Something New 28
By Female Heero Yuy
Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD
You guys have Fetusforbrunch to thank for this one...you really do...I probably should not of corrupted her mind. xD LOL...Bad me!
I'll also be really honest...this is probably a chapter some people should not be reading. So i'ma just state this. It's not overly mature. It's actually at a teenage level of reading material. Frankly it's something you should be learning in school by now. But i'm atleast going to give this warning even though people will bite my head off later anyway. But I also know I can't stop anyone under the age of 17 from reading this either. So if you do, it's not my fault that you decided to read this chapter. Because i'm not forcing anyone to read this. Thank you.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Frances was in the dining room enjoying a cup of tea along with her breakfast. Skimming the newspaper she read up on the latest fashions, trends, and gossip. Taking a sip she saw there was a rather lovely dress she wanted to buy. So she made a mental note to herself to get one. Edward walked into the room and took a seat infront of an empty plate, which was promptly filled with the days breakfast. "Morning mother." he stated as his plate had an egg with some toast and a light salad placed on it.
"Good morning Edward." she stated without looking up from her paper. "Sleep well?"
"Indeed. It was a rather pleasant night." he stated as he started to put some jam on his toast.
Frances lowered her paper slowly and gave him a strange look. "And what...do you mean by that?" she asked, her eyes seemed to slant even more as she asked her question.
Edward was taken a back by this reaction. "Nothing mother. I simply meant that I was able to sleep rather well last night. It wasn't too hot, nor too cold."
"That better be all that was going on last night." she muttered before going back to reading her paper.
"I haven't the faintest idea as to what your implying mother." he looked confused. He wasn't even sure what she really meant by her statement.
"You know exactly what I mean. Your at that age after all." she stated.
"At that...mother!" he looked mortified. "I can most assure you that I am not bedding with anyone!"
"That I am most certainly aware of. You are a proper noble after all."
"Then...what do you?" he asked confused.
Frances folded her newspaper and set it on the table. Clasping her hands on the table in front of her, "I think this is a discussion that is best saved for later." she stated as Elizabeth had walked into the room. "I expect you both to be ready with in the hour. We're going to visit Ciel and grandmother today." she added as she got out of her seat.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
"Grandma!" Elizabeth shouted in excitement as she hugged the elderly woman. "I missed you! Have you been well?" she asked.
"Oh yes dearie. I have been very well. Blackie takes wonderful care of me." she smiled.
"Blackie?" Frances raised a brow.
"Yes my dear sweet blackie." Granny stated as she pinched Sebastian's facial cheek. He groaned with embarrassment as she did so. This made Frances snicker. "Oh! Edward!" she opened her arms and gave him a hug. "Oh my how you've grown! The last time I saw you were no taller than a large puppy."
"Grandma." Edward looked embarrassed. He did not like her reference at all.
"And your just like blackie. With such pinchable cheeks." she grabbed at both his facial cheeks and pinched them. This made Sebastian giggle as now he wasn't the only one who suffered granny's pinches. "I think I shall call you whitie. Because your the opposite of blackie." she smiled. That made Sebastian burst in full blow laughter while Frances and the others giggled. Edward just flushed with embarrassment and wished he was somewhere else.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Everyone was enjoying being outside in the nice weather. Ciel with Elizabeth and the other servants were collecting flowers to make flower crowns and necklaces, as was Elizabeths request. Though he originally didn't want to do so, he relented and was now collecting flowers. Sebastian was on the porch with Frances and Edward pouring them tea, while granny had excused herself to use the ladies room.
"Well mother since we are alone for the most part, would you please explain your statement earlier?" he asked.
Frances as sipping the rosemary tea Sebastian had just given her. "Indeed." she agreed.
"Although, I shall have to request that you leave." Edward stated to Sebastian. "This is afterall a rather private conversation."
"Ah I see. Very well." he finished in his task and was preparing to leave, but was stopped.
"No I believe it is better for him to stay." she stated. "After all your both around the same age, and though he maybe a butler I worry he too is doing certain things when given the chance." she looked at him.
Sebastian looked confused at this statement. "Pardon me Marchioness but what do you mean to imply by that?"
"I know very well you both know what I mean."
"No we don't mother that is why we are asking." Edward defended.
Frances sighed, "Very well. I understand that this is a rather personal topic, but I shall be blunt." she placed her teacup on it's saucer. "I hope that you both are not partaking in any...sinful acts of...self love."
"Huhhhh?" Both stated at the same time with great looks of confusion.
"You heard me." she stated.
"Marchioness if I may...are you stating that your against masterbation?" Sebastian asked bluntly. Edward simply looked mortified and blushed heavily.
"Yes. It is a digusting act, and goes against the purity of marriage. Doing such goes against God, and shows that the person is greatly unhappy."
"I simply cannot agree Marchioness. God is not against against masterbation. God's the one who taught me how to masterbate in the first place. And trust me, there are worse sins than masterbation." he stated proudly with the largest grin on his face. Edward, as much as he hadn't meant to, couldn't help but laugh at the demons statement.
