Bustman: Hey guys, I'm back with my quickest update since… well, ever, I think. I did feel bad, as I acknowledge that there was not a whole lot going on in the last chapter. So I tried to pack this considerably longer chapter with drama, comedy, romance, and awesomeness. Remember, I don't own anything. Enjoy, and please review!

"I can't believe you made me leave early. I was totally going to hook up with that chick."

"Hook up with that chick?" Fox snorted. "You mean the one who thought you were a parrot?"

"And wanted to adopt you?" Sonic chimed in. Falco turned red under his feathers.

"Shut up! She was into me, okay?"

"Into tropical birds, maybe." Samurai Goroh scoffed. Mario chuckled as Falco gave the samurai the evil eye. The five smashers were walking back from the party, which had just ended. The bus had left without them, so the five were forced to trek back to the mansion. The moon hung suspended over them as they walked through the cold, night air. Light from streetlamps illuminated the road, but all of the buildings and stores around them were dark. Mario checked his watch. It read 11:32.

"You have a curfew?"

Mario looked up to see Fox walking beside him. His tone did not seem to mock Mario, only show genuine interest. Mario sighed.

"Peachie likes me home earlier than this. Gets worried about me if I'm out to late."

Fox nodded sympathetically as the group turned onto a smaller road. "I know what you mean. Krystal always thinks I've been kidnapped or gone out to fight in some epic battle when I'm out late, y'know?" Fox chuckled. "People generally assume that heroes are doing something more life-threatening then going to a party."

"Believe me, I know what you mean." Mario said dryly, as they arrived at the gate leading into the mansion's property. "Once I was out past ten in the Mushroom Kingdom, and they sent a search party out looking for me. Also sent a rescue team over to Bowser's Castle. Turns out, all I was doing was helping a friend move… furniture…" Mario stopped cold in his tracks. Fox frowned and turned to his friend.

"Mario?"

"I'm dead." The plumber said in a small voice. Fox shook his head.

"No, you're just immobile."

"I mean I'm going to be dead once we enter the doors of that mansion." Mario huffed.

"Oh. Well then you should of said 'Imma be dead'." Fox shrugged. Mario arched an eyebrow.

"I'mma be?"

"No you aren't. You're a plumber."

"Hey, slowpokes!" Sonic called from ahead. "You coming or what?"

"Yeah, hold on a sec." Mario called back. He shoved his hands into his sweater pockets and began to walk. Fox followed him.

"So why are you going to be dead?"

"Because I'm an idiot," Mario mumbled. "I missed an appointment that was important to Peach."

Fox scratched his chin. "An appointment?"

"Yes, an appointment. I was supposed to go shop for furniture."

"I thought you were moving furniture." Fox replied. Mario rolled his eyes.

"That was a story!"

"You mean you were lying to me?"

"No!" Mario threw his hands up into the air. "That was in the story."

"Oh. So if it was in the story, why is Peach going to be angry at you?"

"No, the other thing! The other thing was in the story, this thing is in reality." Mario said through his teeth. Fox furrowed his eyebrows.

"Wait, is there a difference?"

"Look, the bottom line is, I missed a big appointment that Peach is going to kill me for." Mario sighed. "We've already had to reschedule twice."

"Well, if it's rescheduled, what's the problem?"

"Forget it." Mario muttered, as the group of five walked up to the mansion. Samurai Goroh walked up to the door, but did a double-take and backtracked. He looked into the window next to the door, and started grinning. He turned to Mario.

"Hey lover boy, Peach is in the kitchen. And she don't look too happy."

Mario gulped. "How 'not happy'?"

"She's twirling a knife in her hands." Sonic said casually, as he, Samurai Goroh, and Falco walked into the mansion. Mario groaned. Fox patted him on the back.

"Good luck."

"Thanks." Mario murmured, as Fox entered the mansion as well. He stood outside for a couple of minutes, as he heard words exchanged within the mansion. The exchange ended with Peach growling and footsteps running up the stairs. Mario erected his body, took a deep breath, and walked into the mansion.

The lights in the lounge were off. Directly connected to the lounge was the kitchen. Peach leaned against the kitchen doorway, looking coolly at Mario. Mario tried to meet her cold, blue gaze.

