Chapter Twenty Six
No, it couldn't be happening again, not again!
The bastard Pflaster had somehow gotten the drop on her and knocked her out. She woke up in her apartment, bound and gagged and within sight of the bathroom door where he was calmly running a bath for her. She tried to scream as loud and hard as she could, but the duct tape over her mouth didn't let a sound escape from her no matter her effort.
She desperately tried to get loose from the binding on her wrists and ankles, but he had made sure she had no way of escape this time.
Then she saw him in the light, his figure silhouetted like some harbinger from hell and he turned to her so that she could see his face. It was ghastly, darkness made of pure evil, and eyes that glowed red in eternal damnation.
She screamed as he began to walk towards her…
Dana woke with a start, took a deep breath and tried to gather herself together, tried to still her thumping heart. After a few moments she sighed and settled back against Mulder's chest.
She bit her lip, deep in thought and was surprised, when Mulder's mouth suddenly descended on hers. Distracted, she kissed him back. He pushed against her and she knew that he wasn't at all sleepy when she looked into his lust filled eyes.
"Mmm, Mulder? We just woke up," she protested weakly but her body was already responding to his morning wood as he began to kiss her and move against her, creating a fiction between them, her nightmare rapidly fading away.
"That's never stopped us before," he murmured in her ear before nuzzling her neck.
She sighed, and leaned her head back, giving him her neck which he proceeded to kiss every portion of before finding her mouth again. Her hands found him and she was pleased with how deliciously hard he felt. He groaned at her touch and she melted a little inside knowing that she was the only one that he would ever respond like this to, she had the power over him that no one else had. Without words, she guided him into her and as one they began to rock together, slowly, taking their time to pleasure each other in ways that only they knew how to do. Maybe eventually they would get out of the hotel, but it could still be a few hours.
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Two days later the Captain returned home. He concentrated on his wife, and discovered that she was in the living room going through some papers, so he popped into the room and stood before her.
"Oh, God! Daniel! You scared me to death!" Carolyn scolded, but then smiled at him.
"My apologies, my love, "he said opening his arms as she stepped into them. "I did not mean to alarm you."
"You're forgiven, but only if you kiss me."
"Such a demanding woman," he said, and brought his lips down to hers. They enjoyed an extended kiss before surfacing for air. "Better?"
"Much." She took his hand and led him to the couch so they could sit down. "We have to talk."
"Oh? Now what have I done? That's hardly the greeting I expected."
"Nothing, and you've already had your greeting." She spread out the papers on the coffee table. "See all this information? It's all about how the social service system works."
"You've been busy. It looks as though you have a great many answers as to what we can legally do to help William."
"Some." She searched his face. "You look troubled."
"Do I? My apologies."
"Wanna share?" She sat back from the coffee table and leaned into his shoulder.
"William." She wordlessly asked him if he wanted to go first and he shook his head. "Tell me what you've found out then we'll get to my news."
"Okay. Short version or long version?"
"Short version please," he said.
"Transferring children in the social services area, even troubled children between states, doesn't happen much."
"But it can?" He regarded her hopefully.
"It can but only under special circumstances."
"What circumstances? Blast it woman, what's the best way to get the child here?"
"The best way would be to have someone here that is ready to adopt him."
"But things haven't evolved to that point yet. Surely there's another solution?"
"Maybe." Carolyn sighed. "How would you feel about being a foster parent?"
"A foster parent? What?" His brows knitted together in puzzlement.
"They are a couple approved by social services that provide a temporary home for a child that is waiting to be adopted."
"That's rather cruel isn't it?"
"What?" Now Carolyn was puzzled.
"To give a child a home and then take it away from them."
"No, Daniel, you misunderstand. All parties involved realize that it's a temporary situation, including the child. It's a much better environment for a child to be in a home than in an orphanage, don't you think?"
"Of course but…"
"You're worried about getting too attached to William, aren't you?" her eyes softened as he turned to her and nodded.
"I am already very fond of the lad."
"You are a great father to Jonathan and Candy." She sighed and took his hand. "But you know this is different, William needs to go back to Fox and Dana."
