AN:
Countdown: 3
What is it a countdown to? A chapter I was very excited to finally be able to write, that I'm very excited about sharing with you, and something I know you're eagerly anticipating :D
Can I be any more vague?
Probably.
I think I need to work on the dirty talk. Actual dirty talk, that is, not innuendo. I'm just not happy with it even after writing the stupid paragraph fifty-gadzillion times. Meh. Oh well, I hope you guys like this chapter all the same.
It's possible I exaggerate.
Chapter 27: Consequences: Part 1
The kitchen doorway was darkened by a short, yet imposing figure. The growl that emerged from his lips was enough to send the students rostered on as kitchen hands scurrying to the side, and become deeply engrossed in whatever task Gambit had assigned them. Gambit lifted his head just in time for Logan to grab him by his shirt (no collar) and pin him up against the wall. A 'snikt' hailed the emergence of his claws, and Logan aimed them right at Gambit's head.
"Give me one reason," Logan demanded, "why we shouldn't be having Cajun shish-kebob for dinner tonight."
"Because it wouldn't go well with the sushi," Gambit replied evenly.
"Sushi," Logan repeated.
"Oui. California roll, Philadelphia roll and Louisiana roll," Gambit answered, then added thoughtfully: "Actually, Cajun shish-kebob might go okay with the Louisiana roll if you used crawfish or blue crab. There's also salmon over rice for those who like their seafood to be a bit more cooked than that, steamed vegetables and for you a bottle of Molson Dry, chilled to perfection."
Gambit brought his fingers to his mouth, then pull them away again, opening his hand with a "mwah!"
"That's my beer," Logan glared at him.
"Oui, I just told you that," Gambit replied, pretending to misunderstand.
Logan growled, but finally let Gambit go.
"You're lucky I like sushi," Logan said pointedly.
"Actually I'm lucky I was on cooking tonight," Gambit replied cheerfully. "I've known you liked sushi for a long time now."
"What made you think that skipping school would be a good idea?" Logan demanded, still glaring at him.
"Well, it seemed like one this morning," Gambit replied with a shrug as he went back to work. "Hindsight not so much. I... I hadn't reckoned on Storm seeing it as a betrayal of her trust, and for that I am very sorry. Yours too."
"And of course," Logan went on, not at all inclined to let Gambit off the hook just because he had the decency to apologise. "You just had to drag Rogue down with you."
"I like her company," he replied shortly.
"Well, I hope you enjoyed her company a whole lot today, because you'll be lucky if I let you within ten feet of her again."
"I don't think you need worry too much about that, mon ami," Gambit said quietly. "She found out about my secondary mutation today."
Logan frowned slightly. "You hadn't already told her?"
"Logan, I wouldn't have even told you if you hadn't gotten me drunk."
"Heh, that was a good night," Logan snickered. "I'm assuming it didn't go well?"
"I hope you'll let me close enough to try and fix things up," Gambit said. "I didn't explain things very well."
"Were words escaping you, o' elegant one?" Logan taunted him.
"Logan, I have the ability to," Gambit paused, noted the kids in the kitchen and lowered his voice, "manipulate people without even thinking about it—"
"Which is good for you, seeing as how you never think."
"That conversation is never going to go well," Gambit finished, ignoring Logan's jibe. "I assume you haven't spoken to her yet?"
"I was going to see her after I beat the snot out of you," Logan nodded.
"Could you do me a favour..." Gambit said, turning to a page ripped from a notepad on one of the benches. "And give this to her? You can read it if you want."
Logan looked over his shoulder as Gambit wrote a final line on the page and handed it over.
"It's just me explaining about my secondary mutation," Gambit explained as Logan glanced at what was written. "I thought that if I wrote it down, she wouldn't have be afraid I was... you know."
"Huh," Logan said, lowering his hand and looking back at Gambit's unusually anxious face. "So Squeaky, why don't you give me one good reason why I should help you? If Rogue's angry with you, that means no more movie nights and no more dancing lessons together. I have to say, that combination makes me rather happy."
"I'll give you three," Gambit replied. "One, no one likes Rogue in a temper—not even you. Two, if Rogue doesn't keep her mouth shut before she gets all the facts, some people around here might get the wrong idea about me. Three, Stormy wants me to fix things."
Logan grunted and walked off without another word. Gambit grinned to himself. Rogue would cool down, and worst case scenario, Gambit would just leave; but there was no way Logan was going to risk getting on Storm's bad side.
