Of all the torments, all the cares;
With which our lives are curst;
Of all the plagues a lover bears,
Sure rivals are the worst!
By partners in each other kind,
Afflictions easier grow;
In love alone we hate to find,
Companion, of our woe.

Sylvia, for all the pages you see
Are lab'ring in my breast;
I beg not you would favour me,
Would you but slight the rest!
How great soe'er your rigours are,
With them alone I'll cope;
I can endure my own despair,
But not another's hope.

—William Walsh


When Fitzwilliam-Blake collected D'Arcy that afternoon Miss Bacon was there as well. She had wished to see the marionette show again. Her presence meant he and Henry could not talk privately but D'Arcy did not have anything in particular to say though he had been concerned about all the recent reports of attacks or near-attacks by Bras Pique. He had hoped that Governor Miró would have returned by now and began to consider that the reports of Miró being held against his will might be true. He thought that Havana should be his first stop once leaving New Orleans since he was getting nowhere with the nonsensical interim acting governor.

As soon as they entered the open space at the end of town they were approached by the Irishman Nick Owens who reintroduced himself to their party but seemed especially attentive to Miss Bacon.

"Have you heard about the governor's ball?" Asked the Irishman all eyes for the plump young lady on Henry's arm.

"Oh! Yes," she replied.

"Are you going?" He pressed looking at her with obvious admiration. It seemed to stir something in his cousin who moved Miss Bacon a little closer to him.

"No, we sail the next morning," replied Mary Bacon, "we are to leave quite early, are we not?" She looked wistfully up at Fitzwilliam-Blake. "Otherwise I should love to go. I have never been to a ball. Dances and assemblies, yes, but never a ball!" D'Arcy had not truly considered Fitzwilliam-Blake's passenger; he knew she was a friend to Lisette and he mostly considered her in that context. But he could hear and sense her desire for diversion in her statement.

"All young ladies need to come, all young ladies who know how to dance, do say you will come," said the young man and he looked at her eagerly. "We are always in need of beautiful young ladies for partners you know and you are so beautiful. In New Orleans there are far too many young men!" He laughed with an awkward voice.

"But I have nothing to wear and as I said we are to sail the next morning," she looked up at her captain then. Her English blue eyes had swept from the blue of Owens' to the blue of his cousin's. D'Arcy wondered if there were another spot in New Orleans where three pairs of blue eyes resided give there were so many more dark pairs of eyes in that town.

"We are leaving at dawn on Friday; we have lost so much time off of our schedule already," replied Fitzwilliam-Blake. Her entire countenance changed and she turned her head away from the two men with a down-turned mouth and yet a resigned air. Henry Fitzwilliam-Blake considered her struggles, being companion to Anna, following her cousin across the sea only to lose her and her livelihood and having to return to England. "Perhaps you can come for a few sets?" He ventured.

"Oh! That would be lovely. I can take you," smiled Nick Owens, stepping closer.

"She is under my protection; she shall go with me. I need to ensure she is looked after and gets back to the ship on time. Only a few sets, mind," Fitzwilliam-Blake sounded like a stern father and D'Arcy looked at him and wondered at him even agreeing in the first place.

Nick Owens grinned even wider, "anything, any little time with Miss Bacon would be lovely."

D'Arcy wondered about Nick Owens. He was a colleague of Etienne de Granada which meant he was to be suspected. He was Irish though he was so young so he was probably a son to one of the men who had come with General O'Reilly when he had taken possession of the territory for Spain in 1769. He probably inveigled himself with Etienne de Granada as a way of winning favor with the current acting governor, actions which D'Arcy could not approve of. It was only after considering his dislike of this young man and wondering about his intentions towards Miss Bacon that he looked up in time to see Mademoiselle Adao slap Louis.


Lisette saw Mary and the two captains but they lingered as had become their want and did not approach in a hurry. They waited for 'Louis' to finish 'his' chores. As she was completing them she thought about her conversation with Rodolfo, about returning to England, and felt guilty about leaving him because she knew it was the voice of the ghost that was garnering money for him and the Leoni family and hoped she would not be depriving him of a now anticipated source of income.

