"Are you sure you won't join me for dinner tonight Jane?" Maura asked; the detective stood on her front step.
"No, I have things I still need to sort out with the apartment." She replied, feeling a little awkward again now they were alone. "And I'm sure your mother would rather not have to see me again so soon." She chuckled.
"You could always come over once she takes Katie home? I don't feel as though I have seen you much since…since everything happened." She sighed, her eyes never leaving Jane's.
The brunette looked away; her mind flooding with painful memories again as she blinked back the emotion.
"Sorry. It's been a busy week." She offered as a suitable response.
"You don't have to say anything. I know."
Jane smiled and leaned in slightly her fingers finding Maura's waist. She quickly pressed her lips to the M.E's soft cheek, basking in the scent of her hair and skin before stepping back and releasing the tentative contact. "I'll call you later." With that she was gone, long strides taking her back to the solitude of her car and the short ride home.
Once inside she locked and bolted the door taking stock of each room to ensure it was exactly as she had left it, gun in hand just to be sure. Satisfied she threw her jacket over the kitchen stool and pulled a cold beer from the fridge, the amber liquid immediately pinching at her senses. Fixing a simple cheese sandwich she switched the TV on, the noise of the game filling the empty space.
It was dark outside when she woke, the chill in the air waking her from another fitful rest. She cracked out her body, the stiffened muscles resisting then relaxing with each manipulation, pleased they were no longer cramped up on the tiny uncomfortable couch. Stretching, her long legs now over the end of the armrest, Jane stared out into the night sky, the sound of her heartbeat in her ears. She wished she could see the stars, anything other than the void that took up residence outside her window.
Her phone vibrated on the table; her breath catching in her chest at the violent intrusion. Reaching for it, the glare from the screen causing her to squint a little she slid the 'unlock' and opened her message.
I hope you've had a productive evening? I figure you must have fallen asleep, as you didn't call. I hope you rest well Jane. I'm thinking about you. M x
Jane sighed, her index finger tracing over the kiss at the end of the text as her body burned. "I'm thinking about you too Maura. I can't seem to do anything else."
…..
Maura had not slept well, her dreams peppered with images of the tall detective. She had awoken both anxious and aroused at the prospect of spending the afternoon in her company. It had taken her a considerable amount of time to select an outfit, the discarded options uncharacteristically strewn across her bed along with several pairs of heels. She had finally opted for a simple blue classic skirt and blouse, taking extra time to accessorise before slipping on her shoes. She wanted to ensure both style and comfort without compromising her look. After all she knew she always wanted to look her best for Jane.
She only questioned her choice on opening her front door and seeing the brunette stood in jeans and a Red Sox jersey, a pair of white sneakers poking out from under the denim.
"I'm over-dressed." Maura sighed, her hands nervously palming her clothes.
"You look perfect to me." Jane said, her eyes roaming down the curvaceous body stood before her, as she tried hard to reel her emotions back in.
"Ok." She replied with a smile, enjoying seeing the detective appreciating her. "Let me just grab my purse."
She slipped on a light Burberry jacket and picked up the bottle of red wine she had selected also before locking her door and following Jane to her car. It was silent for several minutes before the driver sent a look her way as they stopped at some lights.
"Sorry I didn't call. I fell asleep." She offered, her thumbs stroking at the soft leather of the steering wheel.
"I thought as much. You've looked so tired this past week." Maura said, smiling gently as she fell into the brown eyes holding her gaze. "It was bound to catch up with you."
Jane looked away as the lights changed, shifting the vehicle through the gears as they made their way along the city streets. She didn't know how to respond knowing that the M.E. could probably tell from the huge dark circles under her eyes that she was indeed still struggling to make it through the nights alone.
"I'm a little nervous." The honey-blonde said, clutching at her bag. "I've never been invited to a family dinner before."
"Never? I mean your parents must have had people over or something?" She stated.
