A/N: Thanks a billion to each and every reviewer for taking the time to read and review. You're the only reason this story exists and I've had SO much fun writing it, so thank you, thank you, and thank you!
…
Help me. Please.
WHY did I get myself into this mess? What the hell was I thinking? Surely Jean and Kitty finding Remy in my room would have been less torturous than this. Because then, though it would not have been a pleasant situation for me, I would be with Remy right now, and NOT on a chair in front of the bathroom mirror as Jean and Kitty flit excitedly around me.
Oh, excuse me, I meant Jean and Kitty and Amara.
They're all flying around me like a bunch of wild geese—giggling and handing each other make-up and the hairbrush and talking over my head about the latest fashion in Vogel—or Vogue—whatever they called it magazine.
So far all my make-up has been removed by Kitty. And replaced with nothing…yet. And I'm not sure what she's going to replace it with. When I asked Kitty, she just laughed maniacally and wouldn't answer me.
Jean has started work on my hair. I actually like it so far. She's got it so that it's straight down to my chin but past that she's got a nice loose curls look going. This look actually works since my hair has grown down to my shoulders over the past few months.
Amara is working on picking out an outfit out of all her, Kitty's, and Jean's clothes combined. I'm very scared, and they know it. I think they're all just a bunch of lionesses out looking for their prey—and they just happened to find me, stupid and willing.
But at least I got them to let me agree before they did these things to me. Jean showed me a picture of what my hair would look like and I had approved, Amara has been running in with outfits for me to choose and so far I have refused all of them, and Kitty has removed my make-up which I approved of for some reason or the other.
For the past three minutes Kitty has been staring at my face in thought, irritating me with her scrutiny. I would have moved my head in another direction, but everytime I tried to move, Jean scolded me. And I understood why, exactly, the last time I had turned my head abruptly to look at something that Amara was holding up and I had burned my ear on the curling iron.
"Kitty!" I finally snap, "Why the hell do you keep starin at me?"
"Rogue, don't swear," she says absently as she continues to study my face. "I was trying to figure out what would look best on you and I think I have come to my decision."
"Please do," I mutter and she glares at me.
"You shouldn't wear that crap that you do wear, and I'm not going to put anything on you," she says with her hands on her hips. "Your face is too pretty for make-up, it hides all the good stuff."
"The good stuff?" I ask as I feel a flush creeping across my cheeks.
Kitty nods and picks up some mascara. "Yeah, like, your eyes are really big and bright, but the stuff you wear hides that. Here," she gets on her knees in front of me and starts applying the mascara. I feel like a doll that everyone is dressing up. Oh wait, I am.
"What about this, Rogue?" Amara asks excitedly as she skips into the room and shows me…um…my purple shirt and…my blue jeans.
I stare at her for a moment—surely—surely this is too good to be true.
"YES!" I say loudly and the mascara in Kitty's hand smears across my eyelid.
Scowling, she reaches up to clean it with a tissue as she glances at Amara.
"What is that?" Kitty asks, "She can't wear that, she wears it all the time!"
"I think it looks nice on her," Amara counters and sends me a wink.
Hm…Interesting. I have a feeling there is something more to this.
"Well sure it does," Jean says distractedly as she is concentrating more on my hair, "but we wanted something different."
Kitty suddenly stops rubbing the mascara off of my eye and turns to Amara suspiciously. "How much did he pay you?" She asks, standing up.
Amara chews on her lip nervously for a second. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Kitty narrows her eyes. "I'll double it. Whatever he paid you I'll double it."
They stare at each other for a long moment before Amara shrugs. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm serious about this though," she holds up my clothes. "Don't you think pairing this with her new look would be a fashion do? I think it would look awesome!"
Well, she certainly knows how to lay it on thick. And I'm thinking Remy had paid her to come in here and do this…and also that he knows how to save me. Let's just hope it works. Kitty looks the outfit over and then at me, and then back at the outfit. She looks like she's thinking it over, and I mentally try to will her to say ok.
Hey, it could happen.
Ok, it couldn't happen, but I can try anyway to make myself feel useful.
The bathroom door opens at that moment to admit a sullen Scott. I wonder vaguely why he didn't knock before he sits down on the counter and looks at us grumpily.
"What's a matter Scott?" I ask, though I'm sure I know whats wrong with him. All this week no one has forgotten his suggestive (yet impressive) dancing, and no one has let him forget it either. Even Jean can't help cracking a smile when she remembers it.
I notice Kitty and Amara start whispering to one another, then when Kitty sees that I'm watching she shoves Amara out into the hall and closes the door. I REALLY don't want to know what they're talking about.
Over on the counter, Scott turns to look at me with a grumpy look on his face. But when he sees the horrors that the girls have done to me, his expression lightens. "Hey Rogue, you're looking nice."
