laughed.
"So what can I do for you?" He folded his hands together.
"What can you tell me about a Djinn."
He gathered all these mythology and ancient books from his shelves and opened them up to certain pages. I glanced over the writings and pictures and recognized one of the drawings as the man who zapped me into this unrealistic world.
"A lot of Muslims believe that the Djinn is very real. They've mentioned in the Koran. " He explained and ran his finger over the pages as he now stood beside me.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Now, get to the wish part." I didn't have all day, but I had to know if the Djinn's could actually make wishes come true. I had always wished that the Supernatural world never existed, and that mom was still alive.
"What about it?"
"Do you think they could really do it?" I asked.
"Um... Uh, no. No, I don't think they can really do it," He looked at me concerned, "You understand these are mythic creatures?"
"Yeah, I know. I-I-I know. I know. But uh... I mean in the stories. You know. Say you had a wish uh. But you never even said it out loud. You know, like that ah... that a loved one never died. Or that ah, something awful never happened."
"Supposedly, yes. I mean they have Godlike power. They can alter reality however they want. Past. Present. Future," He answered.
"Why would the Djinn do it? It was self-defense? Or maybe it's not really evil…" I rambled on.
"Son?" He looked down on me like I had two heads.
"Yeah," I snapped out of my thoughts to look at him.
"Have you been drinking?"
"You know everyone has been asking me that, but, uh, no."
I left the man's office and walked back over to my car. I opened the trunk to the Impala and found old magazines, paper cups, and used up rags. There were no guns, knives, salt rounds, or any weapons of any kind.
"Who would have thought, baby, we're civilians," I talked to the car and closed the trunk and looked over to some building.
Everything seemed normal except for the girl, staring at me as others paid no attention to her acted like she wasn't even there. She looked beat up. Her face was grey, with bruises around her arms and legs. She wore a white dress that was an inch below her knees. The dress was torn and covered in blood spatter. She stared at me, sending shivers down my body.
I crossed the street, not taking my eyes off of her, and walked towards her. Suddenly a car screeches to a halt to try to avoid running in to me. At the sudden sound, I snap my head to the car. The driver honked the horn for a few seconds. I held my hand to him and looked back to where the girl had been, no longer seeing her there anymore. She was gone.
I drove back home to my mother's house where she had gratefully made me lunch. I sat down at the table and took a huge bite out of the sandwich, and closed my eyes in delight when the food hit my taste buds.
"This is the best sandwich ever," I called out to my mom with my mouth full.
"Thank you," She called back.
"I tried to get hold of Sam earlier. Where - where - where is he?"
"He should be here soon," She answered.
"Good, dying to see him," I say more to myself tan her.
She walked back into the kitchen and set down the rag she was using to dust the other rooms, and counter tops. She sat at the seat next to me, "Sweetie, I... Don't get me wrong. I am thrilled you are... hanging out here... all of a sudden," she quickly stroked my chin, and my heart warmed at the motherly affection that I had missed so much, "But shouldn't you be at work?"
"Work?"
"At the garage…" She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Right. The garage. It's where I work, yeah. No, I-I've got the day off," I lied. The thought of being somewhere else besides home never really occurred to me. I never wanted to leave.
I finished eating and through the paper plate out and walked over to look out the window. The sky was blue and the grass was bright green, yelling at me to cut it.
"The lawn looks like it could use some mowing," I stated.
"You wanna mow the lawn?" Mom looked over at me skeptically.
"You kidding? I would love to mow the lawn," I admitted. I would love to do something any normal civilian would, considering I had never been given the opportunity.
"Knock yourself out," She nodded, "Could think you never mowed the lawn a day in your life." I couldn't help but look so happy.
I went outside and started the lawn mower. The purr of the engine was enough to make me smile. I guided it across the grass, obviously struggling a few times to turn it in the direction I wanted it to go in a few times since I had never done this before, but other than that, it went pretty well. And in the end, the grass looked amazing. I even waved to the neighbor across the street, cause that's what I seen in movies. But from the looks of his face, I don't think people did it in real life.
Later, I sat on the porch, with a beer in my hand as I stared off, thinking to myself how great this life was. Nothing life threatening out to get me or my family, not enough stress to cause me chest pain, and sleeping in a normal house was too relieving.
Then, a car drove up and parked itself in front of the house. I narrowed my eyes to see who it could be. "I don't believe this," I mumbled to myself when I saw Sam and his beautiful and alive, girlfriend, Jess.
