Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight, this is a purely fan made story, however, the plot of this story that does not directly involve that of Twilight, and the characters I have created, are mine, and I hope you enjoy reading about them.

Chapter 25- Move On

Rebecca-

"So, I guess… I could just listen, and maybe help you sort some of this out, okay?" He asked, sitting back in the chair, the only other one in the room, opposite mine.

I nodded absently, not even looking at him, already lost in the story I was about to tell.

"Look, I know this is hard-"

"I grew up in Western Italy, in a tiny village called Valle Celeste." I breathed, wringing my hands together. Jasper pursed his lips and nodded.

"Good."

"I was my father's pride and joy, he was my world. After my mother 'died', we were all we had." I said softly, "I didn't know what had happened to her back then…"

"So you lived a normal life?"

"Yes." I breathed, "Until I begun to find I could manipulate fire. And a new woman moved into town, deeply religious, saw sins in all of us and kept telling us that we must cleanse our souls." I felt my hands tighten as I began to talk to her, "When I was four, I was attacked by a rabid dog."

I paused, "And?" Jasper asked.

"I burned it. Violetta knew somehow and declared I was some kind of demon, a monster that had be damned by God that must be destroyed." I growled through the lost part, "They came to my home and pulled me from my father's arms, chained me to a post… and Violetta dropped the match. I was going to be burned at the stake."

Jasper blinked, "And that was when Felix rescued you."

"Yes, he and Heidi saved my life." I nodded, "At first, I was rather thrilled with my new life in the castle, I was allowed to explore and play so long as I had one of the Guard with me. My father I missed terribly… but still, I was four. Heidi and Felix kept me entertained and happy, they were my best friends and anything I needed. For the first year or so, I lived in the castle as the little sister of the vampire mafia." I chuckled, "That was Felix's term for it. Then, I began having regular meetings with the masters-"

"Who?" He asked, confused.

"Aro, Marcus, Cauis." I said blandly.

"And you didn't get along with them."

"Actually, Aro was rather friendly, it was Cauis whom I disliked. As for Marcus… he seemed to always be lurking in the shadows, I never got to know him that well. Aro seemed fascinated with me, spent hours picking through my thoughts. As I got older, I bonded with Felix and Jane. Jane seemed to have a similar end to her humanity as the event that brought me to Volterra, her brother as well. We bounded, she and I were both quiet, both she was much more… aggressive than I. Felix became my older brother, he was protective and goofy… and I miss him even now." I murmured lowly.

Jasper nodded again, "You saw a completely different side of the Volturi."

"I did. But in many ways they were still the same Volturi that all vampires know and fear, I trained all the time as I got older, sparring with all of them, especially with Demitri because he made me angry. Aro did that on purpose, tried to make me angry so I could use my 'gift'. Heidi started acting like my mom… but not even she could stop the vote."

"The vote?" Jasper leaned forward.

"I'm part human, Jasper, you know just as well as I do that I'm breaking the law." I said solemnly.

"But… you were part of the Volturi, surely they could make an exception." He muttered, mostly to himself. "You were even like them."

"But there's one big difference." I sighed, "One day… if Demitri never gets his chance, I'll be older. One day my heart will stop beating. One day I'll die."

Jasper had a pained look on his face, "So they voted on… what? Your life?"

"They were voting on when to change me. Jane, Heidi, Felix, Alec and Santiago were almost always on my side though so I managed to avoid getting killed until the date was set for my sixteenth birthday." I glowered, searching the ground, "Everything Aro would tell me… I started seeing that he was trying control me, manipulate me. It made me furious, I… I hated him. It was my life, it still is. Nobody can control me, I'm nobodies to force to do anything." My hands trembled in clenched fists.

Jasper placed his hand on my shoulder, "That's why you hate it when people try to talk with you. It reminds you of how they tried to control you." He said softly.

I felt my eyes tighten, "I can't forget the things I did for them, simply because they told me to. I killed countless newborns… my own mother was brought before the thrown when I was eight. She was out of control, barely remembered me. It tore my heart out. The next week, I was walking through the castle when Demitri brought in another newborn that looked like her, I lost it. All my emotion just caught fire, like and explosion and I nearly killed Demitri with the newborn." A tear formed in my eye, "I just… why… why my own mother… s-she wanted to kill me. She didn't recognize her own daughter."