"I know, but it seems I am quite fond of children." He paused a long moment and searched her eyes.
"I know, Daniel. It's one of the things I regret too." She offered him a sweet smile. "How many would you have wanted if we had had a normal life?"
"Several, a houseful," he said and offered her a lecherous grin.
"A houseful? In your dreams!" Carolyn laughed as she teased him.
"Are you saying you would be able to resist my charms?" He raised a seductive eyebrow.
"To avoid an entire houseful of children? Yes."
"How many, Carolyn? All things being equal, if I was a normal man and had met you in this lifetime before you met your former husband? How many children would you have wanted us to have?" His blue eyes regarded her with adoration, she loved when he looked at her like that.
"Four I think, including Candy and Jonathan, of course."
"Of course." He took her hand and they spent a few moments staring into one another's eyes. "I'm sorry, my love."
"Don't be. We have the kids, and each other. It's been good, don't you think?"
"I do, indeed." He leaned forward and kissed her, a sweet lingering kiss.
"But what do we do about William?" Carolyn asked.
"The best option at this point to get him here as soon as possible seems to be foster care?"
"Yes, with your powers of suggestion once we do the interview I don't think it will be a problem at all."
"Interview?" He looked at her.
"Oh, didn't I tell you about that? To qualify as foster parents we have to interview with the social worker. They will let us know if we are qualified to be a foster parent for a child."
"Well of course we are, I have never heard anything so ridiculous in my life."
"Daniel, they have to interview us it is part of the process." She paused for a moment. "And the only real problem I can foresee is our age."
"Our age? What's wrong with our age?" He scowled.
"In the eyes of current society we are a bit old to be foster parents. I am seventy and you appear to be about the same age."
"That is an absurd reason to refuse us," he said.
"But I want you to be prepared as it may come into play. But as we are volunteering to be foster parents, as in temporary, they may allow it."
"Then what?"
"Then if we are approved we set up an appointment at the social worker's office and meet with her to go over available children."
"But how do we get him from Virginia to Maine? It sounds like it will be much easier if he is already here."
"Does the place he is at work with children with special needs? Because if he is having issues, and they don't, the place in Bangor does. Again, your powers of suggestion could be put into play here, maybe help move things along?"
"You have the name of the social worker?"
"Yes."
"All right. I will have to get things started then."
"Right now?" She gestured to the lengthening shadows. "It's getting late, I thought you could start in the morning."
"Ahh, but it is sometimes best to deal with the subconscious, to plant the seeds of an idea in someone's subconscious mind."
"Dreams. Will it help?"
"Probably. It certainly can't hurt."
"I suppose you're right," she sighed. "It's just that I miss my bedmate."
"As do I," he said and went over to her and pulled her into his arms. "But this is for a good cause, we are doing the right thing, aren't we?"
"Of course we are. Though I suspect Fox and especially Dana may not see it that way initially." She smiled. "I thought they'd be back by now."
"Well, despite the length of time they have been together I suspect they have decided to make the most of their honeymoon. And who can blame them?" He tenderly stroked her face with his fingertips. "I have never seen anyone that could come close to the love we share, we have managed to cross time, and vast differences of being, time, cultures and personality to be together. It is all rather staggering that we have managed it." He paused. "I have never seen another couple come close, until now."
"They have been through an awful lot together."
"And it would have either destroyed them, or brought them closer, and it brought them closer. So close that I do not think one could exist without the other."
"Like us?"
"Just so," he agreed.
"So we need to help them, even if they didn't ask. It's like helping ourselves," she said, and leaned up to kiss him.
"Then help them we will, whether they want our help or not."
"You used to call this meddling?" She laughed.
"It is not meddling if the end result is justified," he said with great authority.
"It's okay, I'm not opposed to meddling for a good cause."
"I knew there was some reason I loved you," he said and pulled her in for a deep, lingering kiss. When they parted he stepped away from her.
"Don't be gone too long," she said.
"It may be a couple of days yet as I will also make sure the power of suggestion are at work. Hopefully by the end of the week the lad will be on his way to Bangor."
"I will hold you to that. Then I will expect some personal time with my Captain," she said.
