Homeward Bound: An Alternate Version of In the Hands of the Goddess

By Saphron

A/N: Oh god, part songfic, with of all things…Mariah Carey! (Disclaimer: she owns the song) Oh, but I couldn't help it…the holiday spirit has got me :-D I was feeling festive, so there's eggnog galore in this short little chappie. Yay! (Er, sorry it is so short...)

By the way, if you go back and reread some parts, you'll realize there was evidence pointing to Lord Oppenheimer's little crush all along—some of my readers even guessed it ages ago! I try and hint at these things, y'know…it's like a mystery…all the little details count, just remember that. ;)

And finally, I want you to know I really appreciate it when you guys say my writing has improved; that means the world to me. I'm an intended English writer—I need my writing to not suck, lol. My whole career kind of depends on it…so yeah, the encouragement is fabulous. If my writing does indeed improve, I thank fanfiction and books, because lots of times reading other's work inspires you to write your own. Usually I feel motivated to turn out another chapter after reading a different fic! So yeah. Yay for reading!

On with the show!

Chapter 26: The Midwinter Spirit of Thick White Goo

Carthak, the city:

The Sandlot Inn was buzzing with noise, as everyone gathered to celebrate for some pre-Midwinter festivities. Tomorrow night they'd enact their raid on Penikth's house, but tonight, ah tonight they were free to enjoy themselves! The days were growing cooler and the holiday spirit was in the air. Wreaths of garland and sprigs of mistletoe hung in doorways and ceiling candles, red and gold banners were strung about the barstools and windowpanes, a pine tree in the corner was bedecked with sparkling glass balls, and everywhere people were cheery, toasting their friends and loved ones, and in general having a merry old time.

"Here laddy, th' Chief says ter bring ya an eggnog, on her!" One of the Arabian Knights hiccupped, handing Jon a big frothy mug of thick white goo, most of which sloshed onto his clean white shirt. Jon grimaced—now he'd have to do laundry, again—and sniffed the cup's contents gingerly. What was this strange stuff?

Saraiya grinned, seeing his wary expression. "T'is the midwinter drink! Doncha 'ave it in Tortall?" She asked, eying him curiously.

"Nope," he replied, taking a cautious sip. "Hey, this is good!"

"'Course it is," Saraiya snorted, "would I give ye poison?"

Jon looked at her askance and muttered, "actually, you just might."

She cuffed him lightly on the back of his head, causing his face to take a nosedive into the goblet. He surfaced with a dollop of froth perched on the bridge of his nose, "hey!" he exclaimed. Mithros he was getting tired of the girl!

She snickered, "too bad ye'll be leavin' us soon, ye were right entertain' t'play with."

"Speaking of leaving…" Jon said slowly, wiping his shirtsleeve to clean his face, "have you any word about Crow's Lane?"

"Aye," Saraiya nodded, "me information network has told me tha' Crow's Lane is a tower 'n a small but hearty fief located a day's ride south. The Lord who lives there is an anti-social mage who rarely comes ter court, preferin' ter stay home and work on his experiments. That's why no one has heard o' the place, th' fella hardly ever pokes his nose out! Only for really big, important social events, like that party Penikth threw, and th' Emperor's upcomin' ball, most likely. Ter get there, ye gotta head down th' main road south, branch off when ye get to Pine Forest, and take the trail inwards a bit till ye hit th' manor. It shouldn't be hard ter miss from there, th' thing's fifty feet tall!"

The light in Jon's eyes gleamed—finally! He knew where Alanna was! All he had to do was go rescue her! He chuckled at the thought of saving his squire—a lady in need! It was so cliché, Alanna would smack him if he dared call her that. She was the one who always wanted to go on great adventures and "rescue damsels in distress." But this was how the cards were laid, and it looked like Jon would have to be the rescue hero.

Saraiya's eyes narrowed, "I should'na told ye that…"

"Why not?" Jon questioned, looking puzzled, "it was part of our arrangement, remember?"

"Aye. But now yer probably gonna go run off to find yer little love and leave me 'n me men high 'n dry," Saraiya said slowly, glancing away from his gaze.

