It's Galavant,Charlie Brown
Chapter 26: The Fancy Life
After Galavant successfully managed to get at least one person brave enough to join his cause with that being Roberta,he and his now increased gang of travelers managed to make their way through the countryside without any major hurdles or problems. In fact the long journey did a good enough job of giving Roberta a chance to get to know Snoopy and Woodstock better,and overtime she really started to warm up to them although she did find them very annoying at times like Galavant did. However their mostly pleasant travels still didn't change the fact that they needed an army,and Galavant was fully determined to find one as they were now at what seemed to be a camp of bandits and Gal,Richard,Snoopy and Woodstock were trying to negotiate a deal with the leader inside the hut,while Roberta would take watch outside.
Galavant wasted no time and immediately tried to get their attention "Let's cut to the chase,if you help me save my love and my friends,you'll be celebrated in song for a hundred years,and that's a promise from Galavant,the most beloved warrior in the five kingdoms and Knight Beat Magazine's Swordsman Of The Year….three times running." before Richard nonchalantly pointed at the knight as a way to tell them that they meant business as Snoopy took a sip of root beer and added "The man's right you know? The songs people write of him are to die for especially his trademark theme song,once you hear them you can never get them to leave." to which Woodstock added lastly "So what do you say you guys? You got the deal of a lifetime here."
The leader of the bandits sat there in silence for a few moments as he was clearly thinking the situation over until he eventually spit out the chicken he was eating and groggily replied "Yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah you've already given us your resume,so….what's in this deal for us? Really?" to the surprise of the others.
Before Galavant or the animals could try and add some extra layer or offer to the deal,Richard suddenly perked up and politely made an offer of his own "Perhaps I have something that might help." before he reached into his jacket and pulled out a very familiar and unexpected sight,for it was none other than
"The Jewel Of Valencia!" Richard smugly exclaimed before he slammed the jewel onto the table and continued "Boom!" much to the shock of the others. Snoopy and Woodstock's eyes widened out of sheer surprise as the dog soon started to smile before he picked up the jewel and asked out of bewilderment "Richard when did you get this? This plot-device was dead and buried in the water." to which Galavant added equally as confused "Yeah where did you get that?"
Richard kindly relieved Snoopy of the priceless jewel as he smugly explained himself "I smuggled it out when we escaped the kingdom." before Galavant asked even further "But how we didn't have anything with us?" to which Woodstock added as he flew up on Richard's shoulder "Yeah Gareth took all our stuff before we headed to the beach."
"I swallowed it." Richard nonchalantly explained as the entire hut was now left in complete silence and shock due to the fact that Richard managed to swallow such a huge jewel as Snoopy closed his dropped jaw and remarked "And I thought I could eat anything." to which Galavant retorted out of skepticism of Richard's claim "It's huge." before the man continued much more bewildered himself "Believe me I know I had to slather it with bacon grease to choke it down."
Snoopy and Woodstock both gagged at the thought of such an action while Galavant merely replied out of disbelief "Richard that's insane." before Richard disagreed and retorted "No what's insane is when it came out. Do y'all remember that day on the ship when I was screaming for hours? Well now I know what my mother was always complaining about."
"Wait…..are you saying you?" Woodstock slowly asked when he thought what Richard meant by that before Snoopy quickly realized what the man was referring to and exclaimed in disgust "Bleahhhh!" as he wiped his hand on his body to get rid of any….germs to which Galavant jokingly retorted "Well you sure are a trooper then."
"Enough!" The leader of the bandits interrupted their conversation so he wouldn't have to hear any more of Richard's story before he continued much calmer "We have a deal...I mean rinse it off one more time….and we have a deal." to which Snoopy jokingly added "And get that thing dry cleaned too."
"Yeah of course….but otherwise you got yourselves a deal." The bandit leader chuckled and replied as Galavant and his group gave deep sighs of relief and each other high fives,they officially had an army to help them overthrow Hortensia. However this time for celebration would be cut off when Richard suddenly chuckled and gratefully replied "Excellent,uh can I just say,it is so nice to negotiate with men of honor. I mean,you outnumber us 10 to 1 you could've just as easily murdered us and kept the jewel for yourself but you sir….are a class act."