No I don't. I look stupid. Except for the hair, I kind of like it. But I wouldn't ever tell any of my friends that. They would probably decide that I was going to be their doll everyday. I shudder at that thought. They really would do it too, I have no doubt in my mind that they would.
I hope Amara wins the argument she's having with Kitty. I might be able to handle the no make-up and weird hair but I couldn't stand not being comfortable in my own clothes. And Remy had known that. At least, this is what I'm assuming, going by Amara's wink in my direction and Kitty's 'How much did he pay you?'.
Isn't he sweet?
Ugh, I need to stop having gushy thoughts like that. I sound like a corn monster. Remy has no idea that I have thoughts like that. No, this past week I've mostly been my normal self with him, only more tolerant. I haven't been all that nice to him, really. I actually tried one day, but then Remy had said something gross just to deliberately piss me off.
And it seems like the meaner I am to him, the more he likes me. Don't ask me why, I think he's just a sick freak.
But he's my sick freak.
Ah! Go away mushy thoughts! Who'd have thought you could turn sick freak into an endearment?
I wonder what Remy is doing right now…Is he thinking about me like I am about him? Is he wondering what I'm thinking about at this VERY moment? That would be weird. Or maybe he's just off being his normal rubber monster—I mean corn donkey—I mean…I forget the names…They'll come back in a minute.
Maybe he's just off doing…Remy things. Don't ask me what Remy things are, I don't know…I suppose Remy things would entail activities like plotting, scheming, being Cajun, having washboard abs, and being an evil mastermind.
Ok, time to stop thinking about Remy.
Remy…Remy…Remy….Remy…Remy…Remy…He has a nice name, I never realized it before.
Ah! No more Remy.
Now that was a dreary thought.
What I meant was: no more thinking about Remy. Or washboard abs.
Rubber donkey and corn monster! That was the names!
…If this is confusing you, I know exactly how you feel. I'm just as scrambled up in my thoughts right now as you are. I don't even remember what I started thinking about in the first place, but somehow it ended up with Remy and washboard abs and rubber donkeys.
Was it…something about…Um…I don't know.
"Done with your hair!" Jean says proudly and holds up a mirror for me to see.
Ooo! I like it. I look creepy. And when I say creepy, I mean it's creepy because it's different.
Amara and Kitty! That's what I was thinking about!
Oh, sorry, I did it again…
But Amara and Kitty were out in the hall arguing over what I am going to wear. But maybe I can escape while it's just Jean…She's standing next to me very closely, so trustingly…I could easily reach out and drain her…
Oh my…That was just wrong.
I've been hanging around Remy too much. He's rubbed off on me. That isn't good. Especially when I'm considering hurting my friends to get out of something that I agreed to go through in the first place. And…Dammit! Remy is back in my head again!
That man is persistent!
Wait…that didn't make any sense…
"Thanks Jean," I smile and start to stand up. "I'm gonna go see what Kitty and Amara are doing-"
But just as the words come out of my mouth, the two girls and for some reason, Bobby, walk into the bathroom. I stand and watch them wearily. Amara is still holding my clothes, but I don't know if they're going to let me wear them or force me into something else.
Amazingly, Amara tosses the clothes over to me.
"Your boyfriend got you out of having to dress up," Kitty says, sounding half like she approved of this action and halfway annoyed.
"Of course he did," Scott said, grinning.
"Rogue's got a boyfriend," Bobby says teasingly in a sing-song voice.
I feel my face coloring at this. Though I should have expected these reactions, I've been trying to prepare myself for them for the past week. I knew that the teasing was bound to happen, but that doesn't make it any easier to handle.
"I don't have a boyfriend," I say, though I know the color of my face is giving me away.
"And I can't walk through walls!" Kitty scoffs.
"Come on Rogue, there's nothing to be ashamed about," Jean says gently, but I see the smile playing on her lips.
"I'm not kidding—I don't have a boyfriend!" I say…maybe a little too loudly. "If none of you want to believe the truth, then that's your own faults."
Bobby looks confused. "I'm sorry Rogue, but I didn't understand a thing you just said." I stare at him blankly as he continues with a grin. "Probably because you're speaking the language of looooove!"
If I was red before, I don't know what color I am now. All I know is that my face is hotter than the six shades of hell. Everyone starts giggling at Bobby's words and I know that they're just getting started. I need to get out of here…But dammit! Kitty, Bobby, and Amara are all blocking the door.
"Shut-up!" I snap. "I am not! Remy and I are just team mates. We're hardly even friends."
They all start making kissing noises and laughing like a pack of hyenas.
Amara giggles. "I'm sorry, but all I heard you say was, 'love, love, love, love, love!'"