"Well yes. They would entertain quite frequently and when I wasn't boarding I would naturally be expected to attend. I just meant that I have never gone to a friend's house for a meal like this. I must sound so dreadfully strange to you." She sighed, looking out of the window.
"You're not strange Maura. I guess when you were younger people just didn't get you, is all." She offered kindly.
"Nothing has really changed there I'm afraid. I'm still considered rather odd."
"I'll take odd over normal any day." She smiled, pulling up outside her family home. "We're here and other than the likely possibility of my Ma saying something embarrassing, I'm sure you'll have a good time."
Maura returned the smile her hand finding Jane's that was resting on the gear stick, giving it a slight squeeze. "I'm always happy in your company Jane."
The brunette let the warmth of the doctor's touch travel up her arm before releasing it and opening the door, seeing Frankie approaching.
"Hey Sis."
"Hey you. How are you doing?" She asked, feeling instantly guilty for her brother's attack.
"I'm ok, really. Stop worrying about me. It was just a bang to the head and I've had plenty of those over the years." He laughed, his eyes finding Maura who was now stood close behind Jane. "Hi." He smiled.
"Hello. It's so nice of you to invite me." The M.E. said politely.
"Well Ma never needs an excuse to cook." Frankie said grinning.
"That's for sure. Come on. Let's get you inside." Jane said, placing her hand lightly on the small of Maura's back, a gesture that had the honey-blonde feeling like they were a couple. That thought granted her a moment of supreme happiness followed by an ache of truth. They weren't really much of anything at all.
Angela's house had the most homely feel to it, Maura thought as she was guided through the lounge and into the kitchen. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the multitude of photos tacked to the refrigerator as she searched for ones of the brunette. She wasn't disappointed as she took in the various pictures of a much younger Jane, playing in the garden, at the beach, smiling as she got her badge. She felt her heart beat a little faster; eager to take in everything she could about the woman who had completely felled her.
"Maura. Oh you look beautiful!" Angela cried pulling her in for a hug.
"Thank you." She replied, a blush spreading across her cheeks.
"Janie, you could have made an effort." She chided, looking her daughter up and down.
"For what? Sunday lunch? Geez Ma. You gotta start the minute I walk in? Could I maybe grab a drink first?" She said, rolling her eyes and grabbing a diet coke. "What can I get for you Maura?"
"I'll have the same as you for now, thank you Jane. Angela I brought you this." She said handing over the bottle of wine.
"It looks expensive." Angela said, tugging at the gold net encasing the glass, her eyes spying the year.
"It's imported from France and is a considerably good vintage. I thought you might enjoy it. It's so kind of you inviting me into your home."
"Nonsense. You're part of the team and clearly my daughter is taken with you." She winked; an action that caused immense confusion in the M.E. After all, it was apparent to her that Jane hadn't even entertained the idea of discussing what they had between the two of them, let alone involving a woman she had described as nosy and unsubtle on more than one occasion. Instead Maura smiled, relieved that the brunette had failed to hear that last part.
"So who else is coming?" Jane asked, cracking open the can and pouring the dark contents into a tall glass for the honey-blonde.
"Well I had asked your Aunt and Uncle but they're away and Frankie doesn't seem to be dating anyone so it's just the four of us today."
"That's fine by me." She grunted, relieved at the absence of other Rizzoli's at the table.
"Ma, if I was dating someone I'd sure as shit make sure she was the one before I brought her home for family fun." Frankie laughed, sipping his beer.
"Frankie! You could be nicer to your mother. And it certainly hasn't stopped Janie bringing Maura." She added, ushering them into the dining room.
"But they're not dating." He reminded her, noticing his sister shifting uneasily.
"Well a mother can dream. I always wanted my little girl to marry a doctor." She cooed, smiling at Maura.
"Jesus Ma! You'll be pushing kids on us next!" She groaned, her eyes flashing angrily.