It was then and there that the leader of the bandits started to get a look of intrigue on his face as Richard frankly didn't realize what he had just done,Galavant got a very nervous look on his face along with Woodstock while Snoopy merely facepalmed and remarked "I can see this going bad in 3,2-"
"1!" Snoopy yelled in utter fear as he and the others quickly ran and in Woodstock's case flew out of the tent and for their lives while the bandits chased after them relentlessly,for Richard had just accidentally caused the bandits to turn on them due to his stupidity as Galavant in a panic called out to Roberta,who was still watching the horses "Roberta we're leaving!" to which she pulled out out a sword at the sight of the bandits and told Richard "Grab the horses pup-pup!"
As Richard ran off to grab the horses while Galavant,Roberta,Snoopy and Woodstock held off the bandits,he called out to her "Right!" but stopped in his tracks when he realized she called him "Pup-Pup" as he pondered in confusion "Uh….pup-pup? Well no one's called me that since...wait a minute."
Richard then decided to quite frankly ignore the fact that they were running and fighting for their lives and slowly walked up to Roberta,who was in a swordhold with one of the bandits and asked "Are you Roberta Steingas?!" before she broke free of the bandit and knocked him on the ground with a punch to the face and replied "I am!"
"Oh….my….god! Bobby Steingas! Why didn't you say something?!" Richard happily asked out of excitement and surprise while Roberta continued to fight off the bandits to which she turned around and happily replied "I didn't think you'd remember me." before she suddenly yelled when she saw a bandit that was about to surprise attack Richard "Duck!" as the man did so,so she could finish the bandit off with a throwing dagger.
"Not remember you?! Are you crazy?! We grew up together you big dummy!" Richard happily exclaimed as he rose back up before Roberta chuckled and went back to fighting off the bandits to which Richard walked up to Galavant and the others,who were triple teaming a bandit at the same time and tried to tell them of his sudden reunion "Galavant,Snoopy,Woodstock you're not gonna freakin believe this! Our new traveling companion is Bobby Steingas! She was one of the children my parents used to hire to play with me!"
"Do you think maybe we could catch up later!?" Galavant asked out of a mixture of frustration and annoyance as he was nearly in a chokehold with one of the bandits while Snoopy added as he was on top of the bandits head and punching it over and over again "Yeah cause we're trying to not die here!" to which Woodstock added as he tried to poke the bandit in the eyes "There's a time and place for everything Richard,now is not one of them!"
Galavant and his two temporary pets finally managed to break free of the bandit's grasp and went back to fighting some more as Richard merely ignored them and continued "Oh sure,she was seven and I was thirteen,but it just worked you know-" but stopped when Galavant barely managed to keep a throwing dagger from being lodged in Richard's throat as the man finally obliged "Yeah we can talk about this later."
After managing to avoid some more of the bandits,the gang finally made it to their horses and rode off at just the nick of time since more and more bandits were showing up,but Galavant and his group thankfully managed to escape. Once they were far away enough so the bandits couldn't possibly follow them,Snoopy gave a deep breath and sarcastically remarked "Well that went well." to which Roberta asked "What the hell happened in there?"
'Let's just say that Richard kept his mouth open for too long." Woodstock replied as he tried to catch his breath to which Richard tried to retort "Now-" but was cut off by Galavant as he interrupted "Richard,I need you to focus. Yes,it's good that you smuggled the jewel out in your…."
"Bottom. Well mouth first." Richard nonchalantly finished Galavant's sentence for him since he was having a hard time trying to say it due to how gross it sounded as Roberta got confused by this and asked "Wait what?" to which Snoopy tried to get her mind off it "Don't ask sister,you do not wanna know." before Galavant added "You're right,she doesn't,but we can't have any more mistakes. This jewel is now our key to getting an army,and it's Isabella's life,her salvation. How she must be suffering in Hortensia."
Meanwhile in Hortensia,Isabella was happily planning the wedding along with Cherrywood and some of the others thanks to the former's hypnotizing tiara he placed on her earlier. The only ones who weren't helping out with the wedding were Gwynn,Linus and the other kids,because they were quite frankly suspicious of Wormwood and Isabella's sudden desire to go along with the wedding,especially Linus and Peppermint Patty. They all knew Isabella long enough to know that she would never go along with this wedding willingly even after Galavant's supposed breakup and that something had to be up.
