Chapter 26

Louise stared at the cup of steaming coffee before her as she stirred it over and over again, making no attempt to drink it. Her frayed nerves kept her on tenterhooks all day long and since she had learned Kid was coming, she hadn't had a minute of peace. Her moments of joy mingled with those of anguish and apprehension. At night she didn't find it easy to fall asleep as her worries kept bugging and torturing her. Just thinking about having to tell Kid about Charlie left her trembling from head to foot. Every day she mentally rehearsed what she could tell him, but then her own mind started hurling questions to herself, questions that she found too weak answers to, and she felt she was at the losing end in this battle.

"Something wrong, Lou?" she heard Rachel ask by her side. Louise lifted her eyes to her friend and tried to smile.

"No, of course not," Louise replied promptly and she took the teaspoon out of the cup, letting it rest on the saucer.

"You must be so looking forward to seeing Kid," Rachel added with a smile. "I can't believe he's coming in two days."

"Yes," Louise muttered. "but I'm very nervous… scared, actually."

"I can understand why you're nervous," a voice resounded behind them and they turned to find Paul leaning against the door frame. When he had the women's attention, he stepped inside and stood hovering over them. "Tell us, Louise, what are you afraid of? Are you afraid that Kid will find out you're not the person he thinks you are? Do you fear he can smell treason in your breath?"

"Paul please," Rachel tried to mediate.

Lou was taken aback by Paul's bitter and scornful tone, and his cold words. It surprised her since he had always treated her with respect and affability when others had despised her. "What are you talking about?"

"We saw you," he replied, pointing his finger at her. "Rachel and I were riding and we saw you in very good company there in the woods."

Lou glanced at Rachel, who looked very uncomfortable. The station mistress had tried to soothe Paul when he had caught a glimpse of Lou with Charlie a few days ago. Paul didn't know who Charlie was or had the chance to see the man's face, but the way Lou and Charlie had been sitting together had made him believe the worst. Rachel knew that there was a reason why Lou had been with Charlie, and in a way it was logical the young man wanted to see his daughter. Of course Paul didn't know any of this but she didn't think it was her place to tell him. Besides, she wasn't sure whether Paul knowing that the man he had seen Lou with was Alice's father was a good idea in the mood he was lately. What Rachel now regretted was not warning Lou beforehand before Paul lunged to her like a bull to a red rag.

"That… that isn't what you think," Lou replied to Paul's accusation awkwardly.

"Really? As far as I saw, you two looked very cozy together. And where I come from, married women don't go frolicking with other men when their husbands are away."

"I wasn't frolicking!" Lou retorted angrily. "You're making a mistake."

"I really thought I liked you, Louise," Paul continued his harangue. "I never minded all those tales people told about you, but they must be true after all. I don't appreciate anybody hurting Kid and I'm not gonna allow you to do so. Don't expect me to keep quiet about this and as soon as Kid gets back, I'll tell him what kind of pastimes his wife entertained herself with in his absence!"

"But Paul…" Lou couldn't finish the sentence since the man walked away, not giving her the chance to explain herself. As the kitchen door slammed closed, Louise turned her anguished eyes to Rachel.

"Sorry I didn't tell you. I thought I could appease him without worrying you," the blonde woman said. "He was fuming when he saw you and Charlie. I've tried my best with Paul and I thought I had made him forget about the matter, but apparently I didn't do a very good job."

"I haven't done anything wrong," Lou added urgently. "Charlie showed up and wanted to be with Alice… and I don't know why I agreed. I'm not interested in him at all… at all."

"I know, honey," Rachel replied, covering her hand with her own.

"It's going to be beyond difficult to tell Kid about Charlie, and I'm already afraid of his reaction," Lou confessed. "But if others start telling him tales about me and him, I might end up losing my husband."

"Lou, Kid won't believe anybody but you."

"Will he?" Louise asked with a skeptical expression. "I have a long history behind me. I showed my husband too many times that I am capable of resorting to lies to save my skin. Who do you think he's gonna believe? His loyal friend Paul or me?"

Rachel had to admit that Lou had a point in what she was saying, and there was only one thing she could do. "I'll talk to Paul again, all right?"

