On a roll, hopefully these chapters have and will continue to make up for the long delay! Thank you all for still reading, reviewing, favoriting, and following. You've all been wonderful.

Castle and Beckett in the aftermath of Sophia.

Beckett knocked lightly on the door of the loft, despite the text message she had received just a bit ago stating Castle would leave the door unlocked for her. She pushed it open quietly, not wanting to disturb the residents.

"Castle?"

She heard the steady typing from the office, heard the low rumble of him reading the words he was writing aloud. Beckett closed the door and leaned against it, his mere presence calming her. Beckett chuckled as Castle's voice changed as he imitated Nikki Heat. He had developed the habit at the cabin with her, reading the manuscript for Heat Rises out loud to get her opinion. A small smile formed as she got lost in the memories of their summer, holding on to good memories. They were needed now.

Beckett was glad he had taken the day to write. In the two days since Sophia's betrayal, he had been distant. She had held back herself as best she could; Castle needed to work everything out in his own mind. She had missed him today.

Beckett pushed off from the door, glancing over her shoulder as she shrugged out of her red coat, a favorite of Castle's. She felt the heat pool in her stomach as vivid images flashed through her mind.

As soon as they got home from the garage, leaving the paperwork for another day, Castle had pinned her to wall by the front door. His mouth claimed hers in a violent kiss. Clothes were discarded in a heap on the floor, neither caring if anyone was home to interrupt their passion. Castle hadn't been gentle, needing to get lost in her. He needed to feel her, he said. Needed to know that they were still here, still together. She'd responded in kind, horrifying images of Castle lying lifeless on the other end of Sophia's gun replaced with brilliant images of Castle's azure eyes boring into hers as he spilled into her. Beckett broke apart around him as he whispering how desperately in love with her he was.

As they had moved to the bedroom, Beckett spent the evening showing him they had survived. Her hands hardly left him, small unintentional bruises littering Castle's arms as she had dug her fingers into his skin, reminding herself that he was still with her. She took her time, getting lost in the feel of him under her fingers and body. She clamored on top of him and rocked with him for hours, a tangled web of limbs as they got wrapped up in each other.

She was drifting off to sleep on his chest when he spoke, Castle's voice breaking with emotion. She raised her head as he admitted how scared he had been. Beckett kissed away the tears that fell from his eyes as he spoke of his fear of never seeing Alexis again, of the last thing he said to his mother being something goofy. His voice cracked as he admitted his last thought before the shot rang out was that he hated Kate had to watch him die.

"It's hard to come back from something like that, Kate. You lived, and I still sometimes find myself expecting you…"

He trailed off, unable to complete the terrible thought. Castle held her a little tighter than normal as he drifted off to a fitful sleep after finally confessing that hearing of his father was harder than facing a gun.

She watched him sleep for hours, the steady rise and fall of Castle's chest calming her racing heart. Each time Beckett closed her eyes to join him in slumber she pictured blood oozing from his mouth as if the shot had penetrated him.

It had surprised them both that Beckett was the one who woke in the middle of the night, calling out to him. She was drenched in sweat, her voice hoarse with her screaming. She'd buried her face in his grey tee-shirt, her tears soaking through the thin martial.

"I thought I had lost you."

He was shaking as he comforted her, kissing her tenderly as he repeated that they were okay. They were alive. She apologized for being so upset. Castle had joked it off, stating it was about time he knew how much she cared.

A ringing phone captured her attention, drawing Beckett's eyes to the office. His voice was low as he answered the phone, the typing stopped. Beckett's heavy sigh sounded loud to her own ears. She thought about their brief meeting this morning.

Castle had shown at the precinct momentarily, his hand brushing hers as he set the cup of coffee down in front of her. Beckett smiled softly up at him as she whispered her thanks, silently asking him if he was okay. He glanced around the crowded room before turning his eyes back to hers, Castle finally admitting that he needed to bring her coffee to keep him focused.

"It's the one thing I can always count on."

Castle touched her lips with the pad of his finger, his million dollar smile growing as she pressed a tender kiss to it.

Beckett had tried to pull him back to her, get Castle to not dwell in the past. Truthfully she felt like she was failing him. Castle was always the one with the silver lining, always seeing a way to make the bad good. As Castle had started to walk out, Beckett grabbed his hand and pressed a quick kiss to his unshaven cheek as she whispered to him

"We'll find justice. Just not today. Remember who told me that? We'll figure it out together, Castle. I promise."

She was worried about him. She was supposed to spend the day catching up on paperwork. The truth was Beckett had actually spent all day at the precinct staring down at the gun that she had purposefully left on her desk. Beckett hadn't been surprised when hand shook as she picked it up that morning and holstered it, glancing over her shoulder at a still sleeping Castle as she got ready. She had thought he had been killed.

