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Chapter Twenty-Eight: Come Crashing
Living with Katara had its advantages and disadvantages. Zuko probably could have called this before he moved in, but it had never been more clear than now that APs were upon them. On one hand, he always had a study partner.
On the other hand, he always had a study partner.
"Dude, Kat," he finally said one afternoon, "when was the last time you showered?"
"Not important," she replied, flipping through her AP Art History flashcards. She was wearing the same sweatpants as the past two days, and her braid was beginning to look pointedly…uck.
"Very important," he replied, turning around from his desk. They'd kicked Sokka out a long time ago and were making AP camp in the boys' room. "You need to shower."
"Showering is for the weak."
"No, smelling like the underside of hell is for the weak."
"The Rhodes sculptor didn't shower!"
"Who?"
She groaned and put down her flashcards. "Do you have any appreciation for the fine arts?"
"Do you know anything about Calculus?"
"Don't need to, I'm going to be an art teacher."
"Well, I'm going to be a businessman, so I don't need to know art. Don't get off topic. You're taking a shower today."
"The test is in four days and I don't have anything past Abstract Expressionism memorized! You're going to have to make me."
Goddamn it, she had that fiery look in her eyes. The look she got when she really meant what she said. Zuko weighed his options.
"Okay," he responded. Then he walked over and scooped her up in his arms.
"Zuko! Goddamn it, put me down!"
"In a moment, milady," he said, walking to the bathroom. He kicked the door open with his foot and dumped her unceremoniously on the floor. While she spluttered, he grabbed a chair from Aang's room and stuck it under the doorknob.
"Zuko Agni!" She shrieked. "You let me out of this bathroom this instant!"
"Not until you shower!" He replied. "And don't just turn on the water for fifteen minutes, I'm going to know better than that."
The stony silence on the other side of the door told him that that was exactly what she was planning.
Aang came ambling down the hall and paused when he saw Zuko. "What are you doing?"
"AANG! Oh, thank God – Zuko locked me in the bathroom, you have to let me out!"
"Did you really just lock my girlfriend in the bathroom?" Aang asked.
"She hasn't showered in like five days."
"Oh. Yeah, I did notice that. Well, in that case, carry on."
And Aang walked back down the hall as Katara shrieked.
"Zuko, I swear to God, when I get out of this bathroom, I'm going to fucking – "
"Do whatever you want to me," he said, "as long as you are clean. And I mean fully clean, Katara. Hair washed included. I will not let you out of this bathroom until I see wet, washed hair and clean skin. I'm not going to study with a cesspool of bacteria."
Katara continued to rant and rave, but Zuko rolled his eyes, went back into the room and closed the door. After a few minutes of frantic yelling, she finally quieted down. And after that, the sound of the shower came on. Zuko smiled at his victory. Katara might be crazy about her studies, but he knew that she couldn't actually go that long without taking a shower.
His phone vibrated, and he pulled it out to read his text, assuming it was from Sokka or someone like that.
I want to talk to you.
It was Azula.
Zuko blinked for a few moments, staring at those words. He'd been giving Azula her space, figuring there was simply too much for him to attempt to explain if she wasn't willing to listen. As always, he tried to figure out the hidden meaning behind her words.
But it didn't look like there was one.
He texted back, Okay, no problem. Where/when?
Your house. Can you get everyone to leave?
He figured as much. There was still too much for her to be able to talk to the rest of them.
Sure. Come over in half an hour?
Yes.
He bit his lip as he stared at the screen. Which Azula would he be seeing tonight? Evil, bitchy Azula? Or the sister that had just had her entire life flipped upside down?
He walked outside and opened the bathroom door without peeking inside.
"I'm showering, can't you see?"
"Listen, Kat, I need you guys to leave the house for a little bit."
She poked her head out through the shower curtain, soap bubbles all in her long hair. "Why?"
"Azula wants to come over."
Katara's face slipped. "Oh, gosh."
Zuko nodded.
"Okay, well, go round up everyone else, and I'll finish up here."
He thanked God that his roommates were so cool. Grandpa immediately said that he would take them out to the zoo for a day, and everyone left, wishing Zuko good luck. He brewed a huge pot of rose hips tea and waited, his heart pounding.