When Rogue heard the knock at her bedroom door, she knew instantly that it was Logan. No one else knocked that firmly. With a sniff she was up off her bed and unlocked the door. She didn't meet Logan's gaze as she held the door open for him to come in.
"I'm sorry I ditched you today," Rogue said.
Logan grunted, ignored the mess on her normally tidy floor (clearly she'd been throwing things in a rage again) and noted the scent of saltwater—as if the tear-stained cheeks and puffy red eyes weren't enough proof that she'd been crying.
"Next time you want a day off, Stripes, give me some notice and we'll see if we can work something out," he said finally.
"Okay," she replied quietly. "L-Logan?"
"Yeah?" Logan asked as he sat down on the edge of her bed.
"Did...did you know about Remy's hypnotic charm?" she asked, finally looking up at him.
"Yep."
"Is that why you were so worried?" Rogue asked, shifting nervously from foot to foot. "Y'know about he and me being... being friends."
Logan narrowed his eyes.
"He didn't persuade you to do anything he shouldn't, did he?" Logan said suspiciously. "He never touched you or conned you in touching him anywhere inappropriate?"
"No, no," Rogue shook her head and sat down next to Logan.
"Good. I've never known him to be that type, but..." he shrugged. "Under the circumstances I don't know how desperate he is to get laid."
"Well, nothing like that has ever happened between us," Rogue assured him. "I just... It's been over a year—almost two—and I thought I was getting to know him pretty well. But now... it was all a lie, wasn't it? Everything we had... None of it was real."
"Hmph," Logan grunted. "I see he was right about you not getting the whole story. Here's a trick to knowing when he's gone and charmed you: if you find yourself asking why you did that after it's done and he's left the room, it's usually reason to go after him and beat him into the ground. Of course, that's not completely foolproof as sometimes you ask yourself that about things that had nothing to do with Squeaky, but it works for me. I suspect just knowing he can do it helps you resist it."
"So...it doesn't always work?" Rogue asked slowly.
"Nope," he replied, fishing Gambit's letter out of his pocket. "He wrote you a letter. Now, even if you don't read this, I think you should frame it or something. The Cajun doesn't usually write letters."
Rogue giggled a little as she accepted the letter.
"Did you at least enjoy yourself today?" Logan asked.
"Yeah. Oh! I should show you my new shirt," Rogue said, getting up and grabbing the bag (where she had previously thrown it against the wall with a very unsatisfactory impact).
"Yes! But not with you," he read aloud as Rogue held the shirt up. "I approve."
Rogue,
I hope that you give me a chance and read this. I didn't tell you everything in Storm's office and I'm hoping that writing this down will persuade you that I'm telling the truth. After all, if I'm not in the room, you can't accuse me of using my power on you to make you believe.
As I said, my hypnotic charm is passive and it's on all the time, but it's not always successful even when I do deliberately try to charm someone into something. It's so subtle that the people I'm trying to manipulate have to actually want to do what I'm trying to get them to do, at least a little bit.
For example, I can't walk up to some random guy on the street and tell him to jump off a cliff. Well, I could, but they probably wouldn't do it. I have to sweet-talk them and even then it probably wouldn't work unless they were suicidal or planned to do it with a parachute or something.
After all this time, it's probably safe to say I have manipulated you on more than one occasion, and for that I'm sorry. Please believe me when I say I have never done so deliberately or maliciously.
Remy
Rogue put the letter down after rereading it for the fifth time that night. What was he saying? That he only ever manipulated her into doing things she wanted to do in the first place, but it was okay because it was an accident? She had an uncontrollable power too, and never once did she think it was okay she put David into a coma for three weeks, or Bobby into a coma for two months. They were accidents too and you didn't see her making excuses. Oh no, she was honest. She told people and warned them off touching her skin. She took precautions so that there wouldn't be any more accidents. It wasn't okay!
Rogue was interrupted from her stewing by a knock on the door.
"Roguey? It's Remy."
Rogue pressed her lips shut. She did not want to talk to him right now.
"I brought you dinner," Gambit went on when there was no reply. "When you didn't come down, I thought you might be hungry."
Gambit sighed when there was still no reply.
"I hope you're actually in there," he added lightly. "Otherwise I'd feel like a big idiot talking to an empty room. There times to have Logan's sense of smell, no?"
There was no answer, but Gambit thought he heard movement.
"So, umm, I guess I'll leave this—" the door swung open and Rogue looked at him with smouldering fury "—here."
