A/N: Yesterday's drabble, up now! This is a letter sent to Rachel from Jesse the beginning of December after season 1 ends.
Dear Rachel,
I'm sorry.
There, I said it. Or, wrote it, at least. I wish I could have said it to you then . . . before I cracked that egg on your head; before Vocal Adrenaline won at Regionals; before I got on that plane to California.
I don't know what would have happened. I mean, I'd still be here in L.A., obviously. A scholarship like this would be crazy to pass up. But maybe I'd be looking forward to seeing you at Christmas break, or talking to you on the phone. Instead of sitting alone in my dorm, with nothing to look forward over the Christmas holidays other than my parents' various dinner parties. Maybe we would've worked out as a couple; and if we hadn't, I'd like to think that we would've worked out as friends. Maybe I'd be out with someone else right now, having had the opportunity to get over you properly and move on without comparing every girl who flirts with me to you.
(Maybe I don't have the right to be hung up on you, after everything. But that doesn't change the fact that I am.)
You're amazing, did you know that? I didn't tell you that nearly as much as I should have while we were together. And I loved you; I told you that, I did. But at the time, it wasn't the truth. I felt deeply for you, that much I knew, but I don't think it was love until the end. And by then when I told you, more honest with you than I'd ever been before with anyone in my life, it was too late.
But I did love you; and don't you ever forget that.
Sometimes I think that I still do.
Those times when I think of you – think of your smile, and your hair, and your smell, and your voice, and your personality, and how you could barely go five minutes without talking or singing, and how you tended to act like a drama queen (though, to be fair, no more than I was a drama king) – I'm almost certain.
I never understood how Finn and . . . gosh, I don't remember his name, but the one with the Mohawk . . . could be over you. How they could not be still completely infatuated with you. Though, to be fair, Finn might've been. I never liked him much, for obvious reasons of course.
You're going to make it big, of that much I'm certain. I was being honest when I told you that being a star is not so much a dream as the inevitable for you. One day, your name's going to be up in lights; and you'll be winning Tonys left and right, taking the entire music world by storm. You and your amazing voice are going to wow the world, Rachel Berry. You're going to show them all what you're made of, and it's more than just some small town dreams. It's big city talent. And more heart than I ever had; more than anyone I've ever known. You're it, Rachel.
And when you're up there stunning the world, I'll be watching. When you forget the little people, and the pain I caused you is nothing but a distant memory, I'll be in the audience, cheering you on and proudly saying, 'I knew Rachel Berry when I was a teenager. Before you'd ever heard of her, I knew she was going places.'
I'm going to be so proud of you, Rach. I already am.
Don't ever forget that you're a star.
I love you.
Jesse
[He never sent that letter. But he flew often to New York, no matter what was going on, and saw every opening show she was in, as well as every Tony awards in which she had a nomination (which was many of them). And when the curtain fell down, or she was awarded the Tony, he clapped the hardest of anyone ever in attendance.]
A/N(2): This one came to me, and I absolutely loved writing it. And I'm pretty proud of how it turned out! Hope you like it too!
Today's is coming, I promise.
Please review!