Ch 26: Enter the Ophis and Valkyrie
Julian
"...Ow. Soap, stings..."
Void like pupils sullenly glare at my own-an act somewhat diminished in threat by the owner of said eyes being covered in enough suds to pass for a citrus scented snowman-as I bite back on a sigh.
This wasn't how I saw today going.
It had started off well enough, setting aside the initial sickness and unpleasantness of my journey to Asgard. I'd met up with Rossweisse, gotten her interested enough to visit my home and meet everyone else, scared the shit out of a bunch partygoers...and then things went downhill real quick.
First the borderline insanity that resulted from retracing my steps through whatever lovecraftian highway Kalmiya and Valerie cobbled together-which didn't bother Rossweisse at all, for whatever damn reason-that allowed me to sneak into Asgard.
...the sensation of having interdimensional whatevers looking at you like you're lunch is NOT something I enjoyed, surprise surprise.
Then there was the general nausea and vomiting that resulted from finally making it back unmolested (hopefully not literally, Cthulu nightmares tend to have lots of tentacles) and making a mess of my front yard…
And then Ophis showed up.
Guess that existential dread of being watched wasn't just a result of void-induced paranoia.
...The icing on this 'wish I'd just stayed in bed' sorta day was when I then barfed all over the damn Ouroboros.
I'd pretty much figured that was the signature on our death warrants but, in what is either a stroke of inspiration or madness, Kalmiya suggested I give Ophis a bath as a form of apology.
Hence, the current ridiculousness.
"...Why does, soap sting?"
"Because you're not supposed to get it in your eyes-"
She curiously licks one of the suds, making a sour face as she does so.
"-or eat it. And aren't you some super powerful force of existence? Why does soap even hurt you in the first place?"
The super scary dragon in disguise doesn't reply other than to look displeased, prompting me to quickly resume massaging her scalp, an action that seems to mollify the Ouroboros as she once more becomes compliant.
...You know, in any other situation I'd be all hot under the collar, what with Ophis being the textbook definition of young beauty, never mind the fact that we're both naked and I'm scrubbing her body down...but I'm a little bit worried that she might just go ahead and slaughter us all, so, you know.
Soft and flaccid is the order of the day.
"Mind answering a question of mine?"
She doesn't bother replying until I start gently scraping behind her pointed ears, spine briefly arching before she once more relaxes and neutrally replies, "Ask."
"Why did you chase me all the way here? I'm not anyone special."
Please buy the blatant lie and leave, please buy the blatant lie and leave…
"You are, different. Soul not from, here."
Dammit.
"And many powerful, allies gathered. Helpful in making, stupid Red leave..."
Oh wonderful, we're getting drawn into that marital dispute way ahead of schedule.
I'd figured Ophis would come knocking sooner or later-seeing as how we're going around and fucking up the Khaos Brigade-but I'd been relying on the fact that Rossweisse would be able to come up with some sort of workaround for her inevitable appearance...or that we would be at an appropriate level of 'OP plz nerf' by that point. I mean, the Valkyrie did devise a method to seal away Trihexa…
"Soooo...I'm not sure I want to go ahead and just do what you're asking, no questions asked."
Ok, time to play bold. Ophis was clueless enough to get her power ripped away from her in canon, she'll be amenable enough to striking up a bargain.
Hopefully.
As predicted her eyes narrow, tone dangerously bland as she states, "I can make, you."
"But would that get you what you want?"
She remains silent and I hope that it means she's curious and not just allowing me to dig myself a deeper hole.
"What do you, mean?"
She rotates to face me from where she's seated on the edge of the bath, tone mildly curious as I make a conscious effort not to blatantly stare at her nude body and give my lower half any ideas.
I'm gonna need every drop of blood I have in my body running my brain. Sorry, penis, but you're gonna have to sit this one out.
"Well you said it yourself. We're all super powerful here and we're only gonna get stronger. Way stronger. If we just start helping you now and disrupt our schedule, we'll never get to that level. It'd be smarter if we keep doing our own thing and help you later."
To my relief she seems to consider my proposal, mulling it over and staying silent for almost a minute-
"No. Many, powerful people. You will suffice as, you are now."
-fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Ok, ok, I can do this! C'mon, Julian...think!
…
Shit, I can't think of anything! What the Hell do I have to offer this zen craving midget of a...Dragon…
…
EUREKA!
"Ophis, if I could give you this 'silence' you crave without fighting Great Red...would you be willing to stop gathering allies and not, you know...demand that we fight and die in a battle that would be like puppies charging against an industrial shredder?"
