CT: If Edgeworth was part of Mystery Inc. and Oldbag was one of the creature they were investigating, he wouldn't stop her with any convoluted traps, but rather by jumping in the Mystery Machine and running her over until she stops moving. Either that, or Edgeworth would flee the scene so fast that it'd give Shaggy and Scooby a run for their money. But then again, can we blame Edgeworth? After all, none of the monsters in "Scooby-Doo" ever tried to get any of the protagonists to date them…

JP: This latest, sidesplitting earworm from H-E- Double Hockey Sticks goes out to Yanmegman. I hope you enjoy the hi-JINKIES of poor Miles yapping "ZOIKS!" as he peels out of there as though one of the toon monsters was actually on his tail!


"Edgey-Poo, I Love You!"
(Sung to the tune of the original "Scooby-Dooby-Doo"
TV theme song)

[On the side of a road on the outskirts of L.A., Edgeworth's sitting behind the wheel of his car with a scowl on his face. The back half of his vehicle is currently off the road, partially submerged in mud created by a recent rainstorm, which is why Gumshoe is currently pushing at the back bumper.]

["Mr. Edgeworth, mind telling me how you got your car stuck in the mud again?" Gumshoe asks, grunting and heaving as he tries to get his superior's car back on the road.]

["I don't want to talk about it, Gumshoe…" Edgeworth sighs with a slow shake of his head. "Let's just say that driving 70 mph while having a phone call with Franziska is a bad combination. But luckily for us, while you were traveling here, I called California Car Club to send down a tow truck. So if your efforts are fruitless, then worry not; for help shall be here in no time. In fact, I think I see the rescue party now." The maroon-cladded prosecutor smirks as he points to an oncoming tow truck which stops near the car.]

[However, Edgeworth's joy is short-lived when he learns who's driving the tow truck.]

["Don't worry, Edgey-poo! I'll save you!" Oldbag squeals as she exits her vehicle.]

["Noooo! Why won't you leave me alone!?" Edgeworth shrieks, reeling back in horror. "Keep pushing, Gumshoe! I'll be damned if I'm stuck on this godforsaken road with this decrepit harpy!"]

["Don't be so coy, Edgey-poo!" Oldbag chirps, blushing as she raises her clenched fists. "You don't have to play hard to get with me because…"]


Edgey-wedgey-poo, I love you!
We'll have the sweetest whoopee you knew


["Nnnnnggghhhhhoooooooo!" Edgeworth screams, his saucer-sized eyes filled with terror as he repeatedly slams his foot on the gas pedal, but to no avail.]


Edgey-wedgey-poo, I love you!
We'll kiss and snuggle all night
Come on, Edgey-poo, I see you,
Trying to get that restraining order
But you're not fooling me, 'cause I can see,
What those bedroom eyes will deliver


You know we've got a real connection
So Ima make Edgey's loins quake!
Also, ache!


["Push, Gumshoe, push! Push as if your life depends on it!" Edgeworth screams at Gumshoe, prompting the scruffy detective to push even harder on the car's back bumper.]


And, Edgey-poo, if you're nice,
You'll get yourself a special clambake.


Edgey-wedgey-poo, I need you!
You're looking so dapper and strong.
If you return my love, Edgey-poo,
We'll do many things that seem wrong!


[As if the universe heard Edgeworth's pleas for help and decided to throw him a bone, Gumshoe finally manages to push his superior's car back onto the road, allowing for the maroon-cladded prosecutor to speed away like a bat out of hell.]


["Edgey-poo, wait for me!" Oldbag squeals as she rushes back to her tow truck and drives after one of the many loves of her life in hot pursuit.]


Dual (because you know, we're a duet!) shout out of thanks and replies to the following awesomesauce readers/reviewers including PM's! Everyone else…thanks so much for reading!

Chapter 26

RavenPuffPrefect1296

CT: When it comes to dry, dark humor and sharp, sarcastic comebacks, no one can beat Blackquill. One of his crowning moments in that regard was when Aristotle Means morphed from his calm persona into his crazed teacher mindset, treating the courtroom like a classroom as he yelled and threw chalk, to which Simon responded by being that rebellious student that refused to respond when asked a question. But let's also not forget each and every one of Simon's interactions with Nahyuta, which were like breaths of fresh air.

