Steve walked slowly out into the living room with Thor following behind him. He stopped once he saw Tony and Rhodey sitting around watching some tv show about monsters with some of the team with the smell of Bruce's fajitas in the air. Thor walked into the room first, loudly alerting everyone to his presence. He laughed as the two teens jumped at the noise. Tony looked back, eyes widening when he saw Steve. The man sighed, how could he not think the kid was scared of him? Of course he was.
"Hey, it's both members of the Buff Blonde Brigade! Steve, come watch Supernatural with us. You'll like Lucifer, he's great." Tony said, smiling brightly at the two. Steve smiled, of course Satan would be cool in the future.
"You make it sound like a bad show, Tony." Rhodey said quickly. "Captain Rogers, hello again. It's just about two brothers saving the world from monsters and demons. Tony just thinks Lucifer is funny."
Steve shrugged and walked over, moving for the chair next to the one Thor had taken. Tony made a noise and waved him over to the couch, patting the spot next to him. He stopped for a moment, confused. Why would Tony want him to sit next to him? He moved to the spot next to the teenager, leaving plenty enough space so as to appear as nonthreatening as possible.
"I wanted to apologize." Tony said, leaning closer to him. "I was freaked out and I think I upset you. My bad."
"What? No. You didn't do anything wrong. You never did anything to apologize for." Steve whispered quickly, attempting not to alert Natasha or Thor as they continued to watch the show. Rhodey was sitting close enough to hear, but appeared not to be listening intently. "It was my fault, I put you in a situation that made you uncomfortable, I came off as threatening, and I'm sorry." Tony frowned and shook his head.
"No no. It was all my own shit. I was freaked out my something completely unrelated to you. I just needed to get away and left alone for a bit, out of the car." Tony said, lightly punching Steve in the shoulder.
"But I put you in there in the first place, bombarded you with questions you weren't ready to answer. And you dreamed that I hurt you, not anyone else." Steve said. That was the issue, from what little
Tony rambled on about when he went into his panic attack Steve knew that the drug caused nightmares and Tony's was about Steve hurting him.
"I don't think it was about you particularly, you just showed up." Tony mumbled. "Can we talk about the show now? Look at the car! It's beautiful." Tony said, pointing to the black car as rock music burst from the tv.
"It's very nice." Steve said, glancing to the tv and back to Tony. "You sure you don't want to talk. You don't have to, but it might help to talk to someone." Tony looked around carefully, avoiding eyes.
"I will. Clint's making me a therapy appointment. I'll talk then and then have burgers later. I promised, okay? I just don't want to talk right now." Tony said. Steve nodded.
"That's good. Therapists are smart people, probably not compared to you but they are to me." Steve smiled as Tony chuckled at him. Clint walked in then, looking at everyone. He nodded at Steve before taking his place by Natasha.
"Are you guys okay?" Tony asked, leaning over again. "I don't think he's happy with you."
"He's not. My fault, I made a mistake. I'll talk to him later." Steve said, smiling slightly as the teen scooted closer to him. "Let's just watch your devil show right now."
OOOOOO
The Friday of Tony's first appointment came quickly. He knew Clint had gone over the basics of his issues with Dr. Moreno over the phone, but she was going to make him talk. Of course he was going to have to talk, the dreaded feelings talk with a complete stranger. He dressed down in his Black Sabbath t-shirt and a pair of jeans, no need to impress a stranger who he would have to spend an hour with spilling his thoughts and feelings to.
It had been over a month since the incident, which was all he would ever call it, with Hammer and Stane. He could limp around without his crutches, they were still laying around in case the pain gave him any trouble. His stomach didn't hurt much anymore, but he still had a dull ache in his chest where the electromagnet pressed through his ribs. His arm was healing but he had a visible scar from where Stane had torn his stitches and the doctors had to go in again and reset it. Tony smiled as he walked out into the living room, he was almost back to normal.
Clint smiled up at him when he entered. "Ready to go?" Tony took a quick look around the room, Thor and Steve were failing at video games with Natasha and Bruce betting on who will kill who first at GTA.
