So I know you guys are dying to know what Johan was thinking when he found out what Judai's been up to…so I guess it's time to start chapter 26 lol
Johan's POV
Songs: Far Away by Nickelback
Never Gonna Leave This Bed by Maroon 5 (one of my favorites)
I should have wanted to shove Haou through a wall.
I should have wanted to wring his neck.
I should have shown some emotion to tell Judai that I still felt something for him.
But here are the key words: should have.
At first I was hurt. But then I slowly slipped into the state I was when I had run back home. Now I honestly had no idea what I felt. I didn't even feel numb. It was like my soul was ripped out of me.
I didn't sleep that night. Or the next. And the weird thing was…I wasn't tired. I mean, I don't think I was. You know, being soulless and all, it was hard to tell.
It was Friday and I considered skipping the talent show. I couldn't go like this. Music is all about emotion (it's even in Webster's definition of music. Look it up). And since I didn't have any, I thought maybe it'd be best to cancel.
But then I thought about what the characters would do in all of my favorite books. They all faked their emotion when they were upset. So why couldn't I fake my own emotions?
I picked up my guitar and my iPod. I pressed the record button so I could have an idea of what I sounded like.
I began strumming the chords, which came easily to me. The notes held their own passion which gave me an advantage.
I closed my eyes and concentrated on what I was supposed to be feeling.
The slow and steady notes told me that the song was sad. But with the aggression of the pick hitting the strings told me that the song had a bit of anger in it as well.
Clearing my throat and began to sing the words, doing my best to match the music's feelings. And I almost wanted to smile but the song prevented me from doing so.
It was actually a little fun.
I didn't feel so empty anymore. I felt something. I mean, I'm not saying that these are good feelings but it was better than feeling absolutely nothing.
But when the song ended, the feeling passed and I was back to being soulless.
I stopped recording and replayed it. And to my surprise, it wasn't half bad.
Satisfied, I deleted the recording and hopped onto my bike and drove to the cemetery.
I wanted to see Yusei before the talent show.
I tried to pretend to feel again like I did recently. But it was hard to do without the notes telling me what to feel.
"Hey, Yusei," I heard. It sounded like a prepubescent teenage boy. It took me a minute to figure out it came from me. The sound was completely foreign to me.
The chilly snow that still lay sprinkled on the grass suddenly got colder, forcing me to shiver slightly and a cold breeze whipped particles of snow into my nose making me sneeze.
I was getting used to Yusei's silent messages.
"Nothing's wrong," I tried to say. But before I could even finish my sentence, my nose tickled making me sneeze again.
"If I get sick," I said, "I'm blaming you."
It was quiet. Pure silence and I knew he was waiting for me to explain.
With a sigh, I decided he the only way he'd stop was if I told him.
"Well, you know Judai and I have been in an…argument if you will," I said, not sure what else to call it. "But I thought things were getting better, you know? But a couple of days ago, Judai came to see me. He told me that something happened with someone else. His name was Haou."
I felt heat seeping through the back of my jacket, wrapping around my shoulders. Almost as if he were hugging me. And then I felt a warm breeze flow through my hair and I smiled.
Yusei used to run his hands through my hair when I was upset.
"They kissed a little and you and I both know where kisses can lead." I laughed bitterly. "He told me that nothing happened but it still hurts. He said that he needed time to process everything after I came back. But since when is sex involved in that?"
I sighed again pinched the bridge of my nose.
"But when I actually take a breath and think about it, it's not like he was cheating or anything. Maybe he decided that he didn't want me. But if he didn't want me why would he stop and why would he tell me? I'm so lost."
I groaned and rubbed my temples.
"This wasn't the reason I came to see you," I said. "I just wanted to say hi before I went to the talent show. It starts in a little over an hour so I should probably head back."
I put my hand on the tombstone, feeling his energy entering my body. Goose bumps spread all over my body even though I could still feel his warmth wrapped around me.
"I love you," I said as I stood up.
Yusei's warmth moved up to my cheek, kissing me before I went back to my bike.
I started the engine and rode back to the Academy. I got there with ten minutes to spare.
Grabbing my guitar, I rushed over to the auditorium. Over half of the seats were taken and people were still piling in.
Alice and the other faculty members were messing around with the microphone, trying to make it work while others put up banners and tested out different colored spotlights.
I went up to help Alice with the microphone. The package said it was indestructible but somehow it managed to get itself destroyed.
So I ran down to Alice's room to grab another, just in time for the hosts to come on stage.
After about twenty minutes, Judai and I were called into the back room, to get ready. Judai was up next and I came on right after him.
We didn't say anything to each other and I couldn't tell if I was relieved or disappointed.
After tone deaf Charlotte Usher was done singing Kelly Clarkson-God help us all-Judai was up.
He tripped over one of the wires and hissed in pain before I caught him. He rubbed his injured knee as he stood up straight.
"Is it ok?" I asked lightly.
He nodded.
"Are you wearing your brace?"
He nodded once more and limped onto the stage.
I looked over to Alice. "Can you get him a chair?"
She smiled and nodded.
Reaching behind, she grabbed the metal chair and set it behind Judai and helped him lower the microphone.
