Chapter 28
Back at the squad, Ross told them they didn't have enough yet for a search warrant. He asked who else may have seen her body before the campus police found it, and the answer was the other debater, Dr. Corliss, the atheist.
Bobby found an old, thinner overcoat in his locker, and decided it would get him through the rest of the day. They went out to interview Corliss, and he told them he saw the Reverend with a manila envelope. It was enough to ask a judge for their warrant.
At the car, Alex asked him what he wanted to do.
"What do you mean?" he asked, completely missing the point of her question.
"I mean… if you want to come over tonight… or if not, that's okay too…"
"I-I'd like that, I think."
"You still need a better coat," she commented, giving him a glance.
Bobby picked some lint off the old coat. "It's okay. I'll stop by my place in-in the morning," he said.
They ate dinner and Alex took a bath while Bobby called his mother. At first it was the usual chit-chat, her complaints about the hospital staff, her comments on what she'd seen of his case on the news.
In an attempt to change the subject, Bobby blurted, "Your birthday is Sunday."
"Yes, another one. Probably my last."
"Ma!"
"It's true, Bobby. May as well admit it."
Goren scratched his head, closing his eyes and nodding impatiently. "Yeah, well, I think this one will be pretty special for you."
"Not without your brother. He's dead, Bobby, I just know it."
"No, Ma, I saw him."
"You saw your brother?!"
As soon as the words slipped out, he regretted saying them. "He's coming on Sunday."
She squealed with delight, and he felt a very real pain as he realized the depth of his error. "Wonderful, Bobby! When will you be here?"
"In the afternoon, Ma. I'll be there Sunday afternoon." He hoped she picked up on his pronoun.
"You and your brother… we'll all be together again! I'll have to ask them to do a better job with this ridiculous wig…"
"Ma, it's just… you don't have to try to…"
"Oh, Bobby, I was so afraid I'd never see him again. How did he look? Is he working?"
"Ma, he looked… he looked fine. You can ask him yourself about the rest."
Alex came out, rubbing a towel against her wet hair. She overheard the end of their conversation, which centered around Frank. Bobby finally ended the call with a tense sigh.
"She's, uh… she's looking forward to seeing him."
Alex was speechless. She knew Bobby had the same worries as she did. She dropped the towel to her side. "It's been a long day," she said. "You want a bath?"
He looked at her, but he was still preoccupied. He'd already removed his tie. He slipped out of his suit coat and dropped it unceremoniously into the seat. His shirt soon followed.
She came so close he could smell the fresh fragrance of her shampoo. Alex's hand cupped against his stubbly cheek. Bobby hunched down as she reached up, and they kissed. "I'll be in the bedroom," she told him.
The warm water did wonders for his stiff muscles, but he found himself still thinking about his brother. Bobby wondered when Frank had last had the luxury of a bath. He wondered if he was truly homeless, or if he maybe had some kind of cheap efficiency somewhere. He wondered if the girlfriend contributed anything to Frank's life. It didn't escape his notice that Frank had said nothing more about her than "That's my old lady," and "she's a little shy."
Of course, he'd explained nothing about Alex, either. She was more than just his partner.
Bobby closed his eyes and sank further into the water. How much could you really share on a sidewalk in the bitter wind, after all?
He hadn't even hugged him. Bobby hugged all of his friends, so why couldn't he hug Frank?
He didn't really trust him, that was why. Frank used to be the one to take care of Bobby, when they were kids. All the way until Frank left for college, Bobby had looked up to him and trusted him completely. But over the years, all those incidents had whittled away at it until… now, instead of a pillar of trust, Bobby was left with only a wispy sliver of hope in Frank. Their roles had changed completely.
He finally emerged from the bathroom and joined Alex in bed. Bobby didn't even bother with clothing. He was hoping she would make love to him and take his mind off of everything.
She was reading, but she set her book on the nightstand and turned toward him with a smile.
Bobby kissed her. He wanted the comfort that only she could give.
She obliged him, but she didn't let him get carried away. "You've got a lot on your mind," she told him.
"Yeah," he replied and moved in to kiss her again.
Again, she held back. "Frank wasn't quite what I expected." Raw as it was, she was going to get him to talk.
"I've told you about Frank," Bobby retorted.
"He wasn't anything like I pictured."
"Because he's homeless?"
"No, it's not that," Alex said. "I guess it was just, physically. I guess I pictured him looking a lot more like you."
Bobby huffed. "We've never looked alike."
She smiled and shrugged. "I never saw a picture."
"He asked about you," Bobby said.
"Yeah? What'd you say?"
It was Bobby's turn to shrug. "Something about work… he thought we… you know…"
She nodded. She wasn't going to put pressure on him.
"I didn't know he was homeless." Bobby's thoughts from the bathtub came swirling back.
"You were very kind to him."
"I hope he… you know, Mom…"
"I hope he does, too, Bobby."
"I shouldn't have told her." He closed his eyes, and his cheeks burned.
Alex touched his strong arm. "Maybe he'll come through this time."
He bit his lip and stared at her, still berating himself for the slip.
"What's she like, Bobby? What does she say to you?"
He shook his head. "I… Alex, I don't wanna…" He swallowed, and Alex wondered if it had been a mistake to ask. "Sometimes, she's good. She's very smart." He smiled, thinking of his mother. "She's very opinionated, and even when… even in the bad times, her opinions are well thought-out."
"But she favors your brother," Alex guessed.
Bobby shrugged. "It's the illness. In her mind, she's built him up, made him into something…"
"But that still hurts." Alex's hand was still against his skin.
"I love her," Bobby explained.
Alex nodded. "She's your Mom," she said, and then dropped it. For a few minutes, she caressed his skin, and soon he started to reciprocate.
Her kisses were gentle, but his were hungry. He needed to escape it all tonight.
Alex wanted him to know he was loved. She gladly gave him what he asked for.
