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Ally's POV
Here it is. It's been three weeks since the break up between me and Austin. None of us has said a word to each other since that night. Nothing. Nada. As I walk down the hallway, I see Austin coming from the opposite direction and I swear the world or at least us are in slow motion. We walk past each other as if nothing happened between us or any recognition of history.
The day drags on with boring ass periods and I sigh in relief when it's lunch time because I am starving. I know what you're thinking. Do you guys still sit at the same table? Yes, we do considering we have the same friends. It's a lot of tension but our group tries talking about other things to make it less awkward.
I walk up to the table where everyone is sitting already. "What's up?" I say as everyone responds 'hey' except for you know who. Which I don't care of course. "So, Als and Cass, the big game is tonight. Are you excited?" Dallas asked both of us. "I don't know. It's the championship. I'm nervous and excited." Cass answered. "You're gonna do great." He said smiling at her as she blushed.
"I'm not nervous. I look too cute in the uniform to be nervous." I say as they all laughed except for- okay you know who. "Okay, I just wanna say that my baby got straight A's on her report card and I am very proud!" Trent said smiling showing us Trish's report card as we laughed at his eagerness to show her off. He kissed her as she playfully rolled her eyes. They're cute.
It went silent for a while as we ate but it wasn't an awkward silence. Then it became an awkward silence as me and Austin constantly picked at our food trying to avoid looking up at each other. "Okay, that's enough! Talk to each other now." We hear Dallas say as we look at each other glaring and then going back to what we were doing before. "You two are being immature. You love each other. Stop being this way!" Trish added in. "I'm not being any way. She did this." Austin said to her. "No you did!" I tell him back causing a few seconds of silence before he looks at me with cold dead eyes.
"I hate you, Dawson." He said as everyone including myself eyes widen in shock. I mean sure we hated each other before but I think we all know it wasn't that serious. I mean of course we really disliked each other but this time he sounded really serious. He was serious.
"How could you say that to me?" I say lowly still in shock of how his words hurt me. "Because I do. I hate you for starting that fucking argument. I hate you for blaming me for everything. I hate you for breaking my heart and I hate you for ruining the best fucking thing that has ever happened to me. We were fine, Ally. Our relationship was fine and you ruined it! So yes I fucking hate you!" He said yelling before storming out the lunchroom. I slowly sit down in my seat after that huge blowout. "Als...he didn't mean that. He's just hurt." Cass said to reassure me. I face her with a small sad smile. "Me too." I say getting up and leaving as well.
Austin's POV
I don't care. I don't care. She deserved it. I could have said a lot worse, trust me. She just pisses me off so much. Why did she have to ruin what we had? She did this to us. She did. When I storm out the cafeteria, I decide to head home for he day. I don't feel like staying considering I don't wanna see her face again for the rest of the day.
I head home to Ron and my mom on the sofa. She's asleep on his lap as he waves to me as I come in. I scoff and roll my eyes about to head upstairs. He gently gets up trying not to wake my mom up and comes over to me. "Hey, Austin. What's wrong? Did something happen?" He asked concerned and confused I was being cold to him for the last few weeks since we got along that one time.
"Nothing, other than the fact that you lied to me." I said bluntly. "Lied to you? What are you talking about?" He asked genuinely confused. "A few weeks ago I asked you how to tell if you love a person." I said as he nodded his head. "Yes and I told you how you would know." He said casually. "No. Wrong answer. There is no way of knowing if you love a person because it's simply impossible. You can't love someone if it doesn't exist." I said getting in his face pissed at everything bad that has happened in my life. "Wow. She must have really broke your heart." He said lowly looking at me with sympathy.
"No, I just think I finally get the meaning of life. Look out for yourself and no one else. Because apparently mom's can't be trusted as well." I say glancing over at her as Ron sighs. "Austin, I don't have any idea what's going on with her either so you're not alone there." He tells me.
"Why are you still with her? Why would you wanna be with someone who keeps secrets from you?" I asked confused whether she was my mother or not. "Because I trust her and you helped me do that. Whatever she's dealing with, I believe that one day she'll tell me or you. I think we have to give her time." He said putting his hand on my shoulder as I take it off. "I think time's up." I say going up the stairs laying on my bed.
