So, finally almost home. It's been a rather quiet ride, everyone lost in their own thoughts. In fact, don't think anyone's said a single word since we pulled-out of the parking area at Stonehenge. We'd stopped, just to take a look as Owen had never been. Not much to see beyond the postcard images. But its one of those places, you need to be able to say you've been, at least once. We were just about done, Gwen was considering a paperweight they had for sale (gift for Rhys? Can't think of any other reason she'd want the thing.) Anyway, that's when we saw this guy, trying to blend-in amongst all the tourists. I say trying, because whatever he does, it's never going to work. We'd seen pretty much the same thing back at Disneyland, in the parade… people roller-skating around, dressed like a great lump of coral, with a whole tropical fish stuck over their head… only 2 differences between then and now, this one's wearing a suit, and the fish-head isn't a mask. Okay… 3 differences, no roller-skates either; this one has a stolen sports car instead. Maybe if he was in Cardiff, he could have gotten away with it, but that sort of thing is a little too out of the ordinary this far from the Rift. So anyway, Owen and Gwen tried to corner the fish, keep it away from its transport. The fish drew a gun and shoved Owen over backwards. (Why would a fish carry a gun anyway, guns don't work underwater?) In any case, after a rather lengthy chase on foot, the fish made it back to his vehicle and away. That's when Gwen came-up to me, all out of breath and panting like a Labrador. She was yelling that they could have used a little help… if it wasn't too much trouble. Just smiled and pointed out the crowds of tourists all trying to figure-out why their cameras weren't working… "Crowd control. While you were in hot pursuit, Tosh and I were making sure you didn't end-up on the evening news." By the time we'd picked-up Owen, who was still lying in a ditch a hundred feet away, trying to remember how to breathe, the fish and the sports car were out of sight. Gwen went on for a good five minutes about how we'd lost the alien and that as a team, we should have done better. Rather than point out to her that we were jet-lagged, worn-out and in need of sleep, I instead opted to suggest that we simply continue to head home as that's the direction the fish was headed anyway. Given Owen's penchant for speeding, it shouldn't be too hard to 'catch' the fish. To which Gwen (rather sarcastically, I might add) asked how I knew where it was going. I said that for one thing the best place for seafood, especially fresh fish, was The Clipper back at Mermaid Quay, and for another thing that's simply where he's headed. Owen asked if I had sonar… or a fish finder, to which I answered, no. Tosh can follow him with the SUV's scanner; I told them that while they were chasing the fish over hill and over dale, I'd placed a tracking signal generator in the fish's convertible. So as I said, it's been quiet in the car since then. Too quiet. Not sure if Gwen's mad at me. May have taken too much initiative back there, thinking of something she hadn't. Not good for the tea-boy to show-up the boss. Especially not good if she hasn't finished with those annual employee reviews yet. Anyway… quiet.

Started to hum that tune from Jaws, not the shark music, the one they sing in the boat at night, while they're waiting… Farewell and adieu, my fair Spanish Ladies. Farewell and adieu, fair ladies of Spain… (Good thing I'm just humming, not sure I remember the words.) Beginning to think no one gets it, that it's going over like the proverbial lead balloon… (Or a Splott joke.) But then Owen picks-up on it, he starts tapping out the rhythm of the other song on the steering wheel… the one Richard Dreyfus' character starts. Tosh starts to hum along, but Gwen is still staring (glaring?) out the side window. Owen starts in on the lyrics, 'I'm tired and I wanna go home…' By the time he gets very far, Tosh and I have joined in: "Had another drink 'bout an hour ago… and it's gone straight to my head." I could see the smile start to tug on the corner of Gwen's lips and soon she could resist joining in no longer.

It's getting dark now, as we approach Newport. We've decided that as, other than stealing a car, the fish hasn't seemed to cause any real or immediate problems. He doesn't seem to pose any urgent threat, so Gwen wants to head to the hub, check that everything is fine there, and catch the fish later. (It's been a long drive, I'm sure the rest of us could use a toilet break as well, Gwen. No need for excuses.) So now we (well, I) have un-packed the SUV, and gotten things sorted here. Gwen's been on the phone to Rhys, Tosh has been updating that Rift prediction program she was working on in Tibet, and Owen has crashed on the couch. As I sit here now (at Jack's desk) there's something odd. It's not that anything's missing or broken or really out of place… all Gwen's papers are here, the picture of Rhys and all… I guess after being gone it's just that feeling that everything is just a little out of focus when you get back and see it again. Looking at normal life again instead of new things. But there's something else… a certain… feel. It even smells just a little different. Not musty like I'd expect the hub to smell after more than a week all closed-up. There's something… comforting, just a little hint of spice, like cinnamon and vanilla. Damn! It's Jack. It still smells like Jack. After all these months, all it took was a few days left undisturbed for the office to smell like him again. It's not fair. Better stay clear of here until it fades again, or I'll never get anything done. Need to move on. Stay focused. Just isn't fair.