JP: FYI the second Trilogy is all available on your favorite Apple or Android device now, depending on where you live! But yes Simon's sarcasm is epic... it was the only saving grace for me in the otherwise tedious case 4 SOJ! (on the plus side, it also spurned my BlackMahdi shipping…)

JusticeforNoOne

CT: When it comes to Kristoph's prison life, I think that he was able to garner a great deal of popularity as the guy who disbarred Phoenix, essentially striking down the attorney who put most of them there. Good thing Phoenix never had to investigate Central Prison like Edgeworth did; otherwise he wouldn't make it out alive. As for the shower, I'd say that it's like Kristoph's second home in prison; because knowing our favorite dildo-flavored creepsicle, when it's shower time, he waits in the shadows for the perfect time to strike, just like when he killed Zak.

JP: I remember not hating this movie but I cannot remember any songs from it whatsoever including this one that my partner brilliantly parodied I at least vaguely remembered Mother Knows Best and the contacts but I could not remember for the life of me why these criminals were singing about their dreams, though of course now it will never leave my mind since Señor Dildo Grande was the starring role!

Also, it's good to have you back your presence has been missed, querido lector! 😊

Chapter 27

Joeclone

JP: The Fey shipping waters run deep! I like to think Pearly got her die-hard romantic streak from Maya, the latter who idolizes the Steel Samurai so much because she was always hoping some mighty heroic figure I would rescue her someday like he always does for the Pink Princess...er, wait a second... 😉

CT: I guess trying to ship your big sister with a coworker- or in Pearl's case, a cousin who's like a big sister- is a Fey family tradition alongside trying to murder annoy who's in your way.

MuhammadGamingS

JP: Kill my DILF?! Bite your tongue, good sir! He's already suffered character assassination enough in Apollo Justice, prompting me to write and now nearly 200 chapter story trying to clear his good name! His desecration shall not be compounded! 😝

other than that I see some wonderful prospects including the ones you mentioned for the next game did you know that game 6 was supposed to be featured around the mafia storyline with Phoenix being forced to defend a guilty mafia boss? it would be very exciting if they ended up using that for game 7 and brought back some beloved characters while they're at it!

I was too lazy to get my doctorate in Psychology but I'm fascinated by the human mind and how little of it current-generation seem to use! Hee!

that being said, even though Mia may have thought she had his number from the start, she probably fell for what a great lawyer in person Diego was underneath all the sweet talk, since he was the one who taught her the epic lesson of a lawyer never cries until it's over and to keep smiling. I use that as my own personal defense of his character any time people start throwing shade at Godot!

CT: Considering how much backlash Capcom got for turning Phoenix into a snarky, nonchalant, hobo-looking card shark in "Apollo Justice", they would never give him the Mia treatment, lest they want an angry mob trying to break down their door. That's why if Athena gets her own trilogy, I could perhaps see Phoenix being her assistant, balancing out her energy and ambition with his years of experience both in the courtroom and dealing with Maya.

The only reason why Phoenix was able to make any progress with cases where Franziska was prosecuting was that he knew that while there was a time to object and present evidence, there was also a time to stand down so as not to be whipped into unconsciousness. However, Athena's not like that. She's a young, ambitious, energetic girl who refuses to let people bully her. So a trial involving both Athena and Franziska would essentially boil down to a battle between the unstoppable force and the unmovable object, essentially devolving into a screaming match with lots of whipping and psychological analysis.

Chloemcg

JP: I'm not familiar with that song milady, but I'd be happy to take a look at it. Hunchback is a very underrated Disney and considering we had the darkest song from the movie (and perhaps THE darkest Disney tune, ever!) featured already, it would be nice to focus on a lighter point of that story!

That being said, indeed Matt was a wonderfully awful villain! If you can think of a song that suits him, feel free to suggest it!

CT: Thank you for your wonderful words! I'm glad that you're enjoying these parodies as much as we do writing them. As for your request, we'll see what we can do with it.

Forgreatcoffee

JP: Mia threw coffee in your face? Is that where you got your inspiration forever handy weapon of choice whenever agitated, Señor Java? Jajaja!