"Would you like children Maura?" Angela asked, ignoring her daughter as she placed a huge casserole dish in the centre of the table. Frankie almost spat out his drink at the question, instead flashing a grin at his disgruntled sister.
"Well, I have to say that I haven't given it much thought as I believe you should have a stable and loving relationship before you entertain the notion of having a family." She replied logically. Although the topic wasn't necessarily one she would have chosen, she enjoyed the refreshing candour of Angela's conversational topics.
"Very sensible. Too many people these days are just popping out kids without a thought for how they're going to take proper care of them". She replied, before returning with dishes of vegetables. "Help yourselves to as much as you can eat. It's chicken in a red wine sauce."
"Thanks Ma." Frankie chimed, grabbing the ladle and filling his plate.
Maura smiled as she watched him clearing eager to enjoy Angela's cooking, as indeed was she. Jane served for her, ensuring she had enough of everything before taking care of her own dinner.
"So Maura." Mrs Rizzoli continued. "How is it that you became a medical examiner?"
"I always felt drawn to science and how things worked. I like facts and details so I pushed myself to learn more. As I got older I remember being fascinated by biology and knew I wanted to practice medicine in one form or another. During my degree I discovered that I was more at ease working with the dead." She said a little sheepishly, noticing Jane watching her. "They didn't ask anything of me but I could speak for them when they had no voice. I could make a difference."
"And I'm sure you do." Angela cooed, with a warm smile. "It's certainly nice to see another woman working in the department. It might help balance out all that testosterone."
"Yeah, and that's just coming from Jane." Frankie said laughing. Jane punched him the in arm. "Hey! That hurt."
"Well there's a doctor in the house." She smirked, eating another forkful of food.
"A dead people doctor." He barked back.
"Well, that can be arranged."
"Children! Please. I'm so sorry. They've always been like this, taking bites out of one another or breaking each other's noses."
"It was during basketball Ma." Frankie said.
"Well mine was." Jane grinned, earning her a kick from her brother.
"Yes I noticed that both of you had rather deviated septum's." Maura said, as if studying their faces to be absolutely sure of her diagnosis.
"Now you know the reason." The brunette replied.
"Yes my children certainly knew how to play well together." Angela sighed. "I'm sure you weren't raised to be as aggressive. You're so ladylike."
"I had no siblings to share that type of upbringing with, but I see that both Jane and Frankie love each other very much." She smiled.
"I don't know about that." Jane grunted, catching her brother's eye.
"No, me either. It's toleration at best." He grinned.
"Whatever it is you are both very lucky." Maura stated sadly, the tone not missed by the detective.
"You're the lucky one. Katie is simply wonderful. I'd kill to have her as my little sister."
"Oh yes. I love her immensely."
"She was a lovely little girl. So polite as well." Angela added.
"She is. I really enjoy spending time with her. I wondered if I would find it easy to relate to her, but she is surprisingly intelligent and funny too. So very different to how I was growing up, well except for my IQ of course." She clarified.
"You're welcome to bring her here anytime you like." The older woman said, giving the doctor's arm a little squeeze.
"You're too kind." Maura replied amazed by the hospitality she had been extended.
"Nonsense. I meant what I said the other day. You're family now, and anyway, it's lovely to have another lady around the place."
"What am I? Grilled cheese?" Jane husked, ignoring Frankie's laughter.
"You know what I mean Janie. Maura is just more…womanly. More refined. You should take a leaf out of her book and maybe some advice on dress sense while you're at it."
"Ma!"
"Actually Angela I think Jane has quite a unique style." She said with a soft smile, wanting to both defend her detective as well as securing the current favour she was no doubt in with her mother. "She may not be taken with dresses like I am, but she always carries herself wonderfully; so confident, and she certainly grabs attention."
"Well I suppose she does have a certain look." She conceded. "I guess I'll have to hope she brings home a lady one day so at least I can go shopping with my daughter-in-law." She added.
