Disclaimer: the usual I own nothing from the movie… I own only my characters

Chapter 26: Waiting and Wondering

It had been nearly three weeks time since the knights left Alton Glen on this mission. This mission that took him from his new wife, his woman. He despised Rome more and more for pulling him from the comfort of her arms, the warmth of their bed and the feel of her silk laden skin.

Damn the rain, it was hard, it was thick with its sharp heavy drops slicing his face, mocking him, ever a reminder that he was far away from her flesh. His clothes, his hair were heavy from the weight of the rain. He smelled of dirt, sweat, battle and the never ending stench of blood. He hadn't bathed since he was in the pond with Lorna that morning. The rain only made the smells worse no matter what Bors said about it washing away the blood.

Disgruntled he sat near the fire pit of their camp, his back turned from the others as he used his wet stone to sharpen his sword. Try as he may he was unsuccessful in blocking out the trivial, annoying conversations that surrounded him with taunting about him being a kept man now. What pleasure did they understand about his new life? Perhaps Bors would be the only one to understand, although his relationship with Vanora was always volatile. Tristan could never understand how they could stand to be around each other. He could never imagine himself with a woman like Vanora the constant fighting, screaming between the two of them or the constant mayhem of their wild unruly brood. He could not imagine being with a woman who was too submissive either, a spineless mouse of girl. How could a woman like that know how to take him she certainly would not satisfy him emotionally or sexually.

He swore by all the power within him if one more of the young knights spoke out of turn about him and his woman they would soon find a dagger in their neck. Gruffly standing he grumbled beneath his breath as he walked toward the thicket to relieve himself.

"They are just envious you know that Tristan." Dag quietly said as he stood by another tree relieving himself

After a few moments both men stood near the horses.

"I suppose we all are really, even me …to have what you have…especially after …" he paused looking down at his clutched hands

"After what" Tristan inquired after a few long moments of silence in his normal grumble

"Standing in the... the hut… " he replied quietly

"Yes" was his only reply, understanding the depth of how they each felt being there

"You are lucky Tristan" he said pensively as he walked away, looking back over his shoulder he heeded a warning to the scout "Do not mess this up"

Leaving the scout alone with his thoughts as the rain beat down with a gale force wind hollowing at his back shaking him to and fro the large knight walked into the darkness for a piece of his own solitude and reflection. He realized what dag had said was true, he was indeed lucky to have found the one thing that so many longed for. How did it come to him, he who was so undeserving of it all?

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Several mornings later-

Making her way through the market place Lorna gathered what they would need for the nights meal, some bread, cheese, fresh meat for the stew, carrots potatoes.

Helena had come a week's past to stay with her cousin while the knights were away. The company did her good for she found their quarters empty without him. They were just married and had not spent a night in their new home together. She was lonely without the feel of his strong arms holding her through the night. She wore one of his shirts just to have the smell of him about her. She felt the void of his presence deep within her soul. She knew she was not complete without him, and never would be.

She had no sooner picked up some herbs for the stew when a scurry of people went by her heading toward the tavern. She could tell by the way they made their way that something was not right. Perhaps news of the knights had arrived. Making her purchase Lorna hurriedly made her way, she would see Vanora, if anyone knew she would. Arriving at the tavern she could see the ways indeed a crowd formed. Pushing her way closer to the center she spotted Vanora and went to her side. Looking into the red head's eyes she saw what every woman in love with a knight dreads... fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the uncertainty that your man would come back safely.

"There was a battle two days past, some our our men are wounded and …..some of the knights have ….fallen." she whispered

Lorna felt as though someone had hit her with a club, her stomach sank, her head spun, she became pale as her body wavered.

"No" was all she could utter as tears filled her eyes

"Come dearie" said Vanora calmly as she remembered back to the first time Bors had gone on a mission after they were a couple. She remembered feeling just the very same way.

"Do they …. have they said…. do they know who?" trying to fight the tears that welled in her eyes

"No…no news of who" taking her by the hands

"Vanora…no…he cannot be… he cannot….there is no life for me without-" she began to weep

"Here now love….none of that talk…I am sure your husband is well. Tristan is a great warrior." She wrapped her arm around Lorna's shoulder

"How do you manage Vanora? Are you not worried about Bors?" she asked between tears

"What good will come of it Lorna?" speaking softly to the new bride "I learned a long time ago that fretting about it will only drive you to the brink of madness. There is nothing to be done. Even if the worst does come, there is nothing that can come from fretting beforehand." Hugging Lorna firmly

"Now, let us see a smile. Tristan would not want you fretting. Believe in the best." she said firmly

"Yes, you are right." She gave a half smile "I had better be on my way, Helena is not well. I am making some ginger root tea for her. She has had an ill stomach for weeks now" hoping that changing the subject would ease her mind, but it did not

"Still... weeks?" she said with a smile with a slight chuckle "It is not ginger root that will cure her, love. Although perhaps it might aide her in soothing it."