She hoped that Rodolfo, Paolo and Francesca would still be able to find some sort of life in New Orleans. The Leoni family had come from a tiny island in Italy where it had become so crowded—he was the youngest of many brothers—that there was no land; there was family but nothing to go back to, not like Lisette. They had come with open eyes to the New World to seek their fortune and, perhaps, with the extra money that they had made these last few weeks they would be able to purchase some land or begin to engage in some trade that did not have them out in all weathers.

It was as she was considering parting from these friends she had made that she was brought to by looking into the face of that young lady she had met the previous evening, the one who had graced Etienne's arm. The one with the cold, dark eyes. She was taller than Lisette looking down at her scornfully and she did not try to hide a deep bitterness, that lady, Senhorita Adao, as she looked at Louis.

Sol Adao was dressed in cream with a full, wide skirt despite the filthy streets of New Orleans; the dress was exquisite, expensive and trimmed with lace and black ribbon. Her entire portrait was one of black and white with her dark ivory skin and her black hair, and her cream dress with its black trim. She wore no other colors and was flanked by two tall African footmen.

"Even in britches, men follow, even in britches! You are disguised as a boy and yet men follow you and grovel over you," and then the lady slapped Lisette across the cheek.

It was not as painful as the time her father had struck her, but she harkened back to that day at Longbourn in her bedroom so long ago, that time with her father. Lisette felt as though people suddenly all moved with slow and deliberate movements. As though there was that oppressive air pressing down on her right before the hurricane had struck. Movement and thought were sluggish as though the elements, nature herself, were against Lisette then.

So much had changed at the moment her father had struck her, she had been stoic and it had been a game, but that moment had spurned her to leave her home, the one she had grown up in, rather than submit to anything else. This was the home she was considering returning to; the shores of England, but now small doubts crept up, small fears. If rumors of Lisette Bennet had come to New Orleans what would life be like in England? Would it be safe to return to Hertfordshire with Mary or would she hounded and haunted by Mr. Bennet forever on land? Should she remain with Rodolfo in New Orleans so as to be as far away from England as possible? Lisette remembered feeling so small and vulnerable when she had collapsed onto the deck of The Elinor. She felt that way again.

She had been largely responsible for herself and her survival in New Orleans but that sharp slap across the cheek brought back a rush of emotions about this entire trip—her whole adventure. It was difficult to continue on, perpetually alone, and though she was thankful for the friends she had made she could not help a sense of despair and loss of connectivity as she stood in shock and looked at the lady before her.

"What have I done to offend you?" Cried Lisette.

"Stay away from Etienne," said Senhorita Adao.

"I have done nothing! I think you need to tell him to stay away from me," said Lisette still feeling sluggish and confused.

"He is to marry me!" Cried Sol Adao.

"Then you need not fear that he will marry me," said Lisette.

"Why should he want to marry someone like you," and Sol grabbed at her hat and pulled it off and Lisette's braid fell down her back. Lisette went to snatch for her hat but Sol handed it to one of her footman and Lisette gave over attempting to catch it.

"I have no wish to marry Señor de Granada," Lisette cried.

Two or three people had turned at the sound of raised voices and then more and more people turned to view 'the ghost,' and their voices, and then more and more voices murmured, at the ghost's unmasking and Rodolfo came up behind her, and Paolo as well, and she noticed that D'Arcy was near, Fitzwilliam-Blake and Mary Bacon too.

"Why?" Lisette cried standing in her breeches with her hat gone, her hair hanging down for all to see.

"You are nothing, you are just an actress! Go home, stay home!" Sneered the Senhorita.

