You Must Return to Me

Author: LexysCPD
Words: 1,419
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Author's Note: And I got 75 favorites, 179 follows, and 271 reviews. Thanks to those who reviewed; CaseyJr, Smileyface2508, GRemy, MDCrime, BLindsay23, BASVamp.

This chapter is going to be dark. Darkest one I've written for this fandom. It was kind of my favorite to write. Enjoy.

So the title came from Return to Me by Matthew Ryans.

Uploaded: November 10, 2014

Erin looked at the bloody wrist. She made many cuts since the first time. She didn't want a repeat of the first time. Voight found her, and she didn't want that. She wanted to be dead when she was found. She thought of the fastest way to end it. She sat up when she thought of it. A sad smile appeared on her face, as she wiped the blood from her arms.

Chicago PD

Halstead knocked once. He tried again when he got no answer. He tried to turn the knob, worried and scared, but it was locked. He was about to kick the door down when it opened.

"Wha'r ya doin' h're?" Erin slurred, as she used the door for support.

Jay frowned. He could smell the alcohol, it had hit him hard when she opened the door. "I was, um, I was worried. I thought I should to check on you. Are you drunk?"

Erin glared at him. "'m fine."

"Erin, you can't be doing this."

"Wha' does et matt'r?" she asked, her voice filled with anger.

"Because I care! We all do!"

He's lying. No one cares. You're better off dead.

"F-fuck off Jay."

"Erin, please talk to us."

"Wha's th're ta talk 'bout?" she asked, genuinely confused.

"You're hurting yourself. By doing this. I know Erin. I know about Ethan. I know he was your brother. I know he killed your mother. I know he made you choose between him and Voight. I know you feel guilt. And that's okay. It's okay to feel bad. What's not okay is you pushing people away. You need to let us help you. You need to let us in. Erin, please."

"Leave me alone," she demanded.

Halstead shook his head. "I can't do that."

"You want me to let you in?" Erin asked, sobering up enough to sound coherent. There was still a drunken slur in her speech. She continued when she saw Halstead nod, "I hate being your partner. You annoy me so much. You're a horrible partner and you make me want to quit. Is that letting you in? You know what? I don't care. Leave me the fuck alone." Erin slammed the door shut.

Halstead stood there, frozen. He knew it wasn't Erin speaking to him, but he couldn't help but feel hurt by her words. He walked to his car, sending Voight a message that it was bad. Worse than her father's death, and maybe than her teenage depression.

But back in the apartment, Erin was crying. She couldn't believe what she had said, she didn't mean anything, but her anger took over. She rushed to the kitchen and grabbed the last bottle of liquor in the house. She needed it after what she did. She quickly took a pill as well.

Within seconds, the voices were back, but even worse. Feeding off her guilt.

Chicago PD

Dawson decided to try. He didn't want her to be alone. To feel the pain and be drunk by herself. He wanted her to have someone to talks to. He knocked on the door.

"Wha now?" he heard as the door opened. His eyes widened as he looked at her appearance. Her hair was a total mess and had no shine. Her eyes were red and had circles under them. Her skin was pale. She sounded and looked drunk.

"You need to talk to someone," Dawson told her, as he entered he'd apartment.

"Not you too. 'm fine," Erin told him, annoyed.

"You're drunk. And I can see the pills. You're not fine."

"Wha's your problem?" she snapped, glared at him.

"You! Screwing up your life!" Dawson shouted, trying to get though to her.

"You don't get it! You don't feel what I do. You don't know anything! Stop acting like you do!" Erin shouted back, anger in her voice.

"Help me understand," Dawson whispered, his eyes filling with tears. It hurt him to see her like that.

"I-I can't," she told him, sounding defeated.

"You can't give up," Dawson told her.

Erin looked at him. "What if I already did?" She rushed to her room and locked the door.

Dawson ran after her. He hit the door, but he couldn't open it. He moved back and called the one person who could help her. He just hoped it wouldn't be too late.

Chicago PD

Voight rushed to Erin's apartment. He didn't care about this wound. The only thing he cared about was Erin's safely. And Dawson's call had worried him.

He stormed into the apartment. He told Dawson to call his sister and her partner. They were the only people he trusted with Erin, and the only ones, with the exception of his squad, Atwaters, and Burgess to know about what was happening.

He used his spare key to get into the bedroom. He froze. Dawson froze behind him.

Erin was on her bed. The alcohol bottle, empty, in front of her. She was crying. In her hand, was her gun. The barrel aligned with her temple.

"Erin," he whispered, as he took a step forward. He had tears in his eyes as he stared at his daughter with a gun to her head.

Erin looked up in surprise. "S-stop."

Voight shook his head. "Erin, put the gun down, please."

"I-I need to do this, Hank. This is my punishment," she whispered, as she looked up at him, making eye contact.

"You don't need to do this Erin. You don't have to be punished," Hank said. He took a step towards her.

"Stop!" Voight could see her finger tremble over the trigger. Voight stopped and put his hands up. "This is all my fault! Three people are dead because of me! I don't have a family because of me!"

"You have me Erin. You have Antonio, Jay, the team." Voight looked back and saw Shay and Gabby Dawson. Both seemed ready to cry.

Erin shook her head. "Not Jay. I lost him."

"Erin, don't do this. You don't have to do this. Let me help you."

"It's too late Hank," she said in a tired voice.

"It's not too late!"

Erin nodded, slowly. "You can't save me."

"I can try."

Erin let out a sob. She pressed the barrel of the gun to her head.

"Erin, your mother wouldn't want this for you."

Erin blinked a few times. She turned her head and looked at the gun. She let her hand fall to the bed. She looked at Voight, lost.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her body shaking as she started to cry again.

Voight rushed to the bed and took her into his arms. She pressed her face against his chest. He stroked her hair. She kept apologizing.

"We're going to get you help, okay?" He whispered into her ear.

He felt Erin nod. He looked up and saw the Dawson siblings holding each other. Shay was holding Gabby's hand.

Voight panicked when he felt Erin to limb in his arms.

Shay and Gabby rushed to her. Shay found the cuts. Voight looked away, not wanting anyone to see his tears.

Leslie Shay never expected to see that. In the last there couple of weeks, she had seen many deaths in the Lindsay family. And she hoped she wouldn't have to see more. But now she knew the Lindsay line was over. Erin was not a Lindsay. She was a Voight. And Voights were strong. They were survivors.

Chicago PD

Erin was with Voight. They were out, grocery shopping. Erin had been with the Voight family for a yeah, and loved it.

Erin was in charge of the junk food. She grabbed the cookies she knew everyone would enjoy. When she got back, she found Hank talking to someone, a lady.

"Who is this?" The lady asked, when Erin placed the cookies in the cart. The lady smiled at her.

"The newest member in our family," he said, but was cut off by Erin.

"Gee, thanks for making feel special. That sounded like you adopted a pet," she said, a teasing smile on her face.

Voight laughed and shook his head.

"Erin, this is Meredith Olinsky, a family friend."

Erin smiled and shook the woman's hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Olinsky. I'm Erin," she started. She looked at Hank, and saw a smile on his face. "Erin Voight."

"I hope Hank is treating you well, Erin Voight."

Erin grinned. "Dad is great," she said, feeling like a Voight for the first time ever.

Next Chapter:
So Maybe Tomorrow I'll Find My Way Back Home

This could have been a good place to end the story for me, but I didn't end it here. there are still like seven more chapters. Hope you guys don't want to hurt me for hurting Erin. I don't know, I loved this chapter. Specially the gun scene with Voight. I wanted more Daddy!Voight scenes. And I got one. Don't worry, Linstead will happen, you just have to wait.