Elsa held her skirts in one hand as she rushed through the camp. It was the afternoon after Anna had left, and Elsa had been sitting in Pabbies study, trying and failing to keep herself from worrying. A small flurry had filled the room, snow fell around her, melting before it had a chance to reach the floor.
Kristoff had knocked once, to be polite, before opening the door. He let out a snort when he saw the snow, "redecorating?" He had teased, causing Elsa to flush with embarrassment and banish the flurry with a wave of her hand. "A group has been spotted approaching the camp, they don't appear to be armed. A few of the scouts think they may be members of the castle staff," the words had barely left his mouth before Elsa had rushed past him.
Now she stood before the crystalline gates of ice, gasping for breath. A small crowd had gathered to see what the commotion was all about as a few guards flanked their queen. With a slight flick of her wrist, the gate began to raise, allowing the group to steadily enter the camp.
The first few stumbled their way inside, quickly being greeted by family or friends. Elsa recognized most of them as members of the castle's staff. Maids and cooks, butlers and stable hands. Yet she could not call to mind any of their names. Elsa chastised herself mentally, making a note to learn their names. These were the people who had risked everything to speak up for her, learning who they were was the least she could do.
Elsa rung her hands together worriedly as she watched. No one seemed to notice the worries queen, that was until Gerda and Kai made their way through the gate. The pair spotted her right away and rushed over to her, propriety be damned. Elsa visibly relaxed when she saw them running towards her, they had been her lifeline after her parents had passed. She could see that Gerda was crying, and Kai was doing his best not to, such was the joy they both felt seeing their queen alive and well. Gerda forgot herself, if only for a moment, and opened her arms to pull Elsa into an embrace, but quickly pulled her arms back.
Elsa smiled fondly and gently wrapped her arms around the older woman, causing her to choke out a joyous sob and hold the queen close.
Elsa managed to pull herself away to ask, "how did you all get out?"
"Sir Marshal," the older woman beamed, "such a brave and selfless knight." Behind her, Kai cleared his throat and looked at Gerda expectedly. Gerda groaned, "and that brute of an assassin helped him."
"She did?" Elsa pulled her hands to her chest, "did she make it back?"
"Unfortunately," Gerda huffed.
Kai let out a small chuckle and gave Elsa a knowing smile, "Sir Marshal is escorting her back, making sure she doesn't try to run. I heard him saying that her fate is up to you."
Elsa frowned at his words but said no more as she moved past them, trying to keep calm. She could feel everyone's eyes boring into her, watching her, judging her. The quiet murmur of her name. All of that faded away to simple background noise when she finally spotted Anna. Evidently the younger woman had seen the queen first as she tried to hide behind Marshal, who simply turned on his heel and marched away, leaving Anna to face the queen alone.
Elsa allowed herself to silently assess Anna. The assassin looked battered and bruised, and one eye was crusted shut with dried blood. For sure, Anna had looked better, but she had also looked far worse. She was alive, and Elsa allowed herself a moment to savour that fact before her face fell to an expression of cool anger. Elsa stalked up to Anna, ice blooming from every step. She could see that Anna was trying to form words. Excuses nor apologies, Elsa would have none of it.
She stopped just feet away from Anna, raised a hand, and struck her across the face. The sound of the slap echoed loud off of the walls of the camp and already a slender handprint burned brightly on Anna's cheek. Anna stared blankly at Elsa, jaw slack and brought a hand to her face.
Elsa huffed out a breath and clenched her hands into fists at her sides. Her whole body trembled as she spoke, "you idiot." Elsa's voice shook almost as much as her body and she struggled to keep it from becoming shrill, "you damned idiot," her throat felt tight, relief and anger boiled together and she refused to breakdown, not here, "what were you thinking?"
Anna looked away, unable to hold Elsa's gaze, still gently rubbing at her stinging cheek, "I wasn't," she mumbled, "I wasn't thinking. I was scared that I had tossed away the one good thing I had and I just... I didn't want you to only remember me for what I tried to do," she closed to good eye, "I don't think I could live with you hating me."
Anna let out a small gasp of surprise when Elsa wrapped her slender arms around her. Elsa pulled Anna close, tucking her head under her chin, "I don't hate you, Anna. I'm hurt, and still angry, but I don't hate you," she let out a small chuckle, "I tried, it would be easier, but you are very hard to hate."
Anna choked out a barely restrained sob, "try telling that to your maid," she tried to joke lamely.
Elsa laughed all the same as she stepped back. With a featherlight touch, Elsa ran her thumb along the clotted gash, "you're hurt," she commented blandly.
Anna grinned sheepishly, "you should see the other guy," when Elsa failed to laugh, Anna's grin faltered, "I'm fine, Elsa, really," she assured the queen.
Elsa pursed her lips, "fine or no, it needs to be cleaned, and we," she forced herself to turn away from Anna, "we need to have a talk." She left no room for argument as she turned and began making her way back to the village. She only checked over her shoulder twice to ensure that Anna was following. Each time Anna quickly looked to the ground, as if she were a scolded child.
The streets of the village were deserted, many of the villagers having gone to the camp to offer their assistance. It made the trip to the mansion simple. No one stopped the two leaders, barely even glanced their way.
They quickly discovered that they ad the mansion all to themselves. A fact that, mere days before would have had the two women giddy with the promise of no interruption, but instead left them both feeling odd and put out.
Elsa lead Anna up to the study. She pulled open the curtains, letting in as much of the afternoon light as possible before dragging a chair to the centre of the room, "sit," she ordered.