Kitty is also giggling. "Oh Rogue, I can just see it now! You and Remy-"
And I didn't hear anything else after that. All I heard was 'Remy' and a tingle of…something shot down my spine at the mention of his name. Good lord, all I have to do is hear his name and I get excited. I get all warm inside and my heart jumps…
Holy freakin cow.
I love Remy.
…I…I love Remy. I really must. It's…There's…there's no doubt about it. I. Love. Remy.
Everything that's happened, everything that I've felt is so very clear now. I felt it all because I love him. Wait…when did this happen? WHY didn't anyone TELL ME? Of all the times I have talked about my heart going wild and my knees going weak and I never thought of the most obvious answer before now?
And…and…Remy loves me.
He hasn't said it since he said it the first time, but he DID say it so it must be true.
But…what if he doesn't anymore? WHAT if it's JUST LIKE in Gone With the Wind? Oh my gosh…you don't know what I'm talking about. But in Gone With the Wind, Rhett loved Scarlett for years and years but just when he fell out of love with her, she fell in love with him and the whole thing turned to crap.
What if that happens with me and Remy? WHAT if he doesn't love me anymore? But…no…surely he didn't fall out of love in a week. I'm just getting myself worked up. It's been the best week in the history of all weeks (I'm sure of it) and I can't imagine that sometime in the midst of that happiness he would decide that he didn't love me anymore.
Wow, that thought is so sad. He BETTER still love me. If he doesn't, I am going to punch him in the face SO hard…
AW, but how could I hit him? I love his face. Just the thought of someone (even me) hurting him makes my stomach clench.
Seriously, the mushy stuff has got to stop now.
And even more seriously, I have to find Remy.
"Rogue, what's wrong?" Jean's hand is on my shoulder.
"She's going space cadet again." Kitty says, rolling her eyes.
"I…I, I have to go," I say in a subdued sort of voice. I hardly hear what they're saying; my mind is on where Remy must be. I have to find him; I have to tell him before he falls out of love with me.
What a stupid thought.
I'm stupid. Remy is not going to just flip-flop on his feelings like that.
But…What if he does?
Everyone in the bathroom gives me the same concerned look as I push past them to get out of the bathroom. I walk quickly down the hall to my room. Please let him still be there, please let him still be there!
Finally reaching my room, I open the door and run in. Remy isn't here. I throw the clothes in my arms on my bed as I pass it to check the bathroom. He's not in there either.
Ok, I'm not going to freak out. I'm acting stupid, I know, but you should be used to this by now. Come to think of it, so should I. I know I'm being stupid as I'm being stupid, so why do I keep acting stupid? I know when the stupidity is coming, yet I welcome it with open arms and run away with it.
Speaking of running, I sprint out of my room and across the landing to Remy's door. I knock three times before opening it and finding…nothing. He's not in his bathroom either. Ok, think. Think…where else would Remy be? The kitchen! Maybe he's getting something to eat!
I sprint out of Remy's room and down the stairs—to find that the foyer has been transformed.
I stop dead in my tracks as I take in the Pepto-Bismol pink decorations on everything. I stare in horror at the pink balloons to the pink frills to the pink flowers to the huge, pink banner saying happy sweet sixteen.
Wait…sweet sixteen?
"TABITHA!" I thunder and Tabitha flounces into view, carrying in a few packs of pink plastic cups.
"Hey birthday girl!" She says cheerfully as she continues over to a table covered in a pink tablecloth. "Like your decorations?" She asks and looks appreciatively around the hall.
"I hate them." I tell her in a voice filed with venom. "Since when do you think I like pink, and since when AM I SIXTEEN?"
"Stop yelling, you'll pop the balloons," she says as she starts to arrange the cups around a punch bowl filled with pink punch.
"Tabitha! Take these down! It is NOT my birthday, and I am NOT sixteen!" I yell at her and clench my fists at my sides.
"Rogue," she says and finally turns to me. She stops when she takes in my appearance. "Hey, lookin' good! Remy's gonna want to eat you when he catches a glimpse of this."
I blush despite my anger. Maybe Remy's right. Maybe everyone does know about us. Maybe I love Remy. No, it's a fact, I love Remy.
Crap, my mind drifted…What was I supposed to be thinking about?
"Shut-up!" I yell at Tabitha who just grins.
"Oh come on girl!"
"No YOU come on!" I yell. "Take this crap down now and uninvite those boys!"
As soon as the words tumble out of my mouth, the doorbell rings and Tabitha, grinning evilly, runs to answer it. I watch in horror as about fifty people, most of whom I barely recognize, pour in through the door. Tabitha enthusiastically greets them before running over to the stereo.
"Tabitha!" I run down the stairs in a last attempt to stop this madness. "This is ridiculous! What if the Professor comes home? What if something breaks? What if-"
But Tabitha completely ignores me in favor of turning on the stereo sky high and dancing away. I'm left standing there as Quad City DJ's blast into my ear, singing about a train...I like this song.