Jasper remained silent.

"I felt… alone, I suppose. At that time, I thought I was the only one like me in the entire world. I would sit at a café and watch humans walk by, analyzing them, trying to understand what their lives were like. In the same way, I watched visitors who came to Volterra, vampires, and observed them. How they walked so smoothly, spoke with musical voices, moved with graceful and lethal elegance." I sighed lowly, "And when Carlisle visited… I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He took the monster commonly accepted and found a substitute. His morals were flawless, no doubt he hadn't the tiniest stain on his soul. It was more than I could say for myself, and he was equally fascinated with my… condition. He was my first friend outside of the castle in ages. Without him, I would have died the day I met him at the hands of a rogue newborn."

"Ah, he told us about that." Jasper chuckled, "Never thought he had it in him."

A smile pulled at my lips, "The situation makes the man, whatever the demands are, one must rise to meet them. Change if it is required."

He looked at me oddly, "You believe that?"

"Of course." I said bluntly, "Don't you?"

He shifted, "I believe that situations can influence us, but it is up to us to mold how we emerge from them and learn from them. Sometimes it is better to stand firm and accept the consequences."

"And if the consequences are death?" I challenged. Jasper sighed,

"I suppose yours is a unique situation."

I barked out a short laugh, "Unique is a good word."

"I suppose it didn't help that you were there when Edward… uh… tried to," Jasper cleared his throat guiltily, "get you guys to kill himself."

I pursed my lips, "Yes. That was odd, at first Felix had me panicked, he was truly worried. Felix is odd like that, he has this sixth sense for when bad things are going to happen, but Aro ignores it. He believes Felix to be a complete imbecile. Your brother… annoyed me, I didn't like him prying in my mind. My thoughts are private, so I found him very irritating. But Bella… she was so human, and innocent when she came to save him. So terrified. I couldn't believe Aro would want to kill her at first… all of them, even Alice. Join or die. And when they were talking in the waiting room," I sucked in a shaky breath, "I started losing it. Why couldn't the guard care like they cared for each other, why wasn't I allowed to remain human…?" I sounded like a child but I didn't care. I clenched and unclenched my hands, staring at them, the twisted scars from numerous burns still danced around my hands.

"That's when I left. With Felix's help, I ran to the airport with you brother and Alice." I whispered, "Felix put me on the first flight to London with a fake ID, a backpack, my bow and nothing more. I miss him so much." I muttered pathetically, and sniffed. Jasper hugged me gently.

"Life in London was tough. I worked a few jobs, tried my hand at being a bounty hunter… it was scary. I was completely alone, I had nothing. The first week I spent in a hotel trying to find work, when I ran out I spent the nights at homeless shelters until I made enough money to rent an apartment. It was a tiny two room thing…" I smiled slightly, remembering the great swelling pride the day I had enough to leave the shelter, "I ran into two nomads not long after that, named Connie and Annalise Blitz, they were adoptive siblings. They thought I was a human who knew too much until I showed them my… brand." The last word caught in my throat like bile.

Jasper quirked an eyebrow at me, "Brand?"

I sighed and rolled up my sleeve, the intricate and unique brand of the Volturi still embossed on my skin. "The brand is 100% unique to the Guard, we are the only ones who have it, so that anyone who attacks us or finds us knows who we are, and more importantly what we represent. It's just more difficult and risky for a vampire to get a brand. About a century ago, a prospect was killed when a branding went wrong and they caught on fire." I remembered hearing that story from Alec.

"And then Demitri tracked me down." I murmured, "Connie came up with a split second plan, we escaped through the sewer and swam across the channel to France. I decided that I wanted to know more about my mother, find her, or whoever changed her. So I needed to find the archives, in Russia."

"I thought they belonged to the Romanians…?"

"Found that out the hard way." I grimaced, "They weren't so quick to trust me, taunted me, wouldn't take me seriously. It infuriated me, they had me fight a newborn just to see the records. I don't know why but I was just… angry… and I couldn't stop hating them, they were trying to control me, acting like I didn't count because of what I was." I felt more angry tears pouring down my face, "No one ever took me seriously. I left Con and 'lise so they wouldn't get hurt while I searched, and nearly got myself killed by a Child of the Moon two days later. I was traveling alone, crossed Europe in a day. The werewolf told me there were others like me, trying to lure me in before it attacked, I couldn't react… fast enough." My hand absently traced the scars on my cheek.