The evening's getting on now. Rather than send everyone home, Gwen's decided that, at this instant, we should go after the fish. (Think she had a bit of a row with Rhys on the phone. After all this time away, she doesn't want to go home now.) In typical fashion, Owen and Tosh are debating a name for the fish. Owen says Blowfish. Tosh states there is no evidence to indicate that he has any blowfish characteristics. Owen claims that it's probably poisonous, loaded with weapons, and we should take extra artillery. Tosh says that she hadn't seen anything other than the one handgun. They've been at it for half an hour now. If they ask me what we should call him, I'm going to vote "Paul." He looks like a "Paul" to me. So far, no one's asked.

So after a great deal of waiting around, we took off after the Blowfish. (Didn't even get a chance to vote.) We've picked up the tracking signal again without a problem. It's like he'd been sitting, waiting for us. Once we took off, however, so did he. After all the sitting around, feels strange to be in a chase again. Based on Owen's fears about the fish, I kept wondering if we were 'gonna need a bigger boat.' So there we were, tracker pinging away, hot on the… tail… of the Blowfish, and Gwen insists that Owen stop so she can ask an OAP on the street if she's seen a Blowfish. Subtle. We go careening 'round the city, lights blazing, pointing out the aliens to bystanders… what part of 'secret organization' is causing the confusion? So we chased the fish. Gwen, in her role of professional team-leader persisted in teasing Owen about it. Doesn't she realize? Of course Owen's afraid of the Blowfish. He's allergic to seafood, isn't he? Did come to the conclusion that Owen's been watching too many movies, 'cause he climbed out the window to shoot the fish's tyres. Worked though, got the fish to stop. Unfortunately also led to a shooting and a hostage situation. Never did like fishing.

What I want to know is how did this Blowfish know about us? Sure, he knew about Torchwood, but also he knew about us. He knew who we were, what our jobs were… are Blowfish psychic? Or had he just done his research? Still, to be honest, I have to wonder if he was right about me. Promoted beyond my measure. Could I have shot? Really? A living… being. Alien or not. Drugged-out fish or not. Could I have pulled the trigger? And how good am I? Could I have gotten him before he got her? Could I have done it, to save the girl? In any case, what bothered me most about the whole thing… 'Minion?' Don't think I like being called a 'minion.' And just who does he think he is? Calling me 'office-boy?' Huh? Guppy-boy. Minnow.

So now here I am, having changed the shot-out tyre, I'm driving the little red sports car back to the hub, and stuck in traffic. Apparently truck spilt its load and traffic's being re-routed. That's okay. Gives me a chance to think, since the others are in the SUV with the dead fish and… Guess I should mention, Jack's back. Just like that. Just like him. Months away. No goodbye, nothing, then he's just suddenly there again. Like he'd never left. I turned and couldn't believe it, but there he was. It was like a dream. It was like déjà vu. I think I'm still not sure if he was really there or not. It'd probably be easier if it was all just a dream.

Once I'd gotten back to the hub, the others were already there. At first I wondered what I'd missed in the SUV on the ride back. Didn't take long to see how things stood. The boss is back, but the new boss isn't giving in that easily. Thar be squalls ahead. Anyway, I told Gwen that the car was impounded and I'd return it to the owner in the morning, but Gwen seemed a little too preoccupied demonstrating her leadership skills to hear me (or she just ignored me.) So intent on showing her command of the situation, she rushed around, issuing orders that didn't need to be said. Owen too rushed around. Owen doesn't rush. Definitely all for Jack's benefit. And Jack. Jack just stood with that little bemused smile of his. That was until Gwen screeched at him. Owen asked him point blank, where he'd been. There's that pause in his reply. He's not thinking of what to say, but how much… or more precisely, how little. He'd found his Doctor. That blue box. Before I'd thought it through, I asked him if he was going back to him. Jack said, 'I came back for you.' I felt myself flinch, caught my heart skip, before he looked away and continued, 'All of you.' Thought so.