"It will be my great pleasure," he replied with a special look he reserved only for her. "I will be back as soon as I can, my love. Maybe the lovebirds will have returned by then as well?" He offered her a roguish smile and with a bow disappeared from sight.
"That man," she said, but sighed, knowing there was no one else in the world for her.
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When Mulder and Scully returned to Schooner Bay a few days later they found their new house in disarray. The furniture they had decided to keep had been moved into their house in the approximate locations they had indicated, at least for the most part And the numerous boxes had been placed in various places throughout the house, sorting them out would be a massive project, but they didn't care. With happy smiles for each other, they began to unpack the boxes. They moved what furniture they could and decided to ask for the Captain's help with some of the bigger items. Their main concern was setting up the bed so they had a place to sleep, and getting the boxes near the rooms they were supposed to be in.
They kept to themselves the first day, doing what they could to put the house in order, and when they were done for the day, they happily collapsed on their bed. Too tired to even undress, they settled onto the mattress and into each other's arms.
The Captain sat across from his wife as they played a card game on the small table between them.
"So they're back?"
"Aye, just today. They were very busy but I expect we shall see them soon."
"And what are we going to tell them? A lot has happened since they left."
"Oh, the truth I suppose, but only bits of it at a time. We shall have to start with telling Fox that we have found William."
"And then see if he wants to tell Dana alone or with us around?" Carolyn said.
"She will be angry and hurt because of what we have done, but once she gets past that she will be able to get her son. We are strong enough to bear the brunt of that, don't you think?"
"Yes. But we won't get the brunt of it, Fox will."
"Which is why we will start with telling them that we found the lad. No need to surprise them and tell them he is on his way to Maine and that we have offered to be his foster parents until he can be adopted."
"Perhaps you're right, one thing at a time." She laid down her hand of cards and smiled at the Captain. "I win," she said.
"Blast! Again. You are too good at this game."
"Are you sure you aren't letting me win?"
"Me? Why would I do that?" He protested.
"Because you're very gallant."
"Thank you," he reached across and squeezed her hand. "Get a good night's sleep tonight, my love. We will have fireworks to contend with tomorrow I am afraid."
"I know, I just hope Dana isn't hurt too badly by us doing all of this without telling her."
They gave each other a long pained look and continued on with their card game.
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As predicted by the Captain, Mulder and Scully showed up the next day just after lunch, arm in arm and smiling happily. As they made their way to the front door they stopped to exchange a long kiss before knocking. To their credit they only jumped a little bit when the Captain appeared beside them grinning foolishly.
"Ahh the lovebirds are back! Come in, come in," he gestured at the door and it opened for them. They stepped in and were greeted by Carolyn who hugged them warmly as Daniel shut the door behind them, and were ushered into the living room.
They sat down together on the couch still in each other's bubble, legs next to each other, hands entwined.
"So you've done it? You've finally gotten married?" The Captain was very happy.
"We did," Mulder said and held up Scully's hand with the ring on it, and followed suit with his own.
"Congratulations are definitely in order. We will have to celebrate," Carolyn said. "Daniel, do we have some champagne in the refrigerator?"
"We do. I'll be right back," he said and disappeared.
"How do you ever get used to that?" Dana said with a laugh.
"It took a while, though he seldom startles me these days. We've been together so long that I have a sense of him now, I can tell when he is going to appear." She laughed. "But before I honed that ability I would get so mad at him! He would surprise me by popping in at the damnedest times!"
"That must have been awkward?" Mulder asked.
"Oh, believe me, at times it was very awkward."
They were all laughing when Daniel returned a few moments later a tray with champagne and glasses in his hands.
"And what may I ask are you laughing about?"
"You and some of your abilities," Carolyn asked with a smile.
"I think I will be prudent and not ask which abilities we are talking about," he said and offered them each a glass of champagne from the tray.
When they all had a glass in hand, the Captain held up his glass. "To the newlyweds, long may they share their life together."
"And may you have their heart's desire fulfilled," Carolyn added as she stood up.
