Guest: Rachel in the movies? Hmm, something to think about. In due time, Quinn will ask. Or maybe Rachel will.
Harley Quinn Davidson Thank you.
gllover22 Thank you. Well I love both of them everywhere as well. But I'm glad that you also like them here. :)
Fabraygron Thank you. I'm glad you enjoy them. I'm having fun playing with them almost as much as I'm having fun playing with Quinn/Rachel and Quinn/Rach/Santana/Brittany.
Guest: Thank you.
Guest: No, she doesn't really have the right. And a more evolved person would suck it up and take it in stride. But Quinn is not a perfect person. She has her issues and her insecurities and I think she reacted the way most of us would to having our flaws put on display for others to see. As for the smut, like I've said before, this is an M rated story about two adults in a relationship. There's going to be smut. It's a vital part of a relationship. If you don't like that, I suggest you read elsewhere. To the character development, I have to disagree however if you have some specific instances where I've missed an opportunity for character growth then I would love to hear them. The only way I'll grow as a writer is through feedback.
LSpatz Thank you. :)
wkgreen Glad you enjoyed it. Hope you continue to.
CarolineSC Thank you. I hope you continue to enjoy it as it develops.
crystalcboo Thank you. Me too. I think the show lost an opportunity for some very powerful storytelling in not pairing them together.
Chapter 28
Of all the stages for putting a play together the only one that Quinn disliked was the auditions. The whole process made her slightly uncomfortable. There was just something about it, sitting there staring at folders full of head-shots and resumes, actors hopes and dreams reduced to a glossy 7 by 11 photo and typed page of past experiences that generally had no bearing on this particular moment. It didn't matter a whit whether they'd been understudy or lead in their high school/college/community theatre production last month, it mattered if they could embody the character on the script in their hand. And yet she was expected for form some kind of opinion from those sheafs of paper.
She hated the empty echo of the room as the actor walked out to face them. The nervous tremor in their voices as they introduces themselves because no matter how big or small the production it was still a production. Getting the part was a validation of their skills and efforts. Not getting it fed all their fears and insecurities.
And it all came down to her and her production team. They were what stood between an actor getting a phone call that would make their day or one that would deliver rejection. She hated it, but it was a neccessary part of the process. They had to cast the best possible actors to create the best possible play.
She was just grateful that her voice was just one of many, that the deciding vote didn't come down to her because contrary to what many people probably thought of her, she wasn't actually a control freak nor did she enjoy wielding that sort of power.
Despite her dislike of the whole process she still made a point of taking it seriously. Before each casting session she studied each photo carefully trying to visualize each actor in the role and read each resume trying to determine if a previous role or particular skill would give them an advantage when it came to playing that character. And then when it came time for the auditions she'd watch each one discerningly, making notes and jotting down her first impressions.
Or at least, that was the way she usually worked. She'd been so distracted by Rachel this weekend that she hadn't done all of her prep-work and was seeing at least half of the auditions without any background knowledge of the actors. Though she wouldn't admit it out loud, Quinn was embarrased by her lack of preparedness and vowed that from here on out, she wouldn't let her developing relationship with Rachel interfer with her work again.
If she had done her homework, she might have been prepared for the next actress who stepped out on stage to audition but as it was, she turned her head, startled at the slightly shaky introduction and her jaw nearly dropped open in shock.
"Shit," she hissed, abandoning the note she'd been jotting down and flipping the page over to reveal the head shot and resume next on the pile. Sure enough, there was that familiar face.
"What?" Lara leaned in and kept her voice low, so they wouldn't disturb the woman on stage who was just launching into her audition.
"She's not right for the part."
"Relax, Quinn. We've only seen like 6 people so far. I'm sure one of them will be our Caroline."
Quinn shook her head. "No, it's not that." The plastic case of the pen in her hand cracked under the pressure of her agitation and Lara gently removed it from her grasp.
"Then what is it, Quinn?"
"I know her."
Lara's head whipped around and for a moment Quinn felt guilty that now neither of them were even watching the audition but pushed it aside to deal with the more pressing issue.
"Please tell me you didn't sleep with her."
Quinn couldn't help it, she huffed out a laugh at the suggestion and brought her hand up to her face quickly to muffle the sound. The two of them were still for a moment, to see if the reaction had reached the stage and both let out a sigh of relief when it became evident that it hadn't.