Tosh's computers have alerted her of Rift activity, but the predictor program is interfering, slowing down the coordinates. While she's working it out, I'm trying to work things out of my own. What do I do around Jack? Was that, 'I came back for you,' really for me? Or was it just typical Jack flirting? I'd promised myself that I wouldn't get swept away again. It was easier, making that promise then. Jack wasn't standing, just over there, at the time. I can't focus on anything with him there. No, that isn't right… I can't focus on anything… else, with him standing just over there. So close, yet farther away than ever before. Focus. Okay. Here's a new quandary: when Tosh has the coordinates finalized, I'm not sure if I should head to the SUV with the others, or do I go back up and wait in the Tourist Office? I was made field agent when Jack left. Because he left. When they needed a fourth. Do they still need me along? Want me along? Am I still even still a field agent? Or am I back to waiting here and tidying the hub? Owen just answered all my concerns by tossing his med-kit at me with a 'Make yourself useful Tea-boy. C'mon then, Tosh's got us a location.'

So there we were at the base of that parking garage. Don't know why we bother with all the Rift Monitors, scanners, expensive equipment and the like. Anything strange happens in the city, it's usually related to that garage. Should just head there first. Team was doing its job. Jack was trying to step in, supervise. Be boss again. Gwen's not giving up without a fight. I spent most of the time ready to assist Owen, and trying not to look at Jack. It's only fair. He hasn't looked at me since he said he came back for me… us… whatever. Remember thinking that nothing was going to break the awkward feeling when Jack's wrist-strap started beeping. A hologram message for Jack. Didn't know what to think. Bouncing between "Oh great! Jack's past again" and "Cool! A hologram!" Mostly I wondered if there's something I should be doing, but Owen looked as confused as I felt, so I guessed no. Is it wrong to feel jealous of a hologram? Apparently not, because Jack just took off in the SUV, leaving me… us, again. I wasn't there to stop him leaving last time, and it tore me apart. I sure as hell wasn't going to let him just disappear without a trace again. Torchwood in hot pursuit, in a taxi. Brilliant. Think the rest of the team felt just as annoyed at being abandoned as I. They're rather vocal about it. Why do I constantly feel the need to defend Jack, when everything they say is a mirror of what I've been thinking since he left?

So when we got to where Jack was this time, how singularly unimpressed I was. "Bar Reunion," how fitting… how literal and utterly without subtlety. How "Captain John Hart." I can't believe that Jack knew this guy. Partners? With him? Can't believe Tosh finds him cute. Can't believe we'll be working with him, helping him. Can't believe Jack ever…

As all six of us headed for the SUV, mentioned to Gwen it'd be a tight fit. Did she want me to get another taxi? This Captain John sidles up to me and says it's no problem, and asks if I'd like to ride on his lap, wherever we're going. I didn't have time to shudder before Jack yanked him away from me. Jack kept between us the rest of the way back and I think I heard him growl at his 'partner' that if he didn't stay away from me, radiation bombs would be the least of his worries. Jack hasn't spoken a dozen words to me since he came back, but if any of that just then was jealousy… or protectiveness… then maybe… I don't know. But then again, don't even know what I'd want from Jack anymore anyway. Never knew what I was to him, even back when we… let alone now. Maybe its all nothing. Watching the two of them now, on the CCTV up on the Plass, does Jack look like he feels anything for this guy? Then again, to someone watching us, would it look like Jack ever felt anything for me?

Jack and Gwen have disappeared down the hallway. What do they talk about? Does Jack say the same things to her that he does to me, when we're alone? That he used to say to me? Has he noticed the ring on her finger? Will it make a difference? Is there anyone I won't feel jealous being around Jack? (Maybe Owen.) In any case, I'm here making coffee for… our guest. Think he's staring at me, or at least at my back, as I refuse to turn around and look at him. I can feel it, though. Yep, can see his reflection in the teakettle. Why do I have to baby-sit? He makes me so uncomfortable. Wish Jack or Gwen would come back. He's still staring. Where's Owen anyway? Tosh is at her station, collecting data and trying to pose for… him, but it's no good. He's still staring at me. What did he mean, Time Agents? That's not Torchwood, nor is it U.N.I.T. Was that from before? Before Jack was even 'Jack?' Does he know Jack's real name? 2 weeks. 5 years. Partners? In every way? Still staring. WHAT?

