For the next two to three days, my daily routine consisted of this: I would wake up between seven to nine in the morning according to my watch, and then Amanda would come in with my breakfast exactly thirty minutes after I woke up, and we would talk about our lives before the Yeerks and before the Nothlit State. I would be given lunch at noon on the dot and dinner at seven before I would go to sleep sometime between ten and eleven. I can't remember the last time that I got to sleep at such an early time; recently I've been going to sleep between twelve midnight to two in the morning, sometimes even three o'clock. Anyway, that was my daily schedule as a prisoner of the Nothlit State, and when the next day comes, rinse and repeat.
Also, my conversations with Amanda revealed to me a very tragic story about a girl who, like a lot of people before and after her, joined the Sharing to become a part of a larger group, something bigger than she was, to feel like somebody more than she was. In many ways, Amanda Barzaglio before the Sharing was just like me before Yemra infested me: shy, quiet, and timid (although I like to think that I probably wouldn't have joined the Sharing anyway even if it meant that I would get more friends). I'm just not really the type to make a lot of friends, although I do appreciate the friends that I do have. Jules, Carina, Sonia, Leo, everyone else, that's you guys. Shout-out!
But back to Amanda's story. She was lonely and she didn't have many friends, and the few friends she did have only remembered her when they needed something from her. The Sharing offered her both "true" friendship and a family that was way better than her own broken biological family, which consisted of an abusive Italian father and an alcoholic Irish mother, as well as three siblings who all see and treat her as the unwanted sister. Amanda's father was in and out of jail due to his associations with the mob while Amanda's mother finally passed away of liver cirrhosis at the arrival of the new millennium, but despite that, she was still able to treat her first three children well enough to get them to have significantly better lives. Not Amanda though. To her mother, Amanda was an unwanted child, the daughter that she hadn't planned to have but had anyway because she as an Irish woman didn't believe in contraception. Amanda was forced to work for minimum wage at her father's family's pizzeria, where she was also bossed around relentlessly by her siblings. She was, in essence, the perfect Sharing recruit.
The Sharing offered Amanda a way to regain control of her life and become successful in her own way. It did involve one massive trade-off though, and that was giving the freedom to do with her body as she wished to a tiny alien slug called a Yeerk. I wouldn't say that Amanda was desperate enough to fix her life that she would allow an alien worm into her head and take control of her body, but Amanda did tell me that she didn't hesitate when she said yes to the Sharing's offer. And that was how she met Mallek Four-Nine-Two of the Sulp Niaar Pool.
According to Amanda, it was Mallek (or Mal as Amanda had nicknamed her) who had taught her to become a more assertive person. It was Amanda's timidness that had allowed her siblings to push her around the way that they did, and it was only through Mallek's urging and pushing that Amanda finally found the courage to stand up for herself and quit her job at the pizzeria to become what she really wanted to be, an event planner and organizer (the Sharing of course became her most regular client). It was also Mallek who helped Amanda finally come to terms with her grievances with her family, especially her mother. Essentially it boiled down to Mallek listening silently while Amanda ranted and raved and cursed her family, mostly her mother and her siblings but mostly her mother. It was real Cleaning Out My Closet by Eminem stuff, Amanda told me, and when she told me some of the stuff she had said during that time, I'm inclined to agree with her.
And Mallek and Amanda became best friends for the simple reason that that they had both seen what the other truly was and still stuck with each other through and through. Mallek had seen all of Amanda's life up to the point that she had infested her and decided that she would love to keep this human as her host, and when Mallek revealed as much of her life as she could to Amanda, Amanda decided that it was still worth it to keep Mallek as her Yeerk. Amanda's relationship with Mallek once again reminded me of my own relationship with Yemra, and there were just so many parallels between my life and Amanda's that at this point it was practically eerie.