D'Arcy approached, "Mademoiselle Adao," he glanced at Lisette and then back to Senhorita Adao. "Might I see you home?" And he offered her his arm. Sol Adao looked at him with those cold eyes; she recalled him with the imposter, Etienne's love interest, and she looked at Lisette with a slow smile creeping up on her face. Lisette could not understand what was occurring before her. If anyone needed the offer of an arm it should have been her. Did Captain D'Arcy assume she was still 'in character' playing the role of Louis, and could not be supported here but why would he be paying any attention to Senhorita Adao? She watched with confusion as he approached the lady and she took his arm.

All the horror of her being under lock and key back at Longbourn and again on the corsair ship came to her in a rush as she saw D'Arcy not at her side, comforting her, but she could only see him as Senhorita Adao's lover—he was not her lover—he had eyes apparently for her aggressor this woman who had slapped her. Lisette could not but help the tears that pooled and fell, trailed down her cheeks. There was something on her face that Fitzwilliam-Blake recognized and he turned to the puppeteer and told Rodolfo to take her home.

Sol Adao's eyes shone with triumph and a sense of a game won; she had snagged this man from the impostor's side when D'Arcy had come to her. This captain must like assertive women.

Rodolfo, like the good papa he was, put an arm around Lisette. "Come, figlia, come home."

"You must come back to the ship dearest," cried Mary with a hand on her arm.

"Let your friend help you," said Nick Owens but he was looking pointedly at Mary Bacon.

"I want to go home," whispered Lisette to Rodolfo leaning into him a little.

"Francesca will care for you," said Rodolfo and he began to direct her home.

"Lottie, come back to The Elinor," begged Mary again but Lisette shook her head as she took her first steps home.

"Come figlia, I will take you home and then come back for the cart," said Rodolfo. Nick Owens, looking again at Miss Bacon, offered to help Paolo push the cart home and they followed at a distance. Lisette was hard pressed not to lose herself in her grief but the shock of the entire scene of D'Arcy at Sol Adao's side kept her tears at bay.

Papa Rodolfo led her through the crowds and fended off the gentlemen who were all staring at the unmasked ghost, not a mermaid or a lady in the cart but the second apprentice, a girl dressed in boy's clothes and Rodolfo shielded her with a fierceness, a shepherd protecting his flocks or in this case a lone sheep.

It was almost like a procession—it could have been a parade, a carnival—through the streets, a few drunk men followed the cart still calling for the ghost or the mermaid but there were naughty little boys who tittered around Rodolfo and Lisette calling her rude names. They discovered that Rodolfo Leoni, for all that he had a soft and friendly face, could be stern and yelled for them to beat a retreat to their homes and their mamas lest he box their ears or wallop their behinds. Rodolfo took her home and she was pressed into the care of Francesca who staunched her tears and helped her to bathe her body even if she could not soothe her tormented mind.


Lisette lost herself in packing to stave off thinking or feeling. She set aside her boy's clothes which she would never need again and donned her flowered pink dress which helped to improve her spirits. The governor's ball was the following evening and she had to decide whether she would truly attend with Etienne. She had made an enemy of his friend, Senhorita Sol Adao, which she did not understand.

She had yet to ask Captain itzwilliam-Blake for space on The Elinor to return to England though Lisette considered with a little arrogance that he would accept her passage if she chose to sail with him on Friday morning. She felt lost at sea. She did not want to stay but had doubts now about leaving. New Orleans was not a place she ever wished to live, however, and she eventually decided she would sail even if she would not necessarily go back to England.

Over their family meal, Lisette asked for more information about Sol Adao. Her friends were reluctant to discuss the young woman. Francesca mentioned that she was actually of Portuguese descent, and also had some French as well. Her family had been living in New Orleans for quite a long time and were considered good creole.

"Is she rich?" Asked Lisette.

"Not particularly rich, no," answered Rodolfo keeping an eye on his plate.

"Is she likely to marry Señor de Granada as she said?" Asked Lisette.

"No, not likely," he answered again and looked at his son and then back to his plate.

"Why? Papa Rodolfo, why did she do such a thing to me today?" Cried Lisette.