"Peach, hon, I can explain…"

"I'd like to hear your explanation." Peach said calmly. Mario nervously scratched his moustache.

"Can we talk in the kitchen?"

"Help yourself." Peach jerked her head toward the illuminated kitchen. Mario walked past her and sat down at the table. He took his cap off and ran his head through his ruffled brown hair. Peach took a seat across from him.

"So, you missed the appointment. For the third time."

"Hey, at least I'm consistent." Mario attempted the joke; Peach was not amused. He sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"Peach, sweetie, I just lost track of time…"

"Haven't heard that one before." Peach said flatly. Mario looked down guiltily.

"Peachie, it won't happen again."

"That's what you said the first time." Peach said calmly. "And the time after that."

Mario looked up pleadingly. "Please, honey, I—"

"This can't keep happening, Mario." Peach said, her face not betraying any emotion. "You can't keep forgetting, you can't keep blowing me off. Especially when this is something that we were doing for you."

"I know, and I feel terrible. I'm going to try to never let it happen again." Mario looked at her anxiously. "Okay?"

Peach met his gaze for a few seconds. There was silence in the mansion. Finally, Peach shook her head.

"It's not okay, Mario." She said softly. "I know that I've always been labeled the damsel in distress, the woman that can't fight for herself, but that's not the case. I'm a strong woman, Mario. And you need to be able to acknowledge that before you can treat me with the respect I deserve."

"I do acknowledge that, sweetiepie! And—" Mario began to respond.

"No you don't." Peach cut him off. "You can't expect that whenever you save me, it will make everything alright. Like I have no choice but to love the man who rescues me. Like I have some kind of obligation to you. Some kind of obligation to love you." Peach paused. "And I do love you, Mario. Not because you always rescue me, but because you understand me. You might not understand that, but you do understand me. You understand me more than anybody else in this mansion."

Mario looked up sadly at Peach. She met him with her strong, blue gaze. She took a breath and shut her eyes.

"So understand me when I say it's over, Mario. At least for now," she opened her eyes. "Please… don't take it to hard."

Mario's expression had become mixed with shock and sorrow. He blinked helplessly as Peach got up. She hesitated as she walked by him, but continued on. He listened as he heard her go up the staircase. The sound of her footsteps slowly faded away.

And then there was silence. Mario looked aimlessly at the wall, unsure of where to go from there.

"So what you're saying is that Donkey Kong would play King Kong, and Yoshi would play Godzilla."

"Well, Dr. Mario would have to find some way to make both of them ten times bigger."

"What studio would invest their money in this?"

"A smart one!" Marth retorted. Ike sighed in the background as Marth and Link argued over the movie prospects of a King Kong vs. Godzilla remake. Suddenly, Luigi turned a corner and walked into stride next to Ike.

"What are they doing?" he murmured, as the two swordsmen talked animatedly. Ike sighed.

"They saw King Kong vs. Godzilla on a sci-fi channel last night. Now they won't stop bickering about it."

"Boy," Luigi paused. "They're pretty bored, aren't they?"

"Yeah, suspension has pretty much gone to their heads." Ike grumbled. "And I've got to room with them."

"That's why I'm glad Kirby only knows eleven words." Luigi said, as the four smashers walked into the cafeteria. They picked up trays and walked over to the lunch line. "Anyhoo, you prepping for the Thanksgiving party?"

"Yeah. I feel bad that these clowns can't go." Ike indicated to Link and Marth, who were still arguing. Marth flung his arms up into the air while they waited on line, launching his bowl of oatmeal into the air. It landed on Bowser's head, and he proceeded to panic.

"I can't see! I can't see!" Bowser screamed, his eyes blinded by porridge. He began to run toward what he thought was the bathroom, but happened to be a wall. He crashed through the wall, still screaming, and ran off in the direction of the town. Marth failed to notice. Ike rolled his eyes.

"Actually, never mind. I feel no pity for either of them."

