Chapter 28: Message in a bottle

She knew from the moment she left the hospital that there was not much she was going to be able to do. She was to tired to weak to really do anything anymore. But she was determined. There was one more thing she really wanted to do. And she was going to do that. If it took all the strength she had left than so be it. She took a deep breath and sat down in her bed. She would write this letter. It was important. If she was asked why it was important she would not have been able to explain it. She would not have been able to tell what made it so important. But that she couldn't find words to express herself didn't mean that she was wrong.

Jack had known for such a long time. He had seen everything, including the things others wanted to ignore. There was not much time left. And he couldn't bear it. He couldn't bear to watch his brother, his friends crumble down like this. And he just couldn't life them up. There was nothing he could do. And for the first time since he had seen them kissing in that kitchen he finally fully accepted their relationship. Beth would need somebody. His eyes meet his fathers and they both know. They are the outsiders now. But in the end they will be the ones who will hold everybody up. They will hold everything together. Or at leas they will try.

Tony didn't even want to imagine what Beth was feeling. The thought alone of losing his son was bad enough. And he had cause to think that over the years. First those awful teenage years and now he was a cop. Still the thought and actually knowing you were going to lose a child had to be awful. No parent should bury their child. And Beth had already buried one. Now she would be forced to burry another. He simply couldn't understand why this was happening. Then his he thought of his son. He had no idea how Luke was going to get trough this. Nor did he have any idea of how to help him. For the first time he was at a loss to do anything. His eyes met Jacks and he knew that he was just as lost as the rest of them.

Robbie found himself looking at his sister. For the first time in years. It's not that he hadn't seen her. It's just that she had never stuck around long enough for him to look at her. Truly look at her. She looked lost. But then again perhaps they were all lost. But there was a light in her eyes that he was sure off hadn't been there before. At least not since before Henry had died. And it encouraged him. For he was not sure how long he would be able to hold it together. To be the strong one. Perhaps until Matilda died. He didn't really want to think about that be he knew it would happen. But then he would fall apart. The idea of somebody being there to hold them together was appealing. But this was Kit and he knew her. She wasn't strong enough.

Kit hadn't really talked to her brother since that fateful night. He had tried of course. But she hadn't wanted to hear him. She had not wanted to hear anything. She knew she couldn't explain why she had decided to call that morning. Or what made her turn around. It would make her sound crazy. It had been a dream. Just a dream. But Henry had been there. Telling her it wasn't her fault. To go home. And for a second she had sworn she had seen Matilda sitting there. But she had woken up before being sure. She had no idea why but that dream compelled her to call home. And to come when Robbie told her to. Now however she had no idea if she was actually strong enough for this.

Luke looked warily at the girl walking beside him. He had no idea why Matilda wanted to go to the beach. But she had been determined. She would have gone alone to, but he wouldn't let her. Whatever it was it must have been important. Still he was afraid she would tire herself out. But he couldn't say no to her. Would never be able to say no to her. So he took her hand and let her guide him wherever she wanted to go. Soon they found themselves standing on some mountains. Below them he could see the ocean crashing against the rock. 'You're not planning to jump or something are you?' She just looked at him as if he was crazy. At least it was something. That's when he noticed her holding something. How he had not noticed before was beyond him. Comprehension dawned on him as the list suddenly came to mind.

She knew Luke didn't really want her to go to the beach. But she was determined. She was going to go. And if nobody wanted to go with her she would go alone. But she knew that even if he didn't want her to go he would never let her go alone. She looked at the ocean as it crashed against the rock. When Luke started talking about jumping she looked at him as if he had lost his mind. It's not like she was suicidal. Just dying. She took the bottle out of the bag and looked at the ocean yet again. The message in the bottle. Number two on the list. Important. She couldn't explain why. Just that it was. She wanted to throw it in herself but she knew she wouldn't be able to. Instead she looked pleadingly at Luke. He seemed to have understood her meaning immediately for he took the bottle and threw it far away into the ocean. And together they watched as slow but steady the waves moved the bottle and the message in it farther away from them. Until they couldn't see it anymore.

Mattie had never been sure of how to talk to Kit. They had always been so different. Kit was more of a boy. Always hanging out with Scott. Kit had been closer to Henry (which was only natural) and Robbie. And now she found herself again at loss for words. Words of gratitude for coming. Of understanding. But she couldn't say them. It didn't take her a long time to realize she didn't need to. This was all they needed. Sitting on the couch. Holding each other. Watching 'a little princess. It was their favorite movie. One of the only things they had in common.

Kit held Mattie close to her. Mainly because she simply didn't know what to say. She didn't know her little sister was struggling with words as much as she was. Somewhere halfway through the movie a realization struck her. It didn't matter. It didn't matter what had happened in the past. All that mattered was that she was here now. That she could still hug her sister. And together they watch the movie. And when at the ending the believed dead father turned out to be alive they both cried. For that was one miracle that would never happen to them.

And the bottle kept floating in the ocean. And with each second that passed it distant itself more and more from the shore. Floating away from life so to speak. Just like Matilda Hunter was doing.