Finally, he heard the soft purr of her red Jaguar, coming up in the driveway. She hurried up to the door, her eyes down like she was worried someone would see her, and rang the doorbell.
He opened the door and at first thought he was going to get silent Azula. She had her hair down in one braid over her shoulder, her cast hanging from her side, wearing a black t-shirt and jeans. She met his eyes.
"Hey, Zula," he said.
"Hey."
He motioned her inside, and she walked in, her eyes roving around the house, with its Buddhist mandalas all over the place and feng shui furniture arrangements. He poured her tea in a cast iron cup with a dragon and handed it to her. She nodded and drank wordlessly. Her gold eyes roved around aimlessly.
Zuko sat, drinking his own tea, unsure of what to say. They hadn't really talked since the hospital. Her legs were clenched tightly together.
"I had take plan B," she said suddenly.
Zuko seized up.
"Obviously he didn't use a condom. The nurses said it was just a precaution. I vomited for hours. My period was still late, but I think I'm in the clear now. The doctor said the trauma might still have permanently scarred me down there. I might not be able to have a child."
Zuko tried to reach her with his eyes, but she kept her eyes locked to the ground, her face defeated.
"Azula…I'm so sorry."
"Me too," she said.
The thought of Azula as a mother was terrifying, but he remembered her saying as a child that if she had a daughter she would name her after Ursa, their mother. And the thought of her dreams getting crushed was enough to make his stoic heart break.
"What's it like living here?" she asked.
"Do you want me to answer honestly, or tell you what you want to hear?"
"I don't know what I want to hear."
"It's really awesome," he admitted. "Grandpa – Aang's grandpa, his name is Gyatso – is so cool. He cooks for us and always wanted to hear about our days. He said he was proud of me for my last A in Calc." Both of them knew Ezain had never said that. "And the five of us get along really well. It's a lot of fun. I just feel…accepted. Like I belong here. I know they'd be so upset if I had to leave."
She processed, rolling her tongue around in her mouth. "And where are Mai and Ty Lee?"
"Living with Ty Lee's sister."
"And you guys were the ones who destroyed Ozai's mansion?"
"Yes."
"How did it feel?"
"Incredible," he admitted.
She took another sip of tea, her eyes closed shut.
"Rosehips," she said.
"Yeah. Your favorite."
"You remembered."
"Cause I love you, Azula."
He didn't mean for it to come out like that, but it did. She was a bitch and cruel and she'd spent most of her childhood bashing his dreams and she'd threatened to kill most of his friends, but she was still the sister that used to burn stuff with him in the backyard, the one that begrudgingly comforted him when Mom died, the sister that bought him booze when he and Ozai hung out and would go off to visit her friends with a wave of her hands, allowing him the privacy he'd so desperately needed. He had a feeling that she'd never tried to fight the abuse from their father because she wanted to protect him from the same fate. She'd always been aware of being the oldest.
Azula opened her eyes and looked at her, her face lined and her eyes filled with tears. Zuko couldn't help it. He jumped up and caught her in a hug. After a moment, she hugged him back, letting her head rest on his shoulder.
Of course it only lasted for a few minutes, but afterwards she rubbed the tears from her eyes and said, "I'm going to Kai University next year. In the Fire District."
"I'm glad! I know you wanted to go there."
She nodded. "Now understand, Zuko, I can't leave the house. And Ozai and I are broken up, but I can't go all Stockholm Syndrome like you."
He nodded. Where was she getting with this?
"I don't want social revolution. I want to go back to the Fire District, away from Dad, away from Ozai, closer to Mom's grave. I want to forget about all this shit. I'm tired and the healing process is taking way longer than I thought. So I'm not going to stand on top of the roofs and wave a banner saying 'Aang for Prom King'. Dad might actually kill me."
He nodded, hope suddenly bubbling in his heart.
"But I'll tell you this." Her gold eyes, which had been dull for so long, were suddenly sharp and filled with fire, like the Azula he'd always known. "I know the truth as well as you do. The truth about the lengths to which Dad and Azulon are willing to go for their plans. I didn't think they'd throw me under the bus. And nobody treats Azula Agni like that and gets away with it."