"What mean you Vanora" she asked wrinkled brows

"Who might the father be? Gawain?" she asked with a smile upon her face and a cocked eyebrow

Lorna's face was suddenly covered with shock.

"Mean you she is with child?" Lorna said astonished

"My belly is swollen with my ninth child from Bors, I would say that I am near an expert, dear." She laughed patty her enlarged protruding stomach

"Oh no Vanora…no… surly she and Gawain have not…" asking with an astonished expression "NOOOOOOOO…. she cannot be… uncle will kill him…then her."

"Yes I have heard from Bors that your uncle does not think a knight is fit for his daughter." She said walking away

Making her way back to the knight's quarters her mind flopped from one thing to another, the news of wounded and fallen knights to the prospect of Helena being with child. Making her way down the long corridor she had to stop and catch her breath.

"Please" she thought, closing her eyes she prayed to whoever would listen, "please do not take him from me." Wiping the tears that trickled down her cheeks she took a deep breath and made her way.

Entering the room she quietly closed the door behind her. Placing the basket on the table she looked over toward her bed. Helena lay curled up upon the furs.

"Still not feeling well cousin?" she asked quietly

"No I say not, I am afraid." She whispered

"I heard you this morning again, being ill." Lorna continued "I found some ginger root to make you a tea."

Making her way to the fire she pushed the kettle in to heat some water for tea. Moving toward the bed's edge she sat down stroking her cousin's long hair.

"Helena, I must ask you something. Have you and Gawain…. you know… has he.. well…. known you.. have you.. um…the two of you..UGH.. Helena has Gawain bed with you?"

There was a silence in the room before Lorna could hear the soft muffled sound of tears. Helena rolled on her stomach buried her face, shaking it in acknowledgment to the question. After a few moments she curled next to her cousin placing her arm around her holding Helena close. Lorna's cheek was upon Helena's when she whispered:

"Helena… when was your last bleed?" she asked quietly as though whispering would somehow make it not so

Turning to face her cousin Helena moved looking at Lorna eye to eye as tears fell.

"Helena…"

"Near four moons past now" She whispered so low Lorna could barely hear her

Taking Lorna's hand she placed it on her belly where there could be felt a distinct bump.

"What am I to do? I am so frightened. You know my father's feelings. He will disown me, shame me Lorna. What have I done? What of Gawain, what will he do…what will he say?" she burst into tears

"There Helena…." she hugged her not knowing what to say really, wondering should she tell her of the news she just learned

"What am I to do Lorna?" she whimpered

"You will marry that is what you will do!" she said sternly

"Lorna, he has never utter a word that he loves me."

"That matters not; he will do the honorable thing! Tristan will make him!" I shall see to it."

"Lorna stop, you know this is rubbish you speak." She said as she sat up

"He loves you. I have seen him look at you, the way he smiles at you. He loves you Helena and he will be joyed that you carry his child within you." she said

"I am not the only one who makes him smile Lorna." she said looking down "There is another, from the tavern who has eyes for him. I have seen them together."

"The red haired girl from the tavern you spoke of before" she laughed "Oh Helena, you cannot be serious. Gawain would never take someone like that for a wife. As sad as it maybe truth is you know when a man looks for a wife it is not with one who has been with everyman in the countryside."

"Lorna..." she whispered

"Is that why you bed with him? Because of her?" Lorna asked sternly

"Yes" she whispered shamefully

"Do you love Gawain?"

"Yes I dare say I do." pressing her lips together "More than I thought at first, and now too much I fear."

There was silence between the two girls as they sat on the bed holding hands. Lorna was sure that she should tell Helena of the news she just only heard.

"Helena…. there is news… the knights make their way back." taking Helena by the hand "There was a battle…and some were wounded….and …and some killed."

Helena looked into her eyes. They hugged one another in a tight hold.

"There is no news as to who was wounded or killed….. I am afraid … what if it is Tristan…." she said bittingher lower lip

"No… no fear not... it is not he…he has too much to come back to now Lorna... he has you cousin." She smiled

"I am sure Gawain is not harmed either." She said with a smile as she wiped the tears from Helena's cheek "I am certain they are both well. Come I will make you some tea."

Placing her hand on Helena's bump she giggled then hugged her cousin's neck tightly.

"A baby… I think it is wonderful… perhaps soon Tristan and I will have a child and they can grow up as we did." Taking Helena's face in her hands "A wee baby, how grand, it will be a beautiful baby with parents as you two."

Jumping up Lorna headed to the kettle to make tea.

To be continued….