Luigi grinned as the four smashers took their trays and walked toward their usual table. Mario was sitting there, glumly rolling a grape around with a fork on the table. Ike and Luigi took seats on either sides of him, while Marth and Link sat across from them. Their argument had been paused by the scent of the waffles on their plates. They were now scarfing them down like madmen. Marth looked at his tray and raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, where's my oatmeal?"

"Mario, why don't you have any breakfast?" Luigi asked, ignoring Marth's question. Mario shrugged despondently.

"Not hungry."

"That doesn't sound like you," Luigi frowned. Mario looked down sadly and continued to roll around his grape, not responding to his brother's remark.

"Hey, where's Zelda?" Link frowned, looking up briefly from his food. Ike nodded toward the lunch line.

"Over there, talking to Peach," he said casually. Mario's eyes shot up at the sound of Peach's name. Rather than looking pleased, Luigi noticed, he looked panicked.

"Please don't sit here, please don't sit here…" Mario murmured.

"Hey, guys! Come sit over here!" Link waved jollily. Zelda and Peach, who were talking grimly under their breath, noticed Link. Peach saw Mario and immediately drew back; Zelda rolled her eyes, elbowed her, and walked over. Peach hesitantly followed.

"Hey, honey." Link said, as Zelda walked over to him. He paused as he noticed Peach hesitating at the table, looking for the furthest spot away from Mario. "Ike, don't be rude. Move over so Mario can sit next to his girlfriend."

Both Mario and Peach blushed. "No, Ike, it's alright, really…" Peach said, her face going red.

"No, no, sorry. I'm in the way." Ike scooted over a spot. Mario, Peach, and Zelda all looked appalled. Zelda tried to update Link.

"Link, honey, Peach and Mario—" she whispered under her breath. Link finished her sentence.

"Like sitting next to each other, I know." Link nodded at Mario, and then at Peach. "Don't worry, I got you guys covered."

Peach, unable to escape the impasse that had been created for her, pulled her dress up and took a seat. Mario and Peach looked away from each other shyly. Link didn't seem to notice.

"So, me and Marth are going to go see that action movie that's opening tomorrow. You guys in?"

"It's in 3D." Marth chimed in.

"Yeah, I'm not doing anything tomorrow." Luigi shrugged. Ike nodded in agreement, unable to speak as his mouth was full. Zelda smiled and took Link's hands in her own.

"Of course I'll come."

"Thanks, sweetie." Link smiled back. He wrapped his arms around Zelda and pulled her onto his lap. Marth looked away.

"And how about you guys?" Link looked over Zelda at Mario and Peach. "Can you two make it?"

Peach and Mario both blushed and looked away.

"I'm actually, doing laundry, that night…" Mario stuttered.

"Yes, yes, me too!" Peach nodded her head. "Thursday is always laundry night for me…"

Link raised an eyebrow. "The movie is on Friday. Today is Thursday."

Peach was at a loss for words. Mario desperately tried to cover them.

"Oh, Friday! Oh, well, we're both actually doing something that night…."

"Oh, I see." Link winked at Mario. "Having a special night together, eh?"

"No!" Mario shook his head vigorously. Peach was still at a loss for words. "No, it's not like that at all!"

"Alright, sure, Mario…" Link grinned. "We'll take you're word…"

"Yeah, we believe you." Marth chuckled.

"Just like we believe in monsters!" Luigi said, trying to get in on the joke. Suddenly, Bowser burst back into the cafeteria, the bowl of porridge still on his head. He swung his head around wildly, still blinded by the porridge.

"Monster!" Luigi screamed.

"Monster?" Bowser shouted, frightened. "Where?"

Panicked, the two smashers began to run in different directions. The bowl of porridge flew off Bowser's head and landed at Marth's feet. Marth looked down.

"That looks like my porridge." Marth frowned.

After breakfast, Mario and Peach both bolted in different directions from the table. Captain Falcon, whom Master Hand had forgotten to rehire, strolled in in a janitor's suit. He began to whistle as he swept up the oatmeal on the floor. When Link asked him what he was doing, he shrugged and cheerily responded "Any work is good work!"

Link, Zelda, Ike and Marth all walked out of the cafeteria. Link and Zelda quickly slipped their hands into each others; Marth walked slightly ahead of them. Ike, who walked next to Link, scratched his head.