And then came that fateful day in early 2002 when the Yeerk invasion of Earth was on its last legs. It was Mallek's scheduled feeding time, and as the Animorphs had destroyed the original Yeerk Pool underneath their city, all the Yeerks in the SoCal area were now ordered to feed at the Pool ship. Amanda had not wanted Mallek to go to the Pool ship because, and I quote, she had this bad unexplainable feeling that something bad was probably going to happen. But Mallek had assured Amanda that she had nothing to worry about; security in and around the Pool ship was supposed to be airtight and no intruders could or would be able to get through. But the Animorphs did manage to breach the Pool ship's security and take control of the ship itself (with the help of the Peace Movement and the unwitting assistance of a bunch of separatist Yeerks), and the rest is history. Sure, it was a part of history that had been glossed over time and again because it didn't fit the narrative of the Animorphs being the saviors of humanity but it's still a part of our history nonetheless. A dark chapter in the history of humanity but still part of history.
Amanda slipped into a state of catatonic shock when she heard the news of the Pool ship being vented by Jake. When she finally recovered from her catatonia, she was inconsolable over Mallek's death. She wasn't alone in her grief, of course; lots of voluntary Controllers also lost Yeerks in the Pool ship venting. But how could she and they mourn for their Yeerks when the rest of humanity was busy celebrating the species' first ever victory in an interstellar war? The first few post-war years were very, very difficult for Amanda. There were points where she just aimlessly drifted in and around the Los Angeles area, sometimes hoping that she would finally die so she could be reunited with Mallek in the afterlife. Amanda was eventually forced to go back to working for her siblings in the family pizzeria, and she was mistreated even more now because of her connection with the Yeerks. Amanda did manage to get away from the pizzeria eventually, but that was also the same time that she turned to drugs to cope with life without Mallek.
When President George W. Bush finally signed the legislation recognizing the rights of the few remaining human-Controllers to retain their Yeerks, Amanda couldn't care less. She didn't have a Yeerk in her head anymore so what was the point of celebrating when the only thing she could keep hold of was her memories of Mallek? However, when President Obama finally signed the Voluntary Infestation Act into law (the VIA had been proposed during the Bush administration, right after the passage of the Yeerk Recognition Act, but took such a long time to go through Congress that it took until Obama's term to get it signed), Amanda did take notice. Here now finally was her chance to regain a semblance of normalcy in her life by getting a Yeerk in her head once again. Sure, it wasn't going to Mallek who was going to go into her head, but she didn't care. All she wanted was to be infested by a Yeerk again; simple as that.
Sure enough, Amanda applied for voluntary infestation in the rebuilt Yeerk Pool underneath the SoCal area. When she was contacted for a physical interview, she thought that she was on her way to finally getting another Yeerk. But it turned out that the real reason why she had been called over for a face-to-face interview was just to tell her that she had failed to meet the criteria for a voluntary infestation candidate. Chief among the Human-Yeerk Alliance's reasons for rejecting Amanda's application was her history of substance abuse, specifically narcotics like cocaine and heroin. The HYA had hoped that by telling Amanda the reasons for her rejection in person, she would take the news more lightly, but of course the exact opposite happened. Amanda got angry and began yelling at the HYA members, saying that they were refusing to give her a Yeerk because her former Yeerk hadn't been a member of the Peace Movement during the invasion. That wasn't true, of course (the part about the HYA denying her application because Mallek wasn't a Peace Movement Yeerk) but at that point, Amanda was on a roll. She was at that point displaying paranoid-depressive behaviors, classic symptoms of former voluntary Controllers who were no longer infested with Yeerks.
Once Amanda had calmed down though, she decided that she was going to apply for infestation in places other than the SoCal Pool, hoping that there was someplace which would accept her as a candidate. Using her savings and her pension as a former Controller, Amanda flew to places like Phoenix, OKC, Minneapolis and Buffalo in the hopes that the Yeerk Pools there would accept her application. But everywhere she went, her application was denied, and all for the same reasons as the ones given to her by the SoCal Pool. After the bouts of frustration and anger that inevitably surfaced once again when she learned of her rejections at all the aforementioned Pools had finally subsided, Amanda decided that she would plead her case directly to the leader of the Human-Yeerk Alliance herself, Tarash Five-One-Four, Visser Five. As she had used up the last of her money flying from Minneapolis to Buffalo, Amanda had hitchhiked her way to Pennsylvania to talk to Tarash but when she got there, she was told that Visser Five was off promoting the HYA in Europe in the hopes of establishing a worldwide Yeerkish presence. Amanda had to settle with talking to Tarash's assistant, who based on Amanda's descriptions of him I can only assume to be Yibey Nine-One-Five and Ken Fuchs. Yibey/Ken had promised Amanda that he would bring up the matter with Tarash and that he hoped to get word to the Visser soon enough.