"No. Nothing like that. We went to high school together."
Lara's eyes widened and her gaze drifted back to the stage where Tina Cohen Chang was finishing up an empassioned, impeccably performed monologue that, if it were any other time, any other part, probably would have brought Quinn to tears. She'd never really seen Tina act before but she was good.
"What exactly do they put in the water in Ohio?" she whispered but Quinn wasn't paying attention to her anymore as she slipped from her chair and moving parrallel to Tina as she walked off-stage, headed towards the exit. The doors swung open and shut again with a clatter that startled the dozen or so men and women lining the hallway awaiting their turn to audition. Quinn murmured her apologies as she hurried her steps to catch up with Tina, who was gathering her things at the other end of the hallway.
The other woman had her coat on and was just pulling her long dark hair from beneath the collar when Quinn reached her.
"You're not right for the part." The words fell from her lips before she could censor them and she winced. She hadn't meant to say that.
In front of her Tina stiffened. Quinn bit back a curse as the other woman swung around. Her stony expresssion instantly giving way to wide eyes and raised brows. Her jaw dropped open in shock and then snapped shut quickly.
"Quinn?"
"You were amazing," Quinn hastened to add. "I mean, Oh, my God, Tina I had no idea that you could act like that. But you're not right for the part." She bit her lip, internally berating herself for adding that last part in there. Again. Why couldn't she have just complimented Tina and left well enough alone?
"Oh? And you are?" Tina said with a sigh and a roll of her eyes, as if she couldn't decide whether or not she was feeling resigned or defiant about this turn of conversation.
"What? No. That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm not even auditioning."
"So, what you came here just to dole out critisism to unsuspecting actors?"
"No. No that's not it at all." Quinn shook her head and opened her mouth to explain then shut it. "I'm sorry. Let's start over," she said instead. "Hi, Tina. You were amazing up there. I really enjoyed watching your audition."
Tina eyed her warily for a moment before her expression softened and a grin tugged at the corners of her lips. "Hello, Quinn. Thank you. That's very nice of you." She tugged at the buttons of her coat and dipped her hands into her pockets before pulling them back out again. "It's good to see you again."
"It's good to see you again too." It seemed like Quinn had been saying that a lot lately but the repetativeness of the comment didn't make it any less true. It was good to run into Tina again. Maybe the two of them hadn't been the best of friends. Despite being in Glee together for three years, they'd never been particularly close. She could probably count on one hand the number of one on one conversations the two of them had ever had but as part of the same group they'd been through a lot together.
They'd competed together, won and lost together. Tina had been there for her when she got pregnant, when she'd lost her way, after her accident, singing songs and being silently supportive. She'd been part of the dysfunctinal little family that was Glee Club and Quinn would also hold a fondness, a love for her. She could only assume that Tina felt the same way.
Even if their reunion was going a little bit awkwardly.
"So, what are you doing here, if you're not auditioning?" Tina asked. "Waiting for your boyfriend?"
Quinn sucked back a laugh, covered it with a semi-choking cough. She really had been out of touch with her former classmates for a long time.
"Sorry," she wheezed when Tina glanced askance at her. "No. I'm not waiting for anybody. I..." she trailed off and rubbed the back of her neck, feeling awkward like she always did when talking about her writing. This time it had nothing to do with being reluctant to be vulnerable, to open herself up to critisism over her work, or worse yet, indifference. This time it was more about wondering if Tina would expect a role in the play once she learned that Quinn had written it. She'd had it happen to her a number of times over the years, friends, classmates, accquiantances would find out that she'd written a play that was casting and expect that she'd get them a part. No small number of potential friendships not to mention a couple of romantic relationships had been had been strained and even ruined when Quinn would not simply grant parts to people because they thought they deserved them.
"I wrote the play," she said, trying to sound certain about her involvement. "Well, co-wrote."
Tina's eyes widened almost comically. "You wrote the play?" Almost before the words were out of her mouth, Tina was slapping a hand over her mouth and mumbling an apology between her fingers.
"It's okay," Quinn said, laughing lightly. "I feel like I should be offended though I'm not sure entirely why. I can't tell if you're surprise is over my literary abilities or-"
"I didn't mean anything by it I was just surprised-"
"I know, Tina. It's fine." She couldn't really blame those who hadn't been there for her transformation to still her the way they had in high-school. The blond bitch of a cheerleader who'd mellowed some but still wasn't exactly warm and fuzzy and certainly didn't publicly indulge in her more academic pursuits. "You're not the first person to be a little shocked by my chosen perfession." She grinned a little, remembering Rachel's reaction Friday night. "I thought Rachel's eyes were going to fall out of her head."