I got up to greet them as they got out of the car. I basically attacked Jess with a bone crushing hug. This was the woman who made my brother happy, and she wasn't dead. She was here, with Sam, alive. "Jessica," I sighed, finding it hard it believe that she was actually here.
"You're uh… Good to see you, Dean," she said back. I couldn't let go, "Can't breathe."
"Right," I pulled her away and gave her one last smile and looked over to Sam, "Sammy."
"Hey," He said back, continuing to take the luggage out of the trunk.
"Look at you. You're with Jessica…I—I don't believe this," The big smile never left my face.
"Yeah," Sam laughed more at me but I ignored it.
"Where you guys coming from?" I asked.
"We just flew in from…Califor—"
"California!" I finished for him, "Stanford. Huh? Law School, I bet."
Sam shook his head and motioned to the beer in my hand, "I see you started off mom's birthday with a bang as usual."
My smile dropped, "Wait. Mom's birthday…that's today?"
"Yeah. Yeah, Dean. That's today. That's why we're here. Don't tell me you forgot."
"Wha—"
"Sam!" Mom walked out the door and embraced her younger son in a tight hug. "Come inside," She motioned for us to follow her.
Maddie was inside back at the books. When she saw Sam walk through the door she easily ignored him and focused in on her notes, her child playing in the play pin in the back corner. Sam didn't even spare her a glance as he walked his and Jess's bags up the stairs.
When he came back down, he had to walk past Maddie to get to the kitchen where Mom was. "Well hello to you too, Madison," He said sarcastically.
"Hi," She mumbled, not taking her eyes off her paper. I stood there with a blank expression. This couldn't be right. Maddie and I fought more than her and Sam, but now, that wasn't the case.
"Too stubborn to talk to me huh," He shook his head, "When will you ever grow up?"
"Oh, hey, Sam," She replied back sarcastically, "This is your niece, Emily, in case you ever wanted to meet her. She's the biggest pride and joy in this family than you will ever be."
"Oh yeah, being the daughter of a teen mom is so accomplishing. I feel real threatened," Sam placed a hand over his heart sarcastically and glared at her.
Maddie opened her mouth but Mom beat her to it. "Hey, come on now. Not on my birthday, please?" Maddie shot one last glare before picking up her daughter and walking upstairs with her.
"We should go get ready for dinner," Jess placed a hand on Sam's shoulder comfortingly and they walked upstairs too.
"You should go home and get ready too. Carmen must be worried sick," Mom mumbled, sadly.
"Do you think they'll always be like that?" I asked referring to Sam and Maddie.
"I don't know," She admitted and my heart broke with her tone, "I sure hope not."
We met later at dinner. It was a fancy Italian restaurant, apparently mom's favorite. I had Carmen next to me, who I learned was my actual dream girl. She knew me so well that it was almost creepy. Maddie sat next to Mom, with Emily right next to her in a height chair.
Maddie wore a navy blue cocktail dress with heels that looked impossible to walk in. Emily wore a cute light pink dress and a bow on top of her head.
Sam was dressed in a nice suit, with Jess by his side, acting all cute and couple-y with each other. It was so nice to see him so happy and getting the fairy tail ending he deserved. I just hated how my sister reacted to him, and vice versa.
"Alright, mom," Sam clinked his glass with a fork to get everyone's attention. He raised his glass for a toast, "To mom." He rose his glass and looked at her lovingly, "Happy birthday."
"Happy birthday," Jess repeated.
"Thank you," Mom smiled and we all clinked our glass together with a cheer.
"To mom," I say. Sam leans over and kisses Jessica and usually the PDA would have made me vomit, but this time I felt it heart warming.
Carmen leaned over to me and said quietly, "I was really worried about you last night."
"Oh, I'm good… I'm really good," And it was true. I was really good and I loved this reality so much more than the other one and I really hope it can stay like this.
"Okay, what do you say later, we get you a cheese burger?"
"Oh, god, yes," I smiled, "How did I end up with such a cool chick?"
"Just got low standards," She teased and I leaned in to kiss her too.
"Alright, Jess and I actually have another surprise for mom's birthday," Sam announced. We looked up at him expectantly. He looked over to Jess, "Ah, you wanna tell him?"
"They're your family," She muttered quietly.
"Alright,"
"Tell me what?" Mom asked with a smile on her face that was bright enough to light up the room.
Sam held up Jessica's left hand that wore a diamond ring on her ring finger, indicating that they were engaged.