Anna sat quickly, keeping her eyes away from Elsa. She fidgeted nervously while Elsa milled about, searching the studies various cabinets for rags and medical supplies. "Elsa, I-"
"After, Anna," Elsa said evenly as she pulled up another chair. She left Anna alone as she went down to the kitchen to fetch a small basin of water. The water collected, warmed pleasantly by the heated ground of the village, Elsa took her seat across from Anna. She dipped a rag into the water, wringing it out before she began to gently wash the dried blood away from the wound. She thought back to the last time she had been in this position, cleaning a wound that Anna had got for her sake, that drunken night before Annas plot to kill her. That thought caused a painful clench of her heart, so he pushed it away to focus on the task at hand.
With the blood washed away, Elsa was able to get a much clearer view of the wound. It wasn't overly deep, but deep enough that the skin on either side had not been able to pull itself together. She bit her lip lightly. Proper healing would require stitches, a practice that Elsa would not be able to perform. She hummed in thought before nodding to herself before lightly running a finger down along the wound. Frost bloomed out from the tip of her finger, knitting the edges together in a small pattern of snowflakes.
A shiver ran down Anna's spine as the queen worked her magic. She ran a curious finger over the frost, marveling at it, "it doesn't even hurt," she whispered in awe.
"It will probably still scar," Elsa said as she washed her hands, "but atleast you wont have a gash in your face."
A heavy silence fell over the study, neither woman wanting to break it with the questions that needed to be asked. Finally, Elsa had enough. Clutching at the now empty basin, she looked Anna in the eyes, all of her hurt swirling in her own and asked, "Why?"
Why. It was all Elsa needed to say. That one simple word held so much swallowed hard and tucked a strand of hair that wasn't there behind her ear. "They threatened me, promised to take away everything. I've lost everything before and I was afraid to do so again." Elsa looked at her expectantly. That simple explanation wasn't going to fly, wasn't going to close the chasm Anna had opened between them. So Anna opened up and told her everything. She told of watching her home burn, of hearing the screams. Anna spoke quietly of watching her birth parents die, leaving her alone to die in the snow. She spoke of every hardship that life had thrown at her to try and tear her down and how she had tried to smile like her mother would have wanted.
At some point, Anna began to cry and Elsa wanted nothing more than to wrap the younger woman in a loving embrace, to shush her sobs and kiss her head, but she held back. Elsa stayed her her place, leaning against the windowsill, arms wrapped around her middle until Anna had calmed. "You were afraid," she summed up quietly, "backed into a corner and forced to choose."
"The lives of hundreds for the life of one," Anna echoed, wiping at her eyes, "but I chose one. I chose you, Elsa," she looked at Elsa, eyes pleading as she stood, "I never wanted to hurt you."
Elsa hugged herself tighter, "I believe you, Anna."
Hearing those words, Anna all but leapt from her seat and to pull Elsa close, Only to have her step just out of Anna reach, a chill filling the room. Anna's arms fell to her sides, fresh tears welling up in her eyes.
Elsa looked away to hide her own tears, "I do believe you, but-"
"But you don't trust me," Anna finished for her, her voice faltering. "What else can I do, Elsa? I helped your people, risked my life to save them. What more can I do? Just say the word and I'll do it!" she clasped her hands above her heart, "Anything."
"What if there is nothing," Elsa asked solemnly, "I trusted you, Anna, it took me long enough to give you that. You broke that trust," with that, Elsa turned and fed from the study, "whither we move past that is my choice, and mine alone."
That night, Anna ate in the dining room with Kristoff, Sven and Bulda. Bulda scolded her almost the whole meal for how reckless she had been, but her words fell on deaf ears and meal that had been prepared went mostly uneaten. Anna pushed the food around her plate, absently touching the frost bandage. Elsa did not join them for supper, nor did she accompany them to the town square for Anna's informal inauguration as Grandmaster.
It was a small event, one that Anna had never wanted. Most of the town gathered as Bulda read aloud from an ancient scroll. The words were from a language so old that their meaning had been lost to time, but tradition was hard to kick. She was gifted a new sword, a fanciful thing with the guard crafted into wings, a symbol of her new office. One by one, the remaining assassin, both full fledged, and the uninitiated like Kristoff, pledgd their blades to her will and word. There few applesauce as Anna was quick to silence away.
She wished that Elsa had been there, maybe then she could have stood proud of her new mantle, instead of feeling the weight of her failures.
The moon was high when Anna finally returned to the mansion. She felt exhausted and was quick to change into her night clothes. She was just about to blow out her candle when a timid knock startled her. She opened the door and was surprised to see Elsa standing there, fiddling with her fingers. "Elsa? Is everything alright?"
Elsa drew a steadying breath, "I don't think I can trust you, not like I did," She raised her gaze so that icy blue eyes met teal, "but I've been thinking and, I want to. I want to trust you, Anna.I want things to go back to how they were," her voice was quiet, like she expected Anna to push her away like Elsa had done to her.
"Does this mean I get to hold you?" Anna asked, opening her arms hopefuly.
Elsa wasted no time running into Anna embrace. It hadn't been long, but Elsa couldn't deny how much she had missed the redhead. She nuzzled her head into the comforting crook of Anna's neck, breathing in her scent. "I'm sorry, for what I said. I didn't mean it. You aren't a monster, Anna."
Anna shook her head, "no, you were right. I am a monster. But I'm the kind that wants to get better, that wants to win the heart of the maiden fair."
Elsa couldn't help but smile, "well you've already done one of those," she tugged at Anna's hand, "Let's go to bed."
For the first time in nearly a week, the two slept peacefully and calmly, safe and warm in eachothers arms.