"So though it probably doesn't mean much," she said, her voice steady, "I'm voting for Aang for Prom King."
It was like the clouds had been lifted.
"Azula," he replied, "it means the whole world."
She actually smiled. "Don't go making a big deal out of it. Tell your little friends if you want. I'm still not going to acknowledge them in the halls. But if I have any friends left, I'll try and convince them too."
"Thank you so much," he said. "Oh, my God, thank you."
"No problem, ZuZu." She stood up to go, putting her tea cup in the sink. She seemed to walk taller, her back a little straighter. She allowed him to give her another hug at the door as she fished for her keys.
"Is the Water District girl running for Prom Queen?" she asked.
"I don't know, we haven't really talked about it. Katara probably would like it, though."
"Well, tell her to put her name in. If I lost to her, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world."
Who was this girl and what had happened to Azula?
"Besides, I'm about a foot taller than Aang, we'd look stupid dancing together."
Ah, there it was.
"Will do, Zula," he said with a smile. "Tell Dad I hate him!"
"That makes two of us," she said, managing a wave as she walked down to her car. He watched her drive off, leaning in the doorway, and smiled.
"Ozai, not even you could break my sister," he said aloud.
Spring was in the air. Katara shed her heavy jeans and coats for shorts and t-shirts as she panicked over APs, mercifully clean now. Appa was shedding, leaving chunks of creamy white fur around the house for them to pick up. Aang went on long runs around the neighborhood. Zuko was finally forced to get a haircut, and he said he actually preferred the way he was cooler with less hair.
And Sokka watched Toph from the porch.
She was apparently doing reading for her history class, but everyone knew better. She had her iPod in and was mouthing words to herself as her fingers rarely moved across the page. There was a tall lemonade in her hand and she was wearing just her booty shorts, those thick white legs finally getting some sun as she lay in the grass outside. With her cane tossed to the side, it looked like she was actually at peace.
Sokka wanted to join her, wanted to partake in this peace. Because he hadn't really been at peace since everything went down. They were fine, they were on speaking terms, but she only really talked to him when they were in the big group, and he missed the times when he would sit in her room and they'd play guitar together. He wasn't sure where to go. Did she know he was sorry? She hadn't freaked out or cut herself, not that they could tell, but that almost made it more complicated for him. He'd never been good at reading her emotions.
The door slammed shut, and he heard the ragged breaths of Aang coming back from a run. Sokka turned around as his roommate walked up, sweat leaking through his shirt, as he tried to wipe off his forehead.
"Are you being a creeper again?" Aang said.
"Shut up."
"You know, you could try talking to her. It's what civilized people do."
"I'm working on it. How was your run?"
"Hot. Don't change the subject. Are you going to ask her to Prom or not?"
"I mean, yes, obviously, but – "
"Then you gotta mend things before you go doing that!"
Sokka rolled his eyes as Katara's voice came from her room – "He's right, Sokka."
"Shouldn't you be studying?"
"Shouldn't you not be a jackass?"
Sokka curled his lip and thought as Aang ambled off to the kitchen to get water. To be fair, he thought, Toph sucks at expressing her emotions too. I've never even seen her do it, except when she's got cigarettes or razors or a guitar –
Fuckin' duh!
Aang had said it himself, a while back, when they were watching her fight.
"Aang!"
"What?"
"Have you learned any more guitar?"
"Toph taught me like three chords, but it's not like I've been practicing or anything – "
"ZUKO!"
No answer.
"Zuko, I know you can hear me, damn it!"
"What?" he yelled from his room.
"You play guitar, don't you?"
"Not really, just a few chords."
"Ugh. Well, do you play anything else? Like bass or drums?"
Zuko stuck his head out of his room. "Why?"
"Don't ask questions. Do you?"
"I played drums in middle school band, yeah, but that's about it."
"Hmm." Sokka stroked his chin. "Okay, we can work with that."
"If you want a bassist for whatever idiotic plan you're concocting, Mai plays bass."