'Just waiting for my chance to taste your coffee.' He said. Taste my coffee? You have got to be kidding. Eye contact and smile. Cream and sugar? 'Oh! Yes! Please!' is everything that man says an innuendo? He actually moaned as he sipped the coffee. That Ianto Jones action figure is going to need new batteries by the truck-load. The blush feature really drains them fast. Where is Jack?

This guy cannot be for real. And Gwen, flirting like that in the meeting. Was that for Jack's benefit? Or is she actually interested in Hart? She can't be taken in by him. 'With eyes like yours…' Please! Too annoying. And kiddies, remember not to open the deadly radioactive canisters. Really? Now that I think about it, why did Gwen pair me with Jack? Sure it puts her with Captain Jerk, but why couldn't she have put me with Tosh or Owen? Speaking of Tosh and Owen, they're gone already. Probably already halfway to their canister by now. Gwen and the Captains… (sounds like a music act from the 70's) they're still in the conference room. What are the three of them still doing in there? No, really don't want to know.

Spent all that time dreading being alone in the SUV with Jack, but he's been on a call with U.N.I.T. most of the entire ride. Since I've started writing this, he's finished the call, but I must look busy. Think he's glanced at me a few times, like he was going to say something, but hasn't. Hey! Two more words from Jack since he came back: 'We're here.'

Looking back, the rest of the night is a blur. A blur of fear and adrenalin, punctuated with moments so clear and sharp and wonderful. So as Jack and I arrived at the coordinates for our canister, Jack was up to a whole dozen words spoken to me since his return. Guess he wasn't sure what to say, either. We arrived on the top floor and all of a sudden he's whittering on about inappropriate office behavior and how much it turns him on. He's trying to keep it light. He really doesn't know what to say to me either. All I know is I don't want the jokes, the innuendo. Not until I can figure things out. I tried to remain serious. Hope he'd take the hint. He did. He asked how I was. Good, safe question. Doesn't give anything away. Very Jack. Smile and eye contact. Just like old times. Jack specifically asks me to stop calling him sir (had I? I guess I had. As I said, like old times.) Then Jack specifically asks me out on a date. My mind flashes back to New Years. Don't want to end up Weevil hunting again. My mind was racing. Sorry to say, this time it was I who deflected. I didn't answer directly. Back to business… lighter, hopeful, but still… business. And I asked Jack, why he wanted to help Hart (hoping that Jack didn't hear that little stammer.) What I think I'm really asking is now he's back, and now his (ex?) partner is here, why he's suddenly asking me out on a first date. Jack says Hart is part of his past and wants him gone (and does that make me part of his future?) I guess maybe it does, because he's persistent, asked me straight-out if I was saying yes to the date. Yes. And yes again. No chance I want to be misunderstood.

Life at Torchwood often goes from one extreme to the next. I was excited. Jack still wanted me. By the offer of a date, and not just a request for something… physical, I found myself hoping that all my worries in the past had been of my own creation. That maybe Jack really did feel for me something of what I'd felt for him for so long. This was all mixed with the usual sense of worry about the radiation bombs, getting John Hart back out of Jack's life, whether the pterodactyl would respond to the signal and come home… but I felt as good as I had in a long time and happy at the prospect of Jack. A proper date? What should I wear? Would there be dancing? And of course, that's when it all went wrong. The elevator bell rang, announcing its arrival. But who? A question answered all too predictably: that bastard Hart. He'd done something to the rest of the team and was granting me a small opportunity to save them. The way he rubbed the gun against my skin as he made his threats, I wondered if Jack's warning earlier was all that had kept me from a worse fate. All the while not knowing if the others were even still alive… Fear that I had the opportunity, but wouldn't be able to act in time, or do the right things. Like the Blowfish had said. That they would die, not just from what this bastard had done to them, but because I was the only one left to save them.

The frustration was maddening. Called Jack to warn him, but he didn't answer. I have the feeling he already knew that Hart had betrayed him. Maybe he even always knew that it would happen. But knowing Jack, I realized that he wouldn't need my help. That he'd be fine. That no matter what else, Jack was good at taking care of himself. So there I was driving 70 on city streets, speeding to the rescue, and I'm passed by another car. Is Owen right? Am I too careful? My friends were injured, dying… hit 90 by the time I got to Owen and Tosh's warehouse. Broke the lock to get in. They were injured, but alive. We made our way to Gwen's location and Tosh found her as well. Poisoned and locked in an empty freight container. Left to die, alone and paralyzed. How could Jack have ever worked with a killer like him? Been with a killer like him?