Isabella was busy practicing a dance routine with her fiancé Harry by her dollhouse like room,with Wormwood,Gwynn and the kids watching from the sidelines. Due to Harry's much smaller height compared to his bride to be,he was instead tied to the jester's back while the latter mimicked what Isabella wanted out of her first dance.
"No,no,no,no,no. Jester,it's slide,back,slide. Please get it right otherwise my wedding dance is gonna look so stupid." Isabella disappointedly whined when the jester accidentally messed up the way she wanted the dance to go as the jester turned around and regretfully apologized "Sorry Princess,I'm a prop comic,not a dancer."
Linus rolled his eyes at the display and Isabella's overly perfect nature as he whispered to the others "Something's up with her,and Wormwood here is certainly not making things better." to which Marcie fixed her crooked glasses and suggested "I think it's something to do with that tiara,ever since she put it on she's been way too happy with this."
However their speculation on what was up with Isabella would be interrupted when Vincenzo came in with a table full of snacks and shouted "Snacky time!" to which Harry gleefully replied before he united himself and rushed over to the table "Yay!"
"Okay everyone,let's take five!" Wormwood happily suggested that they take a break as Sally whispered to the others "Well we can talk about this later,I'm starving." before Gwynn suddenly replied as she overheard their conversation "Ya'll go on ahead,I'll try and talk to the princess." to which Linus added "We'll both talk to her,maybe more than one of us can figure out what this is all about." before the others reluctantly headed over to the snack table.
Gwynn and Linus slowly walked over to Isabella to help fix her up and make sure she looked nice since the latter had unofficially become Isabella's hand maiden as she politely asked "Milady,I hope it won't sound impertinent,but we all can't help noticing this big change that's come over you lately." to which Linus politely added "I mean,you're usually so passive aggressive and cynical towards the wedding but,now you're so excited about this. What happened here?"
Isabella however merely smiled widely and replied as the tiara glew once again and her pupils briefly spun around "Oh,I guess I'm just…...happy. After all,I'm getting married." to which Linus nervously replied "Isi? Did your eyes just….spin?" before Gwynn nervously added as well "Linus is right,you're pupils just spun round then and your tiara started to glow which-"
"She said...she's happy,okay?" Wormwood suddenly interrupted their conversation in a nervous and even kind of intimidating tone of voice as Linus squinted his eyes at him out of skepticism before Wormwood said out loud "Right,let's all go back to one shall we?" to which the jester got on his knees so Harry could climb up on his back again before Gwynn and Linus angrily stormed off.
"It's so obvious she's possessed or something due to that tiara. Why hasn't anyone else aside from us noticed?" Linus asked out of bewilderment and frustration as he and Gwynn walked down the hall to which she replied frustrated as well "It's because of that wedding,that's all those folks care about."
"Yeah well I'm sure gonna get that thing off of her one way or another." Linus chuckled and retorted before he continued "Well I'm gonna go tell the others,try to figure a way to get that thing off her." to which Gwynn bid him farewell as he headed back to where the others were "See you later Linus."
Once it was just Gwynn alone by herself,she sighed and headed around the corner to see that Vincenzo was dumping some of the snack leftovers in the trash as she gasped and exclaimed "Chef no don't throw it away!" before she ran over to the trash to get some of them out. It seemed that after all this time,Gwynn was still not getting used to her new life in the palace where she didn't have to scavenge for crumbs or eat leftovers anymore as Vincenzo tried to calm her down "Gwyndolin,bae,you know you don't have to do that anymore. We are officially big-pimpin,no more living on leftovers. We can be as wasteful as the fine folk." before he dumped another plate of leftovers in the trash.
Gwynn however was still not convinced about this and meekly replied "I don't know,it just doesn't feel right." to which Vincenzo gleefully disagreed with her and asked "Oh what do you mean? It feels fantastic!" before they went to their room and tried to reap and embrace the benefits.
Vincenzo: We got a snazzy new room with two whole benches,it's practically rodent free.