"Really?" Sokka snapped his head around.
"Yeah, she's actually good too. She's been playing since she was a kid. She's been in all kinds of goth girl bands."
Sokka continued to stroke an imaginary beard.
"Dude, what are you planning?" Aang said.
"Another shot at the girl," he replied.
None of them definitely knew what they were doing as they plugged in amps and mics. Zuko was disgruntled as he attempted to tune the terribly out-of-tune drumset that they'd borrowed from the jazz band, but Mai had a small smile as she tuned her bass, looking more at home than Aang had seen her all year. Aang himself loved the feel of that guitar against his hips, the weight of it on his neck. A small crowd stood in the back of the room, with Meng jumping up and down and Suki smiling with her girls. The only one who looked like he was going to shit himself was Sokka.
"Dude, there's no way this is going to work," he whispered to Aang. "She's gonna hate it, she's gonna call me an asshole and walk away again."
"It's gonna work fine," Aang replied. "She doesn't hate you, she's just confused. Plus, this song is awesome. And it's your only chance, since neither of you can talk about your feelings for shit."
"Thanks, Mr. Sensitive. You try dating a female MMA fighter and tell me how your manliness feels afterwards."
Aang rolled his eyes, and then Katara's voice came through the hall. "Thanks for coming, honey, it really means a lot…"
"Well, I don't exactly know what's going on, but whatever…just as long as it's nothing embarrassing…"
Katara's face was popping with excitement as she dragged Toph into the gym. A smile spread over Sokka's face. Just wearing blue jeans and a green t-shirt, her hair in a bun, she was still stunning. The crowd tittered and Toph narrowed her eyes and looked around.
"What's going on - ?"
Time to come clean. Sokka cleared his throat in the mic and his amplified voice made Toph straighten up. "Uh…hey, Toph."
"Sokka? What is this?"
"This…" he hesitated. "This is me, trying to…I don't know. But please just listen, okay? Mai and Zuko and Aang and I are here, and I'm gonna…tell you how I feel, okay?"
She was caught off guard, her eyebrows narrowed, but Sokka knew this was his only chance. He looked back at Zuko, who counted off.
"One, two," he said, clicking his sticks, "one, two, three, four – "
(I normally don't do this, but this scene will be so much better if you listen to the song:
go to YouTube and put this after the dot-com part: /watch?v=nd4j1Ms1VYE)
Sokka started on the lead guitar, playing the lead chords as Mai took the piano part on the bass. Aang strummed along and Zuko waited. Toph's face changed as she realized what song it was, but Sokka took a deep breath and sang into the mic –
"I can't fight this feeling any longer – and yet I'm still afraid to let it flow…"
Katara and the girls screamed as Toph wrapped her arms around herself, like she couldn't believe this was happening to her.
"What started out as friendship has grown stronger…I only wish I had the strength to let it show…"
Sokka poured his whole heart into the lyrics, trying to say with his voice what he'd never be able to say with his face, trying to reach into the heart of the broken blind girl in the one language she truly spoke.
"I tell myself that I can't hold out forever, I said there's no reason for my fear…cause I feel so secure when we're together. You give my life direction, you make everything so clear – "
Aang and Mai joined in on backup vocals, which Mai looked very disgruntled about, but Sokka couldn't pay attention to haters, not when Toph's eyes were so wide as they were now.
"Cause even as I wander, I'm keeping you in sight – you're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night! And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might – "
Zuko suddenly slammed on the drums, the whole music reached a crescendo, Toph's eyes strained upward, and Sokka sang out –
"Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore! I've forgotten what I started fighting for… It's time to bring this ship into shore, and throw away the oars, forever – "
He looked her dead in the eyes, willing her to reach out in her darkness and feel him, and sang -
"Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore…I've forgotten what I've started fighting for! And if I have to crawl upon the floor, come crashing through your door, baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore!"
Everyone was screaming and Toph had a hand pressed to her mouth, her whole body looking so vulnerable, her eyes wide and searching. Sokka's heart jumped up. Did this mean he had a chance?
"My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you…I've been running round in circles in my mind. And it always seems like I'm following you, girl – cause you take me to the places, that alone I'd never find!"