Mom laughed happily, "Oh my god! That's so wonderful!"
At this point everyone has gotten up. Mom hugs Jessica and then hugs Sammy, whispering in his ear how much she wished dad was around for this and he wished the same.
"Congratulations, Sammy," I walked over to him. Even Madison had walked over and said the same thing—just called him Sam instead of Sammy.
"Thanks," He said and she moved over to talk to Jess and Carmen.
"I'm really glad you're happy," I couldn't be happier for Sam. He was finally getting his happy ending, and so was I.
I looked over Sam's shoulder and saw the same girl I had seen on the streets earlier today. I stopped in my tracks and slowly walked over to her. She was standing in the far corner. I kept bumping into waiters, and other people trying to get to this girl. I bumped shoulders with this one guy and glanced at him to make sure he was okay. When I looked back up she was gone again.
I turned around to see my family all looking at me, wondering what was going on. I was so confused. My wish of having a normal life was coming true, so how come I kept seeing some kind of spirit keep reappearing to me?
We all went back to mom's house and we were laughing as we walked through the door. "So, Dean, what, uh, what happened back at the restaurant?" Sam asked and Maddie looked up for an answer.
"Ah, I—I thought I saw someone, sure it's nothing," I lied.
"Well I had a lovely birthday. Thank you, good night," Mom smiled, took Emily from Maddie's arms and walked upstairs. Madds went to the kitchen.
"Good night," Jess and Carmen said together.
"Good night," I said.
"Night mom," Sam said and turned to the rest of us, "Well I'm beat," he turned to Jess and asked, "Ready to turn in?"
"Sure," She smiled.
"Alright, good night you guys."
"Wait a second. Wait a second. Come on, it's not even nine o'clock yet. Let's uh... Let's go have a drink or something." I tried.
"Yeah, maybe another time," Sam almost scoffed and I narrowed my eyes confusingly.
"Come on, man. Look at us. Huh? We both have beautiful women on our arms. You're engaged. Let's go celebrate."
Sam turned to the ladies, "Guys, can you excuse us? I would like to talk to my brother for a sec."
"Sure," Jess nodded, "Come on Carmen," They linked arms together and walked away.
Sam turned to me," Come here," We walked into the living room where Maddie now was, with a textbook on her lap. Never thought she would ever care about school this much.
"What?" I asked confused. Maddie shut her text book and looked at us with concern as she listened in on the conversation.
"Ok. What has gotten into you?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean this whole. Fuzzy, ecstasy trip thing."
"Sam, Dean's happy why can't you just let him be?" Maddie sighed and stood up.
Sam shot her a glare and looked back to me with an answer. "I'm just happy for you, Sammy."
"Yeah, right, that's another thing, since when do you call me Sammy?" Sam asked, "Dean, come on, we don't talk outside of holidays."
"We don't? Well we should, I mean you're my brother."
" "You're my brother?"" Sam repeated and Maddie looked between the two of us nervously.
I laughed, not seeing what the problem was with that statement, "Yeah."
"You know, that's what you said when you snaked my ATM card, or when you bailed on my graduation, or when you hooked up with Rachel Nave."
"Who?"
"Uh, my prom date…on prom night," Sam narrowed his eyes.
"Yeah that does kind of sound like me," I admitted to myself but looked at the two, "But come on guys. I'm not a bad guy, right Jail bait?"
"Jail bait?" Maddie crossed her arms, "Why'd you just call me Jail bait."
"Dean, she's not the good one either," Sam defended, "Although she is trying to be nice to you now, she's still mad at you for when you missed her sweet 16 dinner or even her graduation!"
"At least he didn't miss the birth of my child," She argued.
"You're 18, that child shouldn't even be here!"
"Grow up, Sam! She's here and she is staying, why can't you get that through you big head, you asshole."
"Why can't you stop whoring around?" He yelled back.
"Hey, hey, hey," I broke the two up and Maddie looked defeated. She also looked like she was gonna cry which was weird cause she doesn't cry in front of people, especially not over an argument like this one.
She shook her head and walked up stairs, tears sliding down her cheeks. Sam didn't seem worried about it and sighed looking at me. I took a step forward but he backed away, "No that, look, that's alright man, I-I just... You know I'm not asking you to change. I-I just I... I don't know, I... guess we just don't really have anything in common. You know?"
"Woah, woah, woah, woah, yes we do, yes we do. All three of us do," I shook my head, not believing any of this.