"Peach and Mario were acting strange at breakfast, weren't they?"

"I noticed that too." Marth said, not looking over his shoulder. Zelda rolled her eyes.

"You guys are so slow."

"What do you mean?" Ike asked, puzzled. She sighed.

"They broke up last night."

Marth stopped in his tracks and turned around to stare at Link. They both exchanged a knowing look. Ike was still puzzled.

"What do you mean? Why?"

"I should have known," Link murmured. "Boy, I must have really looked like an idiot, eh?"

"That's no different from the ordinary, though." Marth shrugged. Link let go of Zelda's hand to playfully shove Marth.

"Guys, this is serious." Zelda said impatiently. The four smashers stopped in the lounge. Link set himself down in one of the plush chairs.

"I know, honey. I feel bad for them. But hey, maybe it's for the best."

"At least Mario can eat his carrot cakes unbothered now." Marth said, taking a seat next to Link. The two burst out laughing. Ike became more confused, utterly lost. Zelda sighed, not sitting down.

"It wouldn't hurt to have a little bit more sympathy."

Link, still grinning, shrugged. "I do empathize with Mario. Something similar happened to me a week ago." He mock glared at Zelda. She couldn't help but giggle. Marth looked down at his thumbs.

"Hey, guys, come look at this," Ike had walked over to the bulleting board and was now looking at a notice. Marth and Link got up and walked over, Zelda right behind them.

The three approached the chalkboard and quickly saw what Ike was looking at.

Basketball Tryouts

When: This Saturday

Where: The Gymnasium

Be there!

Link looked at Marth. "We going?"

Marth nodded. "Definitely."

"Hold on a sec, guys." Ike was still looking at the notice. He pointed at the bottom. "Look at this."

Any smashers under suspension (a.k.a. Link and Marth) will not be able to make the team. This is due to their prevention from leaving the mansion, which the team will be required to do to play games. Sorry for any inconvenience.

"What?" Link's jaw dropped. Zelda touched his shoulder.

"Link, you knew this suspension revoked many of your privileges…"

Link sighed and brushed her hand. "I suppose so…"

Marth was still staring at the bulletin board in shock. "I can't believe this."

Ike clamped his hand onto Marth's shoulder. "It'll be alright, man."

"No it won't!" Marth said childishly, spinning around. He looked desperately at Link. "How are we supposed to spend all this time now?"

Link shrugged, his arm wrapped around Zelda. "We'll find other things to do, man."

"Like what?" Marth demanded.

"If I may…" Crazy Hand floated up to the board. "I think I have a resolution to your problems."

Ike furrowed his eyebrows. "Where'd you come from?"

"Oh, I'm everywhere." Crazy Hand said cheerfully. "Even in your toiletry bag."

Link crinkled his nose. "Weird."

"Tell me about it." Crazy Hand nodded. Marth clucked his tongue.

"The resolution?" he asked impatiently.

"What resolution?" Crazy Hand stared at Marth blankly. "Oh, right, the resolution. Well, you may not know this, but I am a certified director of the arts."

"Seriously?" Link asked, eyebrows raised. Crazy Hand giggled.

"No, not seriously. But Mojo here watched The Making of Grease, so I figure he knows his stuff." He nodded toward his monkey, who was wearing a director's cap and sunglasses. The monkey took a cigar out and began to smoke it. Ike scratched his head.

"Wait, what does this have to do with anything?"

"The better question is, what does anything have to do with this?" Crazy Hand raised an… well, he doesn't have eyebrows, does he? Ah well, he did some kind of thing with his face. Wait, he doesn't have one of those either. Dang.

Ike stared blankly back at Crazy Hand. He then shrugged. "This is lame." He walked away.

"Our problem." Marth coughed. Crazy Hand was snapped back to reality.

"Oh, isn't it obvious? Me and Mojo are co-creating this mansion's first ever musical."

"A musical?" Zelda asked curiously.

"What's that?" Crazy Hand responded vacuously. Link looked at Crazy Hand incredulously.

"You were just talking about a… musical…" Link said unsurely. Crazy Hand nodded.