But that's not important right now!
The important thing is—there's Remy!
I never doubted that I love him, but if I had, I would have been proved wrong the moment I saw him. It was like the sun burst out in the midst of dark clouds and completely brightened up the room. How no one else notices this, I don't know, but he's all I see.
How could no one else see him like I do? How could I have ever told him that I didn't want him? How did I manage to reject him or put him down? I have no idea. I don't even remember why I said no in the first place. I feel like I was just being silly and stupid.
He must have heard the train song because he's coming out of the direction of the kitchen, followed by Kurt and Piotr. Piotr is looking stressed and Kurt is looking mad. Remy is searching the hall and finally he's eyes lock on mine and my heart leaps.
Yes, it's VERY mushy gushy right now.
I really need to control myself.
But as Remy starts towards me, I completely forget about this stupid party, and the butt-ugly decorations, and the fact that I feel weird with my hair and make-up different. None of that matters at the moment; all that matters is that I tell him how I feel. Because surely if I don't tell him, I'll explode with the feeling. I have to get it out, and now.
He reaches me and I ignore Kurt's raised eyebrow in our direction as I move forward to hug him.
Remy's looks a bit surprised by this, but hugs me back anyway.
"You missed me that much?" he asks teasingly in my ear. "We were only apart for an hour."
Wait…Isn't this the guy who told me to jump on him because I was gone for three hours? What a hypocrite...But I guess I have no room to talk. I'm a bigger hypocrite than he is. I pull back and look at him seriously. "Remy, I have to tell you something," I say quietly.
I would just tell him right now, but it doesn't really seem like quite the place with Quad City DJ's blasting in our ears, Kurt quirking his eyebrow at us, Tabitha staring, and the fifty or so strange people jumping around everywhere. Not to mention the gross decorations.
Remy looks a little worried but nods. "Ok…But right now? It looks like you're busy right now."
I shake my head quickly. "No, I want to tell you now."
A look flashes across his face—almost like fear but I've never seen Remy look honestly scared before so I can't be totally sure what it is.
"I think we should wait until this is over." He tilts his head in the direction of the party. "By the way, you look exquisite."
"Yeah, whatever," I wave the compliment off in a hurry. "But I have to tell you right now, it's important. Let's go outside."
"How about you tell me when I give you my present?" he purrs as he leans closer.
"A present? Why did you get me a present?" I ask, aware that Kitty, Jean, Scott, Amara, and Bobby are coming down the stairs and watching us.
But I don't really care right now. That problem seems miniscule next to the one I'm currently encountering. This is very weird. I have NEVER known Remy to pass up an opportunity to get me alone. And why does he look worried?
He fingers my earlobe with his thumb as he says quietly, "It's your birthday. I thought you should have something very special."
Ok, now I'm worried. Not only because he won't let me tell him, but because…
"Remy, I don't want to have sex!" I blurt out just as Coconut Head and Lumberjack Lady are passing us.
Wait…Coconut Head and Lumberjack Lady?
"Hey Rogue! Happy birthday!" Coconut Head says enthusiastically.
I look over at him, VERY confused. WHY is Coconut Head here?
Tabitha. Damn her!
"Guess what?" Coconut Head says excitedly before both he and Lumberjack Lady hold up their left hands to present identical gold rings.
"We got married!" Lumberjack Lady squeals before she looks lovingly over at Coconut Head.
Coconut Head meets her gaze and then two seconds later, they're all over each other, their mouths going a mile a minute, their hands clinging on to one another for dear life.
Remy and I just watch in a confused sort of daze.
"Oh gross," I mutter out of the corner of my mouth to him. "It looks like he's eating her face."
"And it looks like she's enjoyin' it too," Remy says, sounding amused.
They go for another minute like this before they stumble backwards into the wall where their make-out session turns into something more that I don't feel comfortable watching.
"So…" Remy says after a quiet moment, "You said somethin about sex?"
I feel myself flush at this, remembering my hasty words. "Yes," I mutter, "I don't want…I just…I'm not ready…"
He nods with a smirk on his face. "Ok, that's fine, but that's not what I was thinking of giving you. Unless, of course, you insist…"
"Shut-up...And it's not my birthday so you don't have to give me anything."
"Actually, it's your," he looks back up at the banner and looks back at me with a grin, "sweet sixteen. I guess this makes me a pedophile."
I roll my eyes as he chuckles.
"Oh, and can we please talk about the robot?" he asks.
For a moment I don't get what he's saying. Then I remember my stupid distraction tactics with Kitty and Jean.
"NO." I glare at him and he grins.
"Rogue, you did the robot."
"I know I did the damn robot!" I snap, flushing at the memory.
Just as these words come out of my mouth, Kitty bounces over and sticks her head in-between ours.
"Hi love birds!" she says in a disgusting voice dripping with honey.