That was two years ago. Amanda had ended up working odd jobs all throughout the city while waiting for word from either Yibey or Tarash about her application for voluntary infestation, but in the end she got nothing. I can only hope that Yibey genuinely forgot to tell Tarash about Amanda because he seemed like the guy who would try to reduce his superiors' workload as much as possible. Whoever said that aliens don't know the concept of red tape and bureaucracy? And that was the point when Amanda had finally grown disenchanted with the Human-Yeerk Alliance as well, thus paving the way for her recruitment into what would eventually become the Nothlit State.
Anyway, that was the story of the girl Amanda Barzaglio and her Yeerk Mallek Four-Nine-Two. Why did I write her story down right in the middle of my story, you may ask? Well, all will be revealed as you read further and further into my story, but for now, all you need to know is that this is all for posterity, and that it is also the fulfillment of a promise that I made.
But back to Yemra and I. It's been three days since we were captured by the Nothlit State while trying to escape the coming battle between them and the Pennsylvania National Guard; three days since they started their plan to starve Yemra out of me. Of course, if it was any other Yeerk that was in my head, the nothlits' plan would have worked liked a charm, but the problem is that Yemra is not like any other Yeerk. Through forces still unknown to the both of us, Yemra had been blessed (or cursed, who knows?) with the ability to somehow survive for more than three Earth days without having to swim around in the Kandrona ray-rich sludge of a Yeerk Pool. She doesn't know why or how she was able to do that, and I have no idea as well, and right now we both don't really care.
I woke up at eight AM according to my wristwatch. The nothlits had taken my watch on the first day that they had made me their captive, but then gave it back to me through Amanda the day after as part of their process to starve Yemra out of my head. Apparently a constant reminder of the time of day speeds up the arrival of Kandrona starvation for a Yeerk. But that was the furthest thing from my mind as I stretched out my arms and legs, and I called out in my head, ((Morning, Yems.))
Morning, Jen, Yemra replied, and she sent me a mental image of a mouth yawning, and that mental image caused me to yawn again. ((So, looks like it's already day three, am I right?))
If your watch says so, then I believe it, Yemra replied.
((So are you still okay up there, Yems? Not feeling hungry or thirsty or anything, girl?))
Nope. I actually feel great, Jen, Yemra told me. If I was feeling hungry or thirsty or in any way inconvenienced by our current situation then I would have already said something to you last night, right? Remember the last time that we tried to see how long I could last without Kandrona rays.
((Yeah. Who could forget that though? Everyone thought that we were going crazy. Or at least they thought I was going crazy. I hadn't told anyone about you yet back then, right? God, those were crazy times.)) I sighed and leaned back on the edge of my cot. ((But are you really sure that you can do this, though, Yems?)) I asked my Yeerk. ((You're not going to just suddenly pop out of my head and beg for Kandrona rays right now, right?))
Of course not! Yemra retorted. You and I both know how long I can actually last without the Kandrona. If the nothlits are that patient, they can eventually do it after thirty days, but if they've only got three days to do it, they won't be able to do it. They just simply can't.
We both had a good short laugh at that as a way to release the tension around us. I smiled at the thought of Yemra holding some sort of tea party inside my head while the nothlits kept shouting at her to get out because they have Kandrona rays. And then my thoughts returned to our present situation, and the smile quickly faded from my lips. ((You know, Yems, by doing this, you're going to reveal that there is a way for Yeerks to survive without the Kandrona for more than three days, right?)) I asked.
Yes, Jen, I am fully aware of that particular fact, Yemra replied. We have both already talked about this, and we both agreed that this is the best course of action that we have.
((Well, what if the nothlits become really interested in that fact? What if they decide that what they now want to know is how you can survive without Kandrona rays for more than three days? These nothlits, Amanda says that they're working for the Yeerk Empire to get some new Imperial Yeerks back on Earth. They're really going to want to know how it's possible for a Yeerk to survive more than three days without Kandrona rays. Have you really given it some thought? Have you wondered how you survived like the way you survived?))