Sam laughed, "what?" his tone sounded like he knew I wasn't going to give him an accurate answer.
"Hunting."
"Hunting? I've never been hunting in my life, Dean, and neither has Madison. Hell, she is barely trusted with a butter knife."
"Yeah, well, we should go sometime. I…I think you guys would be great at it." I said, defeated.
Sam starts to walk away, "Get some rest, Dean."
/
I went back to the other house I shared with Carmen. She sat down beside me and offered me a beer.
"My favorite," I said, twisting the cap off, "Guess you know me pretty well.
"Afraid so," She sighed happily, and sat beside me, leaning her head against her hand, her elbow propped against the back of the couch, "You alright?"
I sighed, "Sammy and I…you know we don't get along," It was so sad to think that even in this normal world, my siblings didn't get along with each other. It's hard to believe since we were so close, you know, in a weird kind of way.
"Well, you don't spend a lot of time together. I mean, I just think you don't know each other all that well."
"Hm," I shrugged.
"For the record: He doesn't know what he is missing."
"I can fix things with Sam. I can make it up to him, to Maddie, to everyone."
She sat up straighter and narrowed her eyes, "Okay, what has gotten into you lately?"
"This isn't gonna make a lick of sense to you. But I kind of feel like I've been given a second chance. And I don't wanna waste it."
She nodded, "You're right that doesn't make a lot of sense."
I leaned in and kissed her. She kissed me back. "You know, I get it."
"get what?" She asked when we pulled away.
"Why you're the one." I smiled. I never thought I would be the one to get tied down to someone but this girl understood me, and I had nothing negative to say about her.
"Well," She kissed me again and we pulled apart she said, "Whatever has gotten into you…I like it."
I kissed her again and as things were getting heated she pulled away, "Oh come on, don't do this to me now. You know I got to work." She groaned, left me on the couch and walked to our shared room.
"Go to work now?" I asked confused, and looked at the clock. It was late at night.
"Yeah, I told you, I've got the night shifts on Thursday."
You work night shifts at the uh…" I walked to our room and stood between the door way. Carmen was taking out scrubs from the closet, "At the hospital." I thought to myself aloud, "Im dating a nurse. That is so…respectable."
Later that night when she left, I was back on the couch watching the news since nothing else was on. I propped my feet on the coffee table and took another swig of my beer.
On the bottom of the screen was the headline: Anniversary of the Crash of United Britannia Flight 424. This got my attention as I sat up straighter and landed my feet on the ground.
"Indianapolis residents held a candlelight vigil in memory of the hundred people who lost their lives..." The reported continued. The screen showed lit candles and pictures of people who had passed away in the flight.
"No, no, no, I stopped that crash." I mumbled to myself and turned the volume up.
I turned the Tv off and raced to a lap top and instantly looked up the flight and other headlines to the cases I had solved. Every case that we solved, hadn't been figured, leading to horrible tragedies. I grabbed my coat and drove to Dad's grave site.
"All of them. Everyone that you saved, everyone Sammy, Maddie, and I saved. They're all dead. And there's this woman that's haunting me. I don't know why. I don't know what the connection is, not yet anyway. It's like my old life is coming after me or something. Like it like it doesn't want me to be happy. Course I know what you'd say. Well, not the you that played softball but... 'So go hunt the Djinn. He put you here, it can put you back. Your happiness for all those people's lives, no contest.' Right? But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero?" I said to the tombstone. My eyes began to water as I became so frustrated with everything. "What about us, huh? Mom's not supposed to live her life. Sammy's not supposed to get married. Maddie's not supposed to have a baby. Why do we have to sacrifice everything, dad?" There was a pause as I tried to recollect my thought "It's…" There was a large rumble of a thunder and I looked down with a sigh, "Yeah…"
I did more and more research late in the night. Found out that the only way to kill a Djinn is silver dipped in Lamb's blood. The only place I knew I could get silver fast enough was Mom's china cabinet I noticed earlier.
I picked the lock to the front door and led myself into the dark interior of the house. I opened up the drawer that revealed the silver knives. I was interrupted when I felt someone behind me.
Sam held up a bat ready to swing. I counter attacked, throwing him to the floor where he struggled. I heard a loud gasp from behind us, and the light was flicked on. Maddie stood there with a hand over her mouth. Sam looked up at me with wide eyes, "Dean!?"