We've got expensive perfume for all our stenches,as swellegant as can be. And with these pointy new shoes to walk through mud in,fancy silk squares to cough up blood in,baby let's face it,this is as good as it gets.
"I suppose it is rather nice." Gwynn couldn't help but admit with a smile.
Gwynn: We've got the classier type of bedbug species between our new burlap sheets.
Vincenzo: We've got a custom-made pipe that dumps our feces on one of the nicer streets.
Gwynn: And when there's something amiss inside our breeches,
Vincenzo: our barber applies his fattest leeches,
Gwynn: why not embrace it?
Both: This is as good as it gets.
Vincenzo: We're part of the upper lower class now.
Gwynn: Sickly,yet,oh,so chic.
Vincenzo: Our glass is half full,
Gwynn: we own a glass now.
Vincenzo: We bathe once a week,
Gwynn: well,"bathe" so to speak.
Both: And as our station in life keeps growing stronger we're growing in more ways too.
Gwynn: I think my tapeworm is like a whole foot longer.
Vincenzo: By now I might have a few.
Both: And though our breath and our teeth may still be rotten,together just look how far we've gotten,
Vincenzo: baby we made it!
Gwynn: Totally slayed it!
Both: Why would we trade it?! This is,as good as it gets!
However admits their discussion on why their new living arrangements were great,it seemed that Vincenzo accidentally dropped a small piece of a vegetable as Gwynn was now starting at it intently to which Vincenzo reluctantly remarked "Go ahead,I know it's driving you crazy." before Gwynn scrambled to the floor to grab and eat it.
Back in Valencia,Madelena was checking herself out in front of a mirror in her room,for she seemed to be dressed up much more fancier than usual as she was wearing a glittery gold colored dress and a golden necklace as well. She was clearly dressed for some sort of special occasion and she knew she had to look her best,although she was having trouble deciding what earrings to pick as she turned around to Charlie Brown and Sidney,who were also in there with her and were helping her out and asked "Which are better,gold or diamonds? Gold? Diamonds?"
However before either of them could give their two sense on what Madelena should wear,she had already decided by herself as she stated "I'm going with gold." before Sid complimented them "They're beautiful my queen." to which Charlie Brown nodded his head in agreement.
"And you two are sure they don't make me look poor?" Madelena asked out of nervousness that these would instead make her look poor at whatever mystery event she was going to or holding as Sid politely reassured her "No because they're gold." before Charlie Brown added "Everyone wants gold these days,you're gonna look great my queen."
Suddenly Gareth burst into the room and asked out of annoyance at the sight of Madelena's earnings "Still with the earrings? For god's sake just pick a pair,and just because you've been invited by a couple of old tarts to a Sunday roast,does not mean that you can take my manservants for days." to which Sid politely corrected him "Uh I thought we agreed on "personal assistants?" before Madelena ignored them and retorted as she went back to stare into the mirror "And the Von Falconburgh Sisters are not tarts. They are the most popular queens in all the seven realms. I remember the first time I saw them,I was just a little girl and they passed through my village. I'd never seen anything like them,they could've bought or sold all of us with just one of their spectacular earrings. And to my amazement they singled me out for special attention."
Madelena then proceeded to have a traumatic flashback to her childhood where the two sisters came strolling through her village in their carriage and how they pulled over and offered her younger self a ride,however it was nothing more than a dirty trick as everytime she tried to get in with them,they drove forward a little to the point where it was just a sick prank as they soon rode away and mocked and laughed at her for being poor.
"They sound awful." Sid remarked with a hint of sympathy for Madelena as Charlie Brown added "And I thought Lucy,Violet and Patty could be mean sometimes. That's just evil." to which Madelena evily smiled and replied "Oh they were mean,and they were awful. And that's when I realized I wanted to be just like them,and this invitation to their Sunday roast proves that I've finally arrived. Also blockhead boy you're coming with me."
Charlie Brown gasped at the thought of him being able to leave the castle and going somewhere with Madelena as he nervously stammered "W-w-why me?" to which she coldly retorted "Because if I have someone as weak and wishy washy as you with me then I'll look even better." before she picked up her invitation to relish in it.