"So that's what did it…" Jasper sucked in a breath.

"Yeah." I traced the lines all the way down to my shoulder, "It caused the first venom-attack to. It was terrifying, I thought I was dying." My fists clenched again, several other scars shown as the muscles flexed, "When I finally woke up, I was so confused, and horrified, I was absolutely soaked in my own blood. Enough that I knew I should have died, but didn't. I'd never felt so alone and scared in my life, but I… I had to keep going. I wanted to kill whoever dared to harm my mother. Whoever turned her into a monster." The last part was a snarl.

I was angry, I could feel it, Jasper could feel it too. Tiny flames burst randomly around my fingers before flicking out as another took it place.

"And did you?"

"I traveled to Egypt, where I was told how much of a monster William Jennings was, how much of a monster that I was…" I grumbled, "Then to India, flew to Germany where a werewolf was waiting for me, blew up the airport, saved the Senator's daughter…"

"Why?" He asked, "Why was she important to you?"

"I connected with him. I can't explain it, but we shared something. Without meaning to, he saved what shreds of sanity I had left, and I couldn't just let the girl die. I woke up a few days later in a hospital, under full witness protection as Nicole Aster." I smiled, "Senator Pierce got me on a aircraft carrier ship across the ocean, I puked me guts out the whole way… and got… sick." I pursed my lips.

"How so?"

"My throat burned like crazy." I whispered, "I had a mental breakdown when we landed and I left Pierce, I just lost it. I wanted to die… and when I wandered outside…" My breath hitched, "I might as well have died a little that night."

Jasper frowned, "What do you mean, did someone hurt you?" I didn't miss the slight hint of anger in his voice.

"No." I choked, tears welling in my eyes, "It was the other way around. He wanted me to call an ambulance, he was just bleeding so bad… and I-… I…"

I waited for him to shout at me, tell me I was a freak, that I had no excuse, to throw me out of the house.

Instead, he rested his hand on top of mine, "Everybody," He said seriously, "and I mean, everybody, slips up Rebecca. Save for Carlisle, I don't know a single vampire that ain't killed in their life." He said seriously.

"Except I'm not actually a vampire." I muttered guiltily.

"Right, you're halfway to a newborn Becca!" Jasper exclaimed, "You know how bad newborn control is, so the way I figure, you got as much control as I do when the thirst actually kicks in. And I woulda killed someone who fell over me bleedin' in a split second." He was honest.

It actually made me feel better.

"I can feel what you're feeling." He said lowly, "It tore you apart, didn't it?"

I nodded.

"And then… Will found me, while I was crying. At first I was relieved to find him, so happy to meet my brothers and sister. But… after a while, Will's mind control wore off a little…" I frowned, "I began to see he treated his family like a military organization, always fighting, always training. He wanted to take down the Volturi. I protested and he attacked me, Luke did as well, and Arin and Hannah. I was shocked, so shocked, that my own family would turn on me so quickly. He was the father I dreamed of, bouncing between hating and loving him, and then he wanted to kill me."

I was shaking slightly.

"You're very brave." Jasper said seriously, "Most people who've been through half of what you have turn out insane, or monsters, killing hundreds of people… angry at the world."

My lips pulled into a sneer, "The last may be true in some degree."

"Less than you think." Jasper said softly, "I can feel what you feel, you care, you… you feel regret and sorrow, ambition. You want to make a change, to move on. You just don't know how."

I sighed heavily, rubbing my temples, "Experience made me very quick to shut people out, to turn aggressive, offensive rather than defense. The best way to protect yourself is to be the one attacking, so I've learned. Especially after William. I ran until I found a clearing which I had hoped would be a village. It wasn't, it was a cliff, sheer drop into a river. I hate water, but I really had no choice. I was also pretty badly injured, Will had held a sword against my neck."

"The same sword you had with you." Jasper muttered in realization.