"We could just stay in and rob convenience stores." Tony said. He gave a weak smile when Clint shook his head.
"If we stay in to play video games then you don't get fast food. Don't worry, it'll be fine. Say what you can and we'll leave if you want." Clint said. Tony sighed, nodding and followed Clint to the elevator.
Tony laughed at Clint's car, it was a piece of junk. He climbed into the backseat, surprised it didn't fall apart when he opened the door. Clint slid Tony's crutches in at his feet in case Tony needed them later and slid into the driver's seat. The drive to Dr. Moreno's office was short, she was SHIELD psychiatrist so she kept her offices close to base. Tony sat quietly, ignoring Clint's every attempt at small talk.
Tony hated the waiting room. Clint parked himself in a seat next to the magazine rack and the free coffee, smiled reassuringly as Tony just stood next to him. They waited for several minutes, Clint complimenting the coffee with Tony grumbling about how ugly the paint color was before he was called in. Tony looked desperately at his guardian.
"Do you want me to go in with you?" Clint asked softly. Tony hesitated before shaking his head limping slowly into the office. If he ended up talking at all it wouldn't be with Clint around.
His frown deepened when he entered the office. His doctor smiled brightly at him as she ushered him into the room, but there were only several chairs. Did they not do the couches anymore? He stopped in front of the chairs, shifting his weight onto his good leg.
"Have a seat, Tony. Make yourself at home." Dr. Moreno said, sitting down across from him. Tony looked desperately at her before pushing the chairs back and sitting on the floor. After a brief moment, she moved to sit on the floor next to him. "Well, this is comfortable. Feels more friendly."
"Yeah." Tony nodded quickly.
"Now, this is a safe environment, Tony. Everything you say to me will only be mentioned to your guardian, Mr. Barton. That was the agreement that was signed by the two of you since you preferred to not have him in the room. Either than that, it's just between you and me." Dr. Moreno smiled softly. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a Twix bar, handing it to Tony. "He said you had a fixation on junk food. Let's keep this between us." Tony bit into the candy bar savagely, it was the greatest thing he had ever eaten since Bruce put him on his all healthy diet. "Where would you like to start?"
"I don't know. You're the doctor." Tony shrugged, eating mouthfuls of his candy bar. This woman was buying his affections with chocolate, and by god he was going to let her.
"How about we start with why we're hanging out on the floor. The chairs here in my office are very comfortable, picked them out myself." Tony looked up at her, crinkling the candy bar wrapper and putting it in his pocket. He would talk, if not she would tell Clint that he didn't and then no burgers. Besides, he didn't know her. That was supposed to make it easier than talking to everyone back at home.
"I don't like chairs." Tony said.
"Can you tell me why?"
"They remind me." Tony said. He shook his head, she wouldn't know what it reminded him of. He had to talk more. "It reminds me of the chair H-…..Hammer had. The one in his basement." That should be enough. He also said Hammer's name, which was a win in his book. He wasn't going to mention Stane. Not today. Besides, she seemed to understand, she was nodding.
"How do you feel when you sit in a chair?" Dr. Moreno asked. Tony looked back at the chairs pushed behind him, frowning. His doctor stood up and pushed her chair away into a corner, doing the same with the ones behind Tony. She smiled as she came back and sat down in front of him. "Don't worry. You don't have to sit in it."
"I feel- I feel scared. I can't move, like my arms are tied down again, like they were back then. Then I can't keep my eyes open, it gets dark like the bag is going back over my head. I can breathe when it happens. Sometimes it hurts." Tony said slowly, rubbing absently at his arm. "I just don't like chairs. Let's talk about something else."
"Alright. Do you have anything in mind?" Dr. Moreno smiled, scribbling something down on her notebook in front of her.
"I get fast food later. They're trying to get me on a healthier diet, but I finally get to return to my beloved fast food." Tony said quickly, thinking about what will be the highlight of his day.
"Good old-fashioned American Hamburgers, what's not to like?" She smiled brightly. "Why so much love for it?" Tony shrugged.
"I don't know. It's delicious. It's cheap. It's familiar and comfortable. I used to have it every day before all of this SHIELD crap went down." Tony said. "Rhodey, he's my best friend, he used to joke that my liver would shut down at thirty the way I ate."