I like the idea that your kitten was no easy wooing task, and made you work to sheath those claws of hers, although no doubt she was worth it and the two of you will always be the sexiest couple in Ace Attorney history! Yes, Mia was a wonderful Meg although let's be honest she was much hotter especially since her waist wasn't the thickness of my wrist! 😝

CT: But alas, fate had different plans when Dahlia decided to add that "special" ingredient to that cup of coffee and when Redd decided to silence Mia permanently with the Thinker clock. Though for what it's worth, while short, the relationship between Diego and Mia was filled with love and happiness- romantic dates at coffee houses, cuddling on a couch and laughing at ridiculous courtroom dramas, and nights where they'd be working late in the law firm to prepare for a big case, giving each other encouragement as Grossberg toots out the tune of Haddaway's "What is Love?" with the help of his hemorrhoids.

TheFreelancerSeal

JP: I find a lot of the movies after Aladdin from the 90s time tend to have been overlooked even though they were hysterically funny, although maybe not as gorgeous animation Hercules, and Emperor's New Groove and Tarzan come to mind, and in the case of Hercules and Tarzan it's really a shame they aren't going to know that because they had some really great songs! Would you believe I still have one or two more signs from Hercules coming up? I loved how mad was not your typical starry-eyed / doe-eyed heroine she had some experience and was rightfully jaded, and you find yourself rooting for them in hopes that he can restore her Rose Colored Glasses. I don't think Mia would have had a lengthy love history in her all too short time on Earth (I'd like to think Diego with her one and only true love) but she definitely didn't strike me as naive and was very savvy despite coming from a secluded village... I would think she would have been wary of the ultra-smooth Rico Suave but who could resist the silver tongue of such a papi chulo? 😝

CT: I know how you feel. "Hercules" is one of my favorite Disney films in terms of characters and songs. Hades had several moments that were comedic, as well as made him quite the menacing villain, and Meg broke the standard Disney princess mold by not falling head over heels for Hercules at first glance nor starting out as good friends, but rather someone who developed feelings of affection over time. Their relationship felt natural, rather than the typical situation of them beating around the bush and making their relationship becoming romantic just a matter of time.

Knowing Mia and her… figure, she probably got hit on by practically every guy under the sun, from timid and nerdy to arrogant and meat-headed. So when she started working for Grossberg and she had to deal with Diego and all of his flirting and teasing, Mia probably just wrote him off as just another smooth-talking perve who was only interested in her for her looks. However, after the events of "Turnabout Beginnings", Mia's opinion towards Diego changed when he helped her cope with Terry's suicide and assisted her in trying to bring Dahlia to justice, showing her that he liked her for who she was.

RavenPuffPrefect1296

JP: I figure a little Pearl must have gotten the shipping genes from somewhere and Maya teasing big sister how about her romance with a certain Latino hunk was definitely the preliminary karma than set into motion for her baby cousin to someday be teasing her about her own special someone!

I totally forgotten that Lana and Mia were best friends at one point and she's such an often forgotten character I like throwing her in the mix whenever I can! 😊

JusticeforNoOne

JP: De rien mon cher...Pas de problème, parce que le français est une si belle langue, aussi!

To my knowledge, the romance languages, in no particular order, are considered to be French, Spanish and Italian.

However, while I personally am a sucker for any sexy accent... I will count any of the British Isles and Australian as well... I honestly believe Spanish to be the most beautiful out los tres idiomas románticos and picture Diego and his silver tongue while wooing his kitten sounding like Antonio Banderas in his Puss in Boots voice! 😉

There's is a reason me and my partner make such a great duet I originally was going to have Ace Phaya shipper, little Pearl, be the other part of the teasing duo but CT suggested Lana which actually made sense since she and Mia were actually best friends and she would have been privy to knowing how she felt about Diego deep down, as well as the fact that little Pearl would have been too young when me I was alive to really have grasped what was going on.

That being said, it's hilarious that you mentioned Pearl being part of karmic retribution and continuing the tradition by being the one to then torture Maya about Phoenix down the line, because that was exactly what I was thinking was the case! 😛

I am delighted that you enjoyed your dedication... So much but I will say it thrice...

Comme toujours le plaisir est à moi!

Como siempre, el gusto es mío!

Come sempre il piacere è mio!