Rodolfo was silent, but Paolo looked at her then; he looked far younger than he was. Initially she had taken him to be fifteen or sixteen but he was, in fact twenty with the same family looks, dark and short of stature. "Senhorita Adao is his woman," he offered.

"They were engaged?" But no, apparently they had never been engaged, nor had she ever been married and that was all the family wished to say about Senhorita Adao and Etienne de Granada's relationship. The Leoni family was not one for gossip.


She had thought things were moving along between Captain D'Arcy and her, slowly—as though he was proving more English than French. But Lisette had been so hard pressed to not give way to deep emotions and had battled tears as she had watched Captain D'Arcy walk off with Senhorita Adao. She could not help but think how improbable such a pairing was—she could not understand why he was speaking to the lady. But their own acquaintance had been full of wild contradictions and varieties of feelings and she wondered at its own continuance. Did she really have any claim on Captain D'Arcy at all? She had, after all, rejected him. It was still painful.

Perhaps she had sunk too low—she thought of wearing men's breeches, her hair up under her cap; perhaps that was too much in his eyes. Perhaps his feelings could not survive the blow of her public unmasking. She was humbled and grieved then as to what her adventuring had brought her, though she could not fault her heart for where it had led.

She could not but respect him, treasure this leader of men who had the confidence of his crew and yet had that sweet, hesitant manner that she had fallen in love with on those days aboard Le Cerf Blanc. Lisette needed a gentleman who did not reach out and grab at her like a tasty morsel of food, a prize to be won, but one who was polite, shy and courteous like he had ever been to her those days. The more she considered Captain Gauthier D'Arcy the more Lisette became aware of a longing in her heart she had never known, a burning that ran down to her gut whenever she thought of him. She realized that was what she had set out to find—love, and love alone, but she had spoiled it, spoiled her chances somehow.

She felt flattened, destroyed and resigned. Like she needed to surrender more so than she ever did on the corsair ship, yield to a life she had not truly imagined or shaped or charged for herself. Was love to be the ruin of her? To have found it and to be destroyed by it? She was almost too distracted to cry. There was creeping numbness that came over her. She thought of her family, her mother and sisters, even her father, and felt more lonely than she had ever been. Lisette was so far away from them, half-way around the world from anyone who truly loved her and it felt like the entire adventure had ended in hopelessness. She should just go home. Perhaps the security and yet repugnance of being Mrs. Collins would make up for the torture her heart felt alternating between despair and ecstasy, grief and elation at thoughts of Captain D'Arcy.

She repented, though she hardly knew of what.


They were not going to set up the marionette stand that day; the whole town was in preparations for the governor's ball. Though only a small set of people were invited to the de Granada Plantation for the festivities, everyone in town was quite happy to celebrate the occasion with taverns offering special fare. Most men began their drinking extra early. Every establishment was open and small impromptu ones lined the streets as well.

Lisette could hear the voices of celebrants as she finished her packing. She had purchased a small trunk, second hand—she had learned how to be frugal—and it lay awaiting orders. Though there would be room on the ship, she decided to leave the bathtub with Francesca.

Francesca helped her into the blue silk dress and the blue necklace was clasped round her neck. Her dark hair was styled simply.

"I wish you well, figlia," said Rodolfo when she was finished and they had all gathered in the kitchen to see Lisette off for good.

"I thank you," she replied. "In my month in New Orleans you have formed the best part of it. I certainly do not know how I should have fared without you, dear Papa Rodolfo."

"You have been a blessing to us, figlia, we have made over half a year's pay in less than a month which has done us well!" Replied the Italian puppeteer. "Now you are certain you do not want to go straight to your boat?"

"No, I wish to attend the ball."

She had, until the afternoon before and her unmasking, waffled about attending the governor's ball with Etienne, but was more inclined to go now that she had discovered that Captain D'Arcy was no longer her admirer. She wished to enjoy herself before her long sea voyage home.

"Do be careful about Señor de Granada, daughter," Rodolfo warned one last time.