"Lucie was…" Frankie stopped himself mid sentence, suddenly aware of three sets of eyes on him, two of which looked like they could actually hurt. "Sorry." He muttered, pushing the remains of his dinner round his plate with his fork.
"It's ok." Jane said quietly, laying her cutlery down.
"No, it isn't I didn't think. We were just talking and I naturally…well you know, brought up the past."
"Just drop it. Please." The brunette said, her eyes fixed on her plate; her hands clutching at her knees under the table.
"Oh Frankie. Look what you've gone and done!" Angela said harshly.
"Ma, I said I was sorry and I am."
"Well maybe you should engage your brain before your mouth next time. You know that woman is never to be mentioned here."
The table was silent for several minutes as all but Jane finished the rest of their food, aware of the elephant in the room but no one daring to speak of it. Maura kept glancing across at the detective, hoping she could catch her eye to share a smile that may soothe her. She of all people had witnessed first hand the way Lucie had affected Jane.
"Let me help you clear." She said to Angela, standing and heading for the kitchen with both her plate and Frankie's.
"Thank you." The older woman replied, pleased for the distraction and a chance to get some time alone with the doctor. "I'll wash you dry." She smiled.
"Of course." Maura said happily, looking through to the dining room, cheerful at seeing Jane and Frankie talking together.
"So tell me. What brought you to Boston of all places?"
"Well I'm from here originally so I wanted to return as it feels like home. I already owned a property so when the position became available I moved back." The M.E. replied, omitting the period of agoraphobia she had experienced.
"Janie told me you spent a lot of time abroad."
"I did yes. Both with my schooling and my parents desire to see the world. I have somewhat of a busy passport."
"That must have been wonderful to travel. I've never even made it out of the country." She sighed.
"Maybe your time is yet to come." Maura said reassuringly.
"Hopefully, one day. I just seem to have always had my hands full with my children."
"You have a lovely family Angela."
"Thank you. That means a lot. Janie was right. You are a sweetheart." She smiled with a chuckle, her hands still busy in the bowl of hot soapy water.
Maura remained silent for a moment wondering whether or not to ask the question she was desperate to know the answer to.
"Jane talks about me?" She whispered, glancing over to the dining room and seeing it empty. She felt a sudden trickle of fear run down her spine at the prospect of them being overheard. She knew how fiercely private the brunette was.
Angela grinned. "A little, yes. Mainly I just pry. But I know my little girl better than she thinks, and I see the way she gazes at you when you aren't looking. I've only seen her do that once before. It pains me to say it was with 'her'." She hissed the word, before continuing. "A mother knows."
"I'm not sure what to say." She replied, feeling a rush of unease and wondering how transparent her own looks had been towards Jane.
"You don't have to say a word. Time will tell as it always does. All I've ever wanted is for my children to be happy."
"That should be what all parents wish for." She agreed, wishing the same could be said of her own.
"She's been through so much." Angela whispered, washing the last dish and handing it to the honey-blonde. "I was so proud when she got her promotion but not a day went by when I wasn't terrified for her. And then when she was captured by that…monster, I didn't think she would get through it. But then my Janie is one tough woman."
"She is very strong. No wonder you're proud of her. You have every reason to be." Maura answered, placing her cloth down on the side.
"I hope she realises what she has in front of her too." She smiled, taking one of the M.E's hands in her own.
"I'm not sure I understand?" She said hesitantly.
"Understand what?" Jane said stepping in to the kitchen and seeing their hands entwined.
"I was just explaining to Maura that you often fail to see what's out there in life Janie."
"You'd think she'd have other things to talk about wouldn't you?" The detective said with a smile directed straight at the honey-blonde.
"I was just helping with the dishes." Was the only response she thought of that didn't involve lying or an overly truthful dialogue.
"Well don't let my Ma bombard you."
"Can't your mother spend a little time with your friend without you checking up on her?" Angela said.