Frances simply looked disgusted and more than likely wanted to slap him. "How dare you say such a thing about God! God is for a loving relationship, and masterbation is not apart of that!"
"I disagree, God is fairly open minded and finds masterbation to be a healthy form of release. As a matter of face the bible clearly states, love thy self. As far as i'm concerned that line was left to be interpreted as we see fit. And thus giving the notion that God is pro masterbation." he smiled.
"YOUR A HORRIBLE DISGUSTING CHILD!" Frances stood up from her seat. "How dare you make false claims using the bible as backup for your arguement!"
"I dare much. Considering certain things." he stated. "And besides your quite the hypocrite Marchioness, i'm sure even you in your youth gave yourself some self love." He added.
France sat down promptly and took a sip of her tea. "What I did in my youth will not be brought to the table."
"So you do masterbate." his grin grew. "I knew it!" he pointed at her. "Your such a hypocrite. Lecturing me and your own son when you yourself are conducting what you are calling sinful acts!"
"Mother is this really what you thought I was doing at night?" Edward looked at his mother.
"Your at that age. I wouldn't be surprised." she looked off to the side.
"The Marchioness has surprised me. I never knew she could speak so easily about such vulgar things. I am quite pleasantly pleased." Sebastian stated as he cut some of the dessert he had made to serve it.
"Silence you!" she scoffed at him. "Your one of the reasons I have to worry so much!"
"What do I have to do with this Marchioness? I am just a simple butler after all." he looked perplexed.
"If only that were the case." she muttered.
"Well mother as...embarrassing as it is. I can assure you I have not partaken in such an act." he blushed. "Though the butler has made it obvious he has." he side glanced Sebastian.
"I'll have you both know I have not partaken in anything in a very long while now. But even if I have, it is none of your business. I personally love to masterbate, it makes me happy in multiple ways."
"Ahhh, I do pity you." Edward stated, "But I guess since you are a butler and cannot marry you need some form of outlet. You may never be able to be married after all."
"Nonsense. It would be such a waste not to have him marry." Frances stated. "If anything we probably should be breeding him now to make for some highly capable servants."
"Please do not speak of me as if I were some sort of animal that is only used for breeding. That is highly offensive." he defended himself.
"Us speaking about you getting married is offensive, yet you openly stating how much you love to touch yourself isn't?" Edward looked at him.
"The marriage part isn't what is offensive, so much as it is that you two are apparently plotting to have me wed to simply have me breed future servants. That is highly offending. Should I ever wed, I can most guarantee you both that it would not be to stop giving myself some self love. It would so that not only would she join in, but so that we could take it to new heights."
"...Your just picking on me now aren't you?" Frances pressed her lips.
"Perhaps." he smiled. "But going back on topic, there is nothing wrong with masterbation. Everything masterbates, as we are being watched by God, it is most certainly an enjoyment that God indulges in. God loves to watch us, God watches us do EVERYTHING. And I do mean everything."
"I think masterbation defiles the sancitity of marriage." Edward stated. "It means you do not love your lover."
"That is not true. My parents, and even yours in fact, did such an act and still loved one another quite frequently. In fact most days when I went home I can most assure you that there was a fair amount of self love going on in my house between my parents just before or even during intercourse."
"...How in the world are you even related to them?" Frances asked bluntly. "To think you became a butler with such upbringing...it's rather shocking. It is as if you are the complete opposite of my brother."
"Ah ha, I do not know your brother Marchioness, but I can most assure you that my goals were far different from my parents."
"You poor thing. To think that you honestly believe that you can be happy just because of masterbation...it's rather sad. I feel bad for you." Frances spoke in a softened tone. "The fact that you use God in this just makes me pity you all the more. God is about purity, and the sancitity of marriage. And love between a man and a woman should be sacred. Had I known your childhood had been so displeasant i'd of saved you from such a life to show you how one does not need to resort to such acts." she stated as Edward nodded. "I know i've done things i'm not proud of in my youth, but i've learned from them and it makes me so sad to know that you never had such an opportunity to learn this. Or to even have guidance to show you how to be a proper gentleman."
Sebastian just hung his head, his eyes covered by a shadow.
"Mother I shall promise you now that I will only honor a sacred marriage." Edward stated. "If I must i'll do what I can to show this butler the purity of it. We really must teach him the proper ways of a gentleman though he is a mere butler."
Frances appeared as though she were going to say something more, but Sebastian interrupted her. "You know..." his voice quivered. "That hurts. It hurts to know that you both think I do what I do because i'm unhappy." he looked at him with a serious expression. "I'm not unhappy. I like what I do. I like to masterbate. It's what makes me happy. And you.." he pointed at Frances. "You of all people, who have done what I have done. How dare you say that I am sinning against God just because of it."
Frances was surprised at his statement. "You really feel strongly about this don't you?" she was surprised.
"I do." he emphasized. "And I think it's wrong for you to judge and want to take that away from people. How dare you sit there. And tell me, that what i'm doing is a heavy crime." he looked as though he wanted to cry. "How dare you." he whimpered.
