Teddy's apartment looked exactly like what one would expect it to. Mismatched furniture was complimented with an excess of knick-knacks throughout every room. The apartment was messy and slightly unorganized, and there was a thin layer of dust coating a majority of the rooms' surfaces.
Teddy had shown Scorpius the couch after they returned from the ministry, and he had not move from it since then. Rather, Scorpius had lain down, his face facing the couch's back.
He had been touched that Teddy had invited him, but Scorpius wanted to be alone. He had never been much for company to begin with, and at a time when he felt like dying all he really wanted was solitude.
Teddy had taken to tiptoeing around the apartment, unsure of whether Scorpius was sleeping or not – something he felt his cousin needed desperately. Teddy had always been a night owl, but that night after being at the ministry he had passed out early and slept more soundly than he should have. When he had woken early the next morning he quietly made his way to the kitchen, peering his head into the living room. The only adjustment Scorpius had made was to take his cloak off, warm in the summer's night air.
Teddy began to quietly fix himself tea, heating the water up with his wand rather than using the kettle. As he began to fix himself toast, there was a frantic tapping at the window.
"Shh," he said as reached for the window. Two owls – the regular daily prophet owl and also Lily's owl – ushered there way indoors. "Where do you think you're going?" he whispered to Lily's owl when he saw it getting ready to fly into the other room to Scorpius.
He couldn't help but think the owl looked as sad as he felt. It stuck his leg out and saw the note he was addressed to Scorpius.
"He's sleeping," Teddy whispered again, but he heard Scorpius raise himself into a sitting position in the other room.
"I'm awake," Scorpius' hoarse voice said. He sounded like he was dehydrated.
Teddy didn't even need say anything before the owl came to perch itself near Scorpius. Giving him a moment of privacy to read his note, Teddy took the paper from the other owl who promptly took his leave.
"Good day to you to, sir," Teddy said. He opened the newspaper and the coverage of Lily had continued for another day, however the details of her funeral now took up a majority for the front page. It was to be two days from now, in the same cemetery in Godric's Hollow where Harry's parents were buried and close to all of London's wizarding community was expected to appear, paying their respects to the savior of the wizarding world.
Teddy's eyes fell on the picture of Lily. He had never seen it before, but he could tell it was one the Prophet had taken from a ministry function. Lily smiled and waved, her brother's arms on either side of her. His heart twisted in pain, it wasn't fair that she was gone.
Before he could feel sad any longer he heard a crash from the room Scorpius was in. Turning quickly to see what happened he saw that a decorative bowl Teddy's grandmother gave him as a house-warming present was in pieces in the floor.
"I'm, I'm sorry," Scorpius said. He was red in the face from anger, and his arm was still in the air as if he just thrown it.
"It's all right, never liked the thing much anyway," Teddy replied coming into the room. He used his wand to repair it, though it still looked slightly haphazard. "Who was the letter from?"
Scorpius stuck it out to him and fell back onto the couch, rubbing his temples. Edwy, Lily's owl, hopped onto Scorpius' lap, looking to be pet.
Teddy's eyes quickly read the letter.
Scorpius – The Daily Prophet is announcing details of Lily's funeral today. The family kindly asks that you respect their wishes and not attend. Enclosed in this note you will find the bracelet you gave Lily, we thought you would like it back in her memory.
Regretfully yours,
Hermione Weasley
Teddy looked from the letter to Scorpius and to the letter again.
"They don't speak for everyone in the family," he said and walked to the fireplace, throwing the letter into the flames. Anger flared inside him thinking of how the boys got their aunt to write that, knowing the Ginny was still to in grief to be of use to anyone.
"I understand why they hate me," Scorpius said as Teddy turned around to sit with him. Scorpius played with the bracelet in his one hand while petting the owl's head with his other. "I just wish they wouldn't try to act that we weren't important to each other."
"Scorpius," Teddy said and hesitantly put his hand on his back. "I think they hate themselves more."
"I hate myself the most. If I had just stayed away from her, if I hadn't let myself feel the way I felt, she would still be alive." He began crying, and the owl hopped closer to him, trying comfort each other in their respective sadness.
"You heard what that witch said, you were fated. One way or another you would've found each other. I grew up with Lily and she was," the use of past tense made Teddy flinch. "is, and always will be, my little sister. I can say with full authority that Lily never did anything half way. If she loved you, which is so plainly evident, than there was no choice for her to make but the choice she did."
