Getting off the couch, Sasori stepped on something soft. Glancing down he sighed. Using his foot he picked Bard up off the floor and frowned as the bird was in the living room without his partner.

"Deidara?" Sasori called, looking around for the boy who must have run off during pre-bed cartoons.

Immediately he received the holler from down the hallway, "Bushin my teef, un!"

That was an acceptable response. It was time for little boys to go to bed and teeth needed to be cleaned. Walking to the bathroom, Sasori frowned at the sight of the boy not brushing. His toothbrush was sorta foamy, yes, however swirled in the foam were still large chunks of pink bubblegum toothpaste.

"That's not brushing." Sasori remarked, crinkling his nose. "What exactly are you doing?"

Deidara was instead carefully touching his teeth, actually a tooth in particular. It was kind of hurting, but he didn't want to complain since his Danna would probably take him to the Dentist and ain't nobody want to go there... He heard stuff about dentists making jewelry out of children's teeth!

As he looked at the tooth once more he frowned. He was a little worried since he could have sworn he saw the tooth move. In fact if he pressed hard enough it kinda...wiggled...

"Mm, nothin." Deidara mumbled picking the small green brush back up and getting back to work.

Not having a real care for what Deidara was doing, Sasori shrugged it off. "Dei, when you're done I want to talk to you about earlier today." He mentioned, dropping Bard in the floor nearby where the child could grab him.

Heaven forbid the ugly thing go missing.

"Uh, Okay...macaroni..." Deidara mumbled not really paying attention to the redhead or to what he was saying. All he could think about was why he needed a talking. A lot of things he did could have been considered bad. However, what one in particular was his Danna going to fixate on?

More importantly: was he going to get in trouble?

Finishing up, Deidara grabbed Bard off the bathroom floor and walked into his bedroom. Lifting his yellow birdie shirt to scratch at his belly, he yawned as his foots steps gradually got heavier. Perhaps if he acted very sleepy, Danna would let him to to bed in peace.

The super sleepy act was immediately dropped the moment he walked into the room. Looking at his Danna he grinned at the sight of the man in the process of folding his clean laundry. Unfortunately for the five year old, just as he went to attack the neatly folded pile, he received a harsh command.

"BED."

Stumbling to the floor from being startled, Deidara laughed as he got up and climbed up into his cozy bed. "So Danna, whatcha wanna talk about, un?" He asked, waiting patiently for the redhead to come do mandatory tuck in time.

If he was in trouble there was a good chance of no stories. How sad.

Taking his time in putting away the last pile of clothes Sasori finally stood up and made his way over to the small bed.

"I want to talk about your behaviour earlier this evening." He started as he pressed a button that would lower the safety rail so he could climb comfortably into the bed with the boy.

"Huh?" Deidara grunted genuinely confused. Earlier this evening? Why, earlier he was a delight! What his Danna should be doing is climbing into bed with that meanie-pants Pain and give him a good tough talking to!

"What did I do?" He asked pursing his lips.

Sasori open and closed his eyes slowly. "Earlier today when you were touching my... Behind. Well you see, I asked you to stop, yes?"

Deidara looked away as he recalled his disobedience. So THAT was what his Danna was going to fixate on. "U-un."

Carefully wrapping an arm around the child, Sasori pulled him close. "Well when you hit me and don't listen to me when I ask you to stop, do you know how that makes me feel?" He asked sitting up and angling his body so he was on top of the boys hand.

"...No good?"

"No good."

Deidara squirmed as he realized his hand now was oddly underneath his Danna's...bum... What kind of lesson what this! Danna says don't touch my bum and then makes him touch the bum himself. Very fishy...

"Deidara do you know what bums do?" Sasori asked holding the boy firmly in place in case he tried to move.

"Um, bums make poopies?" He asked as if he wasn't sure of his response, even squirming a bit in the grip, getting more and more confused with each second.

"That's correct! What else?"

Deidara furrowed his brows. Where was the man going with all this forbidden potty talk?

"Bums go foofoos?"

"Why yes, yes they do!" Sasori spoke a little too happy as his grip got even tighter.

"What are ya - " Deidara started but abruptly halted as a loud noise filled the room. "YOU FOOFOO'D ON MY HAND!"

Sasori reached foreword, grabbed the child's face and gave him a big goodnight kiss on the forehead. All just before he got up, shoving him onto the bed in the process. "Haha! You're now the Fart-Boy!" He sneered, raising the safety railing back up.

Deidara got up on his knees and looked at his hand in utter disgust. "Fart-Boy!?"

Moving over to the wall Sasori turned on the little nightlight. "You touch my ass, I fart on your hand!" He yelled as he stood up, puffing out his chest proudly at the distraught look on Deidara's dumb face. "You liked touching my ass so much, now you got a treat, Fart-boy!"

"Nooooo!"

"And do you know what I'm going to do your hand the next time you touch my butt?" Sasori sneered as he walked to the door, hand placed on the light switch.

"What..."

Looking back and forth mischievously he let an even creepier smile curl up on his lips. "I'm gonna poop on it." Sasori snarled in a dramatic manner and he shut off the lights.

"NOOOOO!"

Closing the door halfway, Sasori took a few steps down the hallway before stopping and glancing back. "Nighty-night Deidara!" He called, even waiting to hear the kids pathetic response like a sadist.

"Uuuuuuu... Nigh-night, unnnn."

There are two children who live in the house. One child-child and one man-child. Out of the two, who really runs the house? Well, lets just say it's a struggle to stay at the top.

amkay wanted to see deidara be punished. this is how sasori generally punishes. boys are just really gross. the next day deidara was very chill about the foofoo. it never happened. deidara the fart-boy? what's that? ?