They clinked glasses and shared their happiness before they resumed their seats. Carolyn and Daniel exchanged a guarded look and she nodded. Fox looked over to the Captain, heart beating wildly in his chest and knew the moment was at hand. The moment where he would find out if the Captain had been able to find their long lost son, find him so that they could reclaim him and bring him back home.
"So, Danny, about that favor? Do you have any news?"
"I do have positive news, Fox. Would you care to take a walk with me?"
"No, then it can, and should be shared with Dana." His hand unconsciously tightened around Scully's knowing that she would be upset that all of this was done without her knowledge
"Then may I share the news with you and your lovely wife?"
"Favor? News? What's going on?" Scully looked at the faces around her and realized that they all knew something she didn't.
Mulder took her hand tightly in hers, and waited until she turned to face him.
"Mulder?"
"I asked the Captain to do me a favor. A favor that was my underlying reason to come to Schooner Bay and find out if he did indeed exist, a favor that I felt only he was capable of doing, a favor that he graciously agreed to do for me."
"What are you talking about, Mulder?" The alarm bells in her head were clanging full force, and she felt as if her heart was constricting.
Mulder bowed his head for a long few seconds, clutched her hands tightly and searched her face. "I can only hope that you will understand."
"What kind of favor did you ask?" Her voice had turned into a low growl.
"I asked him to find William," he said, his voice near a whisper.
The silence that followed was deafening. She took her hands out of Mulder's and put them on her lap, sitting quietly as Mulder watched the walls go up around her.
"Dana?"
"Don't!" She shook off the touch of his hand, then looked up at him, her blue eyes blazing in fury. "How could you?"
"I wanted to find out if he is okay," he said.
"You know how hard this was for me, how hard this still is for me, how could you do this without talking to me?" Her voice shook with anger.
"I didn't do it to hurt you. I needed to know that he was all right."
"You should have left everything alone," she whispered.
"But he's our son, surely we should be able to know if he's all right?"
"You should have left things alone," she repeated and got off the couch. She stood up looking away from Mulder to the Captain. "And you! How could you agree to do this?"
"You both miss your son so much I thought that perhaps knowing he's safe would be of some comfort to you."
"Well you thought wrong! It's none of your damn business!" She turned to Carolyn and she saw the pain in the blue eyes that were starting to fill with tears. "You knew too?"
Mutely, Carolyn nodded.
Scully put a hand to her head and couldn't contain the sob that escaped her. She gave them all an accusing stare. "I trusted all of you. How could you reopen this wound? How could you do this?" Shaking with grief, she turned on her heel and left the house, throwing open the front doors as she stormed out. They heard the sound of the car as it sped away.
"Well, that went as expected," Daniel said sadly.
"It's not over yet," Mulder said and looked over at the Captain. "We never got to the question and your answer. Did you find him?"
"Yes, Fox, I did. He's alive and well."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Oh, thank God," he said in relief and they both saw the tears in his eyes. "So you know where he is?"
Carolyn and Daniel exchanged a look, which was not missed by Mulder.
"There's something else?"
"No, Fox, nothing." Daniel hesitated. "Do you need anything else right now?"
"Just some time to convince Scully that it's okay to know where he is. And that together we can decide what to do next. That may take a bit. She'll need some time to cool off."
"Can we help?" Carolyn asked.
"No, let me deal with it. Let me tell her that you've found him and that he's all right. And we'll take it from there." He sighed. "Do you mind if I stay here for a while? I'll need a ride in a couple of hours though."
"Whatever you need, Fox," Carolyn said.
"At the moment I think a stiff drink is in order," the Captain said as he placed a glass filled with Irish whiskey in front of Mulder.
"Thanks," Mulder said and tossed back the drink. "Maybe one more? I can't have more than that because if I show up shit faced on top of everything else, we'll be done."
Daniel said nothing, but squeezed Fox's shoulder in sympathy, and sat back down.
Mulder remained quiet as he leaned back against the couch, trying to collect his thoughts as he prepared to face Scully later that day.
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What in the hell was he thinking? How could the lot of them conspire against her in this of all things? The subject that was always so near and dear to her heart, her son, William. She cried as she slammed the door behind her and entered her new house, then picked up several things that were sitting on nearby boxes and threw them as hard as she could at the wall. Helplessly she sank onto the couch, clutching the pillow to her as she sobbed into it.