"That was so easy, I'm embarrassed for you," I breathed.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
I stood back up and gave Sam a helping hand. "I was looking for a beer," I lied.
Maddie narrowed her eyes, "In the China cabinet?"
Sam looked down to the open drawer and looked at me stunned, "That's mom's silver!"
"Sam," I sighed, nothing was going to have him listen to me and try to understand. And if I were to tell the truth he would think that I'm a whole bunch of crazy than he already did.
"What…you broke into the house…to steal mom's silver?"
"It's not what it looks like, OK? I have no choice," I defended.
"Oh really? Why? What's so damn important you gotta steal from your own mother?" I looked to Maddie, hoping that she would at least defend me somehow. Her facial expression showed she was disappointed in me and on Sam's side.
I sighed, "You want the truth?"
"Yeah, yeah I do."
"I owe somebody money," I shrugged with a lie.
"Who?" Maddie asked.
"A bookie. I lost big on a game, and I gotta bring him the cash tonight."
"I cant believe we're even related," Sam shook his head and looked away. Maddie rolled her eyes at him.
"Sam, I'm so sorry," I pleaded.
"Yeah," He said quietly.
I hated how we were. I hated how he hated who I was. This isn't the Sammy I knew. Maddie was right. If we weren't perfect like him, he didn't like you. And in any other given circumstance, Maddie would be yelling at me right now, insulting me, throwing things- not just standing there looking sorry for me.
"I'm sorry we don't get along. And I wish to hell I could stay and fix it. But I gotta do this. People's lives depend on it." I turned around and stole a knife out of it's placement.
"What are you talking about, Dean?" Maddie asked with a soft tone in her voice. Sam looked back at me worriedly.
"Nothing, Forget it," I waved him off and started walking out the door, "Just uh, Tell mom that I love her."
"Dean," Sam tried to stop me.
"I'll see you, Sammy."
I sat in the front seat of the Impala, taking time to think a little bit. I knew I was doing the right thing, no matter how much I wish I wasn't. But I know the life I'm living is too good to be true, and I know this is what dad would have wanted. The Djinn is still out there, and I felt like it was my responsibility to stop it.
The car doors opened and Sam hopped in the front seat, and Maddie sat in the back middle seat. "Get out of the car" I told him sternly.
"We're going with you," Sam argued, still not looking at me.
"You're just going to slow me down."
"Tough," He said sarcastically but his voice showed no emotion.
I looked at Maddie through the rearview mirror. She had a face of determination on her face, showing she wasn't leaving either.
"This is dangerous and you could get hurt," I glanced back at the both of them.
"Yeah, and so could you, Dean."
"Sam!"
"Look, whatever stupid thing you're about to do, you're not doing alone, okay? That's that."
"Why are you doing this?" I asked quietly.
"Cause you're still my brother," Sam finally looked at me, "And I would do the same thing for Madison if it were the other way around."
"Bitch," I mumble not taking my eyes off of him.
He looked at me insulted and confused. Maddie giggled in the back, "What are you calling me a bitch for?"
"You're supposed to say Jerk," I said.
"What?"
"And then she says…never mind," I sighed and put the car in drive and sped off.
"What's in the bag?" Sam asked motioning towards the bag that sat between us. We were hours into the drive and I'm surprised he hadn't asked about it earlier.
"Nothing," I blew him off.
"Nothing?" He repeated, not taking that as an answer.
"Yeah, nothing," I said back, knowing he would freak out if I told him what was actually in it. Maddie, now enhanced in the conversation, looked over the seat at the bag.
"Fine," Sam grabbed the bag and began to open that. I knew that one was coming.
"You don't want to do that," I said, not bothering to stop him.
"Oh really?" Sam challenged and pulled out the jar of Lamb's blood.
"What the hell is that?" Maddie asked, horrified.
"Blood," I said bluntly.
"Yeah, I can see it's blood, Dean. What the hell is it doing in there?!"
"You don't really wanna know," I shook my head making a right turn at the light.
"Yeah—yeah, I really wanna know. I really, really, do," Sam argued and looked at me with a stunned expression.
I sighed, "Yeah well you're going to find out sooner or later. I needed a silver knife dipped in lamb's blood."
"You needed a sliver knife dipped in lambs blood," Sam repeated shaking his head like he couldn't believe this was happening.
"Why?" Maddie asked, suddenly tense and nervous.
"Because there's this creature—a Djinn, and I have to hunt it."
"Ok…Um stop the car." Sam said.