I officially for the first time have an ex, my mom is keeping a secret from me and I still haven't heard back from the college I'm trying to get into. I hear a ring from my cell and I pick it up. "What?" I say as I know it's one of the guys. "What's up, Austin. You coming to the game tonight, right?" He asked me as I shook my head even though he couldn't see me.
"Dude, no way. Ally's going to be there." I said rejecting as he laughed a little. "You know that's actually the first time I heard you say her first name without it being followed by her last name." He said amused. "Anyway, you're still going. I thought you were over her?" He said smartly even though he didn't believe me. "I just don't wanna see her." I tell him honestly. "It's the last game of senior year. Be there or I will drag you there." He said ending the conversation by hanging up. I sigh knowing he literally would drag me out.
Ally's POV
It's finally time for the championship game and I head into the locker room to change with the other girls. "Hey Ally." A blonde chick says who I believe name is Grace from my team. "Uh hey." I say tying my shoelaces. "So you and Austin broke up right?" She asked kinda hesitate as she caused me to look up at her. "Yeah...why?" I say annoyed that she was in my business. "Well, I wanted to know if you would mind me asking him out. I mean we're not friends but I thought since you're on my team, it's still respectful to ask you." She said honestly as I raise my eyebrows in surprise.
"I honestly don't care. So go for it." I say giving her sarcastic thumbs up. "Seriously? Are you sure?" She asked one more time as I nod my head. "Yeah, go ahead." I say finishing tying my shoelaces as she smiles and walks away as I sigh and feel a pain in my chest.
We soon go out to the field and the crowd cheers as the game starts. Every time our team gets a touchdown, we do a cheer that the crowd loves. Everyone watches as our star quarterback runs the ball for a touchdown and makes it and the crowd goes wild because we won the championship. I look up at the bleachers to see Dallas, Trent and Trish cheering me and Cassidy on.
Austin stands next to them just staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face. I look back until someone snaps me out of it. "Hey Ally." I hear Tom say from next to me. Tom is a boy that I met a couple days after me and Austin broke up. We flirt all the time but nothing serious. "You were amazing." He said looking me up and down. "I know." I say smirking as he laughs and kisses me. I'm shocked by the kiss and usually I would pull away from a guy kissing me when I don't approve but this will defiantly make Austin jealous. I put my hand in his hair and pull him closer and pull away when it's enough.
I look up at the stands to see Austin walking out and I realize that I didn't feel as good as I thought it would make me feel. I follow him into the school and I see him walk in the hallways where it is completely empty because everyone is outside.
"Moon!" I yell and I could tell he heard me but chose to ignore but only caused me to smirk. Who's playing hard to get now? "Moon!" I say again as he turns around and stands there staring at me annoyed. I come up to him and when I'm about to speak I notice a little white paper in his hand. It's a number with the name Grace on it. Wow, she works fast.
"What Dawson?" He asked irritated and I realized I didn't say anything yet. "Hey." I say not knowing what else to say since seeing that paper made me forget my confidence around him. "Hey? That's all you have to say?" He asked looking at me as if I couldn't be serious. "I don't want you to go out with that girl." I say bluntly, shocking him and myself. "What?" He said confused. "The girl on that paper. I don't want you going out with her." I say again more confidently.
He looks down at his paper remembering and inside I smile because technically he completely forgot about her. "Oh. Why not?" He asked and shockingly he doesn't smirk. He must be really pissed with me. "Because she's not right for you." I tell him. "Grace? Are you sure? She seems real nice." He says purposely complimenting her. "Maybe, but she's not me." I say gently pushing him against the wall closing the space between us. "Maybe I don't want her to be you." He says serious looking in my eyes. "Moon..." I say my voice breaking as I kiss him.
I start slowly and he doesn't respond right away until I wrap my arms around his neck. He starts to deepen it and we move in sync against the wall and I realize how much I want this back. He slowly pulls away stopping us as we both look into each other's eyes breathing heavy. "I missed you, Moon." I said as hurt flashed in his eyes before moving away from me and the wall.
"Too bad. I hate you all over again, Dawson." He said harshly walking away leaving me speechless in the hallway.