I really want to drain her.
I mean…Uh…Ok, yeah, I want to drain her.
"What do you want?" I ask rudely.
"Rogue, be nice!" She pouts.
"Kitty, get lost," I counter, becoming more and more annoyed that I can't get Remy alone. This is the first time that that has ever happened. Why won't Remy just come outside with me? Why does he look worried? Does he think I'm going to tell him something that he doesn't want to hear?
But…what if he doesn't want to hear what I have to tell him?
"Jeez! What crawled up your butt and died?" Kitty snaps at me.
Remy coughs suddenly, hiding a grin behind his hand.
Grrr…
"Ok, Kitty," I say sweetly, "what is it that you need?"
"Um…" Kitty suddenly looks like she's at a loss for words. Ha! Just what I thought. She just came over here to spy on us! "I wanted to see if uh-"
She was cut off by Kurt who chooses this moment to come up on our other side. Remy and I are still facing each other, but Kitty is between us on my right and Kurt on the left. I observe with some curiosity that Kitty's cheeks have gone pink, but Kurt is still looking mad. It's weird; it's so rare to see Kurt mad.
"Kitty," Kurt says as his eyes bore into her like knives. "Are you done avoiding me now?"
"Uh—" Kitty says nervously as she looks from me to Remy. "I wasn't avoiding you, and I can't speak right now—Rogue and I were um-"
"Finished!" I say with an evil grin on my face. This is fun. "I'm done with her; you can have her now, Kurt."
Kurt suddenly jerks his gaze in my direction. "Is that what you think? You think I really want-"
"Kurt, shut-up!" Kitty snaps just as I perk up.
"What?" I ask excitedly, "What is it? Let it all out, Kurt," I pat his arm consolingly.
Remy is shaking his head at me, but looking entertained anyway. Kitty looks like she wants to run away, I'm trying not to look like I'm enjoying this at all, and Kurt looks about ready to explode. Huh. Weird.
"Well you see, Rogue," Kurt says to me, "Kitty was apparently under the delusion that I was chasing her-"
"You were!" Kitty snaps, suddenly looking mad too.
Kurt jerks his attention back to her. "We made out ONCE—" he nearly yells and ignores my burst of 'WHAT!' and continues, "that does not mean that I am in love with you!"
"We only stopped making out because Tabitha caught us! And—and you said pick me!" Kitty yells back, her hands gripping her hips.
Kurt gives her an incredulous look. "I said that when you were picking a partner for that stupid project at school! That does NOT mean pick me!"
"Um…" I say in-between them, "Actually it does if you look at it a certain way…and Kitty, why did you tell me that Kurt was chasing you?"
Kitty shrugged at me but kept her glare on Kurt. "Oh, I don't know. You had Remy pursuing you and it all looked so exciting. I just wanted to be interesting."
Kurt gaped at her and then said something—er—very not nice.
And that's when they start yelling at each other. Piotr (poor thing) makes his appearance at this moment, looking at the two squabbling and shaking his head. Remy is shaking with laughter while I'm trying to discern exactly what is being said.
"YOU ARE SO! SO! SO!" Kitty yells, her face getting redder and redder.
"Kitty," Piotr says gently and reaches down to take hold of her elbow.
In a classic Jerry Springer-like moment, Kitty whirls without any warning and slaps Piotr across the face. Though music is still blasting, everyone nearby turns and we all stare with our mouths open at this. Poor Piotr—he doesn't look hurt he just looks shocked…and kind of angry.
Kitty covers her mouth with both hands, he eyes wide. "Oh…Piotr—I'm sorry, I didn't think."
It goes to Piotr's credit with me that he didn't just slap her right back, strangle her, scream at her, or even give her a dirty look. He drops her arm, straightens up, and says calmly, "Why?" Before turning and walking off.
Well there's a million dollar question. I can't figure 'why' about any of this. Why Kitty said that Kurt was chasing her, why she slapped Piotr, why Piotr asked a question and then walked off before he got the answer, and why I am really enjoying myself. What? Maybe it's messed up, but this is almost as good as a soap opera…
Oh NO!
NOOO! We forgot all about Days of Our Lives! Oh come ON! It was JUST getting good! Ok…NOW I'm upset.
Crud crackers.
Kitty watches Piotr walking off with a sad look on her face. "Piotr!" she suddenly screams as she chases after him. "Don't run away, I love you!"
I stare after them as Kurt rolls his eyes and walks off in the opposite direction. Remy and I are quiet for a few moments before he asks, "What just happened?"
I shake my head. "I have no idea…but I'm gonna go see if Kurt is ok," I tell him before going off towards were Kurt is standing at the refreshments table snickering. Wait…snickering?
"Uh…are you ok?" I ask him just as he starts reaching for the chips.