"I know how it sounds," I sighed, knowing what he was thinking. It was what everyone thought when we told them what we did, but Sam was never on the other end of it.
"Great…Just stop the car."
"It's the truth, Sam. Alright, there are things out there in the dark. There – there – there are bad things. There are nightmare things. And people have to be saved and if we don't save them, then nobody will."
"Look, I wanna help you, alright. I-I really really do, but you're having some kind of psychotic breakdown so... just –"
"I wish," I groaned and rubbed my hand over my face.
Sam grabbed his phone out of his pocket and started dialing a number. I was having none of it. I rolled down my window, grabbed his phone from his hand, and threw it out the window.
"What the hell was that, Dean?! That was my phone!" Sam yelled angrily. Maddie's mouth was opened in shock.
"I'm not going to a rubber room, and we've got work to do."
"What? I was just trying to help you out, Dean. I don't want you to get yourself hurt."
"What? You protect me?"
"Yeah!"
"That's hilarious. Why don't you just sit tight and try not to get us all killed," I said sternly. Sam shut up, and I blasted the radio, hoping it would make time fly by faster.
I pulled up to the same factory I went to before I was zapped here in a different reality. I looked over my shoulder to see Maddie and Sam fast asleep. I grabbed my flashlight and shined it into Sam's closed eyes, and then Maddie's. They jumped awake and looked around groggily.
"Where are we?" Sam mumbled.
"Well, we're not in Kansas anymore," I smiled over to Sam. When I got no smile back, I frowned and answered, "Illinois."
"And you think something is in there?" Maddie looked at the factory nervously out the back window.
"I know it is."
/
We walked quietly in the old factory, flashlight in my hands and we continued down a narrow hallway. Maddie flinched whenever there was a creek or blow of wind—always tugging on Sam's jacket as if something was going to pop out. Sam looked around frantically, still not understanding why we were here, and just wanting to get the hell out of here.
"See? There is nothing here, Dean." Sam begged me to listen but I continued on.
We turned into the hallway that was all too familiar. It was the same hallway I got attacked in—the same places where the stupid Djinn had zapped me. They followed closely behind me.
"Look, Dean, Carmen's got to be worried sick about you, Dean. Come on let—let's go!"
"Shhhhh," I hissed at Sam and walked further. The last thing I needed was for him to blow our cover and get us caught and killed.
We halted to a stop, when we heard a noise coming from the right. Sam stopped and finally looked like he was taking this seriously, thank god. Maddie's eyes grew huge and glossy.
"What the hell is that?" She hissed, moving her head around frantically.
"Shut your mouth and stay behind me," I demanded.
We approached another opened room, filled with bodies hanging from the ceiling by their wrists with some chains. The bodies looked worn down, and skinny. Their hair was all tangled and their skin was grey. Next to one of the bodies was a drained blood bag.
"What the hell?" Sam mumbled to himself, looking at all the bodies with pure disgust, as if he had never seen a dead body before.
I looked further to the right and noticed a girl hanging by her wrists like the rest. She was the same girl I had seen on the streets and in the restaurant. I walked over to her, Sam and Maddie right behind me, and saw the blood bag hanging by her head too. But hers was filled and not emptied. Her eyes were open and she looked dead.
"It's her," I whisper to myself.
"Dean, what's going on?" Sam asked.
I saw the Djinn and grabbed Sam's wrists and shushed him again. I pulled them aside and hid them behind a fenced wall.
The same woman was now awake, sobbing as she saw the creature walks towards her. "Where's my dad? I wonder how…" She looked at the Djinn terrified as it walked closer, "Don't…" She pleaded. She tried moving further away from him, but her restraints didn't allow her to. "Where's my dad?" She cried.
The Djinn touched her face and said, "Sleep," Really creepily. Blue flares flew out of his hand as he touched her cheek. The same blue flares I saw when I woke up in this world. The girl's eyes shined bright blue. "Sleep," He repeated. Her head dropped as she blacked out again, her eyes were still open, and her feet relax again as they fall forward.
The Djinn rests his face against the arm as he breathes in her scent. When he pulls away, he takes her blood bag and pokes a hole through it with a straw where he merrily drinks her blood.
Sam having watched the whole thing, let out a disgusted cough. I grabbed their wrists for them to duck again when the Djinn snapped his head in our direction, his eyes a vibrant blue. I had them craw behind the staircase as we watched the thing go to our previous hiding place.