Louise nodded, but somehow she knew Rachel wouldn't have much luck with Paul. She had seen how Paul looked after Kid's interest in all senses. He was like a brother to her husband and Lou knew that whatever enticing words Rachel used, nothing would budge Paul. He was an honest gentleman, a man of word, and she had now lost his trust. She knew Paul was right. A married woman shouldn't be seen in other men's company regardless whether her intentions were wholesome. And now what was Kid going to say? And more importantly, what was he going to do when he learned Paul's version of the facts? Lou didn't even want to imagine; she didn't want to know; she didn't want to go through all this. She wasn't strong enough.

"And they lived happily ever after," Joseph read aloud in the quiet of his bedroom and then closed the book his Grandpa Teaspoon had given him a few days ago. He loved reading, and Aunt Rachel called him her little bookworm. She always praised him and said he was the best reader at school, even outdoing her older pupils.

Joseph rose to his feet and placed his book on a small shelf in his bedroom. He stood still in the middle of the bedroom for a few minutes. He was bored and missed his father. He always told him stories about the time he was a Pony Express rider or when he was a captain in the war. Thankfully, Pa was coming soon and they'd shared those special moments again. His stomach rumbled. He was feeling hungry and wished he could have his dinner already. Maybe Mama could let him have something before dinnertime, so he went in search of her. The door to his mother's bedroom was ajar and he pushed it open with his index finger. From the threshold the boy frowned when he saw his mother grabbing clothes from the opened drawers and the wardrobe, folding them and shoving them in a carpet bag. Joseph watched Louise for a few minutes and then he called, "Ma?"

Louise stopped her hectic packing, noticing her son for the first time. "Hey, Joseph," she said with a smile.

"Ma, what are you doing?" the boy asked.

Louise crossed the room and closed the door. Wordlessly, she took Joseph by the hand and steered him to the bed. They sat and Louise stroked her son's hand as she started, "Joseph, I need to tell you something… about me, pa… about us."

"Yes, Ma."

Louise breathed in deeply and looked at her son in the eyes intently. "Listen to me, honey. You're a big boy and I know you can understand a grown-up thing I'm going to tell you."

"Yes, Ma," the boy replied, proud at her mother's words, and kept quiet, listening carefully to whatever her Ma wanted to tell him.

The night had fallen and the big moon in the sky left the earth below in a succession of light and shadows. In her kitchen Jenny scrubbed the pots and pans in her sink that she had left soaking after both lunch and dinner. With the new baby and a restless six-year-old, she had no time to see to all her chores, and she sometimes ended up with a huge pile of clothes to wash and iron, and plates and pots to clean. Thankfully, Lou and Rachel gave her a hand in the house when they could, but they couldn't help her as much as they wanted since they also had obligations.

As she rubbed the scourer energetically on the skillet, Jenny casually cast a look through the window and outside a moving shadow caught her attention. She stopped her motions briefly and stared at the yard, trying to make out what she had seemed to catch sight of. Jennifer frowned in confusion as she saw one of the wagons in the middle of the yard, hitched and ready to go. "What on earth?" she exclaimed to herself as she noticed Lou on the wagon seat, dressed as if she was about to start a long trip.

Fearing that her friend was going to do something stupid, Jenny left the washing up and while drying her hands on her apron, she ran to the door. "Lou!" she called loudly in the silent yard, but Lou had already urged the horse and was driving away, a cloud of dust rising behind it. "Lou!" Jenny called after her, but it was useless.

Without thinking about it twice, Jenny ran across the yard to Rachel's house. "Rachel! Rachel! Open up!" Jenny called as she knocked at the door repeatedly. Seconds later she heard the lock being unbolted and Rachel appeared before her.

"Jenny, what's all this ruckus?"

"I just saw Lou… she's gone. She drove away on the wagon."

Rachel's face remained expressionless and in cold indifference. "Yes, I know."

"But… has she gone crazy? Kid and Buck are coming tomorrow or the following day at the latest. What are we gonna tell Kid?"

"Nothing. He's not a fool and knows what all this means."

Jenny stared at Rachel in confusion and when her friend's face lit up with a smile, she wondered whether everybody had lost their heads today, because she really didn't understand anything.