Jon decided to ignore that "little love" bit—he and Alanna were not involved, even if, well, recently he had become rather confused about certain…feelings…he had developed…but still! Most definitely not involved! Right, well, deciding to disregard that particular comment, Jon cupped Saraiya's chin and turned her face towards him. Normally she gazed fearlessly at all she spoke too—it wasn't like her to avoid eye contact. He infusered his tone with as much sincerity as he could muster, and said, "Saraiya, listen. I promised you I'd help, and I will! I won't back out on my word."

"That's what they all say," she growled, although her tone was a decibel too soft. Did Jon detect a hint of sadness from the Lady Chief?

Jon shook his head, "look Saraiya, what I failed to mention before…well, I'm a full grown Knight of the Realm, I mean a real knight, of the King of Tortall—" here she gasped and dropped her jaw in shock—"and as such I am an honorable man, sworn to my oath to protect and helps others in need. I won't leave you, not until the job is done, ok?"

Silently, Saraiya gulped, and then nodded. For some reason she felt compelled to trust the piercing blue eyes of the handsome young man who had wandered into her inn and boldly requested her help. There was an earnestness about him, a sense of dignity, and morality. The Lady Chief rarely liked—and even more rarely trusted—men, she had been hurt one too many times by them to be so open with her heart, but there was something about this Jonathan of Tortall. Something about him indeed…

"So," she coughed, "are ye gonna drink that eggnog, or am I?"

Carthak, Crow's Lane:

Alanna hummed as she made dinner. She couldn't remember where she picked up the jolly little tune, but for some reason it was stuck in her head, try as she might to get it out.

"I don't want a lot for Midwinter, there is just one thing I need…" she sang, whipping the cream in her bowl into a fluffy white frosting. "I don't care about the presents, underneath the Midwinter tree…I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know! Make my wish come true... All I want for Midwinter is YOUUUUU... YEAHHH YEAHHH!" She belted, her voice carrying across the kitchen and throughout the tower.

Binney came barging in, "Blimey O'Reilly's trousers, what was that racket? I heard yellin'! Who've been hurt? Is it Mr. Sunshine, me poor precious kitty? I swear I heard her a-howlin'…"

Lord Oppenheimer was a beat behind her, as he had to clamor down from the top of his tower room, whereas Binney had merely been a stone's throw away in the main antechamber dusting some vases. He looked around wildly, equally confused by the noise—what in the Hag's name had just shrieked?

Alanna scowled in offense—her singing did not resemble cat howling, thankyouverymuch! And she toldher friends that, trying to control her rising temper.

The slave woman chuckled, "aye, so that's what it was…I could'na tell, I thought somethin' was a-dying…"

Lord Oppenheimer winced painfully, "er, not that your, er, singing—I presume it was singing? Right, well, not that it wasn't lovely, but ah…y'see…our ears…well…they can't take it anymore!" He burst out, causing Alanna to gasp in fury. Before Lord Oppenheimer could blink, a great big glob of frosting was lodged firmly in his hair. He glanced up and wiped off the thick white goo. Alanna stood grinning, still clutching her spoon in typical catapult readying position, and tried to bite down her laughter.

With a quirk of his mouth, the mage flicked his fingers, causing the entire bowl of frosting to rise in the hair and turn upside down—right on top of Alanna's head.

She shrieked—loudly. "Oh, you are so dead!" She cried.

The food fight that subsequently broke out became legendary. Cake batter was splattered on the walls, all three participants were covered head to toe in fine cooking powder, and Mr. Sunshine the cat ended up with vanilla frosting in his whiskers.

Midwinter Spirit was in the air.

…Saphron…


A/N: All right, I know this was a bit of a filler chapter, and it didn't really move the plot forward much…but honestly, I'm studying my ass off for finals, and I need a break! The holidays are on my mind so I thought it'd be perfect to write about it. If you're annoyed by the lack of substantial action, I'm sorry. Next chapter the raid will happen for sure, I promise, ok? And at least here Jon found out where Alanna is located and how to find her so, it wasn't completely useless... Seeya soon!