He shrugs. "Yeah, I'm fine." Then he turns and sees the concerned look on my face and laughs. "Don't worry; I was just messing with her. I really did chase her for like ten minutes before I got bored. I'm mad at her, but not about that."
I stare at him for a long moment, trying to figure out when and why Kurt had become so evil. "Uh…what are you mad at her for?"
"She borrowed my favorite pencil and never gave it back," he said in a voice that promised vengeance. "Oh, and also, she found out that I was playing both sides of the bet and told everyone."
Hm, going by the fact that no one has completely flipped out, I guess they haven't noticed what Remy did yet.
And what did Remy do, you ask?
He told me last night (with a very satisfied smirk on his face) that no one would be getting any cash that they had put into the bet. After I had stared at him for a moment, he had proceeded to explain to me that Kitty had hid the money in a bad hiding place (in the back of her closet) and that it had been very easy to slip in and take.
When I stared at him in horror, he told me not to worry about it, that he had done it over a week ago and no one had noticed yet.
Then when I asked him what he did with the money, he told me that he had bought me Gone With the Wind, four bouquets of sunflowers, and then got gas in his bike and paid his phone bill.
…Anyway…
And back to the subject, Kurt was mad over a stupid pencil? Poor Piotr got slapped in the face over a pencil? Kitty borrowed Kurt's pencil and never gave it back? What kind of person does that? I mean, how could you borrow something that someone was nice enough to lend you and then never give it back? And also, why am I thinking about this? How did my mind drift from, 'I've got to tell Remy that I love him', to 'pencil, pencil, pencil, Kurt, Piotr's face, pencil.'?
Oh! That reminds me—I had a dream last night about pencils…Something about coconuts and rattle snakes and the Mona Lisa…I don't know. And washboard abs were there, of course, they're always there so it wasn't any big deal…
And now my mind has gone from Remy to Kitty, Kurt, and Piotr to pencils to dreams to coconuts to rattle snakes to the Mona Lisa and then to washboard abs…And now I'm thinking of toasters for some reason.
Poppity Poptarts! I forgot Remy. I have to tell him that I…what was it? Oh yeah, that I love him.
…I guess it doesn't reflect well on me that I temporarily forgot that, does it?
But I love Remy and I have to tell him…And he's gone. Great, he's run off to go do Remy things and I'm never going to be able to tell him. He's probably off right now, forgetting all about me and falling straight out of love—
"Rogue," a voice says into my ear and I scream and jump a foot in the air.
I turn to find Remy (damn him!) grinning at me.
"Ok, how did you do that?" I ask.
"Do what? I walked over here."
"You disappeared!" I wave a hand over to where he was standing just five minutes ago.
He shrugs. "I don't know what you're talking about."
I can feel Kurt watching us with some interest as he hogs a plate of chips down. I cast a sideways glance at him before responding to Remy.
"Ok, whatever, I still need to talk to you."
There was that worried look again. I don't like it—it makes me want to give him a hug. He must think that I have something bad to tell him, though I can't figure why. Oh, wait…But of course, he must be doing the same thing I have been doing for the past hour. Jumping to conclusions.
"It's not a bad thing," I tell him quickly, "It's a good thing."
He looks at me curiously. "Really? Well, in that case," he takes my hand and leads me outside.
I turn red when I catch a glimpse of Tabitha right before we walk through the front door, nodding appreciatively at us and making an obscene gesture. I glare at her and make an even more obscene gesture with my middle finger in her direction—to which she just laughs at.
As we walk out, people keep wishing me happy birthday, then when I tell them that it's not my birthday, they either look confused or argue with me, as if I don't know when my own birthday is.
Whatever.
According to the news, spring is just right around the corner, but you couldn't tell that by just walking outside. The air is still cold and biting and I shiver when we step out into it, prompting Remy to put a warm arm around me and draw me close.
We're silent for a few moments as we make a path down past the side of the house, the blaring music from the house dying away with every step we take away from it.
"So..." Remy says as we slow our pace.
Ok, here goes…I can do it…I can…Oh my lord I can't do it. NO! I can. It's not hard. It's not hard at all. I can say love, and I can definitely say it to Remy.
"Remy," I say quietly and we finally stop walking as he turns to me.
"Yes, Rogue?"
"Um…" I bite my lip, "I was thinkin earlier-"
"Wait a second," he says and takes hold of my hand. "I just wanna say somethin first."
"But-"
"No, let me." If he wanted me to soak in anything that he was planning to say he should take a few steps back. He's much too close to me now—I can feel warmth radiating from his body, hear his breathing and smell his Remy scent. I find it odd that his breathing seems a tad irregular…surely that short walk we just took didn't do that.
He's looking down at me, his expression somewhere between concern and nervousness.
"I love you," he says and my heart leaps. "I love you, a lot…I don't know if that scares you—honestly I don't think I'd blame you, because it scares me."
