AN: Hey guys, since you've been patient with me for who knows how long, I didn't want to keep you waiting again. So I decided to split this chapter and merge the parts afterwards again. That way I can publish as soon as each part is done. Win-win-win.
And as always: lemme know your thoughts :)
Follow your heart to the water
Fill your pockets with stone
Throw your arms around me
Never let me go
The River – Parkway Drive
Chapter 26 ~ Into the Void (I)
Never in my whole god-forsaken life had I been surrounded by so much death.
I lifted my head off the sickly wet floor where the relay had spat me out and squinted at a half-decayed face, staring at me through the dim red light. Bile burned in my throat. The thick, sweet stench of rot was overwhelming. I would have thrown up, only I had no energy left.
Finally, I dragged up my hand and shoved the grinning skull aside. I had troubles dispelling the dark blotches the exertion sent through my vision.
Had I passed out? I couldn't remember... I... Silent dread slithered up my spine. I listened for the alien knot of emotions, yet the unconscious presence appeared blissfully unchanged.
My relief was short and instantly smothered by the hot, grating pain that pulsed in my calf.
Fuck this. Just fuck...
You're vanguard, remember?
Jaws clenched against the nausea, I fought myself once more back on my feet and limped further into the wide corridor, unable to turn my head and look back. Or anywhere else but at the floor right in front of my feet.
At one point the corridor before me had been a maintenance area running underneath the Citadel's actual walk ways.
Now it was a mass grave.
Even the Collector base was nothing but a pale smudge compared to this nightmare. The sheer number of corpses was mind-breaking. And between them, the Keepers; continuing their tireless work so utterly unperturbed by the dead people piling left and right. Waiting to be processed; their flesh slowly rotting away.
One of the odd six limbed creatures skirted me, its insectoid face devoid of any expression and I wondered, not for the first time, if they once had been a sentient race as well. All those eons ago, before the Reapers had turned them into the space station's mindless slaves.
Must reach Citadel Tower.
Must open arms.
Must reach Citadel Tower.
Must open…
My world shrunk until there was nothing but those two little thoughts, two pinpricks of focus that just kept dragging me on; word after word, step after step.
I was vanguard.
I would not fail.
~V~
I was drifting.
Wrapped in a bubble of balmy numbness, I floated among the cooling black waves of an infinite sea. Pain was distant here. No sounds. Just the low triple beat of my heart.
Nobody had ever told me that dying could be so peaceful.
Eternity ticked by as my mind slipped in and out of consciousness.
Until... Muffled sounds pierced into my bubble. The roar of a distant thunder. Then a high-pitched singsong slipped through and suddenly my body felt like moving. Something… there was something fundamentally wrong with the notion. If the thought would only hold still long enough for me to grasp it…
The singsong turned into voices, the thunder into the drone of an engine.
"…dead. So many…"
"…said they didn't know who else…"
"…huge. It was suddenly there, wiping out…"
Lured by those clear human voices, I was already drifting off once more.
I'll come back for you, Vakarian.
Alarm rippled through me. Shepard… She would come back…. But if I was moved - I wouldn't be there!
I struggled to twitch. To speak. Something. Anything. Stop them from taking me away. She wouldn't find me if I wasn't where she left me!
"Alice! He's going into hemorrhagic shock!"
"Quick! Parker, the dextro-compatible…"
The black waves churned and dragged me under.
~V~
My bloodied fingers slipped from the console.
I sunk down until I sat on the floor of the control room located just below the Council Chambers at the top of the Citadel tower, my broken body sagging against the cool steel housing of the dashboard.
Did it work? Did the arms open?
Pressure enclosed my mind. I barely noticed it anymore. My pulse hammered against my temples. More spots dancing before my vision. Every muscle screamed.
Gods... My body hurt so badly.
Just turning my head towards the windows at the far end of the room had become an impossible task. So I merely stared ahead. At the unmoving body lying two feet away.
"You will never control them… Never control me…" I rasped at the Illusive - No! No, that hadn't been real! I had fought someone or something, but it hadn't been him. It couldn't be. We had already killed him, back then on Cronos Station. Hadn't we?
I dragged my hand over my face, leaving another smear of blood. Maybe if I rested for a few minutes…
Ivy. You've already come this far.
"Anderson…" My cracked lips moved, barely making a sound.
I always had a feeling about you.
"I'm so sorry… I never meant to disappoint you…" But I was just so fucking tired...
I know. I'm proud of you, kid. Now get up and finish this.
Faces flickered, all urging me to get up. Red. My squat on Akuze. Pressley and the rest of the SR1's crew. Legion. Jacob. Kelly. Mordin. Thane. Ash. My mother.
Kaidan.
Damn, I had to move.
"Just... only..." Only a few more minutes. I promise, Kaidan.
"Shepard?"
This time a synthetic female voice spoke up softly inside my ear.
"Shepard, do you read me?"
I forced my eyes open. Grappled with orientation. The omni-tool on my wrist blinked at me with a faint orange light. Was this... the Normandy's crew channel?
"EDI?" Are you real? "How did you…The communication..."
"Admiral Hackett has arrived. The Reapers concentrate their attacks on the fleet."
"EDI?"
"Commander?"
"You did something stupid, didn't you?"
Silence. "Yes."
"No, we didn't!" A second voice suddenly exclaimed.
I closed my eyes. Jeff. Of course. Stubborn stubborn idiot.
"We don't know who else made it through the relay," EDI added. "Somebody had to reach you. Once within team radio distance, the Normandy stood the best chances to successfully broadcast despite the interferences."
"Don't worry about us," my flight Lieutenant injected, "Our lives aren't worth two shits, if we don't get this to work."
"What...?"
"Commander, the arms have opened but the Crucible is not reacting."
I groaned. Yeah, right. Why should anything in this dumb galaxy work as it was supposed to?
"The blueprints suggest there might be a control unit on top of the Council Chambers."
So much for my rest.
"Copy that, EDI. Now go. If Harbinger or the other Reapers pick up on you..." I said through clenched teeth and pulled myself upright, the implanted tech fighting against the pain for all its worth.
"We know. They already have."
Shock jerked me fully alert. No. Nononono!
"Jeff and I have spoken about the possible consequences. We have no regrets." This couldn't be happening... "And Commander? You gave me the chance to learn and evolve; and even in some way, to become sentient. The Reapers, they are nothing but machines - but I am more, and I am grateful for all of it."
I tried to speak, but my throat constricted.
"Hey, and don't forget to send those robo squids our especially best regards when you kick their ugly asses, Shepard. It has been an honor. Always. Joker ou-"
I was left with nothing but static.
~V~
I was in pain.
Pulsing, hot stabbing pain and deep within, a howling sadness wrapped in terrible rage, disrupting the peaceful silence I was reaching out for. It ripped through the haze of unconsciousness, triggered my brain and flooded my cells with adrenaline.
Which was odd.
I was so pumped up on painkillers I barely felt my limbs anymore. The pain stabbed me again, a crippling, bone-deep ache seizing every fiber of my body and soul, and yet it didn't. But it felt real. So real…
Spirits.
It was her.
Another black wave rolled towards me and licked my mind. It was so temptingly easy to let go. To stop fighting the weight of my own body and simply embrace the endless oblivion…
No! You promised to never abandon her again!
The thought ignited a spark of anger.
I had let her down. This was the very end and I wasn't watching her sixes.
But you promised!
The spark hissed into a flame.
I focused on the alien awareness and welcomed the shared pain.
Hold on, little Spectre. Hold on.
I clawed into the bond, screaming at the black walls closing in.
