Chapter 26.
AN: PREPZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK!1 if u dnot lik da story den go fok urself u fokeng prep! U SUK!111 (Right. Maybe it's just me, but doesn't – doesn't anybody else wonder why Tara HASN'T GOTTEN THE POINT YET?) oh y and I wuznt beng rasist ok!11 (ooh, what was she being racist about? The black guy shooting Luscious Mouthful and Sirius? He was EPIC!)
A few mutates later Vampire came 2 da tree. (and it was love at first sight!) He was wearing a blak leather jackson, black leather pants (I find this funny, it gives me an image of Harry wearing nothing but leather boxers. Sexy! xD) and a Good Chralotte t-shirt.
"Hi Vampire." I said flirtily as I started to sob. (-adds to list of Extraordinary Things Enoby Can Do That No Other Human Can Or Wishes To Do-) Draco hugged me sexily (Ooh, Draco has talent too!) tryont to comfrot me. I started to cry tears of blood (No, tears of goblin piss!) and then told them what happened.
"Oh fuck it!" Vampire shouted angrily. He4 started to cry sadly. "What fucking dick did that!" (I'll tell you what fucking dick did that! Dannii Minogue did that! Dannii had the final vote and sent Jedward off the XFactor! I know, it's awful. But you're a little late, it was a year and a half ago.)
"I don't know." I said. "Now come on we have 2 tell Dumbledor." (Huh, I thought you hated Dumbledore since he became one of you. Which doesn't really make sense.)
We ran out of the tree (I've still no idea why you were there in the first place, but each to their own.) and in2 da castle. (FJUCK! I'VE FIGURED OUT THE PLOTLINE! Willow was disguising as her tree-spy-self, and she was the tree Enoby and Draco were in, and now she knows everything! WILLOW, YOU TRAITOROUS BITCH! I'VE CALLED YOU IT ONCE AND I'LL CALL YOU IT AGAIN!) Dumblydor was sitting in his office.
"Sire are dads have been shot!" (Wait wait wait. Sirius is Harry's dad now? This is… news to me!) Draco said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. (Ooh, skills, you can whip the tears off!) "Enoby had a vision in a dreem." (Yeah, whatever one of those is.)
Dubleodre started to cockle. (… I think I just died and went to cockle heaven.) "Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Ebony's not divisional?" (Oh, thank God you can't split Enoby up into army divisions.)
I glared at Dumbledore. (And puked up goblin piss all down his beard.)
"Look motherfucker." (Lovely way to address your headmaster!) he said angrily as Dumbeldore gasped (c is da toot of crakter). (I'm guessing she means: See, is the tooter out of crack? Tooter being an old man like Dumbledore, or one of those 'choo-choo!' things on trains.) "U know very well that I'm not decisional. Now get some fucking ppl out there to look for Series and Lucian- pornto!" (Is anybody else enough of an idiot to accidentally step on someone's foot and say 'Go away!' when they tell you to mind where you're going? Or is that just me who says something like that instead of apologising? He did laugh and go away though… except he must be starting to think I've got a grudge against him for some reason, because I accidentally said it again today. I don't mean to, it just slips out when I can't think of any witty comebacks… which is like, always… My comebacks seem to consist of three options: saying 'go away' and not meaning it, laughing really awkwardly because I don't know how to reply, or quoting something obscure. Like 'When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate!'.)
"Okay." he said in a intimated voice. "Were are they?" (What the hell? –facepalm- They're missing! The whole point is that you don't know where they are! Imagine if that happened on an actual investigation. "So, Detective, a little girl has gone missing from her home." "Oh dear, where is she?" "…We don't know, we just said she was missing." "Ah! I see. Right, well, first thing's first: where is she?" "No, that's what we're asking you and your team to find out…" "Is it? Well, that's stupid. How are we supposed to find her if we don't know where she is?" "…")
I fought about it. (Aww, she fought about it. With the voices in her head. –cough- Crazy! –cough- My imaginary walrus thinks the voices in her head are silly.) Then all of a sudden….. "Longdon." I said. (You know, London was an alright place till you mentioned it. Thanks a lot, Enoby!) I told him which street. (I bet it's Stupid Street. I bet it is.) He went and called some people and did some stuff. (called some people and did some stuff? What, like called Amazon to cancel his order of Sex and the City because people were starting to get suspicious of his sexuality, and then baked a batch of fairy cakes with hundreds and thousands on top?) After a few mistunes (a few WHAT? Was he trying and failing to tune his guitar or something?) he came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. (well, that was probably the easiest case the authorities have ever had to deal with!) Draco, Vampire and I all left to our rooms together. I went with Draco to wait in the nurses office while Vampire went to slit his wrists in his room. (Of course he did.) We looked at each other's gothic, derperessed eyes. Then, we kissed. (SHOCK. FJUCKING. HORROR! Really, who saw that coming?) Suddenly Serious and Lucian came in on stretchers….and Proffesor Sinister was behind them!1 (I BET SHE TURNS OUT TO BE A SUPER EVIL NINJA DALEK WHO WAS INTERVIEWING PEOPLE ON STUPID STREET IN DISGUISE AS A SUPER EVIL NINJA DALEK PANDA. I bet she is.)