The Djinn gave up looking for us and walked up the stairs we were hiding under. When we hear the door close, Sam began breathing loudly. Maddie had two hands covering her mouth as she panted, tears running down her face.
"This is real? You're not crazy?!" Sam breathed.
"She didn't know where she was, she thought she was with her father," I murmured to myself. The pieces were finally coming together. I knew this place was too good to actually be true.
We walked back to the woman again and I took in her appearance one more time. "What if that's what the Djinn does? It doesn't grant you a wish, it just makes you think it has."
"Look, man the thing could come back again," Sam pointed, wanting to get the hell out of here before he shit his pants. To my surprise, he was actually holding Maddie under his arms as she shook in fear.
I walked past Sam in the opposite direction of the woman. I looked up at the light bulb and it started flickering a brighter light. All of a sudden, I start getting flashes of me hanging and looking like the woman in front of me. I my heart paces faster, as I start to realize what is going on.
"Dean, please," Sam pleaded, motioning to our sister.
"What if I'm like her?" I breathed heavily, "What if I'm tied up here someplace? What if all of this is in my head?" I walked over to the woman and looked into her dead eyes, "I mean it could, you know, maybe it gives us some kind of supernatural acid, and then just feeds on us slow."
"No. Dean, that doesn't make any sense, OK?"
"What if that's why she keeps appearing to me? She's not a spirit. It's - it's like more and more like I'm catching flashes of reality. You know, like I'm in here somewhere. I'm - I'm catatonic, and I'm taking all this stuff in but I, but I can't snap out of it." I continued.
"Yeah, OK, look. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. I was wrong. You're not crazy but we – we – we need to get out of here. Fast." Sam starts to pull on my arm but I tugged it free.
"I don't think you're real," I muttered and looked to my brother and sister.
Sam breathed in an agitated breath and grabbed me by the arms, "Dude, do you feel that? That's real! I'm real. This is not some acid trip. I'm real and that thing is gonna come down here and kill us for real. Now, please."
"There is only one way to be sure," I pulled out the silver knife and eyed it carefully.
"Dean, what are you doing?" Maddie sniffed looking at me with her big eyes.
Sam backed off and held up his hands, "woah, woah, woah, what are you doing?"
"It's an old Wive's tale. They say if you're about to die in a dream, you wake up."
"No, no, no, no, no, no, that's crazy. Alright?" Sam begged.
"Maybe," I said determinedly.
"You're gonna kill yourself—" I held up my hand to stop Maddie from talking. She looked at me sadly.
"Or I'm going to wake up. One or the other."
"OK. This isn't a dream, alright. I'm here and she's here, with you, now. And you're about to kill yourself, Dean." Sam said.
"No I'm pretty sure—like 90% sure," I shook my head. I shouldn't be thinking of math right now, "That's sure enough."
I turned the knife around and held it with both hands. I pulled it forward, ready to thrust it into me but Sam's loud, "WAIT," stopped me.
I looked up and saw Mom walking towards me in the same night gown she died in. Behind Sam was Carmen, and next to him was Jess. Maddie now was holding Emily and was looking at me with a small grin.
"Why do you have to keep digging?" Sam asked with a shrug of his shoulders, "why couldn't you have left well enough alone?"
"You were happy," Maddie said as she held Emily on her hip, "And Emily loved you."
Mom walked in front of me. I looked at her face sadly. She gave me a sad smile and caressed my face in her hand. "Put the knife down, honey."
I shook my head, tears in my eyes, "You're not real. None of it is."
"It doesn't matter. It's still better than anything you have ever had."
"What?" I asked confused.
"It's everything you want. We're a family again. Let's go home."
I shook my head again, "I'll die." My voice broke, "The Djinn…It'll drain the life out of me in a couple days."
"But here with us, it'll feel like years. Like a lifetime," Mom said softly. I looked over to my siblings. Both of there lips were pulled into a half grin. "I promise," Mom held my chin so I was looking at her, "No more pain or fear. Just love and comfort. And safety. Dean, stay with us." I leaned into her hand, eyes close. This was the hardest thing for me to ever do. "Get some rest."
"You don't have to worry about Sam anymore," Jess spoke up. I looked over at her, "You get to watch him live a full life."
Carmen stepped forward and kissed me gently, "We can have a future together, and have our own family. I love you, Dean. Please."
Sam stood next to me with his arm around Maddie, "Why is it our job to save every body? Havent we done enough?"