"Not when I know from bitter experience that said friend usually runs for the hills." She muttered with a wry grin.
"I'm fine Jane, really. I enjoy your mother's company."
"There you are. I told you not everyone thinks I'm an interfering old woman." She smiled, pulling a face at her daughter.
"Yeah, yeah. Listen, Frankie's heading off after the game so I came to see if you two were done in here?" She asked, steering the conversation away before her mother decided to get personal.
"Who's playing today?" Angela asked, pouring herself a glass of water.
"Tigers versus The Rangers."
"That should be good. You follow baseball Maura?"
"No. I haven't really had the time to watch any sport."
"Well it's been a tradition in this family since I married their father." She replied. "Of course we don't have to watch it as you're a guest here." She added, flashing Jane a look.
"I'd love to watch it actually. I wouldn't want you to do anything different just because I'm here."
"Oh Janie, this girl is simply marvellous. If you don't snap her up someone else will." She cooed, ushering them all into the lounge.
Jane rolled her eyes aware of Maura's gaze on her again at the comment, but ignoring the desire to meet hers, fearing her own reaction. Instead she offered to refresh drinks and returned with a tray and a couple of bowls of sweetened popcorn.
The game was long and tedious, with neither team making much of an impact on its audience, except for Frankie who seemed frustrated at the lack of excitement. Maura had listened avidly to Jane explaining the rules, memorising the details and replaying them in her mind until they made sense. If baseball was important to her detective it would be the same for her, or at least she would be able to understand and converse accordingly. The brunette had certainly appeared happy to illustrate the sport, clearly knowledgeable in a subject that until little over a week ago Maura had never paid any heed to.
When it came to leave Angela had made a fuss again, insisting that Jane take away the left over casserole to share with the M.E. at a later date, assuring her that it was suitable for home freezing without ruining the flavour. After saying their goodbyes the brunette drove them back to Maura's, the talk in the car light.
Pulling up onto the driveway, the honey-blonde sighed wishing that her day wasn't coming to the end she felt it was, as Jane remained belted in the drivers seat.
"You're welcome to come in? We could have some wine, maybe watch a movie together?" She volunteered, feeling decidedly unconfident in her suggestion.
"I should get back." The detective replied, her fingers twisting together on her lap.
"That's a pity. It's still so early." Maura murmured; her gaze firmly locked on Jane, watching the tension in her chiselled face.
"I know…I just…"
"You have things to do." The M.E. stated, answering for her as she unclipped her seatbelt.
"Maura…" The brunette whispered, finally meeting her eyes, so unsure of what to say next. "I'm not…I'm not really ready for company."
"You seem to have done well both yesterday and today." She replied a little curtly.
"That was different, I wasn't…"
"Alone with me. Yes I understand." She finished, opening the door and turning to leave, before she felt a warm hand on her shoulder holding her back.
"That's not what I was going to say." Jane muttered, her fingers unable to remain still against the soft fabric they were now caressing, her body reacting independently from her mind.
"Then what?" Maura whispered, refusing to look round.
"You saw me…at my lowest and now? Now I just don't know how to be around you." She breathed, scared at the honesty of her words.
Maura remained silent for a moment taking in the answer she had feared before formulating her reply and turning to deliver it.
"Jane what I witnessed was not your fault. You suffered at the hands of another and did what you felt would help you best to cope in the aftermath, however negligent that action may have been. I was glad I was able to help you, to comfort you. There is no shame in that, and no shame in what you have experienced in your life. As I've said before, I have no intention of going anywhere. You know where I am. I've had a wonderful time again with you this weekend. I hope you sleep better tonight."
With that she leaned in across the car and placed a tender kiss upon Jane's unsuspecting lips before smiling and closing the door behind her.
Jane watched in awe as Maura slipped out of sight and into her house, her heart screaming at her to follow even as her hands and feet were driving her away.