"Very same." I nodded, "Which led to the second venom attack. A nomad… named… G-Garrett saved my life. He pulled me out of the river, and his plucky jokes and laughter actually started healing me. For the first time in a long time, I found myself joking, dancing, and laughing." I felt my expression soften as I relived the buzz-like happiness, "His happiness radiated all around him, he traveled with me though I refused to give him any information about myself. It didn't bother him, he bought me food and clothing… he was there when I saved Savel. He helped me start playing violin again, even guitar, harmonica… and we would play by a bonfire each night like we were teenagers camping out on vacation." I smiled despite myself.

"You trusted him." Jasper said.

"In a way, it was more he trusted me enough to not ask questions, so I had no problems with him." I shrugged.

"So… what happened?" Jasper asked, "You seem to avoid the memories of Garrett more than the rest."

I swallowed hard, "Because… well…" I wrung my hands together, "Because I'm afraid the same thing will happen. Again, with you guys." I muttered.

"No matter how far I run, no matter how I hide, or where, or how hard I fight… they find me. The Volturi will never ever let me go Jasper, never. I can't leave that part of my past behind. They attacked Garrett and I, and he never even knew that I was a member of the Guard." I sniffed, "The fighting shocked him, we were both nearly killed, very nearly. I collapsed after we ran out of there, exhausted. When I woke up… he was gone."

"I'm sorry." Jasper squeezed my hand.

I ducked my head, willing myself to keep telling the story, "I hid in an empty freight train car, just hoping it would take me to America… hoping I could find Carlisle. For some reason, I just sought out your father because he had helped me before. At that point, I could count on one hand the number of people who had helped me. Since I left the Guard. I was walking with a broken leg, Demitri had re-broken it, when I ended up in La Push. It was a total accident, that ironically brought me here." I said solemnly.

"There is nothing I want more in life than to be able to forget." I muttered, "But I can't. And it's made me slow to forgive, to trust… to let go of my anxiety."

"I know how you feel." Jasper mused, "You feel lost, as though all your good at doesn't matter anymore."

"I was raised to be a weapon." I spat out, pulling at my hair with my hands, "What do I do now? I used to feel like I couldn't control my future. Now that I can, I don't know what to do with it."

"Anything." Jasper said, "I faced the same challenge. Don't think to hard about it, let the future take you, you'll know when and what to choose, trust me." He said with a smile as he stood up.

"You had Alice." I grumbled,

"I did…" He smiled over his shoulder at me, "Try opening your eyes, you'd be surprised who's at your side. Just like Alice was for me."

I sat in that room after the door slammed shut for a few seconds.

"Jasper!" I heard Esme scold, "Stop slamming doors!"

"Sorry ma'am." I heard him call back.

Then, everything dropped into silence.

Shaking my head, desperately trying to clear my brain fog, I walked out of the room with my eyes closed, hands on my temples. Thoughts, memories, words, flew around my head like thousands of pelting sand particles. Jasper. He meant for me to let it go… seize the moment, the present…?

"Ayi!" I hit something hard and fell backwards, "Uhh… asino.." I grumbled lowly, rubbing my face.

I had walked into a wall. How embarrassing.

"Hey." Two cool arms picked m up. Dylan.

"Thanks." I muttered lamely.

"No problem, keep your eyes open darling, it makes walking easier." He chuckled, ruffling my hair with his hand, he was taller than I, I realized, almost a foot. He started walking away, and I felt a pull at my heart, I noticed how his smile died as he walked away as well. It hurt to see him walking away.

Why?

Try opening you eyes, you'd be surprised at who's at your side. Just like Alice was for me.

My eyes widened. How stupid was I? I thought, ignoring what's right in front of me. He makes me whole, he heals me, helps me, cares for me and I can't see his love for me?

"Dylan!" I called, and reached forward, catching his shoulder. He spun around instantly and I flew into his arms. He was stiff, surprised, but relaxed almost immediately. I buried my face in the crook of his neck and felt my heart throb in my chest. I need him, I need him, I need him.

He can help me, heal me, he has been already.

I felt like crying, realization heavy like a weight, my throat was tight. Was… I ready for this? Could I handle this? There was a difference in seeing love, and believing in it. Feeling it. But one thing I didn't doubt. I didn't think there would be another later on. No one had ever made me feel more comfortable by their side (save for my father, Carlos). No one gave me their time and energy like he did, patiently, expecting nothing.