Just as Gambit was trying to figure out what to say, Rogue opened the door wider. Past her he could see the jewellery box he had given her lying broken on the floor. He closed his eyes and looked down.
"You've got five minutes to convince me you're not playing puppetmaster with my life," Rogue said shortly, moving away so he could come in.
"Puppetmaster?" Gambit repeated, his head shooting back up. "Rogue, you're no puppet."
"I had better not be," Rogue replied darkly, slamming the door shut as Gambit stepped inside.
"Rogue, I," he paused, looked around for a place to put the tray, and ended up placing it on the dresser where Rogue had been keeping the jewellery box. "I didn't even know I had this ability until Professor Xavier caught me using it on him. Until then I had always thought I was just naturally charming, not supernaturally charming. And believe you me, I wish it was the former."
Rogue said nothing, merely stared at him with her arms folded across her chest.
"And yeah, okay," Gambit went on, turning back to face her and shoving his hands in his back pockets. "I admit after finding out I did go a little crazy trying to manipulate people. It was like this shiny new toy and I learned a lot from that but... Well, it's great for work, but not so good for personal relationships. A lot of people get angry and upset when they find out you can manipulate them without even thinking about it."
"Gee, I wonder why," Rogue said sarcastically.
"If I could turn it off I would," he told her seriously. "It sounds like a great ability to have, but it's really the pits—"
"Oh woe is Remy," she cut in scornfully.
"You know you're not making this any easier," Gambit said mildly.
"Oh I'm sorry," Rogue said cynically. "You see, I was under the impression that you were my friend. Now I find out you've been manipulating me on a psionic level this whole time. Just how much of our so-called friendship is a lie?"
"None of it, I hope," he replied stonily. "You might seem to recall when we first met we were both Cured. We were like old friends right from the start. There was no hypnotic charm involved."
"And after that?"
"I've learned to become very careful in what I say to people. The words are important. See, I could say 'climb up that tree', or I could say 'will you climb up that tree?'" Gambit explained. "One is a command, the other is a choice."
"But it's not just getting them to do what you want, it's also getting them to believe it," Rogue reminded him. "Everything you're saying to me is a statement, to get me to believe what you're saying. Why should I?"
"Because you're questioning whether you should believe me or not."
Rogue grew silent. Gambit approached her and took her hands. She looked down at their clasped fingers.
"See, I had hoped that the letter would explain things and that it would be enough," he said sincerely. "Because right now, I really want you to believe me and I really want to make things right. And if the part of you that wants to believe me is stronger than the part of you that doesn't, then odds are you're being manipulated right now, and I hate that. I hate that because it means I'm the one making the decision, not you. I love my family and friends and I want them to be who they are and not...not puppets, as you say. One of the things I liked about travelling is that this thing doesn't work over the phone or over the internet—too great a distance—so I could have a conversation with someone I cared about and not have to worry about that. I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't have tried to have this conversation in person. I'm sorry."
He started to pull away but Rogue didn't let his hands go. She lifted her head and their eyes met.
"Remy, we spend time in person all the time," she pointed out. "You can't be leaving the room every time we go to have a serious discussion. It doesn't work that way."
"D'accord," he replied quietly. "What do you want to do?"
"I need to know I can say 'no' to you," Rogue said seriously. "I accept that you can't control it and that you try to avoid incidences. But I need to know that, worst case scenario, I can still make my own decisions."
For a moment Gambit was silent, then the closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"Would you accept it if I deliberately tried to manipulate you into doing something we both know you don't want to do? As in, saying 'no' to that, as proof?" he asked finally.
"Yes," Rogue replied.
"Please don't hate me for this," he sighed, then opened his eyes and brought her hand to his lips and then—much to Rogue's surprise—kiss her hand, her elbow, her shoulder and finally her collar-bone, nuzzling her neck with his nose.
"Remy?" she exclaimed, then shivered as he whispered into her ear: "I want you."
Abruptly she realised one of his hands was on her hip, his thumb running circles while his other hand traced unseen patterns on her back. He started to kiss her neck, mostly because he really didn't want to look her in the eye right now.
"I want to feel your beautiful naked body under mine," he whispered into her ear between kisses. "I want to kiss every inch of your skin. I want to mould your perfect breasts and roll your nipples around with my tongue. I want to lick my way up your legs and pay homage to your womanhood."
Rogue gasped softly. Her breath quickened and she could feel her body pulsate with every stroke of his fingers and every kiss he laid on her.
"You make me hot," he whispered, his voice deep and sensual. "I want to make love to you over," he kissed her, "and over", another kiss, "and over again."