William. Her son's name was engraved in her very soul. He was a miracle given to a woman that couldn't have children, a miracle created by her and Mulder. She had carried him within her for nine months despite doubt and uncertainties, she somehow knew that he was her baby, that he belonged to her and Mulder. It was such a terrible time, the things they were going through, Mulder's abduction and then return from the dead, and strange new attitude towards her and their baby. When he at last accepted them, he was only around for a week before he had to go on the run.
She thought she could protect her son but she couldn't and after two attempts on his life she knew the only way to keep him safe was to give him up for adoption so that he could live a normal life as he deserved. The guilt and grief she felt from that one act overwhelmed her, and though Mulder said he forgave her the truth was that she didn't forgive herself. And she hadn't to this day. It was a raw, open wound that she barely kept out of sight. The little healing she had been able to do had been ripped away with Mulder's search for their son.
What he didn't understand was that if she ever saw William again she could never let him go, she might as well kill herself now and be done with it.
Her sobs stilled and were reduced to sniffles. She went to the bathroom and grabbed some bath tissue and blew her nose because the Kleenex wasn't unpacked yet. She regarded herself in a mirror and realized what a wreck she was, but she just didn't care. All of the emotions she had kept buried for so long were surfacing and with such intensity that she could barely handle them.
She wasn't at all surprised to look up and see Mulder standing in the doorway of the bathroom, she hadn't even heard him come in. He looked at her with pleading eyes but she couldn't face him, not now, not yet, and tried to walk by him, but he grabbed her arm.
"Dana, please," he said. "Talk to me."
"Talk to you? Why didn't you talk to me? I trust you more than anyone and you didn't tell me what you were doing! You went behind my back and opened the one wound I can't recover from." She felt her voice shake as the tears threatened to engulf her again.
"I know this is hard…"
"Hard?" She stared at him in disbelief. "This is impossible and you of all people should know that. You should have left things alone."
"I don't understand. Don't you want to find him? Don't you want him back?" Mulder couldn't wrap around that concept.
"Mulder, Fox, you don't understand. No matter what, I can't lose him for a second time. We can't go through a custody battle and lose him again because I can't take it. Giving him up once damn near killed me. Giving him up a second time will kill me." Her eyes had a glint of desperation to them that Mulder couldn't ever remember seeing and it scared him.
"It won't happen. I won't let it happen," he gripped her arms with his hands as he stared into her face.
"You can't promise that, you have nothing to do with the legal system or how they decide things. What if the family doesn't want to give him up? Since I gave him up do you really think they would give him back to me?" Her voice was bitter.
"But I can contest the adoption, I never agreed to it."
"You can try, but there's no guarantee you'd win. Your name isn't even on his birth certificate. And you have a record as a felon."
They stared at each other for a long time, he trying to discern how to best comfort her, and she trying to put up her walls so that she could gain some semblance of control.
"You get the couch," she said, and turned to go up the stairs.
"Dana, please." His voice pleaded with her.
"I think you've helped enough for one day," she said, her voice cold and she continued up the stairs and out of sight.
Mulder sank down on the couch and hit it with his fist. Damn it! This good new wasn't supposed to create such difficulty in their lives. Knowing there was nothing to be done tonight but to give his wife some space, he found a pillow and some blankets and made his bed. He would have to talk to her in the morning.
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The nightmares were back, the ones that had taken years to make go away. Scully tossed and turned as they assailed her, crying out in her sleep as William was taken from her and they tried to kill him, and no matter what she did, she couldn't find him, she couldn't save him. When it was far too late she found him dead in his blankets on the ground.
Screaming, she work herself up, only to find Mulder next to her, his arms around her, offering her what comfort he could. She cried against his chest for a few minutes, and then pulled back and glared at him.
"It's your fault, it's all your fault!" She screamed and began to hit his chest. "If you hadn't left we could have protected him! If you hadn't left we'd still be a family! If you hadn't left I never would have given him up! It's all your fault!" She beat against his chest until her anger turned to sobs and she allowed him to gather her against him and hold her as she cried herself out.