No, Jen, I still haven't come up with any theory, plausible or not, as to why I can go up to thirty Earth days without the Kandrona, Yemra replied. Nor do I really care, to be honest. The universe has decided that I should become like this and I have long ago accepted it.
((But what if the nothlits decide to torture us for the secret to your immunity?)) I pressed.
Yemra showed me a mental image of a furrowed eyebrow. Well, shit, was all that she could say.
At that moment, the Gleet Bio-Filter blocking off my cell from the rest of the Nothlit State's new command post flickered away, and Amanda Barzaglio walked in carrying my breakfast for the day (more powdered soup if you were wondering) as always. However, Yemra and I both realized that this day was not going to be like the others as instead of sitting down across the table from me to chat as had been our routine for the past three days, Amanda simply put the tray with the soup bowl down on the table and said to me, "You have to tell the nothlits what they want to know, Jen, Yemra. That's the only way that you can make them consider letting your Yeerk get some Kandrona rays before she goes through the fugue."
"What the nothlits wanted to know" was the Human-Yeerk Alliance's plans to counter the Nothlit State and their plans to bring the Yeerk Empire back to Earth. Truth be told, I was absolutely the worst person that the nothlits could have captured for that particular purpose as I simply really legitimately knew nothing about the HYA's plans to counter the Nothlit State. Sure, there was Yibey's Army, but Tarash had already ordered him to pull out of the city and let the National Guard do the dirty work, but I know nothing about that aside from the fact that I was part of Yibey's Army for only a few short days and wasn't really involved in all the deeper strategic planning on Yibey's part. If the nothlits really wanted to know the HYA's plans then they should have captured someone like Ken Fuchs or George Islington. Not that they would have blabbed on the HYA's plans as well, at least according to Yemra.
"I'm sorry, Amanda," I replied. "But I already said this a lot of times. I really don't know anything about what the HYA is planning. And even if I did, it's not like I'm going to talk to anybody about it, would I?"
"All right, I'm going to give you that," Amanda replied. "But you do know that if you do know something and you're not telling us about it, the nothlits are just going to starve Yemra out of your head and then, once she's out, they're going to force another Yeerk in your ear to blab out your deepest and darkest secrets to them. The first batch of Yeerks from Imperial territory has already arrived, and they're shuttling those new Yeerks down as we speak. One of those Yeerks is going to end up in your head and you'll be made their host until the Empire takes over Earth once again, or until the National Guard smashes them into the ground."
"Sure, they can do that," I said. "But they'll still get nothing because I really don't know anything."
"Suhlahlak!" the voice of Immib Two-Seven-One, the appointed leader of the Nothlit State in Pennsylvania, called out from beyond my cell. Amanda cursed and quickly walked out of my cell just in time for Immib to see me in my cell. "So, has the prisoner talked already, suhlahlak?" Immib asked Amanda.
"No, Visser," Amanda replied, keeping her head down and not looking at Immib at all. "The prisoner refuses to talk about anything other than things which are completely irrelevant to the information which you are after."
"Perhaps the traitor worm is refusing to let the host speak," Immib said, more to himself than to Amanda or anyone else. "But a few hours from now, the Yeerk traitor will starve and the prisoner will finally be free to speak of her own accord, with the help of one of our own loyal Yeerks, of course. Speaking of which, has the Yeerk shown signs of distress from starvation already?"
"I don't think so, Visser," Amanda said. "The prisoner looks completely fine and unaffected by any distress from the Yeerk, if indeed there is any. The Yeerk also appears to be completely unconcerned with the time of day."
"Maybe not now, but it certainly will in a few hours," Immib said confidently. "Report back to me when the prisoner's Yeerk is finally in distress."
That's what you think, Immib, Yemra said in the privacy of my mind. There was quite a bit of seething venom and hatred oozing from her when she said those words.
A/N: So there we have it. In a few hours (in the story at least), the Nothlit State will finally discover that Jen's Yeerk can survive for more than three days without the Kandrona but they don't know it yet. How will they react to it? Feel free to leave a review about your thoughts about that, and also feel free to leave a review if you've liked the story so far. If you didn't really like it or have something to say about how I can improve things then feel free to leave a review as well. Oh, and if you did like my story and would like to keep yourself up to date with it, feel free to leave a follow or a favorite if you like. Any and all commentary is appreciated! - GR