Gambit closed his eyes, painfully aware of how well Rogue's body was responding to him. He wanted to cry. This was not how he wanted to do this. Well, for that matter, he didn't want to do this at all. Perhaps he should have taken a different tact, but it was the first one that came to mind. He fought to keep his voice steady as he whispered the four words that would hail the moment of truth: "Have sex with me."
Rogue's gasp this time was a lot louder and for a moment all she wanted to do was throw herself at him and let him do all the things he said he wanted to do with her. As she caught her breath, the moment passed. It did take a little longer before she was actually able to verbalise: "No."
Gambit pulled away and sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes closed once more and his head facing the floor. Rogue stood on her own for a moment longer, then strode purposely over to the open balcony door and stood deliberately in the breeze.
"Damn, you're good at that," she said as she leaned against the screen. "I think I need a cold shower."
Normally Gambit might have laughed at that, but he was too busy feeling sick.
"Remy?" Rogue asked softly, when neither had spoken for a time. "What...what would you have done, if I'd, umm, if I'd thrown myself at you?"
"I would have left," he replied matter-of-factly. "I'm not going to date rape you."
"Date rape,' Rogue repeated with a blink. "Well, I... You... I didn't think of it that way."
"Believe me, I have," Gambit said bitterly. "Here's the thing, chère. In order for my hypnotic charm to have any impact on someone, they need to be receptive. In order to get a one night stand, they need to be receptive. I have to be so careful in what I say. One slip of the tongue, one wrong word and I may as well have slipped something in their drink. I hate this power. The only hope I have is that it was something Stryker did that made me unable to switch it on and off, because if this is a truly passive power then..."
As Gambit trailed off uncertainly, Rogue got on the bed beside him and wrapped her arm across his shoulders.
"Why didn't you just tell me all of this before, in Storm office?" Rogue asked. "Y'know, instead of just saying you've manipulated me? Hell, for that matter, why didn't you tell me earlier? Storm and Logan both know."
"Storm knows because she was there when I found out—although granted I probably would have told her anyway," Gambit explained. "I'd never any intention of telling Logan. He found out because we decided to having a drinking competition. He won, by the way. Emma knows because she's a high-level telepath and has 'caught' me using it on her although she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm not doing it on purpose. I told mon père, Henri and Mercy. I never knew what Père thought, but Henri and Mercy both freaked. The only other person I ever told was... Her name was Melissa. We were serious, and although she was fine with me being a mutant she completely freaked out when I finally told her about my secondary mutation. It's very hard to work up the nerve to tell people about a power you hate yourself, let alone one that triggers a nasty breakup. I don't tell anyone."
Rogue nodded slowly.
"Okay," she said.
"Okay," Gambit repeated.
"I'm gonna have to sleep on it. This is an awful lot to take in, Remy."
"I know."
"But... I'd like to get past this, if we can," Rogue said seriously. "I like being your friend, Remy. We've been getting on pretty well together, and today was fun, even if we did do the wrong thing. No one else I'd rather to do the wrong thing with. Well, except maybe Logan."
Gambit chuckled softly.
"I'm still mad at you for not saying so earlier," Rogue went on as she made her way over to the dinner tray. "Just so you know."
"Noted," he replied, his eyes moving to the broken jewellery box. "You know, chère, if you'd given up trying to find the secret compartment, you could have just said so."
"Hmm?" Rogue glanced up from the sushi, looked at the jewellery box and a flash of embarrassment appeared on her face. "Uhh, yeah, sorry about that. I was angry. I was angry at you, and I have this tendency to throw things when I get mad."
"Désolé. I'll get it fixed for you," he said, getting up off the bed and moving to the floor to pick up the pieces.
"You don't have to do that," Rogue replied quickly. "I was the one who broke it."
"I was the one who made you angry," Gambit pointed out. "I want to. Besides, I'm the one who knows where to take it to get it fixed."
"Point taken," she conceded. "Thanks for dinner."
"Thanks for being so understanding."
"I think it would be highly hypocritical of me to criticise you for having an uncontrollable power you regard as a curse, when I have one of those myself. I just... I need a chance to deal, okay? I'm a lot more open about mine than you are of yours, so..."
"And you should have heard it from me, not from Storm," Gambit agreed, standing up with all the pieces in his hands.
"Yes, I should have," Rogue nodded.
"Désolé. All I ask is that, whatever happens, you don't spread this around."
"Not my secret to tell."