Remy was scared? Why would he be scared of love? Oh, wait, I did that too. I guess Remy and I are more alike than I thought. He must think that I am scared because he slides an arm around my middle and pulls me to him. Great, now I'm not going to be able to hear him—not with the way my pulse is pounding in my ears.
"And I want you to know," he says in low voice, "Even if you don't love me back, I won't be able to stop. You're my chérie and I'll love you forever."
Ok, I can't let him say something like that and not tell him.
"Remy-"
"Wait," he puts a hand in his pocket and pulls out Trask's inhibitor. "I tweaked this," he holds it up for me to see while he watches my expression. "It's going to last for a long time now, if you'll have me, that is."
How could he think that I wouldn't…Oh yeah.
I have to tell him now—"Remy,"
"It'll last for twenty years."
The words die on my lips as he makes this statement. Twenty years? That is a hell of long time. It's certainly a lot longer than five years. And that's a big commitment—telling someone that you'll be with them for twenty years. Remy seems—not confident as I would like to say—but nervous as he makes this announcement.
And why—Oh my God.
Did he say twenty years? Twenty years. TWENTY YEARS. Twenty freaking years. Remy loves me and wants to be with me for twenty years? Why is this just now hitting me? This is a lot to soak in. I'm not supposed to be able to touch Remy at all, and he's found a way to make me able to be with him for twenty years.
Whoa.
"Are…Are…are you serious?" I manage to stutter.
He nods, "Oh, actually, its twenty three years," he says as he carefully watches my face. I guess I should say something before he thinks that I'm going to turn him down. How could I pass up twenty three years to be with my Remy?
"Remy," I look up at him and I've never been so sure of what I'm about to say. Who'd have thought it was so hard to tell someone that you love them? I've faced Magneto, every mutant hater at school, explosions, the Brotherhood, men with machine guns, and giant robots trying to kill me, but nothing is as scary as this.
This is a different kind of fear—it's not the kind of fear you get when you're in the middle of a battle and you think 'I hope my arm doesn't get blown off', because you know all the dangers and possibilities that go with that kind of thing. But this is a fear of jumping into the unknown—a fear of losing something that I so desperately don't want to lose.
But I'll be damned if I ever lose Remy, and I'll be damned if it's because I can't say love.
I grip the front of Remy's coat and pull him down towards me. "I love you, Remy."
Now it's his turn to look like he's been smacked. He stares disbelievingly at me for a long, quiet moment. I'm shivering—and I know it has nothing to do with the cold weather.
Finally, he blinks. "You do?"
Well, I guess it's better than 'no you don't!'
I nod quickly. "I do—I love you—that's what I was tryin to tell you while you were lollygagging around inside."
"Lollygagging?" he asks blankly.
Oh come ON, is that all he heard?
I press myself up against him and place both of my hands on his neck. Being this close I can feel his wild heartbeat up against me. Huh…do I have the same affect on him that he does on me? How interesting.
"Yes, stupid. I love you," I tell him, "Now kiss me, Cajun."
He looks at me for about two seconds before he slowly grins. "You've got it, chérie."
And he kisses me—quite fiercely.
I can't get close enough to him. I wrap my arms completely around his neck and kiss him as hard as I can—he's got one hand behind my head and the other still wrapped around my middle, pulling me closer. I can't breathe and I don't care. If I can suffocate from kissing Remy then that would be the perfect way to go.
Wow, that was dramatic.
I can't help but notice that Remy is trembling, all over. Or maybe that's me—I'm doing quite a lot of that myself. Mountains are crumbling, ocean waves are rolling dangerously, sparks are flying everywhere, and we're both on fire. All those stupid things you read about what people feel when they fall in love—wouldn't you know it, they were all true.
Except mountains crumbling and sparks flying are nothing compared to way Remy kisses. It was nothing compared this—this elation, this helplessly happy feeling that assures you that everyday from on is going to be bright, even if this moment is all you get. Because if I never get to kiss Remy again, I can always live on this moment, on this feeling.
Except that a future without my Remy is just not a future worth having.
The rest of the world does not exist—all that exists in this moment is me and Remy and nothing—
"Oh my God, you GUYS!"
I couldn't have stopped if the moon had fallen down and hit me. But to my disappointment, Remy pulls back. It takes me a moment to get back to earth, to get my mind straight again to see what made Remy stop. I look over to see Kitty and Piotr standing there next to the azalea bushes.
Piotr is beet red and looking very embarrassed. Kitty, however, has got her fists clenched in excitement in front of her and is bouncing on the balls of her feet.
Oh, son of a BITCH!