His arms wrapped around my carefully, I could feel him press the side of his face against my head.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly.

"I'm better." I said, quietly. I was. I felt better, less worn and tired. I felt… alive. Like some great epiphany had just woken me from a state of stupor.

I looked up into his topaz eyes, his lips pulled into a sweet smile.

"We're not just talking about running into the wall, are we?" He asked, his smile spreading.

"No." I smiled back. "I suppose we're not."

"I'm proud of you. I know… that reliving all that is difficult for you." He said carefully.

I tilted my head slightly, "It was… but it helped. It doesn't hurt as much as it used to." I said weakly. In truth, it hurt less as I was around him.

Dylan smiled briefly, "I'm sorry I pushed you."

"I needed it." I muttered.

He was so close to me, beautiful and strong. Like my own personal angel, protecting and healing me, though he knew that I needed time. But… I need him, and I could feel that stronger than ever before. Was it love? What is… love?

I couldn't imagine my life without him. Is that what Jasper meant?

I blinked, and realized he was much closer than I had originally thought. His eyes were still boring into mine. Alarms went off in my head, automatically.

To close! To close!

No… no, no. He's fine… I… I… trust him.

I trust him.

I leaned in hesitantly, without a clue as to what I was doing. I saw his eyes widen a fraction, because he knew and understood what I was trying to do. What I wanted, and what I was ready for.

He closed the mere inches left. My breath stuck in my throat as his cool lips met mine. They were surprisingly soft… for a vampire. This new and alien closeness had all sorts of effects on me. All worries, all anxiety and pain was blown from my mind like shreds of paper in a breeze. I leaned against him, my hands wrapped around his neck loosely. His lips moved against mine gently, slowly, carefully. His hands held me softly, and for a few blissful seconds that felt like eternity, I was flying.

We both pulled back infinitesimally, so that our foreheads were touching, my eyelashes brushed against his cheek.

"Without you I would never have talked to anyone. You make me feel whole again. I understand now… I love you." I sighed happily, resting my head against his shoulder.

"I… adore… you." Dylan breathed in my ear, I could feel his lips pull into a wild smile against my cheek. I shivered slightly.

"Thank you…" I managed to choke out, tears… happy tears brimming in my eyes. So much joy, bubbling in my chest. Had I really never felt this before? I'd been missing so much. He rubbed my back in a comforting way.

He smiled and leaned back slightly. "I think I should be thanking you." He said, "It may not seem like it, but you've helped me so much more than I can put into words."

My heart swelled, I'd never helped someone like that before in my life.

I walked with him, his arm loosely around my waist.

"Hey, Dylan could you help me with… oh." Esme blinked rapidly as she saw the both of us. I felt my cheeks heat up. She was feigning surprised, she'd heard the whole thing.

Dylan cleared his throat, "Um… hi Mom." He said awkwardly.

Esme smiled slightly before waving her hand, "Never mind."

Dylan frowned, and relaxed onto the small couch in the living room. I crawled up next to him and relaxed across his shoulder. "What was that about?" I asked.

He chuckled, "Mom knows everything."

I don't wanna live,

To waste another day,

Living in the shadows of mistakes I've made,

Because I feel like I'm breaking inside.

Woooooooo! Yeeah! Finally got somewhere. *big happy sigh*

Blahhhh, school. Yes, my friends, I blame school. I blame AP Lit, and Pre-Calc… and my jerk of a Bio teacher who thinks his students should have no social life.

Anyways, I put a some 'happy' at the end of this chapter. No, literally. I bought a bottle of happy and accidently spilled it on the last two pages. :)

I really, really, really love all of you who review. Especially Sand n' Sable, I have to say that your reviews were a driving force in helping me write this chapter. So, this chapter is dedicated to you. Yep, first time I've dedicated a chapter. To all my regular reviewers, (I trust you know who you are) I'd really like to hug all of you. If that doesn't freak you out. You guys rock, you're like… like… motivation in written form.

Thank you all, please keep reviewing and don't skip your classes because that's how you get your computer taken away!

-Zeri