After that statement I realize Austin Moon is no longer worth my time. No one rejects Ally Dawson. I am a fucking queen and I deserve a king who will always want me. Fuck you Moon. I hate you too.
I decide to visit Lauren again. When I arrive at the rehab, I walk into the room to see her eyes widen from shock that I returned. "Your mother has actually gotten better in the last few weeks. You should be proud." One of the nurses said smiling as she walked out.
I sit down in the chair across from my mom as she sits down as well. "I thought I would never see you again." She said bluntly. "Yeah, me too. I'm only hear because my life sucks right now and I figured being around someone who life sucks more would make me feel better." I said rudely. "That hurts me, but I defiantly deserve it. What's wrong?" She asked me. "My boyfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago and I'm pretty sure I still have feelings for him which sucks because I'm the last thing on his mind now and I really want to hate him." I say casually as if I didn't care which isn't true.
"Oh wow. I'm sorry. What happened?" She asked interested as I rolled my eyes. "Turns out I am more like you than I want to admit." I say carelessly moving some hair out my face. "Look, I understand why that could concern you. I wouldn't want to be me either." She said as I didn't respond. "You know, you left so quickly the last time you were hear...I didn't get to say something that's long over due." She said looking me in my eyes. "Lauren, what are you talking about?" I ask confused.
"I'm sorry." She said shocking me to the core. Words I never thought I would ever hear in a billion years. "You...don't have to apologize. I don't care anymore." I said unconvincingly. "It doesn't matter. Whether you wanna hear it or not I need to say it. I am sorry Ally. I am sorry for loving you just to leave you. I'm sorry for abandoning an innocent little girl that deserved way better than that. I'm sorry that I never appreciated you in the way I should have. But most of all I'm sorry that I turned a sweet innocent girl into a bitter, mean young woman who feels she has to put her walls up and hate everyone in sight because the person she depended on most left her. So even if this apology means nothing to you, I still need you to know that... I am sorry." She said finishing off leaving me speechless and teary eyed. I hurry and suck them back in before they can fall because Ally fucking Dawson does not cry.
"Okay, you've said your peace. Let's move on. Last time I was here, you asked about my dad. Why? Why do you care?" I ask genuinely interested. "Ally, you have no idea the guilt I have felt every since learning about my horrible actions. Your father is a good man. Always has been. I want him happy." She said sincerely. "Well, he's been sad for over a decade after you left but he did pretty well hiding it. I think he's finally come to terms that you two just weren't meant to be." I said.
"I always loved your father. Even when I left. I still love him now." She said being honest. "Well, that doesn't matter anymore. He has someone new and he moved on." I told her as she nodded her head. "Of course. Ally, you should know I would never sabotage his relationship. My dream is for you and him to be happy after the horrible thing I did to you and I would never try to take that away. If someone is making him happy, well consider her my new best friend." She said laughing a little.
"I'm sorry, I just keep thinking about my ex boyfriend. He has the nerve to say he hates me again." I say still pissed about the statement. "No worries. What do you mean hate you again?" She asked again. "We were enemies first and then we ended up liking each other so we decided to go out. We dated for 3 solid months and then I kind of ruined it." I said finally admitted out loud.
"How did you ruin it?" She asked me. "I blamed him for something we both did. I have too much pride to apologize." I said honestly shrugging my shoulders.
"You must have really loved him." She said looking at me. "I...did. I didn't find out until after we broke up and so I never got to tell him." I say remembering my devastation. "You can still tell him." She said encouraging. "Did you not hear me before? I have too much pride and I don't love him anymore. We're enemies again." I said not happy about the old title. She looks at me sadly and we sit in silence for a while.
"I just hate that I can't stop thinking about him. I hate that he makes me feel this way. I hate feeling this way. Vulnerable. It's sucks so much and I just fucking hate it." I said not caring that I cursed in front of her because I have no respect for her. "Maybe he's worth being vulnerable for." She said lowly.
"How would you know about being vulnerable." I say scoffing not remembering a single day knowing her to be vulnerable. "Believe it or not, your father was that person I could be vulnerable for. At one point when I was stressing about the decision, I was going to go to him and talk with him to see if I could get some help to do the right thing." She informed me. "And you decided not too, and made the decision yourself." I say finishing off. "Yes...I felt so strongly for him that I let it scare me and do things on my own, which is fine because there's nothing wrong with being an independent woman Ally. But he wasn't just some guy and he wasn't just my husband. He was my equal and partner and I let him down because I didn't tell him the problems I was dealing with and how I was hurting. And in the end, I ended up hurting him." She finished off teary eyed and emotional.