"Rachel. As in, our Rachel? Rachel Berry?"
"The one and only."
"I didn't realize you guys were in touch," she said, something unreadable flashing across her face. Quinn didn't know Tina well enough to know all of her expressions but it looked a bit like hurt.
"We ran into each other a few days ago," she hastened to add, just in case Tina thought that Rachel was hiding something from her. She remembered the other woman saying that the two of them had remained pretty good friends.
"Sounds a little bit like a story right there," Tina said, grinning a little.
Quinn huffed a laugh. "You have no idea."
Ever the gossip queen, Tina's eyes narrowed slightly and gave Quinn a brief once-over. "What aren't you telling me, Quinn?"
Quinn bit her tongue and offered her most angelic smile, which only made Tina's eyes narrow further.
"I'm not sure you'd believe me even if I told you," she teased.
"Hey, not fair. You owe me."
"How do you figure?"
"Well I just put in a killer audition in there and I figured I'd be riding the high of that for two, three days before I got a phone call and you went and killed it in two minutes."
Tina kind of did have her there.
Quinn hesitated for a moment, debating. Since leaving Lima she'd essentially cut all ties with everyone she'd known from there. She'd gotten a new cell phone, cancelled her facebook and changed her email. Except for her mother she hadn't talked to anybody from home since freshman year of college. She hadn't even been back for a visit since graduation and even when she had gone back to Ohio on holidays it had been to her sister's place in Worth's Fallls, nearly two hours away.
Nobody knew anything about the new Quinn. Aside from her mother, who she knew wasn't exactly updating everyone in town about her daughter's going-on, nobody that she knew before knew that she was gay. Technically, her mother didn't even know. She knew that her mother knew but she'd never expressly told her. She'd never actually come out to her mom because she knew that if she came out, her mom would actually have to do something about it. She'd have to react, form an opinion. Whereas this way, her mom could ignore the signs and they could have at least a superficial mother-daughter relationship. It wasn't perfect. But even sporadic phone calls, the occasional email and a birthday card full of cash each year was better than the nothing she knew she'd be afforded if she actually said the words.
If she told Tina, everyone back home in Lima would know within a few hours. Not that she'd ever be back there to see their reactions but she knew what they'd be and the thought of everyone she had once known judging and potentially hating her was a lot to take in. The thought of the disdain on the faces of one time friends hurt. She knew that it shouldn't. They didn't matter anymore. She was out and proud in Boston and shouldn't care if people in her old hometown knew.
Not to mention that now that she was dating Rachel word was likely to get around anways. At some point she knew the other woman would coax her into going back to visit her family. Or Santana might mention it to her mom. Or Brittany to one of her parents. But, she just thought that she'd have a little more time to adjust to the idea.
She opened her mouth to put Tina off, to tell her that the'd get together later and she'd fill her in, to simply brush the problem aside and then snapped it shut as she realized that in staying silent she was denying her feelings for Rachel. Demeaning and dismissing them. And the thought of doing that brought her an acute, phsyical pain in her chest.
"It's kind of a long story," she said. "Which, I would love to fill you in on sometime. Honest," she added, seeing the look of distrust in Tina's eyes. "Coffee or lunch or something sometime soon. I'd really like to get caught up." She was actually curious as to what Tina was up to nowadays. "But long story short, Rachel and I ran into each other a few day ago. And now we're dating."
She got a perverse pleasure out of the way that Tina's entire body reacted to her words. She bit her lip to keep from laughing as Tina rocked back on her heels, nearly stumbling backwards and stared agape at her. It was actually kind of fun to watch her process Quinn's words.
"You're joking."
Quinn offered a smirk and shook her head.
"Holy crap, you're not joking."
"Listen, I've got to get back into the auditions. But I meant what I said about getting caught up. Rachel has your number right?"
Tina nodded dumbly.
"Great. I'll get it from her and I'll give you a call."
Again, Tina nodded without saying a word.
Quinn bit back a grin. "Nice seeing you Tina. Take care." She reached out and squeezed the other woman's arm lightly before turning and striding away.