Frances gave a saddened expression and stood up. She gave him a hug and patted him on the back. "I don't know what to say. To think you felt so strongly about this." she stated. Sebastian's shoulders shook heavily and then it dawned on her. He was laughing. She shoved him away immediately "YOUR A HORRIBLE HORRIBLE CHILD! To think I felt sorry for you!" she smirked. Sebastian had played her like she was a musical instrument.
"I didn't say I wasn't being serious. But I wouldn't cry over it either." he looked smug.
"That's it, I order you to never touch yourself again!" she pointed at him.
"I do what I want! It's my room!" he responded. This made Edward laugh. Sebastian was apparently enough rebellious teen for both of them.
"My, my, what's going on here?" Granny stated as she came back and took a seat. "Your being so emotional today."
"Nothing granny. The conversation is finished." Frances retook her seat.
"Is not! Granny, the Marchioness is trying to prevent me from touching myself at night!" he stated in a childish voice quite bluntly. "Which is hypocritical because she's done...does it too!"
"How dare you speak of this in front of granny?" Frances looked horrified.
"Now, now, I was young too once." Granny smiled, making Frances calm down. "Besides there's nothing wrong with a bit of self loving."
"Aaahhhwwww..." Edward looked disgusted. "I did not need to hear that." he added while laughing.
"Granny...i'm not cleaning your sheets anymore." Sebastian laughed. He too found the statement rather gross.
Granny just kept the smile on her face, "Don't worry about it sweetie, I actually intend to have some company tonight. So I hope you won't wait up."
"Awwwhhh, Granny, I didn't need to know that." it was now Sebastian's turn to look disgusted.
"I am a healthy woman with certain needs. Just because I am old doesn't mean I don't have certain itches that don't require assistence to be scratched."
"Granny!" Frances looked as though she wanted to die. "Please! Not in front of the children!"
"Oh hush, they are perfectly healthy boys with healthy curiosities."
"Not anymore." Sebastian laughed. "I think i'm tramatized for life." he joked.
"Oh blackie, you are indeed quite the silly one. Just like Vincent. I swear you both could be twins."
"I shall take your word for it granny, as I do not know him." he giggled. Thinking that the lesson he learned was, be it human or demon. Both at younger ages did not like to hear that the older generations did such acts. As both creatures found it rather disgusting and unnerving. Though apart of him did find it a tad sweet. Feeling silly however he decided it was time to take a shot at the Marchioness. "I think tonight I shall partake in playing with myself. And I shall do this with thoughts of the Marchioness on my mind."
"You will not!" Frances shouted at him.
"I will, and there's nothing you can do about it." he snickered. Though a moment later he was running away as she was chasing him in an attempt to clobber him.
"Sebastian! Get back here!" she shouted. But he simply laughed.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
I do not think this is what anyone was expecting...I also do not think this is what Fetusforbrunch was expecting, but i'm overall happy with it. xD It was rather difficult trying to type this up without going all out with full blown details. Because trust me. xD I have a horribly corrupt mind in which i've apparently corrupted Fetusforbrunch, in which now she's using to corrupt me...WE'VE STARTED A CYCLE! =D *thumbs up* I also will apologize for taking so long to update my other fics. I've been working on other projects (you'd have to see my DA to know what i'm walking about), and preparing for school (Classes start the 23rd for me blech), and i'm also preparing for AX for next year in advance because I have to make about 2 or 3 cosplays. I shall basically have to fix my Undertaker cosplay because it's now too big on me = (But yay for losing weight), but I'll also be making a Yusei (Yu Gi Oh 5D's) cosplay cosplay, and basically one of the things i'm making is his helmet. Which will be the thing that takes the longest for me to make. Thus why i'm starting on it now. This way if I have to stop for a bit i'll still have time to finish it. Though i've gotten a decent amount of it done. =)
Though since I can't work on said helmet at work, i'ma try to work on other chapters for fics while at work as I maybe working a 12 hour shift anyway. But i'll do what I can to update. And seriously I do apologize for taking so long on other fics that haven't been updated in a while. . My mind just can't seem to stick with one fic lately. Which is my fault because I have a hard time turning my mind off when I get such ideas in my head. Anyway I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, or atleast found it...interesting. xD LOL. Basically this idea came from a video Fetusforbrunch showed me about a woman who is apparently trying to promote an anti masterbastion campaign. The woman's navitivity frankly made me lawl. Sorry but doctors have already proven (And I apologize if this grosses anyone out) that masterbation is not only pleasurable but in fact healthy and prevents certain things. It's okay if your against it, but frankly don't go around judging others and say they are sinning because they do do it. Because as I put in the fic. It's not written in any form of religious books, scripts, etc..that masterbation is bad. So don't go around using religion as an excuse. It's only a matter of opinion, religion has NOTHING to do with it. And trust me, I do have some religious aspects in my life. But I don't go around using it as some lame excuse either, nor do I force my views on anyone. Well I guess that's all I have to say for now. I'm sorry if I offended anyone, I do not mean to.
Reviews and comments appreciated.