"EEEE! This is SO exciting!" Kitty squeals, "Now we can double date! Me and Piotr and Rogue and Remy! Yes, Piotr and I have made up. I know, exciting, right? But anyway—Yay! I knew it! I knew it all along! You're welcome," she winks at me, "you can call me cupid Kitty from now on if you like. Wait…How are you two kissing? Oh, never mind—let's just remember that I am GOOD. Oh! Let's all go the mall! Or bowling! Or dancing! YES, let's go dancing! Hey, where are you going?"
She was calling after us, but Remy and I had already started a mad dash back towards the house.
…
Somehow we are able to sneak through what is becoming an alarmingly wild crowd—amid happy birthday wishes and Tabitha's knowing look. We got all the way up to my bedroom where Remy slams the door and locks it before turning to me.
We stand in silence and stare each other down for a few moments.
"I love you too," he says finally before leaning down and kissing me on the cheek.
"None of that," I put my arms around his neck and pull him closer. "Kiss me the right way."
He smirks, and placing his hands on my back, he leans down and teasingly brushes his lips against mine. It's not even a kiss—it was just a movement but it drives me crazy anyway. Not just because it was, well, Remy lips—but because he still isn't kissing me.
"Like this?" he whispers with that smirk in place.
Oh he knows he's driving me crazy now. I really want to kiss him…or pinch him…It's a very odd combination.
"Rogue," he says quietly, "Since you love me now, where do we stand with the whole—twenty years thing?"
I'm trembling again. I bite my lip before I answer—I have to be careful with everything I say right now, right? I don't want to say the wrong thing. What if Remy…Wait a second…I'm stupid. Of course Remy wants me for that long; he's the one that made it possible.
"I still love you," I say, and my voice suddenly sounds very small and quiet and not mine at all, "and I'm positive that I'll still love you in twenty years."
"So…it's a yes?"
"It's a hell yes, if you don't mind my company."
Yay, Remy grin is back! It lights up his whole face—I've never seen him happier. Everything about him is radiating happy and it's highly contagious. I'm a corn monster, aren't I? He kisses me right this time, but gently—unlike all the other kisses he's given me. Either this is better or it's equally earth shattering, but all the same I start to drown in him before he abruptly pulls back.
To my disappointment, he pulls away from me, still with his crooked grin in place. He walks the short distance to my bed and flops down on his back.
"Ok Rogue," he says seriously, "You can have your way with me now."
Oh sweet mother. My face burns as I try to glare at him. "Remy, I said I didn't want-"
"I know what you said, chère," he says reassuringly, "just have your way. Whatever that way may be."
This does nothing to get rid of my blush. The only thing that I really want to have my—er—way with is the washboard abs.
I can't believe I just said that.
I go over and sit awkwardly on the edge of the bed, trying not to touch him. "Hey," I say suddenly as for some reason, an earlier thought pops into my mind. "Is that why you wanted me? Because you love me?"
He nods slowly as he pulls my hand over to him and places it right on his stomach. Oh my word.
"I've loved you for a long time now," he says matter-of-factly, "Ever since that day that we kissed at Trask's factory. Remember?"
How could I forget? "That long?"
"Mhmm," he nods as he starts splaying my fingers out across his stomach. And—Oh for craps sake—I can feel them. I can feel the washboard abs. Wow, they're hard. OOO washboard abs! But wait, no, I can't let the washboard abs take over my mind. There was something else I wanted to ask Remy…
Oh yeah.
"Answer me a question," I say quickly, trying not to feel the abs under my fingers, "I'm wondering…Why didn't you just say that in the first place? Why did you come along and act really annoying for weeks before you started acting nice to me? Why didn't you just tell me you loved me when you fell in love?"
He gives me disbelieving look. "Are you serious? If I had told you I loved you then, you would have skinned me alive."
Yeah, I guess he's right. Stupid question.
"As for the other questions," he says, "Not only was annoyin' you the most fun I've ever had, but if I had come along and acted gentlemanly that wouldn't have been very honest would it? It would have put you under the delusion that I'm a decent guy, and you and I both know better." With a wink, he lifts my hand and kisses it.
"And my beautiful Rogue, surely you know that it's one thing to be rejected when you're just flirting, but it's a whole other thing to be rejected when you pour your heart out."
I feel stupid now. And loved. That, also, is a weird combination.
He pulls me to him, and I go reluctantly—but all he does is let me lay next to him while he holds me close.
"I can't quite explain to you in proper words the place you hold in my heart." he says quietly while he stares me down, "But don't ever doubt that you're always there. I couldn't get you out even if I wanted to try."
Oh, there goes my heart again, melting away. What exactly do you say back to that? What can I possibly say that won't sound halfhearted or weak after that?
"I love you, Remy," is all I've got.
But judging by the look on Remy's face, it's enough. He grins broadly as he rolls us over so that I'm on top of him.
"Ok, you can have your way with me now." He smirks as I glare at him. "And Rogue," he says teasingly, "Be gentle with me."