Katara was crying, her fingers pressed to her mouth, and Toph looked like she was on the verge, and Sokka just swallowed and finished –
"Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore…I've forgotten what I started fighting for. And if I have to crawl upon the floor, come crashing through your door…" he took a deep breath. "Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore."
They finished on a final chord and the whole room cheered. But everyone's eyes were on Toph, as she kept one hand pressed to her mouth and one hand wrapped around her middle, shaking in her blue jeans.
"Toph," Sokka said, his voice resounding through the gym, "I'm sorry. I'm telling you in front of all these people, I'm so sorry. I never want to hurt you. I love you, and if you give me another chance, I really think we've got a chance at something great, and I'll never hurt you again. So I guess what I'm saying is…" he swallowed. "Will you go to Prom with me?"
The entire room erupted in cheers, even from the band, who didn't know that this was at the end. Toph pressed both hands to her mouth now as real tears spilled from her eyes. She looked up at them with those mystical, green-white eyes, and Sokka swore she was trying to look for him.
She turned to Katara and said something softly. Katara immediately went and grabbed her cane and gave it to her, and Toph wrapped the loop around her wrist and tapped her way to the stage, taking out her hair elastic on the way so that all of her long black hair fell over her chest. Aang helped her up the stairs, and finally she was on the stage, a few feet away from Sokka. She turned to Aang and asked,
"Can I borrow the guitar?"
Aang immediately slipped it off and she let her cane fall and slipped the strap over her own shoulders. Then she looked up, all of her hair down, wearing her tank top and guitar, and Sokka knew she was about to do something she didn't normally do.
"I'm not exactly fantastic at expressing my emotions either," she said, her voice trembling, "but I want you to know that this is going to be the first and last time I ever play this song, so… you better enjoy that it's for you, okay?"
(/watch?v=5V430M59Yn8)
Sokka just nodded, not knowing what was going on. Toph rubbed her lips together, took a deep breath, and formed a chord. The sound came out soft through the amps, her fingers gently strumming, playing the guitar like only she could. Moving closer to the mic, she sang, in a soft voice,
"Wise men say…only fools rush in…"
Sokka suddenly realized what she was singing, and his own eyes almost filled with tears.
"But I can't help…falling in love with you…" she sang, smiling through her tears.
Katara was flat-out sobbing now, and all the girls in the crowd sighing and oohing. Mai struck up a slow bassline, and Zuko grabbed the brushes and kept tempo.
"Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can't help falling in love with you…" Her voice was so sure, so soft, her smile sweeter than any he'd ever seen.
"Like a river flows surely to the sea, darling so it goes – some things are meant to be…"
He couldn't believe she was singing this song to him, that he was getting this song sung to him at all, and that this beautiful strong girl was standing here with a guitar showing him every piece of her broken heart, the heart that he himself had broken.
"Take my hand…take my whole life too…" A little sob escaped from her. "But I can't help falling in love with you!"
He couldn't stop it. He picked up his guitar and started singing too.
"Like a river flows surely to the sea, darling so it goes – some things are meant to be. So take my hand…take my whole life too…" They really made a perfect harmony. "For I can't help falling in love with you…for I can't help falling in love…with you."
They finished on a soft chord as everyone around them cheered. And they looked at each other, as much as two people can look at each other when one is blind, and Toph was smiling and crying at the same time.
"Yes," she finally said.
Then she slung her guitar over her back, walked forward and kissed him like it was the last thing she'd ever do on earth.
Sokka closed his eyes and kissed her back, thanking God that at least for this one moment, everything was right in the world.
Awww fluff! I really hope this wasn't too cheesy, but I don't know, I think that this would actually happen. Plus yaaaay Tokka! I guess you guys all know how I truly ship :) So I'm gonna be in Cali this weekend so I don't know how much time I'll have to write/when I'll be able to update, but next chapter's another fun one, kind of a last hurrah for the Gaang before we get into Prom craziness!
Thank you all SO MUCH for getting me to 300 reviews! You guys cream my twinkie :) with all the love in my Avatard heart - PVB