She was so distraught that she never knew he was crying too, feeling that everything she had accused him of was true. That his leaving forced Scully's hand and she had no choice but to give up their beloved child in order to protect him. It was his fault, it was his life that had led them to have William and his life that led them to lose William. How could she even stand to be around him?
Her tears stilled and Mulder realized she had lapsed into an exhausted slumber. He gently lowered her back on the bed, and covered her, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. He would be back to check on her later but for now he needed some time to clear his head and to come to terms with what was happening, time to accept once and for all that it was him, not Scully that was responsible for the fate of his son, and the fact that they weren't a family.
Mulder quietly let himself out of the front door of their new house and left to go walking alone in the darkness.
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The cliffs on the lonely road were somehow comforting in the dark. Their stone facades reaching out to him as he walked in silence along the road that ran alongside it, offering him comfort in their solitude and timelessness.
Mulder expelled long held breath and walked up to the edge of the cliff staring at the ocean below, waves beating endlessly against them. He turned his head when he heard the sound of someone's shoes on the road, and wasn't terribly surprised to see the Captain. He waited by the cliffs for the spirit to join him.
"How is she?" The Captain asked quietly.
"Angry, hurt, all of the things you'd expect."
"Are you all right?" The Captain searched the face of his friend.
"No, not right now. Dana said some things that she's kept repressed for a long time," Mulder's voice broke and the Captain saw the tears run down his face.
"What things?"
"That it's my fault we don't have William. I was a shit father, Danny. My pursuit of the truth always meant more to me than anything, until I met Scully, but by then it was too late. I sucked her into my life and she had to endure so much pain because of me." The tears were flowing freely now and he was talking between them. "I loved her so but it took me so long to tell her. I didn't find out she was pregnant until she was very pregnant, and upon my return from the dead I was an ass. I thought she had moved on without me and couldn't believe it was my child that she was carrying. When I did accept it I knew what a miracle our son was, I knew that nothing had ever mattered as much as he and Scully. The truth I had sought for so long meant nothing compared to them." He turned to Daniel and the Captain saw the raw pain in his eyes. "But William is gone because of me! He's gone because I ran and left Scully alone to protect him. When she couldn't she had no choice but to give him up! And it's all my fault! My fault!" He screamed at the Captain.
"Fox, it isn't anyone's fault, merely what had to happen at the time." He put his hand on the other man's sleeve and was surprised when Mulder jerked it away.
"Leave me alone!"
"No."
"Damn it! Leave me alone!" Mulder pulled his fist back and struck the Captain's jaw.
"Hmm, I certainly didn't dematerialize quickly enough that time," he said and rubbed his jaw even though he didn't feel any pain.
"Danny, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it," Mulder said and the Captain could feel how tortured the man felt.
"Fox, please believe me when I tell you we will find a way to get William back to you." He watched while Mulder studied him.
"You truly believe that? That we'll get him back and be a family again?"
"I most certainly do. I know trusting another person doesn't come easily to you but please trust me on this. Carolyn and I will do whatever we can to help you."
"What does he look like?"
"He has Miss Scully's coloring, though his hair is a dark red, her blue eyes, but many of your facial features."
"Hopefully not my nose?"
"That will be for you to decide when you see him." Daniel smiled at him.
"I can't screw this up, Danny. If I don't get William back for her now that I've reopened this wound I'm afraid I'll lose her."
"And we can't have that. We just officially got you two together." He paused. "Go back to her, Fox. Be there for her, give her what she needs, and she'll come around. She needs some time to cope with this possibility that scares her so much. When you are ready come back to see Carolyn and I. We should have an update for you by then."
"Thank you," Mulder said and wiped away the tears from his cheeks.
"Ahh, Fox, it will be all right," the Captain stepped forward and pulled him into a brief but fierce bear hug. "Trust me, please."
"I want to," Mulder said.
"Go home, Fox, take care of your wife," the Captain stepped away and vanished.
After a few minutes, knowing the other man was right, Mulder turned his steps away from the cliffs and back to his home and Scully.