Now, as Kate breathed in the familiar air of the loft, she let herself get lost in her own feelings of that fateful day. Castle had told her later that night, as they lay spent in each others arms, that she was right not to trust Sophia. She had told him there was no need to discuss that, she just wanted him to be okay. Beckett kept quiet of her own fears, her own panic over the thought of losing him.

Beckett could still feel the panic she felt as Sophia stood behind Castle, taunting him about his father with her gun pressed into the back of his head. Her throat still stung with her strangled "no" that had reverberated in the garage as the gunshot rang.

As she got lost in the images of that day, of seeing him on the wrong side of a gun, Kate breathed out a broken sob. Kate had never truly thought she could lose him. Despite all the times they had gone into a dangerous situation, Beckett had prided herself on having the upper hand. She loved knowing he was safe with her, no matter what. She loved having his back, and him having hers. They had come too close this time.

"Kate, darling, are you all right?"

Martha's concerned voice cut through Beckett's awful thoughts. Beckett bit down on her bottom lip to keep from spilling her secrets, saying simply

"I thought I would come check on Castle."
"How about a glass of wine?"

Martha's smile was soft, knowing. The past few days had been hard on all of them. Beckett could always count on Martha. The quieter than normal detective moved into the kitchen, drumming her hands along the counter. As Martha poured a generous helping of red wine, Kate finally asked

"How was he today?"
"Mostly he stayed in his office. He's been rather quiet."

Beckett's eyes were drawn to the half open door to the office, to the man sitting on the other side. The question sprang forth unconsciously, slipping out on a note of fear.

"How do I help him, Martha? He's always been the one helping me. "

Martha's gentle hand covered hers; Beckett slowly brought her eyes back to the softer blue that Castle had inherited from his mother. Martha nodded in the direction of the office and said bluntly, never one to hold back

"Love him when he can't love himself. I know Richard. He's beating himself up for a past he can't change. Be patient with him. Just love him."

Martha handed her the second wine glass, staying quiet for a minute as Beckett swirled the delectable drink in the glass. Taking both glasses with a small smile, Beckett said quietly

"Thank you Martha."
"Alexis and I will be upstairs if you need us."

Beckett felt a small flutter in her throat as the emotions of being included in Castle's family. She quietly thanked Martha again before taking both glasses, her heels clicking quietly across the hardwood.

Beckett didn't bother knocking, nudging the door with her hip. He didn't even glance up at the sound, his eyes never wavering from the delicate story he was spinning on his laptop. Beckett leaned against the doorjamb, her eyes skating over his scruffy appearance. She smiled softly as she felt always present coil of desire burn in her belly when she saw him.

As she watched him work, content to just let herself get lost him, Beckett marveled over how far they had come. Sometimes she still couldn't believe they had made it. Sometimes, she still couldn't believe that he wanted her here, would allow her to comfort him when it felt as if the world was falling apart. Beckett prided herself on ignoring the small part of her mind that tried to hold on to the image Castle as an egotistical self-centered jackass. Castle had proven her wrong, time and time again. In the best way possible.

She couldn't stay quiet anymore, needed to be with him. The truth of that shot through her, excited her. She needed Castle. Beckett drew a deep breath and said quietly, her voice cutting through his soft typing

"Hey."

Castle's smile was instantaneous, his blue eyes lighting up as he quickly closed his laptop that was seated across his lap. She matched his grin as he moved the computer, leaning back in his seat, inviting her in. Beckett crossed the room, setting the wine glasses down in front of him. Without hesitation, Beckett draped her arms over his shoulders and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead before whispering

"You okay?"

Castle stared up at her before turning around in his chair, tugging Beckett down onto his lap. He kissed her harshly, his tongue slowly sliding along her lips asking for permission. Beckett threaded her hands into his hair as he cupped the back of her neck, deepening the kiss. He pulled back only as she pressed on his chest, the need for oxygen too great, before leaning his forehead against hers. His breath, minty and deliciously sweet like Castle, mingled with hers as Castle whispered

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Beckett opened her eyes to meet his startling blue ones, letting herself drown in the bottomless pools of indigo staring back at her. She trailed a tender finger down his cheek, shaking her head as she called his bluff.

"Liar."

The soft rumble of laughter deep in his chest warmed her. They knew each other better than anyone, whether they wanted to admit it not. Castle pressed another gentle kiss to her lips before his voice, though soft, rang out in the quiet office.

"I'm better now. With you."

Castle met her eyes, his begging her to not talk about the past. I'm better now. With you. He wanted to move on, wanted to focus on their future. Beckett snuggled into his chest a little deeper and changed the topic, wanting to help him anyway she knew how.

"What's Nikki into these days?"

Castle smiled gratefully down at her, mouthing a silent "thank you," before regaling her with the latest details of their alter egos. Beckett smiled as Castle's strong hands held her a little tighter, letting her comfort him without words.