"Dean, I'm begging you," Maddie frowned as she stared down at the silver knife, "Give us the knife."
I looked at everyone with tears running down my face. I shook my head and looked back to my brother and sister and whispered, "I'm sorry."
I stabbed myself in the stomach and blood instantly pours out of my mouth. "Dean! Dean! Dean!" I heard them call but I was too weak to open my eyes.
/
I felt my arms held above me, chains on my wrists. "Oh god, come on," Sam was shaking me, "Hey wake up. Wake up, dammit." I let out a grunt as my eyes focused on Sam and Maddie, "Hey, hey"
"Ah…Auntie Em, there is no place like home." I smiled, realizing I was back in the real world again.
"Thank god," I heard Maddie sigh in relief, "We thought we lost you there for a second."
Sam pulled the tube out of my throat, "You almost did," I said feeling weaker than ever.
"Oh god," Sam breathed heavily, "Lets get you down from here."
Sam reached up and started cutting the chains that held me up. I grunted in pain as I started to move. Maddie held my face making sure I was okay. I saw two firey blue eyes behind Sam's head. The Djinn—and it looked mad. "Sam!"
Sam turned to get the Djinn but it was too quick. The Djinn grabs Sam by the throat and knocks his knife out of his hand. The Djinn holds him against the wall, and starts to put his hand to his forehead. I struggled to get out of the ropes Sam had tried to cut. Maddie picked up the knife and thrusts the knife into the back of it's back.
The Djinn turns to look at her slowly. The blue color had left it's eyes and falls to the ground. Sam breathed in deeply, trying to regain his strength from just being strangled and by the look of Maddie's face, I did not look too good.
I walked over to the familiar girl and stared at her. I saw a single tear run down her cheek. I put my hand to her neck to feel for a pulse. It was there—it was very weak—but it was there.
"She's alive," I looked over to Maddie who was still holding the knife, "Maddie," I motioned for her to cut her down. She was too tiny to do it so she handed the knife over to Sam, who cut her down.
I pulled out the tube from her neck as Sam started cutting her down. When she was let loose, I caught her in my arms, "I gotcha, I gotcha," I whispered in the poor girl's ear. I ignored Sam and Maddie's stares, "We're gonna get you outta here, okay? I gotcha." She made small wheezing noises, "I got you."
We dropped her off at the hospital and left before they could ask us questions. However, we gave them our number so they could call and let us know how she was doing. Back on the motel room, I sat on the bed fumbling with my hands, while Sam took a phone call outside and Maddie stared at me across the room.
"Uh, OK, thank you so much for the update. Bye." Sam hung up and tossed the phone in his bag, "That was the hospital. Girl's been stabilized. There is a good chance she'll pull through."
"That's good," I said.
"What about you? Are you alright?" Maddie asked.
I cleared my throat, "Yeah, I'm alright." There was a pause as I thought back to the other life, "You guys should have seen it. You two were such wussies."
Sam smiled, "We didn't get along then, huh?"
I shook my head, "No, but we weren't as bad as you and Maddie were. She had a baby at this age, and you never forgave her for it."
"And you did?" Sam raised his eyebrows with an amused smile.
"I guess. The baby loved me." I smirked.
Sam shook his head, "Yeah, I thought it was supposed to be this perfect fantasy."
"It wasn't," I said, "It was just wish. You know, I wish that mom never died, we never went hunting, and us three just…you know."
"Yeah. Well, I'm glad we do. And I'm glad you dug yourself out, Dean. Most people wouldn't have the strength, would have just stayed."
"Yeah... Lucky me. I gotta tell you though, man. You know, you had Jess. Mom was gonna have grandkids..." I glanced at Maddie who looked at me with raised eyebrows, "You know, from a married couple."
"Yeah, but Dean….wasn't real."
"I know. But I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay so bad. I mean, ever since Dad... all I can think about is how much this job's cost us. We've lost so much. We've... sacrificed so much." I admitted.
"But people are alive because of you. It's worth it, Dean. It is. It's not fair, and... you know, it hurts like hell, but... it's worth it." Maddie said soothingly.
I repeated her words over and over in my head. She was right, and although it was hard to find the positive in our lives, we always had that to look on. I looked down at my hands. I really was grateful for Sam and Maddie. I don't know what I would do if one of them was gone from my life. The other life, just wasn't us. And even though I loved it, I think the thrill of my actual life was more for me than a civilian lifestyle. It was just hard to admit sometimes.