"I hate myself for there ever having to be a choice for her to make." He said, and while Teddy could never comprehend the pain that Scorpius felt, he understood the sentiment.
"It may take decades, but one day they'll come around," he patted his cousin's back.
After a few minutes when Scorpius didn't respond Teddy rose to leave him alone. Scorpius curled into a ball and lay back down on the couch, the owl refusing to leave his side.
"How could she leave us alone, buddy?" he asked petting the owl's head. "Why would she do that?"
Images of Lily flashed through Scorpius' mind. Her warm smile, the way the sunlight reflected off her hair, her beautiful body intertwined in sheets with his. He couldn't help but think back to that morning after Valentine's Day when Lily had woken up, cuddled next to him. His heart had sored at the idea that this was their future, that they could wake up to each other every morning that way, and thinking about it now it made his heart crumble.
Those lazy mornings could never be, Scorpius would spend every morning waking up cold and alone for the rest of his life. That was not a future that he wanted.
As much as he wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to be mad at Lily for doing what she did. He knew why she didn't tell him, but he was so mad at himself for not realizing what was going on. Lily was the one thing that made him better, gave him the strength to fight; of course it had to tax her in some way. If he hadn't been so blinded by love, he would've seen this sooner. He could never forgive himself.
Teddy had left Scorpius alone all day and night and into the next morning, feeling that it was better to give him space. But as the day progressed and Scorpius continued to lie there, his sadness driving him into a trance like state, Teddy felt overwhelmed. So he did the only thing he could think when he was overwhelmed, turned to his grandmother for help.
The flames in Teddy's fireplace turned green before Teddy could tell Scorpius that she was coming. Andromeda, who was now in her sixties, roared to life in the living room. She wore a long back dress, and her soft brown hair was piled neatly on her head.
"Really, Ted," she said looking around at the room, it was in a state of disarray, something she could not stand.
"Hi Gran," he said. Typically they would quarrel back and forth about the mess, but she could tell he was not in the mood. Instead, she took several steps forward, her eyes unable to leave the mess, and hugged her grandson.
Teddy hadn't realized how much he needed to be consoled until he felt his grandmother's embrace. He couldn't stop his body from shuddering at the weight of everything that had happened, finally being able to release his grief.
"I know," Andromeda said and repeated, rocking her grandson in her arms. "I miss her too."
Scorpius had sat up as this happened, feeling intrusive to the moment. Not wanting to take away from it he slowly raised himself from the couch and tried to take an unsuspecting step to the door.
"Scorpius," Teddy said pulling away from his grandmother.
"I didn't want to-," he began but was cut off.
"This is your great-aunt, Andromeda, your grandmother's sister. Gran, this is Scorpius Malfoy."
Andromeda took him in, realizing that Scorpius looked much worse for wear than her grandson did.
Scorpius wasn't sure how to respond. "hello" and "so nice to meet you" were too casual for how his heart ached in this moment.
"Hello, dear," she said and took a step forward embracing him as well. "Teddy told me what happened… I'm so sorry for your loss."
At those words Scorpius openly sobbed. No one had offered him any condolences, and not that they had to, but he felt Lily was as much his as she was her family's. Being recognized as a part of Lily's life meant more to him than he realized it would.
"Shh," Andromeda comforted Scorpius patting his back. This made him even more emotional, thinking of how his mother used to comfort him.
"Teddy, why don't you put on the kettle," she said directing her son to the kitchen. "Scorpius, when was the last time you ate?" she asked, pushing him away just slightly so she could look him in the eye.
Scorpius rubbed his eyes, brushing away tears. He shrugged, he honestly couldn't remember the last time he ate, and truly he didn't feel hungry.
"Well that's that. I'm going to make you boys a proper meal. What do you like Scorpius? Sheppard's Pie? Bangers and Mash?" when he didn't respond she smiled, "a little of everything then!"
"Gran makes the best Sheppard's Pie," Teddy said reassuringly to Scorpius, walking out of the kitchen with two teacups in his hands. He handed one to Scorpius who took it, but did not bring it to his lips.
"Come here for a sec," Teddy said walking towards the couch Scorpius had been living on. Scorpius trodded over and sat down, still holding on to his cup of tea. "I just remembered I took this, and I thought you should have it."