"That's why I'm telling you this Ally! I don't want you to ever make my same mistakes. I messed up and I'm losing my daughter because of it." She said crying now. "I haven't made my decision yet about wanting you in my life again. But you shouldn't get your hopes up." I told her honestly. "I know." She said.
"I don't wanna be like you. But I can't stop myself from doing stupid things. It's like I have a need to hurt others." I said letting my true feelings out. "That's because people hurt you. Including me and that...boy Ryan. I heard about him a couple years back." She told me as I raised my eyes in surprise. "You saw the video?!" I yelled appalled. "Of course not! But it was around the country. I was devastated that had happened to my daughter and I couldn't imagine what you were going through. But then again I didn't come and see how you were because I was selfish and horrible and cared about my success more than my child's feelings." She said feeling bad.
"This has been...I don't know what this has been." I said getting up as she did as well. "I'm happy you came. I got to say a lot more than I did last time." She said walking me to the door. "You really are a beautiful young woman Ally. And I know that you are strong enough to make your inside just as beautiful. You got that from your father." She tells me smiling. "Bye." She said opening the door for me. "Bye Lauren." I say walking out feeling a lot better than the last time I walked out that room.
When I get home, I see my dad come out the kitchen. "Hey sweetie. Where are you coming from?" He asked nicely. "Rehab. To see Lauren." I said casually as he widen his eyes. "You went to go see your mom?" He said in disbelief. "It's not the first time." I said putting my bag down.
"Well, how was it? Was it a disaster?" He said sitting me down with him. "It was the first time. Today was...lets just say I have more of an understanding of her." I tell him as he nods intrigued. "Ally, that's amazing. You know no matter what she's put us through, I have always wanted you to get your mother back because you deserve it." He said as I shook my head.
"She's not my mother. She hasn't been for a long time. I'm not as mad at her as I was before but I'm still not sure if I want her back in my life dad. She did a lot of damage." I say honestly. "I know sweetie." He says smiling sadly at me holding my hand as Betty comes out the kitchen and sits next to my dad.
"Hey Als. I didn't know you were here. How are you?" She asked politely sipping on her tea. "I'm good." I responded. "Ally, sweetie. There's something we have to tell you." My dad said smiling as I look at him strangly. "Yeah?" I say sitting back folding my legs.
He grabs Betty's hand and that's when I notice a ring. "Betty and I are getting married!" He said as they smiled wide eyed. "Your dad proposed yesterday! It was so beautiful. He took me out to dinner and sang me a song and then right in front of everyone, there he was on one knee." She said shining with delight.
I stand up in shock and horror. "What? No!" I say changing their reactions. "Ally, what do you mean no?" My dad says getting up as well with Betty. "Exactly what I said. No!" I repeated. "I thought you would be happy for us sweetie." My dad said as him and Betty had a disappointed face. "Why would you think I would be happy? Just because I got along with her? That's because you guys were just dating. I never thought it would go this far." I said walking towards the door as they followed.
"Ally, we're adults. We don't just date to date. We date to see if that person can be in our future." Betty told me. "You can't marry my dad." I said feeling emotional looking her dead in the eyes. "Please just tell me why?" She said looking back at me. "Because you'll leave...just...like...her." I say letting a tear fall down my cheek. "Oh Ally." She says going to hug me but I back away. "No, you both done enough." I say walking out and closing the door.
I hurriedly wiped my tears knowing I can't be seen that way. I am a mess. I really mean it when I say that. I didn't want to be rude and ignorant to Betty because I really do like her, but I couldn't help it. Lauren was right, I've let her past decisions define the person I am today. I have to change. Not for my dad. Not for my mom. Not for Moon. For me.
END OF CHAPTER REVIEW QUESTIONS
1. How do you feel about Austin's words to Ally?
2. What did you think about the convo between Ally and her mother Lauren?
3. Are you happy or mad about Betty and Lester getting married?
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