"Your parents didn't have a problem with your eating habits?" Tony froze up at her question. He muttered unintelligibly for several minutes, while she smiled softly at him. Was he going to talk about his parents with her? He didn't even tell Rhodey until after everything was over and he told Rhodey everything. The Avengers didn't even bring it up because he didn't want to talk about it. The closest they ever got to talking about it was Tony asking to see his dad.
"They didn't care if I ate. They were too busy paying bills and buying… other stuff." Tony said. "I bought my own food." Dr. Moreno nodded, writing something down again. "Can I leave now?"
"Alright, no problem. Let me just get something for you." She walked over to her filing cabinet, pulling out a packet and walking over to him. "Now, I would very much like to talk with you again."
"Will there be more candy?" Tony said, smiling weakly.
"Of course."
"Alright. I just… feel done today." Tony sighed.
"That's just fine. I want you to feel comfortable. If you have anything more to say next week, you can say it. If not we'll just eat candy." Dr. Moreno said, handing him the packet. "This is a bunch of papers on how to cope with flashbacks. It's a symptom of PTSD. In a flashback, a person may feel or act as though a traumatic event is happening again. By doing what it says in here, it can help ground you in the present. Alright?"
"So if I start feeling tied up again, it will remind me that I'm not?" Tony asked softly, flipping through the papers.
"Exactly. Can you send Mr. Barton in?" Tony nodded, walking out into the waiting room and laughing at seeing the archer reading a bridal magazine and drinking directly from the coffee pot.
"Hey, Clint. She wants to talk to you." Clint jumped up quickly, patted Tony on the shoulder with a smile and entered the office.
"Hi, Doctor." Clint said quickly, watching the woman begin to move her chairs back into place. Clint rushed in to help.
"Hello, Mr. Barton. Thank you." She said. "Now, I want to schedule another appointment for Tony for next Friday. He said it was alright."
"He did?" Clint smiled. This was great news, Tony was actively seeking help.
"Yes. Now, about our session. Tony is having flashbacks, they seem to be triggered by chairs." Dr. Moreno said, sitting down.
"Chairs?"
"Yes, they remind him of the chair he was bound to during his kidnapping. Sitting in one can trigger great emotional distress for him and bring up the memories. I suggest you help him avoid them and make them as invisible as possible." Clint nodded as she continued. "Given the nature of his flashbacks and his situation, we will be going on the assumption that it is PTSD for now. I want him here once a week."
"Of course. He'll be here." Clint said quickly.
"He also appears to have some serious emotions regarding his birth family. He didn't appear happy to talk about them and what he told me didn't seem encouraging." Dr. Moreno frowned, looking down at her notes.
"What did he say?" Clint intertwined his fingers, squeezing tightly to resist the urge to hit something.
"His attachment to fast food seems to be from his parents not feeding him. He would just eat food he bought himself, already prepared. This could cause issues in the future, I suggest you try to keep him eating as healthy as possible. If burgers seem to soothe him in a stressful situation, let him have one then." She pulled out a folder and frowned at it. "Is what you told me about Tony's relationship with his parents true?" Clint nodded slowly. Dr. Moreno stood quickly and sifted through her files, returning with two stacks of papers.
"Alright, I'm giving you several articles on how to help an abused child. It is important not to interrogate them on their situation, let them tell you what happened when they're ready. Be sure to tell him he has don't nothing wrong. As often as you can. I'm also giving you something to teach you on how to recognize the signs of a flashback and help someone in one." Clint reached forward and grabbed the papers quickly, holding them close. "Now, I want to put him on some medications to hel-"
"No." Clint said quickly. Dr. Moreno sat back in her chair, confused. "Sorry. Tony has an issue with drugs. It's a thing with his mom, she was a drug addict and he doesn't want to end up like….that." She nodded at his words.
"Alright, just have him back next Friday." Clint nodded and stood. He walked back out to the waiting room to see Tony sitting on the floor, reading the same bridal magazine.
"Come on, kid. Let's go get burgers."