We circled back to find Jack. He was sitting on a bench at the front entrance, waiting for us. Hart had all three of his canisters. All that remained was to find out what they really were, and to stop him from using them. As Jack and I headed back to the SUV, where the others waited, I tried to hand him the keys. Jack asked me to drive for him. Think his back was giving him problems, undoubtedly Hart's doing. As we walked I couldn't help but reach over and rub Jack's back. Also couldn't help but notice that it made Jack smile.

Ever the one to make an entrance, Jack waited in the hub for the… opportune moment. The look on Hart's face, from arrogant to aghast. Priceless. He was cornered and he knew it. Always trying to manipulate, make the deal. Why was he looking at me when he suggested an orgy? So that's where we are now. God, that came out wrong. Jack, Owen, Tosh, Gwen and I were standing here. We've spent the last half hour discussing what to do about Hart. For a minute I was worried that Jack was actually considering Hart's last 'offer.' Think he finally realized I didn't find it amusing and dropped the joke. Jack has decided to take the diamond and lock Hart in the vaults, 'til a more permanent solution can be found. Owen wants to just shove him into a Weevil den, says it's what he deserves for killing the woman. Have to say I'm with Owen on this one. Don't much like the idea of having Jack's ex-'partner-in-every-way' locked in the vaults, even if Jack has made it clear what's past and what's future. Right now Jack and Tosh are over running a few more scans of the canisters, double-checking that there really isn't any radiation involved before we open them. Hart is getting a preview of the vault accommodations. Was wondering, that fourth piece, he got that from the Blowfish. We're they working together? Had Hart sent the Blowfish to lure us? Was that how the fish had known all about Torchwood? About all of us? How much of this had Hart planned? Maybe Jack will reconsider Owen's idea.

So we had the pieces of the alien puzzle. Jack was making Hart get the diamond out, and once again, the Universe had other plans. Plans that included a trap, a bomb, a hostage, a willingness to sacrifice and a last minute rescue. Have to admit, I found the situation funny, right-up until the bastard cuffed himself to Gwen. Why does he insist on looking at me every time he suggests the orgy? In any case, Owen's quick thinking saved the day and we were rid of Hart once and for all. (Still don't know why Tosh resisted my idea to just cut Hart's hand off. She said that it'd detonate the bomb, but her explanation of why didn't make sense. Think after all that, she still thought he was cute… and didn't want the blood.) In any event, Hart is gone, back through the Rift. As he left, I swear his eyes flashed a red glow, like the nasty little demon spawn that he was. And that leaves us here now, back at the beginning of the night, stuck with avoiding ourselves or face some inconceivable time paradox. Jack did suggest that he'd be willing to risk the paradox, that maybe the two of us could track-down our earlier selves and… I looked him straight in the eye when I told him that neither the earlier me, nor the current me was about to be that easy… And that neither of us appreciates the constant offers for orgies.

We had parked the red sports car where it wouldn't be seen by our other, earlier selves, in a spot near the castle. While we sat on a bench in the park and waited for the others to pick us up in the SUV, Jack had turned and asked me where we'd been. He said that he'd been, 'back for a few days now, waiting, looking all over Cardiff for you.' To which I replied, "Oh really? Days? I've been damn well looking for you for months. Not knowing where you were... if you were… While you were away with that 'Doctor' of yours. Where have YOU been? You selfish, self-centered bastard!" Well, okay… it all came out as: "Tibet." But I think I made myself clear anyway, what with the roll of the eyes, and all. Jack then turned his head and held it there while he continued to hold my gaze. He does that on purpose. He knows it accentuates his jaw line and the cleft chin. He knows how I feel… felt… feel about the jaw and the chin. It would be so easy to…

Jack. Think he assumes we'll just pick-up where we left off, before he left me… That's just not how it's gonna be. Whatever the reason he left, the reason he doesn't tell me, he still left. He's going to have to earn me back this time. This time he's going to have to put a little more effort into it, into me, into us. I won't be won by some occasional attention and random flirtation. And he better not think I'm willing to be one of many. If that's what he wants, then he doesn't want me. This time, Jack, you're going to have to work for it. Because I'm worth it.