Thanks to Comet Moon, Mr. Wizard, screaming phoenix, JCS1966, Eddy13, Quathis, Katsumara, Mahler Avatar, Sentinel103, Jason Barnett, CajunBear73, whitem, airwalker999, Molloy, and campy for reviewing and to everyone for reading.
Special thanks to campy for proofreading this chapter.
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KP © Disney
"And we're at Smarty Mart why?" the other Kim asked.
"You'll see," Kim said as she led her doppelganger through the store. The two redheads walked past livestock, jetpacks, pets, and canned Vienna sausage before they arrived at their destination. Kim smiled while her double tried to take in the sight before her.
"Kim, meet Ron and Ron. Ron and Ron, meet Kim."
"Hola!" Ron said.
"Hi," the other Kim said nervously, her gaze locked on the older of the two Stoppables sitting before her.
"Uh, hi," the other Ron replied as he rose to his feet. Rubbing the back of his neck he added, "the short hair looks good on you."
"Thanks," she said, nervously tucking one foot behind the other. "The beard's spankin'."
"Ron, I think we should see if they have any accessories for Rufus," Kim said.
"Accessories?" a befuddled Ron responded. "He's naked and proud of it …"
Kim glared at her BF.
"Ooooh!" he said as he realized what his GF was up to. "The Ron-man's all about accessories for his little buddy."
Kim rolled her eyes, gave Ron an indulgent smile, then led him away.
The two doppelgangers stood in silence for what seemed a clichéd eternity before they both blurted out, "I'm sorry!"
"Jinx!" the other Kim called out instinctively.
The other Ron grinned. "Man, have I missed that. So, what do I owe you?"
She took his hands in hers. "The opportunity to apologize."
"For what? I'm the one who was a jerk! You haven't done anything!"
"Not to you, but I need to do this."
"Okay, on one condition. I get to do the same."
"Deal."
The other Kim began speaking, slowly at first, then at a staccato pace the other Ron remembered all too well. He listened intently, and as she spoke of the confusion she experienced as she grappled with her sexual identity, and how that turmoil affected all of her relationships, especially the one she had with him, he pulled her into a supportive embrace. She told him how she hated the way she had left him for Shego, for the things she had said and done to him, how relieved she was to be with him.
"Don't count your chickens before they bark, KP," he said.
She smirked at the Ronnism. "Why?"
"Because the Ron you left may have been a stand-up guy but this Rondo has not always lived up to the Stoppable name." Uneasily, he explained how he let fame go to his head, how he'd let himself be sweet-talked by Bonnie, and focused on being Mr. Smarty's right hand man and a player instead of supporting Kim as she adjusted to life post-Graduation and continuing with Team Possible. "Bottom line, Kimbo: The Ronman is a jerk."
The other Kim cupped the other Ron's cheeks in her hands. "You sound like a jerk who doesn't want to be a jerk," she said encouragingly.
"Yeah, though it's hard breaking out of character, even when it's out of character. I've been written this way for so long and I don't want to hurt you."
"I know what you mean. But you're still my Potential Boy and I can still do anything, so …"
She looked at him invitingly. Their hearts began to race and they started to bring their lips together.
"No! No, you cannot do this!"
The two star-crossed characters sighed and looked to the source of the interruption: a goatee-sporting guy with too-hip glasses and a collarless shirt. Kim grimaced.
"You know this guy, KP?" the other Ron asked.
"Ron, meet my author. Author, meet Ron."
"This is not Ron," the guy said.
The other Ron looked down at himself. "What do you mean? Of course I'm Ron."
"Not in her universe, you're not. Come on," he said, grabbing the other Kim by the arm. "Shego's expecting you. It's your anniversary and you promised you'd play cops and robbers with her. You know how much she likes to be arrested."
"You role play?" an astonished other Ron asked.
The other Kim blushed.
"Yeah, she does," a familiar snarky voice answered. "Problem is, she'd rather be doing it with you. Any moron knows that."
"Shego?" the other Kim said in surprise.
"Hello, Pumpkin."
"What are you doing here?" the guy demanded.
"When Kimmie went missing, I went looking. Found my way to wherever we are. Along the way, a funny thing happened: I acquired consciousness. Don't know how, don't know why, but I tapped into the original me and realized that what I want is Drakken, not Miss Priss. Only problem is, you messed things up for Doctor D and me big time."
Seeing the look of confusion on the other Ron's face, the other Kim offered an explanation: "After Graduation, Drakken asked Shego on a date; she said no."
"So? When did failure ever stop Drakken?"
"I turned him down in front of the entire United Nations," the other Shego said.
"During a global telecast," the other Kim added.
"Ouch." The other Ron winced.
"Drakken wound up with Electronique."
"Harsh," the other Ron said.
"Don't you know it," Shego said. "Being dissed by me was bad enough, but winding up married to Electrolady? It makes me wanna barf."
"You were happy enough at the wedding!" the guy snapped.
"Only because you made me that way!"
"Exactly. You're who I say you are. And so is Kim!"
"Dude, you've got some serious control issues," the other Ron said.
"That's it. Kim, Shego, we're out of here. Now!"
"Sorry, so not happening," the other Kim said defiantly.
"What are you going to do? In case you haven't figured it out, you can't go to his universe. You planning on staying here in a Pan-Dimensional Smarty Mart?"
"It's better than living in your Sapphoerotic storyline," she countered.
"You can't do this!" the guy protested. "I have fans!"
"You mean fantasies," the other Shego gibed.
"That's it," he said, whipping out his laptop. "You two are going to start lip smacking. Now."
The other Kim puckered her lips – and defiantly planted a big kiss on the other Ron.
"This can't be happening! You're gay!"
"Bi, actually," the other Kim said serenely. "You forgot the times I kissed – or wanted to kiss – boys in the show and clearly enjoyed myself."
The author sputtered.
"Why don't you take your daydreams and your laptop and go home," the other Shego said sweetly. "Before I fry you," she added as she fired up her glow power.
"You think you're all that, but you'll see! If it's not me, there will be others. You two will be together, whether you like it or not!"
"Maybe, but at least everyone will know who we really want to be with," the other Kim said as she wrapped her arm around the other Ron's waist.
The guy glowered at the characters, then stormed out of the store.
"Well, that was bizarro," the other Ron said.
"Understatement much?" the other Kim said.
An uneasy silence fell on the threesome.
"So, uh, do you two need to, uh, talk?" the other Ron asked.
"Nah," the other Shego said. "There's not much to say."
"That's not true," the other Kim said. "Thanks for having my back. I owe you one."
"Yeah, you do," the other Shego said. "And you can start by finding me a Drakken."
The other Kim looked at her Ron inquiringly. "Sorry, KP, but in my 'verse Drakken and Shego are married with kids."
"Kids?" the other Shego asked, a touch of wonder and definite envy in her voice.
"Yeah, a boy and a girl," the other Ron answered. "One's blue, the other's green, and they're both a handful!"
The other Shego bit her lip, then turned away. "I'm sorry," the other Kim said sympathetically
"Don't be," the other Shego said bitterly. "Now why don't you and Stoppable just go and be sickeningly lovey-dovey."
"Not until we find you a Drakken," Kim declared.
Ron gulped. "And while we're at it, maybe you ought to find me a really good divorce lawyer."
"Excuse me?"
"Ron Stoppable, you are so dead!" Bonnie Rockwaller Stoppable yelled from the end of the aisle.
To Be Concluded …