As the intro started, Judai looked at me with those big chocolate brown eyes. He looked like he was about to cry and I couldn't help but look back at him, mirroring his apologetic expression.
"This time, this place
Misused mistakes.
Too long, too late,
Who was I to make you wait?
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left.
'Cause you know,
You know, you know"
"That I love you!
I've loved you all along.
And I miss you,
Been far away for far too long."
"I keep dreaming you'll be with me,
And you'll never go.
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore."
I stared at him in awe. His voice was so beautiful, filled with so much guilt, it took everything in me not to run on stage and wrap my arms around him. Even if I was still hurt from what he did, his voice was so mesmerizing. It made me feel everything he felt.
"On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance.
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of Hell to hold your hand.
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything, but I won't give up!
'Cause you know
You know, you know"
"That I love you!
I've loved you all along.
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long."
"I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'll never go!
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore."
"So far away…
Been far away for far too long
So far away…
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know"
"I wanted
I wanted you to stay.
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say,
That I love you
I've loved you all along!
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long!"
"So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore!
Believe it
Hold onto me and never let me go.
Keep breathing
Hold onto me and never let me go.
Keep breathing
Hold onto me and never let me go…"
The song ended and Judai looked back at me but I was frozen in shock. I knew the song by Nickelback but he made the song original. The way he would squeeze his eyes shut when he said he'd stop breathing if he never saw me again. The way he squeezed the collar of his shirt when he said he needed to hear me say that I forgave him and that I loved him. And I didn't miss the fallen tear either.
He stood up from his chair and walked carefully down the stairs and squeezed through the crowd, heading for the door.
I hurried out and sat down, readying my guitar.
Judai was still heading toward the door.
Like I said before, I was still upset and I definitely wasn't going to forgive without a really good explanation. But there was no way in hell I'd let him walk out that door.
The song that I planned on singing was thrown to the curb and I decided to free-write. There was no song I knew that expressed what I was feeling this very moment so I thought to hell with it. I'll figure it all out along the way.
I began stroking the strings in a rhythm that got everyone bobbing there heads but Judai didn't stop. But when I began to sing, he hesitated.
"You push me.
I don't have the strength to
Resist or control you.
Take me down, take me down."
Judai's head turned and he watched me as I continued the song.
"You hurt me.
But do I deserve this?
You make me so nervous.
Calm me down, calm me down."
I saw Judai lower his gaze down to his hands before he turned around and headed for the door. So I decided to hurry up and get to the point.
"Wake you up
In the middle of the night to say
I will never walk away again!
I'm never gonna leave this bed."
Judai stopped then and turned again, but this time I made sure to lock my gaze with his and smiled at him. He wasn't leaving anytime soon, I'd made sure of that.
"So come here
And never leave this place.
Perfection of your face
Slows me down, slows me down!"
"So fall down,
I need you to trust me.
Go easy, don't rush me.
Help me out, why don't you help me out?"
"Wake you up
In the middle of the night to say
I will never walk away again!
I'm never gonna leave this bed."
"So you say, 'Go, it isn't working,'
And I say, 'No, it isn't perfect,'
So I stay instead
I'm never gonna leave this bed."
"Take it, take it all
Take all that I have.
I'd give it all away just to get you back."
"And fake it, fake it all,
I'll take what I can get."
"Knockin' so loud,
Can you hear me yet?
Try to stay awake but you can't forget!"
"Wake you up
In the middle of the night to say
I will never walk away again!
I'm never gonna leave this bed."
"You say, 'Go, it isn't working,'
And I say, 'No, it isn't perfect,'
So I stay instead.
I'm never gonna leave this bed."
"Take it, take it all,
Take all that I have.
Take it, take it all,
Take all that I have.
Take it, take it all,
Take all that I have…"
When I finished the song, people clapped and whistled but I wasn't paying attention to them.
I had all but run off the stage and was squeezing through the crowd, desperately trying to get to Judai, who was still standing there wide-eyed, jaw slightly ajar.
When I finally reached him, I grabbed his wrist and dragged him with me outside into the hallway.
Finally we were able to breathe something other than girls' perfume and sweat from the guys.
I turned to Judai and opened my mouth to say something but before I could he said,
"I really do need to hear you say it."
I bent down so our foreheads were touching and traced his jaw with the tips of my calloused fingertips. "I love you."
The tears that were hiding behind his eyes fell as I pressed my lips softly against his.
"I love you too," he mumbled against my lips.
"I know."
We pulled apart, but stayed close to one another.
"You wanna get out of here?" I asked.
Judai nodded with a smile.
I walked down the hallway for a minute before I realized that Judai was walking slower behind me and I felt a little guilty. I kept forgetting about his knee so I waited for him to catch up before I scooped him up in my arms bridal style.
"C'mon, Slowpoke," I joked as I walked down the hall.
Judai giggled as he nestled his head on my shoulder.
When we reached my dorm, I set him down gently on my bed.
I sat down next to him and took a deep breath. We had our fun and now it was time to be serious.
"We need to talk."
Alright! It was fun to actually write the lyrics of the song for once lol
Chapter 26-Check
Seven days till chapter 27! :)
Review plz!
l
l
v