Izzy sat with Meredith. She sat there with neither talking. Christina had just left to change and take a shower. She said that she would only run home and be right back.

"Maybe you should call him." Izzy suggested. Christina had said not to talk to her about Derek but she was a phsycologist. She knew how to control this.

"I can't." Meredith saying her first words as the sobs once again racked her body. "I just can't do that to him."

"Mer, do you really think that he is happy? Do you think that he will ever really be happy with out you?"

"He might not be okay right now but he will be. He wouldn't have been ok in a couple of years when he would have looked at me and thought of the baby that I killed. He wouldn't have been ok and then neither would I." She said trying to get her crying under control.

"What do you think will happen in a couple of years when he thinks about what he could have had. You. Children with you. A life with you." Izzy took her hand. "He will never have those things without you. He loves you more than anything else. I can see it when he looks at you. I think that you should give him the chance to let him love you."

"But what if he leaves me? What if in ten years he figures out that he doesn't want someone who thinks of themselves before their child."

"Meredith, do you love Derek." Meredith nodded her head not giving it a second though. "Like in the really big way. Like the way that you never want to live with out him."

"Of course I do. Thats why I had to do what was for the best for him."

"If you really love him then you would rather have ten years with him and have him leave you then have no time with him."

Meredith just looked at her like a chicken with its head cut off. She watched her for a minute trying to get her thoughts inorder.

"Wheres my phone. Hurry I need my phone." She said quickly trying to sniffle the tears that were emerging from the thoughts of what she was about to do. "Hurry, I need to call him."