Teddy reached into his sweater pocket and pulled out the picture he took of Lily and Scorpius from the night they graduated Hogwarts. The couple was so happy in the picture, smiling and laughing with cake on their noses, Scorpius' eye black from the bludger Hugo had hit at him.
Teddy wasn't sure what Scorpius' reaction would be when he saw it, but was pleased to see him laugh out loud. The reaction took Scorpius off guard, but seeing Lily look so silly, seeing her lean up against him in the picture, it warmed him entirely.
"It's our only picture together," Scorpius confessed to Teddy, his eyes remaining on the picture. In the short time they had been together, they never had been anywhere else where there was a camera.
"Well what a perfect picture to share then, yeah? Lily Potter at her finest, a giant goofball," Teddy said watching Scorpius' smile. His thumb ran up and down the picture's edge. "You know, everyone thought that James and Albus were behind some of the infamous Potter pranks the lot was known for, but it was usually Lily. Everyone thought she was a goody two shoes, and she was the most tricky one out of the group."
Teddy began launching into stories about some of the pranks Lily and her brothers pulled on friends and family. The time they stole Professor Longbottom's wand during herbology lessons, when they enchanted fried frog's legs to come to life at one of Fleur's dinners. Many of these stories were ones Lily had told Scorpius before. It made him smile that in such a short time Lily had shared so much of her life with him, and it also pained him that she would never again have the chance to pull a prank, tell a joke or make someone laugh.
"You were so lucky that you got to have so much time with her," Scorpius said, and he watched Teddy's eyes well up.
"Yeah," he smiled, both men knew that any time either had with her wasn't long enough. "But Lily was more real with you than she ever was with anyone else. That girl showed you the inner most parts of her soul, and that's a side of Lily Potter that I don't think anyone else has been able to see."
"I'm not ready to say goodbye to her," Scorpius confessed, he didn't think he would ever be, but seeing her so happy, knowing that she wouldn't be again; it was too much for him.
Both men choked back tears before Teddy responded. "None of us are, but we don't get to make that choice. "
"I just can't," Scorpius replied. They sat there in silence before Andromeda came in to collect them. It was a small apartment, and she couldn't help but listen to their conversations. Herding them into the kitchen, she sat them down and dished out her Sheppard's Pie. As Teddy reached out for his fork, Andromeda stopped him.
"What?" he asked confused. He watched as his grandmother turned around and opened up a cabinet. Facing the table again, she revealed a bottle of firewhisky and three glasses.
"Gran?" Teddy asked, surprised by his grandmother's behavior.
"I think we all could take a little edge off," she said pouring. She handed a glass to both of them before raising hers.
"To Lily," she said and the boys repeated. They clinked their glasses together and quickly drinking the burning liquid.
"Ted, your hair!" Scorpius couldn't help but comment, it had turned from jet black to fire red.
"I can't help it when I drink, mate," Teddy smiled and that elicited a chuckle out of everyone. "Lily always loved when I made faces at the dinner table."
As they ate, they all continued to share stories about Lily. Some made them laugh, others made them cry. Scorpius realized it was nice being able to talk to people about her, to miss her with others who didn't hate him for reasons he couldn't control. He didn't hate himself any less, or feel any less responsible for Lily being gone, but for a little while talking with those close to her made him feel like she was there.
"Scorpius, help me clean up?" Andromeda asked as they finished dinner. Teddy thought it was odd that his grandmother asked his guest instead of him, but assumed she was up to something. He made his exit of the kitchen.
Scorpius rolled up his sleeves and walked to the sink, mimicking Andromeda's actions.
"You know, there was a time in my life where I lost a lot of my loved ones in rapid succession," she said, not knowing how much Scorpius knew of the family's history. "I know what it feels like to be left with no one."
The words hit Scorpius in the chest hard, he really was alone.
"First my husband Ted, Teddy's namesake, was killed. Then my daughter Nymphadora and her husband, Remus, right after they had their son." Scorpius heard her voice crack at the memory.
"I'm sorry," Scorpius apologized. To be the last one standing after everyone was a terrible feeling. He watched as Andromeda closed her eyes and took a breath to compose herself.