"Of course I was. Did I mention that me and Mojo are co-creating this mansion's first ever musical?"

The three smashers just looked at Crazy with blank faces. He shrugged. "Well, tryouts are at five." He floated away. Zelda turned to Link.

"That could be fun."

Link nodded. "Yeah, I'd be into that."

Marth stared at the two of them in disbelief. "You two are seriously considering joining a musical?"

"What, are you too much of a man to sing and dance?" Zelda teased. Marth went slightly red.

"No, but I—and he—a musical!" He stammered. Link began to laugh.

"Oh, now you're definitely doing it."

"No. Nuh-uh." Marth crossed his arms. "There is no way that I am going to participate in this."

"Oh, come on, Marth. Please?" Zelda asked. Marth's expression softened just a bit, but he still shook his head.

"No. I don't sing. Or dance."

"You're doing it." Link asserted.

"I am not doing it." Marth stomped his foot down on the ground.

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

Marth, Link and Zelda walked into the auditorium, Marth's face puckered. On the stage was Crazy Hand, floating above the wooden floor. Mojo sat on a stool, smoking a cigarette. The audience was littered with smashers who were interested; including Lyndis, Captain Falcon, Waluigi and all of Crazy Hand's monkeys, to name a few. Marth, Link and Zelda took seats in the back.

"Welcome, smashers!" Crazy Hand boomed. "Welcome to our first Smash Musical!"

Captain Falcon and Mojo's monkeys were the only ones who clapped. They slowly came to a stop as everyone glared at them.

"Now," Crazy began. "Because we will be working together, the most important thing for us to know is each other's names. I—"

"Um, Crazy?" Link piped up. "We've all sort of been living together for two months… we know each other's names."

"Excuse me, you do not interrupt the musical director when he is speaking." Crazy Hand sniffed. "Now, I would like for everyone to come up to the stage and introduce themselves. Also, tell us your occupation and your favorite brand of socks."

All of the smashers in the auditoriums exchanged exasperated glances. Of course, Crazy Hand's monkeys began the process. Each time, one would scurry up and make a series of screeching sounds. When he was finished, all of the other monkeys would break out into applause, screeching their approval. Captain Falcon was the first actual smasher to make his way to the stage.

"Hey. Wow. Can't believe I'm here." Captain Falcon chuckled. "The big stage! Right guys?"

There was silence from the audience.

"Well, my name is Captain Falcon, and I…"

"Get off the stage!" Donkey Kong yelled. Captain Falcon went red.

"Why don't you get off the stage?" he said stupidly.

"Maybe I will!" Donkey Kong retaliated. Also stupidly. Captain Falcon continued.

"I'm a dancer, and…"

The monkeys shrieked their disapproval and began to throw monkey poop at him. He put his hands up in front of his face.

"Aach! Wait, no! Let me finish!"

The barrage of poop came to a halt. He gasped for breath and continued.

"And I… I don't wear socks…"

Crazy Hand joined in on the poop flinging.

"Jesus Christ, that was a long day." Marth moaned. Link grimaced.

"You think you had it hard? Try having monkey poo flung right into your eye for not knowing what a jazz square was."

Marth sighed and unlocked the door to their room. Ike looked up from his book and raised an eyebrow.

"Gee, you guys look terrible." He observed.

"Thanks, man." Marth said sarcastically. Ike shrugged.

"Whatever. There's a letter for you two on the nightstand, by the way."

"Huh." Link walked over to the nightstand and picked up an envelope. Marth plopped down onto his bed.

"Who's it from?"

Link frowned. "It doesn't say. But," he frowned. "The return address is Altea."

Both Marth and Ike took sudden interest. "Well, read it." Marth said impatiently. Link tore the envelope open and took out a piece of paper. Marth and Ike got on either side of him and peered over his shoulder.

Dear Marth and Link,

Guess who's coming back?

With love,

Roy

Ike whimpered. Link and Marth turned to look at each other. Marth groaned.

"Oh boy, here we go."

Bustman: And that completes our special double edition of Life In Smash Mansion. The next chapter will be up soon (not as soon, though). I hope you enjoyed, and please remember to review!