Her pointed ears lightly twitch in consideration-so fucking cute-before she slowly dips her head in acceptance.
"Show, me."
"...Would you be willing to wait 24 hours?"
Another narrowed glare and I rapidly add, "If it doesn't work I promise we'll help you! Please don't eat me!"
"...Fine. Begin your, work."
I don't bother waiting around and sprint out of the bathroom, not wanting to give the Ouroboros time to change her mind.
Time to beat the deadline!
Literally.
"Rossweisse, I know I said I'd give you time to acclimate and just to introduce you to everybody today...but I kinda need your help. Badly."
While I would normally exult in the way she blushes and gapes at my toned body-I'd paused only long enough to throw on a pair of pants before running downstairs-right now is business.
"Is this about the Ouroboros Dragon?"
"A-are we going to die?!"
I wryly reply to Gasper's frightened question, "Maybe. Hopefully not though. Rossweisse, do you know any sort of noise-canceling spells that are really high quality and long lasting?"
While she's clearly trying to find her balance with the suddenness of the situation the Valkyrie nonetheless replies, "Yes, actually. Why?"
I could SO kiss her right now.
Maybe later. Hopefully later.
Instead I run to the computer in what passes as an office in this place, quickly hopping on to Google and with a few quick searches…
"Gotcha! Do you think you guys can do this?"
I point to the screen as the animate carpenter saw, nail gun and level lean forward, as if they had eyes and were trying to get a closer look.
I'd called for these guys and have my fingers crossed that they can pull it off.
"Julian? Should we prepare for a fight or-"
"Forget it, the Ouroboros is still out of our league. However..."
To my utmost relief the tools straighten themselves and give Human looking nods, quickly hopping off the desk and running onward to begin their work.
"We might be able to save ourselves with this."
I grin as my Peerage, plus Rossweisse, stare at me with no shortage of bewilderment.
"We're going to build Ophis a super anechoic chamber."
"Well, Ophis...here you are."
The Ouroboros just cocks her head at the hasty and last minute addition to our house, an unassuming and rather plain door that leads to her personal slice of silencio.
...Please work.
"You got it all set up, right?"
Rossweisse looks pretty exhausted-no doubt a result of hours of intensive spellcraft-but the grin she gives is oddly happy.
"I did...and strangely enough, it was kind of fun! I never knew working under pressure could be so...exhilarating. Normal school deadlines don't really cut it."
Isla gives her an odd stare, asking, "Adrenaline junkie? We already have a battle junkie and Julian is mentally insane, we don't need more crazy people..."
"N-no! I just like a good challenge!"
Thoroughly ignoring us Ophis walks inside the shadowed room, allowing us to shut the door behind her as Rossweisse quietly activates the various seals and circles emblazoned across the thing.
And then silence falls over the group, funnily enough.
"Soooo...what now?"
"Well either this works and we just took a huge chunk of the Khaos Brigades power from them in all of 24 hours...or it doesn't and we probably die or are enslaved."
Kalmiya stares at me with a resigned expression, stating, "You have a way with motivational speeches."
"Sorry, I got nothing for this one."
Time passes…
And then some more.
And a bit extra.
"...Did...did it work?"
I glance back at Gasper, Valian raising an immaculate eyebrow before musing, "Well, we've been sitting out here for almost half-an-hour, sooo...we did it?"
We all share a glance-
-before collectively releasing a sigh of relief and collapsing against the nearest wall or bit of furniture.
"Holy crap that was close..."
My Queen can only shake her head at me, voice equal parts exasperated and fond as she says, "Only you, Julian...only you."
"Hey it's not like I meant to drag the Ouroboros Dragon home with me!"
Valerie tilts her head, archly asking, "Just like it wasn't your intention to have that Grootslang chase after us?"
"Oh sure, bring up the truth."
"Wait, you all fought a Grootslang before?!"
Rossweisse's shocked cry coincides with a look of utter bemusement from Kalmiya, seeing as how she wasn't there for that little adventure.
Letting my head bounce against the wall I roll my eyes before asking, "Why don't we take this someplace other than the hallway? If you're all going to insist on roasting me, I'd like to at least suffer through it in comfort. And we still need to properly introduce Rossweisse. While insanity does tend to follow us, we do also have the occasional moment of relaxation."
A round of weary nods from all present as we head into the living room, me following a suite even as I give the plain and unmarked door another glance.
Still no sign of Ophis.
...Well, looks like I dodged that bullet.