"Each person's passing was harder than the last, and I didn't think I could say goodbye to them either." At this he turned to look at his great-aunt. "It's not easy, Merlin knows that, but saying good bye sets you both free. You can't let the grief consume you, that's not what Lily died for."
Scorpius let the words sink in. He didn't want to be free of Lily for a second, he wanted her to consume him as he had her, he wanted Lily to be alive in his arms not just his heart. Saying goodbye meant that what they shared had reached its end.
"My heart won't let me," he confessed, tears brimming his eyes. Andromeda placed her arm around him and squeezed tightly.
"You have to be stronger than that," she whispered. They went back to washing dishes in silence, the words crushing him completely.
It was late when Andromeda was preparing to leave, and sadness was growing as the night settled in.
"Teddy I laid out your good dress robes for tomorrow," Andromeda said and her grandson rolled his eyes. Even in his late twenties his grandmother felt compelled to take care of him. "Scorpius, do you have anything to wear?"
The question took him off guard, and his hand shot to his pocket that still held the bracelet he had given Lily, that the Potter's had taken off of her.
"They asked me not to come," he said, the words hard for him to get out.
"Well you're not going to listen to them, are you?" she asked, surprised that he would. Scorpius looked at his feet, unsure. Andromeda walked over to him and cupped his cheek with her hand.
"You belong to be there as much as any of us do. It would be an insult to Lily if you didn't come." She smiled, and with a quick goodbye she flooed home.
"I really think you should, mate. Tomorrow's not about Harry and the boys, it's about remembering and saying goodbye to Lily. She would want you there," Teddy said, still angry with his family for asking Scorpius not to attend.
Scorpius nodded and retired to the couch, lost in thought as Teddy went to his bedroom.
Scorpius didn't want to say goodbye to Lily, he wanted her to be alive. Seeing her dead had already nearly killed him, tomorrow would be his undoing. He wasn't sure if he could deal with the pain of that, and then cause even more pain for Lily's family who so clearly didn't want him there. The thought was almost too much to bear.
"There you are, Edwy," Scorpius said as the owl flew through the open window and perched on the couch arm Scorpius laid his head on. The owl cooed softly and began to preen.
Scorpius brought the picture Teddy had given him up near his head, and fell asleep watching the image of Lily kiss him on his image's cheek, his heart clenching at the sight.
All of a sudden Scorpius was in Diagon Alley and it was crowded. His heart was sore, but he didn't know why, and he walked without purpose down the street. Children ran from stall to store, in between his legs, and wizards and witches bumped into him uttering apologies.
"Oi!" Scorpius heard a voice say behind him as someone tugged on his cloak. He whipped around to see who it was.
"Lily?" he asked, and the reality that she was gone came racing back to him instantaneously. He grabbed her in his arms and kissed her, picking her up and spinning her around. He felt her giggle against his lips and he squeezed her tightly, not believing that he was with her again.
"You're hard to get ahold of! I was chasing you for minutes!" she replied and brushed some hair out of his face, taking him in. She brought her nose to his and nuzzled against it.
"Lily, are you?" he couldn't say the word; being with her was too good to be true and he didn't want anything to spoil it. Her eyes grew sad and she nodded. "But is this real." She avoided the second question.
"Don't be angry with me," she said as he placed her on the ground. She rested her cheek against his shoulder and he brought his lips to the top of her head. "I would make the same choice again if I needed too."
"How do I live without you?" he asked holding her tight. This felt so real, having her in his arms, he couldn't live without her.
"You just do. You're free from the curse now, go do amazing things."
"Free without you means nothing to me! Lily, you're my everything."
"We'll be together again," she said looking up at him. "Ours is the kind of love that saves." Lily kissed him hard on the lips, nibbling on his bottom one so that it drew blood. "To remember me by in the mean time." She winked and started to back away.
"Lily?" Scorpius asked, confused. His finger rushed up to his mouth and he saw a blood droplet on it.
"Ask Teddy to wear his hair pink for me? Like that day at Shell Cottage."
"What?" Scorpius asked confused.
"He'll know," she smiled. She continued to back away slowly, and bright light growing around her. "And bring me my bracelet!"
"Lily!" Scorpius cried, as the light grew brighter around her.
"I love you, Scorp."
Scorpius woke with a jolt, sitting up straight. The sun shone brightly into the living room, and his heart raced. Had he just really been with Lily?
